Don't know where, don't know when.
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Don't know where, don't know when.: Chapter 18


E - Words: 14,265 - Last Updated: Feb 16, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 19/? - Created: Aug 20, 2011 - Updated: Feb 16, 2012
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"When were you going to tell me?"

Blaine went over to the table and pulled out a chair, slowly sinking down to sit next to Sam. "This wasn't how I expected you to find out, I swear, Sam."

Sam looked back down at the letter and set it back onto the table. "Well now I know. What, were you going to wait until the end of the year to let me know?"

"No." Blaine shook his head. "I was going to tell you tomorrow morning. Today was just too hectic."

"Well, that makes me feel somewhat better." Sam laughed dryly. "Don't get me wrong, Blaine, I'm glad you're getting this job. I'm just...well, you'll be leaving. I didn't even know you had applied for this. Maybe I'm just upset because normally you tell me everything and for something as important as this...surely you'd have told me by now. It says you applied like a month ago."

"Or maybe...you're upset because you like me and don't want me to leave you." Blaine replied softly.

Sam's head jerked up and he gave Blaine a slightly terrified, sad look. "That...that's not...can't we just deal with one conversation at a time here? I just...I want to know why you couldn't have just told me about this sooner."

"Actually I think we can have both conversations right now." Blaine replied. "And honestly the reason I didn't tell you sooner was because I wasn't even sure I'd get the job. When I looked into it they said their music teacher would not be leaving till the end of the school year, but they were looking for possible applicants ahead of time just so they'd be prepared. I know I don't graduate till next year, but I figured I'd give it a go anyway. They have a teacher who is able to work for one year. I'm going to finish my last year of schooling in Ohio, spend the school year student teaching at the orphanage and then after I graduate I'll take over."

Blaine liked to look ahead into things and careers were no exception. He had really been looking for music teaching related jobs in New York close to where he and Sam lived, but when he came across the ad online for a music teaching position to be filled for the exact same orphanage he had once lived at...well, applying for it had just felt like the right thing to do. He wanted to give back to the place that had once been his home. When he called to talk to the new lady who headed the orphanage – a Mrs. Oak – he had found out that quite a bit had changed since he had once lived there. It was now almost more like a school in the sense that the children had to attend lots of classes and got grades just like if they were going to a real school. There was a new music program as well, since Mrs. Oak was such a big fan of music. It had been a big help to Blaine's resume that he had been performing from such a young age, student taught at different schools, and had such a great musical education going for him. His grades were perfect – thanks to the threat hanging over him from his father. Mrs. Oak had been quite impressed.

"Honestly, I am happy for you, Blaine." Sam told him quietly. "It's a great opportunity."

"But you're still sad that I'm leaving, I know." Blaine commented. "I don't want to leave you either, Sam." Sam looked at him with an unreadable expression. "We need to talk about this."

"Why?" Sam asked sadly, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. "I already know how this is going to end."

"Do you?" Blaine questioned quietly.

"Yes?" Sam looked at him, uncertainty in his eyes. He had already made a decision, but what if Blaine said something that might change that?

Blaine reached over and laid his hand on top of Sam's gently. "Sounds like you're not too sure about that."

"Blaine..." Sam was gazing down at Blaine's hand on top of his. "Please don't...I know you don't feel the same way I do and...I don't want to get hurt."

"How long?" Blaine asked, watching Sam with a questioning expression.

"A long time." Sam replied. "I didn't even realize it at first. I think I've had a crush on you ever since the day you moved in...and by now I just can't stop thinking about you all the time..."

"Wow...that was a long time ago."

"I know. I just...you remember when I saw the stuff from Kurt you had in that box? When you were talking about him and talking about how you still wanted to be friends with him, even after how things had gone poorly the past couple of times you two had met...I couldn't help thinking how you seemed like the kind of guy who was strong and courageous; someone who would stick with his friends no matter what happened. The kind of guy that...that I really wanted to be with, someone who would stick with me no matter how silly or crazy I seemed sometimes and who would take the time to really get to know me. And you have. I know you know me better than even my own parents do, because I trust you completely, Blaine. I've told you things I've never told anyone else, even family. You've never broken that trust." Sam paused to take a deep breath, trying to keep his gaze on Blaine even though he wanted to look away and just hide. Here he was, confessing all this stuff and his feelings to the guy he really, really liked, and the entire time he just knew it was not going to end the way he had wanted it to when he first imagined having this conversation. It was taking all he had not to cry, because it hurt so badly. Why did liking someone so much have to hurt?

"I've told you once before that I like you." Sam informed him. Now that everything was coming out into the open, there was no point in Sam hiding this from Blaine anymore. "That night, last year, when you were drunk, before I left and was yelling at you I told you that I liked you."

Blaine was surprised. Sam had never told him before what else he had said that night to him. "Sam, I..." Well, Sam was being completely open and honest with him, so why couldn't he do the same? He had to be honest with Sam. "Last year...before the whole incident with Kevin, I realized that I had this sort of...crush on you. And then there was the night we slept on the couch together after leaving Abby at the hospital. I woke up the next day and...well," Blaine's face went slightly reddish, "I was scared when I realized I was attracted to you. I didn't want you to know because I figured there was no way you could feel the same way I do. So I acted like I wasn't interested, even if some of our silly banter bordered on flirting half the time. I thought if I told you then things would become awkward and you might not want to live with me anymore. And I didn't like that idea, because I love living with you. We have so much fun; this place, here with you, its home." Moving back to Ohio was going to be tough. His home was here, with Sam. His connection with Kurt...that had felt like home as well, but in a different sort of way.

"I just, well, don't laugh at me for saying this, but I just...I feel like you may have feelings for...Kurt."

"What?" Blaine looked at Sam in disbelief. "How so? We've only just become friends again, Sam. There's no way."

"I know, I know, but..." Sam shrugged, "I saw how you were watching him at the concert tonight. It was like...I don't know; you just looked so happy. And even though you two haven't been friends for over ten years...I don't know. It could be possible you have feelings for him and you just haven't realized it. And I don't want to be the one who gets tossed aside once you do."

Blaine was silent, thinking to himself. There was no way he could have feelings for Kurt. He hardly even knew Kurt. Well, he did, but that was the six year old Kurt he knew well. This older Kurt he barely knew, though he was going to make sure he got to know older Kurt because he definitely wanted to stay friends with him this time. And sure Kurt was attractive, but Blaine even thought Zac Efron was attractive, that did not mean he wanted to be in a relationship with the guy.

"Sam, I'll admit it. I love Kurt, but not in any sort of romantic way." Blaine shook his head; his hand's grip on Sam's tightening. "He was my best friend and I just...loved him, and I do want to get to know him again, but that doesn't mean I'm looking for a relationship with him. Besides, I'm sure Mitch would kill me or something for that, and I like being alive." He laughed. He really did not like that Mitch fellow.

"So...what exactly are you saying?" Sam asked hesitantly.

"Sam," Blaine smiled softly at his friend, "I'm saying that if you don't think this would make living together awkward or anything, I would really like it if you...if we could have a relationship together."

That was something Sam had been waiting to hear for forever. Blaine's words had his heart fluttering happily in his chest, yet, at the same time, the realization Sam had come to after seeing the orphanage letter was leading him to say something that made his heart ache in a terrible way...like it was being ripped in two.

"You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that..." Sam smiled lightly, his gaze fixed on the table in front of him, "but...I've realized that I can't."

"Wait. What?" Blaine shot him a confused look. "Sam...I don't understand."

Tears were pooling in Sam's eyes and he could not bring himself to look up and meet Blaine's questioning gaze. "You're going to be leaving at the end of the school year, Blaine. And then you're going to a different state to finish school and start a career."

"But..." Blaine still did not understand. Wasn't a relationship something Sam wanted? Blaine wanted a relationship as well; he really did like Sam a lot. So why was Sam giving this opportunity up? If it was the long distance thing... "Why don't you come with me?"

"I can't. I have my job here." Sam shook his head. "And I love the city. I've gotten to start everything over again here, escaping all the pain and suffering I went through at home when I was younger. My home is here. Though...it won't feel the same without you."

Blaine's own eyes were tearing up a bit. How was he ever going to be able to pack up and leave at the end of the school year now, knowing he would be far apart from Sam? He wanted that job at the orphanage so badly though that he could not give it up. "Sam...god, I don't like this. We could be happy together. I know it."

"I think so too." Sam replied quietly, a few tears escaping down his face. "And I wanted to be your first, for you to be my first..."

"But Kevin-"

"I know, but you don't even remember it and it didn't even mean anything." Sam explained. "I wanted to be the one you remember, the one that meant something. Your real first time. I wanted to show you how special you are, how important you are to me, because...I lo- really like you."

Blaine was unable to keep from crying at this point. Everything Sam was saying...Blaine believed it all. Sam would never lie to him. And he wanted to give Blaine the first time that he had always dreamt about but had never had. Except...now it was not going to happen.

"You wouldn't...you wouldn't even want to just..." Blaine was having trouble speaking through his tears, "try and then see where we were at by the end of the school year? We could figure something out."

As tempting, oh so very tempting, as the thought was – especially with how badly his heart was hurting at the moment – Sam just could not agree. "We can't, Blaine. I...I would want this to last a lot longer than just till the end of the school year, but that's when you're leaving and I don't think I could handle a long distance relationship, especially knowing that you'll end up living there for your job. Not being able to see you every day...it would be too difficult."

Blaine shook his head, trying to figure out a way they could make this work. He wanted it to work. Maybe he should have taken the chance a year or so ago when he first realized he was attracted to and had feelings for Sam. Now it was too late.

"We can't live our entire lives, our relationship together, by living in two different states. It just wouldn't work." Sam whispered brokenly.

This conversation had definitely gone in a way neither of them had anticipated. Before finding the letter, Sam had been pretty sure that Blaine would end up telling him he was not interested and then Sam would just have had to figure out how to pick up the pieces of his broken heart and move on. Now Sam was the one making the decision for them to not have a relationship together, even though Blaine wanted one almost as much as he did himself.

Before the start of this conversation, Blaine had decided that he was going to tell Sam that he did have feelings for him, and had for a while but had never said anything because he had been sure Sam did not feel the same way. He had been worried that if they did start a relationship it might be awkward at first since they lived together, even though they had been living together long enough they were used to each other and were quite comfortable around one another. Now he was worried that it would be awkward just because they both knew the other had romantic feelings, but they could not be together.

"It's getting really late." Sam commented quietly, avoiding looking over at Blaine. "I think we should turn in for the night." He had remained slightly strong up until this point, but he knew that as soon as he made it back to his own room the emotions storming through him would break forth and consume him.

Blaine could not reply verbally so he just nodded, standing up from the table and going over to the kitchen entrance. He was about to head into the living room to make his way to his own room when a hand caught his arm, causing him to pause. When he turned to look back, his hazel colored eyes locked on Sam's green ones that shone wet with tears and betrayed the feelings of desperation and heartbreak that Sam was trying so hard to keep back.

He did not know what Sam wanted him to do. They were just standing there, watching one another. It felt like ages passed before Blaine finally made any movement. Whether or not it was the right thing to do, Blaine did not know – it could be a terrible mistake considering their current state, making things more awkward later – but he went for it anyway, longing pushing his movements.

His hands reached up to cup Sam's face as he crashed their lips together. It felt like Sam had frozen for a second, unsure how to act at first, but then he was responding, kissing Blaine back with a desperation that had Blaine's heart aching and pounding in his chest. Before he knew it he felt himself being backed up against the kitchen wall, a loud moan escaping his lips as he felt Sam pressing up roughly against him.

The loud moan seemed to knock Sam back to his senses because he quickly tore apart from Blaine, a loud sob escaping him as he fled the room. Blaine was left leaning against the wall in the kitchen, his chest heaving as he gasped for air and listened to his roommate slamming his bedroom door shut.

Shit.

Things were ruined now. Blaine just knew it. How was he going to be able to face Sam in the morning?

A brief glance over at the clock hanging on the wall told him it was long after midnight. He really needed to get to bed...if he could even sleep at all. As he left the kitchen and headed towards his own room, he paused by Sam's closed door. Loud sobs were being poorly muffled from inside and it hurt to hear them. Blaine just wanted to open the door and hold Sam tightly, but he was a coward and could not even bring himself to reach out for the handle. Blaine could tell Kurt to have courage over and over, a million times even, yet he could not do the same for himself. It was pathetic. This was Blaine's entire fault anyway. Sam was probably going to hate him after this. He was probably going to regret letting Blaine kiss him too, and that made Blaine feel worse. He had stupidly just stolen Sam's first kiss from him.

Blaine made it to his own room and shut the door quietly behind him. Then he tiredly collapsed onto his bed, not even bothering to change out of his clothing. His mind was racing and he could barely keep himself from crying again. It was not long though before sleep overcame him and he was passed out.

*~*~***~*~*~**~*~

A muffled buzzing sound and a slight vibration in his pants pocket had Blaine jerking awake. It took him a moment before he finally realized his phone was going off in his pocket. Sleepily he lifted his head to look over at his alarm clock. It was almost noon. Groaning, Blaine dug his phone out of his pocket and looked to see who was calling him. He did not recognize the number.

"Hello?" He finally answered, trying not to yawn.

"Hey..." A slightly uncertain voice answered. "It's Kurt..."

That woke Blaine up a bit more. He managed to push himself upright and stretch. "Oh, hi, Kurt. Sorry, I literally just woke up."

"Oh...I'm sorry." Kurt replied quietly. "Should I call you back later?"

Blaine could not help thinking that there was a slightly sad tone to Kurt's voice, like he was upset about something. He rubbed his tired eyes lazily and tried not to yawn loudly over the phone. "No, it's fine. I'm up now and should probably stay up, can't sleep the day away."

Kurt laughed on the other end of the line, yet it sounded off to Blaine. Different than the happier laugh he had heard from Kurt the day before. He wondered if something had happened. "No, that wouldn't be good. So...I was wondering if you might want to go out and get coffee with me today. We could talk for a bit or something...if you're not busy that is. I don't want to be a bother."

Blaine felt his spirits lift a bit at Kurt's suggestion. He really did want to spend time with Kurt, getting to know him again. "You wouldn't be a bother at all, Kurt. What time did you want to get together? I can be ready in, like, half an hour."

"How about one?" Kurt asked. "You know that coffee shop you and your roommate were at yesterday when you ran into Mitch? We could meet there."

That was not too much of a walk. Blaine agreed to meet Kurt there and then he hung up to get ready. Once he was in the bathroom he winced when he saw his appearance reflected in the mirror. His eyes were all red and puffy still from crying the night before. Remembering all the crying he had done made him think about Sam. Was Sam already up? Blaine was not sure whether he could face him just yet or not.

He got into the shower and then afterwards tried to tame his unruly curls, using less gel than normal cause he remembered that time at Sectionals when Kurt told him he used too much and it looked terrible. His eyes looked less terrible after the shower as well, thankfully. After getting dressed again, Blaine grabbed just his winter coat, remembering that Kurt had his scarf, and then he finally made his way out into the living room.

The rest of the apartment was quiet. There was no sign of Sam, but the door to his room was still closed so Blaine could not tell if he was still in the apartment or not. He wanted to see Sam so they could talk, but at the same time he was kind of relieved they did not have to talk just yet. Whenever he got back from hanging out with Kurt then he would try talking to Sam again. Blaine quietly made his way out of the apartment, locking it behind him as he left and made his way down to the first floor lobby and out into the cold.

*~***~*~*~*~*~*

When Kurt woke up in the morning around nine, light was shining in through the window hitting his closed eyelids. He grumbled and turned under his soft blankets, pulling them over his head.

"You are so cute in the morning." A quiet voice spoke close by.

"No I'm not." Kurt replied stubbornly, yawning and not bothering to peek out from under the blankets to see where Mitch was in the room. "Were you really watching me sleep?"

Mitch chuckled nearby and then the blankets were being lifted a bit as he laid down and snuggled close to Kurt. "You know how much I love watching you, and not in an 'I'm a creepy old sparkly vampire that likes sitting in trees outside girls' windows to watch them sleep' way."

"Good...because otherwise I'd have called the cops." Kurt grinned, finally peeking out from the blankets to glance up at his boyfriend.

"That's what I always thought she should've done." Mitch laughed. "How was the bar last night? I guess you didn't get too drunk if you managed to make it home without waking me."

Kurt wrinkled his nose. "You know I hate drinking a lot. And..." He sighed, knowing he could not lie to Mitch, because it would not be fair to him. "I actually ended up not going."

"Really?" Mitch suddenly sounded oddly...cold, it seemed to Kurt. The look in his eyes made Kurt shiver. "But you didn't get home till really late or so. I'm guessing anyway since I fell asleep pretty quickly once getting home."

"I know." Kurt wondered why it was suddenly so difficult for him to make eye contact with Mitch. It was not like he had cheated on him or anything, just spoken to an old friend. "But after you and Chris left I ran back in to get my coat and ran into Blaine." He risked a glance upward, waiting to see how Mitch would react to hearing Blaine's name. Mitch did not have to say anything for Kurt to know just how much he disliked Blaine. What Kurt wanted to know was why? Why, after all this time and despite the fact that Kurt and Blaine had only ever been friends when they were little, Mitch disliked Blaine so much. Was it his jealousy issues again? Kurt hated it when Mitch got like that. Mitch was such a jerk sometimes when he was really jealous. Other than that...well, he was normally a perfect boyfriend.

"Oh?" Mitch replied quietly, quickly looking away from Kurt's gaze. "So...you two talked then?"

Kurt's heart fell a little bit. He had seen it in Mitch's eyes before Mitch had looked away – this look of annoyance and...hate? Why? Kurt wanted to be friends with Blaine again, but how was this going to work when Mitch would not support their friendship? "We did. I apologized for being such a jerk the past couple of times I saw him back in high school. I think every thing's going to be okay now. We can be friends again. Mitch...why do you hate him so much?"

"What?" Mitch gave Kurt a rather obviously feigned look of disbelief. "I don't hate him."

"Fine." Kurt huffed, turning a bit so he was lying on his back instead of cuddled up against Mitch. "So you don't hate him, but you don't like him either. I don't get what the issue is. He and I used to be good friends. We just both want that relationship back, not a romantic one. You don't need to keep getting all jealous over every guy I meet, Mitch. It's really starting to get old." Sure Blaine was attractive, but Kurt even thought Adam Lambert was attractive, that did not mean he wanted a relationship with the guy.

Mitch glared and sat up, folding his arms across his chest. "Who said I was jealous? Like I told that Sam guy, there's nothing to be jealous of."

"Why are you being so mean?" Kurt sat up as well, tears pooling in his eyes as he glared right back at his boyfriend.

"I'm not being mean." Mitch replied roughly. "I'm just worried. I mean, come on, you barely know him anymore."

"We were friends, Mitch. He's not going to hurt me."

"He's not the same Blaine you knew when you were six, Kurt!" Mitch yelled.

Kurt flinched, visibly shaking between being upset and being furious. "And that is why we are going to hang out." He spoke slowly, his voice cold. "So we can get to know one another now and I can get my best friend back."

"I thought I was your best friend." Mitch asked, hurt, his voice slightly lowered.

"You sure aren't acting like it." Kurt replied, sniffing. Mitch huffed and got off the bed, heading for the door. "Where are you going?" Kurt asked quietly.

"To hang out with Chris." Mitch replied stonily. "At least he won't ditch me for some guy he barely knows, trusting him right on the spot like it's perfectly normal-"

"Mitch you just don't get it!" Kurt shouted angrily.

"Get what, exactly?" Mitch glared at him again. "Get that you just want to up and be best friends again with a guy who is nothing like he was when he was six? People change Kurt. And what else don't I get? That look I saw on your face last night on stage, after your performance, when you glanced over at Blaine?"

Kurt was confused. "What are you talking about, Mitch?"

"That look, Kurt!" Mitch yelled, looking quite upset. "Maybe you're just too oblivious, still stuck in your sense of relief that you and Blaine can become friends again, but I could see it in how you looked at him, and how he was looking at you too. I don't want to lose you, Kurt, and I can give you way more than Blaine ever could." And with that he tore open the bedroom door and stormed out, slamming it behind him.

Kurt sat in shocked, confused silence. Only a few moments later he heard the apartment door open and slam shut as well. Mitch was gone. That was when Kurt finally let the tears start to fall. He hated fighting with Mitch. Things should not be like this.

He had to get out. Go do something. Plus...he knew Mitch going over to Chris' would not last long. Mitch would be back within an hour or so and Kurt honestly did not want to be around him at the moment. Wiping the tears from his eyes, Kurt got out of bed and went to his closet, figuring he would get ready then get coffee or something, maybe do a little shopping. Shopping always made him feel better.

Opening the closet door the first thing he saw was Blaine's scarf hanging up on a small hook. With trembling fingers, Kurt reached out and yanked the scarf off the hook, clutching it tightly to his chest as tears began to flow again.

This was not right. He loved Mitch. When he was upset he always wanted Mitch to comfort him, even after they had fought – they always found a way to make things right again. So why was it that the only person Kurt wanted right now to cheer him up was Blaine?

*~**~*~*~**~*~*~~*~*~*~

It was a little bit after one and Kurt, who had been at the coffee shop since around twelve noon, was feeling a little bit more relaxed now that he had coffee and was out of the apartment. He still felt an overwhelming desire to just curl up on the couch, eating ice cream and watching whatever interesting television shows he could find to distract himself, but he also just really wanted to see Blaine.

His cell phone vibrated on the table top and he looked to see he had a new text message from Chris. Biting his lip, Kurt opened the text.

Yo things gonna b ok btween u & Mitch? Hes pissed.

Kurt rolled his eyes at Chris' terrible text spelling and replied, glancing up briefly to see if Blaine had walked in yet. Nope. Not yet.

We fought, but we usually work things out.

Usually but this is really bugging him.

Don't worry about it. Is he still with you?

Nah left ages ago. Said he wuz gonna just go walk. I pissed him off 2. Oops.

Kurt sighed. Great, how did Chris piss Mitch off too? Ah well, he would ask about that later when he talked to Mitch. He would just let Mitch cool off for a bit and then they would try and work things out in a hopefully calm manner. Thanks.

Dont mention it.

"That scarf looks pretty good on you."

Kurt looked up in surprise, his face flushing slightly at the compliment. "Blaine!"

Blaine smiled brightly, sitting down on the chair across from Kurt's. "Hey, sorry I'm late. Abby called and I had to take a few minutes to talk to her."

"It's alright." Kurt smiled. He had needed the short time alone anyway. "How's Abby doing?"

"Good. She's been working really hard lately. I keep telling her she needs to take a little vacation or something." Blaine chuckled. "I think Nick's been trying to convince her they should go on a little trip for a week or so."

"Oh, are they together?" Kurt asked curiously.

"Yeah. For a long time now." Blaine replied, sounding quite happy for his friends. "Things were a little strained after Abby was in the hospital for a bit, but Nick has been really supportive of her. You don't know this – because Nick would kill me if I told anyone – but he's been planning on a way to ask her to marry him."

"Hospital? What happened?" Kurt questioned. His eyes lit up at the mention of Nick's intended proposal. "Oh my god, weddings! If every thing goes well and they do get married tell them to call me if they need any help with the planning. I planned my dad's second wedding all by myself and everyone loved it." Kurt grinned, looking quite proud of his self.

"That's amazing." Blaine laughed. "I'll definitely keep that in mind. And about Abby and the hospital..." He sighed, "She got beat up when she saw a gay couple in trouble from a couple of homophobes. She tried to defend them and got hurt in the process."

"Oh my god." Kurt's eyes teared up a little as he watched Blaine with a shocked expression. "That's terrible!"

Blaine nodded, looking down at the table top. "The gay couple was okay, despite a few bruises and cuts, the guys who were harassing them were arrested...but Abby was pretty bad off. Her leg was broken too and now she's stuck with this limp for the rest of her life. She wanted to be a model, you know, and walk runways and stuff. Now she can't. She has her art stuff and pottery making, but I can tell she's still really upset about not being able to model."

Kurt sat silently for a few seconds, looking thoughtful. Finally he sighed softly and reached across the table, resting his hand on top of Blaine's lightly. "I'm sorry that happened to her. I'm just glad things...didn't end up worse. I don't know her too well, but I can tell she's a really great friend and you would be lost without her."

"I would be." Blaine chuckled softly, nodding, smiling a tiny bit at Kurt's hand on top of his. They were both silent for a short bit, each lost in thought. It was a comfortable silence though and Blaine liked that. It was almost strange how, even though they had not been friends for so long, they could easily – after Kurt had apologized after the concert and they had become friends again – settle in to easy conversation and just feel right around one another. He had been worried that if they settled into any sort of silence it would be slightly awkward.

After a moment, Kurt broke the silence by pulling his hand back and reaching down for his bag he had set by the table on the floor. "Oh, I brought you something." He smiled and pulled a scarf out of his bag, holding it up so Blaine could see. It was a deep red color, soft and slightly fuzzy. "I told you I'd bring you one of mine..." He stood up and went around the table to slowly wrap the scarf around Blaine's neck.

Blaine had watched curiously as Kurt reached down to get whatever he had brought for him. He had forgotten that Kurt had said he would bring Blaine a scarf of his own. The scarf was a gorgeous red color and looked quite warm. He was slightly surprised though when Kurt actually stood and came around the table to slowly and gently wrap the scarf around his neck. His heart rate increased and words seemed to have left him; all he could do was sit there and gaze up at Kurt, silently watching. There was a warm, caring expression on Kurt's face and for a moment Blaine felt like he just wanted to reach out and pull Kurt close for a hug, but he didn't because he was pretty sure Kurt would think he was weird. They were friends after all, but too much physical touching might be misinterpreted in the wrong way and Blaine did not want to give off the wrong message.

Kurt finished fixing the scarf around Blaine's neck then dropped his arms to admire how well the scarf looked on Blaine. "It's a good color for you."

"You think? Thank you, Kurt." Blaine smiled, still gazing up at his friend. Friend. God, he was so happy he and Kurt were friends again. The scarf smelled good, vanilla and jasmine. It smelled like Kurt. Blaine had remembered the smell from when he hugged Kurt the day before. "It smells like you...I like it." He admitted out loud before even realizing what he was saying.

Kurt's face flushed and he gave Blaine a tiny smile before going back to his own seat. "I was slightly worried about whether you'd like the smell or not...the jasmine scent can be a bit strong some times so you can barely smell the vanilla. Mitch really doesn't like the smell of jasmine," his expression fell for a brief moment before he managed to quickly put a small smile on his face, "but...it was my mom's favorite flower and it's mine too."

"I really like it." Blaine told him softly. He was definitely not going to comment about Mitch. So far he had figured the safest thing for him to do was to just not talk about Mitch as much as possible. He did not want Kurt to think he disliked Mitch – which he kind of did. That probably would not be good for their friendship. He was curious though as to why Kurt had frowned at the mention of Mitch's name. Kurt had sounded a little odd on the phone earlier. Maybe something happened between him and Mitch. Blaine doubted Kurt would want to talk about it though. "Can you...if you want, we have a lot of catching up to do; can you tell me about your parents? Er, your adoptive parents?"

"We do have a lot to catch up on." Kurt smiled lightly, sighing a bit. "How much time do you have to hang out and how much do you want to know?"

Blaine knew he needed to talk to Sam at some point, but other than that he had nothing to do that day. "I have all day. And I want to know everything." He chuckled, feeling his heart flutter a bit at the smile that shown on Kurt's face. Kurt's smile seemed to light up the entire coffee shop. Blaine wanted him to always smile like that.

They talked for several hours. Kurt told Blaine about the Hummels who had adopted him, about how he found out that Elizabeth and Karen had been sisters, about having to attend both his real mother's and adopted mother's funerals...Kurt told Blaine every thing he could and answered all of Blaine's questions. Blaine had been glad that Kurt had gotten to at least see his real mother again before she had passed away, and had gotten to learn that it was not because Elizabeth had not loved her son anymore that she left him at an orphanage. He could hardly contain his anger at hearing how Kurt had been bullied all through his school years until finally graduating and moving to New York – at the same time he was amazed that Kurt had been able to stay strong through pretty much all of it and not run away...like when he, himself, had left public school to go to Dalton. Kurt only touched lightly on his relationship with Mitch. Normally he would talk nonstop about his adoring boyfriend, but after their fight that morning he just was not feeling like talking about Mitch that much. He did admit that Mitch had been his first, his face reddening furiously as his eyes focused on the tabletop in front of him. He had not noticed the uncomfortable look Blaine had gotten on his face when Kurt had briefly stated how perfect it had been.

Blaine told Kurt about his own adoptive parents, the Andersons. He told him about how his parents had always been away a lot so Amelia had basically raised him. Telling Kurt about visiting Abby at the hospital, and playing music for all the kids, had both boys wondering yet again how incredible it was that there had been so many moments in their lives where they had been close to one another without even realizing it. Kurt's eyes had teared up when Blaine told him about how he had been beaten up and in the hospital for a while before transferring to Dalton. When he got to telling Kurt about how he had moved to New York with Nick after graduation to live with Sam, his voice faltered for a second and Kurt gave him a concerned look when he saw the sadness in Blaine's eyes. Not questioning it at the moment Kurt just let Blaine continue on with his talking. Blaine told him about the call he had gotten in the past year about his real parents, explaining how he had been glad to finally know their names at least, though not so happy to hear about how and why they had been murdered. There was an odd note to Blaine's voice as he told Kurt about that night that had Kurt wondering if there was something Blaine was not telling him. There was no sense in pushing for answers though, they were just getting to know each other again and Kurt did not want to seem pushy and intrusive. If it was something serious then maybe someday, when they became better friends, Blaine would tell him.

When Blaine was pretty much finished, Kurt could not help but ask Blaine a few things. "So...you've never had a boyfriend then?" He wondered out loud.

Blaine shook his head, gazing uncomfortably down at the table. He was toying with the bottom of the scarf Kurt had given him, playing with the frayed edges.

"I'm kind of surprised." Kurt replied, still unaware of Blaine's discomfort. "I mean...well, you are, er, attractive." He admitted, face reddening slightly. "I would think boys would be just dying to be with you. Er, is that too out of line for me to say?"

"Ah, no..." Blaine shrugged, his face slightly reddish as well. He could not believe Kurt had just said he was attractive. He thought he, himself, was okay looking, but Kurt...Kurt was just gorgeous. "And I have...er, well, not really...I mean, there have been guys who have expressed an interest but I..." He did not like talking about this sort of stuff. Well, he did – he loved romantic things and talking about stuff like that – but with what had just happened with Sam, and how dangerously close this conversation was getting to bringing up what had happened with Kevin...well, Blaine was quite uncomfortable at the moment.

"It's okay, Blaine." Kurt told him quietly. "You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to."

"Oh, thank you, and...sorry." Blaine replied, sighing. "And sorry my love life isn't nearly as interesting as yours." He chuckled weakly, hoping now they could move on to a different topic.

No such luck. Kurt smiled softly, shaking his head. "It's alright, honestly. And don't worry; I think I understand...you just want to wait, right? For someone who you really, really, like, trust, and feel comfortable with. And then you can have your first time and it will be perfect, something you'll remember for the rest of your life."

Blaine flinched, his heart dropping like a stone as he mentally told himself to just keep breathing slowly – to not let himself freak out and have a complete breakdown right there in the caf�. He did not like to think about what had happened with Kevin. Just the thought of how he had experienced his first time made him feel dirty and used. It was not a special moment, not a special anything and most especially not something he wanted to remember for the rest of his life. And Kurt was right – he had been waiting for the perfect someone to have his first time with, that was just how he was, but that had been taken from him.

Kurt finally seemed to notice Blaine's discomfort and could almost see a look of complete sadness in his friend's hazel eyes. "Blaine?" He leaned forward a bit over the table, reaching over to take Blaine's hand in his own, lacing their fingers together. The action had not even been given any thought; it had happened instinctively, Kurt knowing that it would give Blaine some comfort. "What's wrong? Did I say something I shouldn't have? Wait...did you, like, have a one night stand or something?"

"Kurt, please just...I don't want to talk about it." Blaine replied sternly, trying not to sound too upset. His gaze was fixed on Kurt's hand in his; drawing all the comfort he could out of their connection to one another.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry!" Kurt flailed with his free hand, panicking slightly. "I shouldn't have said anything. Okay...topic change." He flailed a bit more, biting his bottom lip as he thought of something else to talk about. Blaine could not help thinking how adorable Kurt looked while all flustered.

"Sam!" Kurt suddenly exclaimed.

Blaine almost looked around to see if his roommate was there from the way Kurt had shouted, but he realized that Kurt was still watching him and not looking anywhere else. "What about Sam?"

"Well...maybe you don't want to talk about this since obviously relationship stuff is kind of upsetting for you..." Kurt bit his lip again before continuing. "I was just wondering, because it seems like, from how you talk about him and all, you like him."

"What?" Now it was Blaine's turn to flail his free hand. "How did you...well, I mean, I guess if you heard it in my voice...I – yes, I do." His face reddened and he sighed. "But I kind of don't want to talk about that either."

"Why not?" Kurt asked curiously. "I mean, you two already live together...oh, but I guess that would be awkward for you guys then if you broke up or something like that."

"It's not just that..." Blaine frowned, "I'm leaving at the end of the school year, for Ohio, and I guess neither of us are too sure we can make a long distance relationship work, considering it would probably not just be a temporary long distance relationship."

Kurt tilted his head slightly in confusion. "Wait, you're moving back to Ohio? Why?"

"I actually was trying to figure out how to tell you that..." Blaine looked up at him and squeezed his hand gently. "I've got a job lined up for me for after graduation. I'll finish my last year of schooling in Ohio and student teach – until I graduate and become the music teacher – for the orphanage you and I both lived at."

"Oh my-" Kurt's eyes widened a bit, "Are you serious?" Blaine nodded, smiling slightly. "Wow...I can't believe it. I'll definitely have to come visit you because I kind of want to see the place again."

"I've heard it has really changed a lot." Blaine replied.

"But Sam's not going to go with you back to Ohio..." Kurt commented quietly.

Blaine shook his head, feeling terribly sad. "No, he isn't. And we both know we have feelings for one another...we just don't want to go the entire rest of this school year together knowing then that we'll be living in separate states having different jobs and will probably hardly ever get to see each other again. He doesn't want to leave here because he loves it here and he loves his job...and as much as I dislike being in Ohio, I just really want this job. I want to give back to the place that helped raise and take care of me. I want to help give all the kids there something special – music."

"Oh, Blaine..." Kurt felt terribly sad for his friend. It was obvious Blaine liked Sam. From what Blaine had told him, Sam seemed like a really great guy too. They both deserved to be happy. "I think...I think you guys should go for it." Actually saying that out loud though sent a weird twinge through his heart. He ignored it.

"What?" Blaine looked at Kurt in surprise. "Why? We'll just have to split up at the end of the school year because of the long distance."

"Maybe...but maybe not." Kurt replied. "You never know what could happen, Blaine. I mean, how do you know that a year from now Sam will still have the same job, or you could find yourself unhappy with where you are at. Things change. Mitch and I made it after almost an entire year apart while I was in France, granted a few bumps in the road here and there, so it is possible. I just...you really like him, I can tell, and you deserve to be happy. Sam seems like a great guy too and he should be able to be happy as well. I bet if you two really liked each other enough then you would be able to make things work out somehow."

Blaine tried to see Kurt's reasoning, but he was still so afraid that he and Sam would end up just hurting themselves if they tried to make a relationship work by this point. "I wish things were easier..."

"Well, they're not always going to be." Kurt sighed, knowing too well that fights could come from even the simplest things in a relationship. Relationships were not always just sunshine and rainbows; there were rainy days and tornadoes as well.

Blaine sighed, letting his head fall forward till his forehead rested against the table top. "I know...but, still. And now I don't even know how to talk to him about all this because our conversation last night did not go well and I –I kissed him." He groaned miserably. "I kissed him and it was his first kiss and he was so upset afterward. I heard him crying in his room. I messed up."

Kurt did not really know what to say at first. He was not the best when it came to relationship advice, but he wanted to make Blaine feel better some how. "You can fix this, Blaine. I know you can." He smiled softly when Blaine lifted his head to look up at him with this miserable, sad puppy look on his face. Reaching over he gently brushed a few stray curls away from Blaine's eyes. "When you get home today try talking to him. Tell him how much you want to make things work between the two of you, how much you are willing to try. Have some courage! Do you want a little 'courage' note of your own to hold on to?"

"I...I will do that, but hopefully, at the very least, if we end up just sticking with our decision to not have a relationship we'll still be able to figure out a way to live together until the end of the school year. I don't want to leave him until I absolutely have to." Blaine chuckled weakly. "I love that you still have that second note. Can I ask what happened to the first one?"

Kurt bit his lip, giving Blaine a guilty look. "I'm sorry. I was just...really upset and angry after seeing you at Sectionals and over how I had acted. At the time I just decided that it was for the best if I forgot about you and left the past in the past. So I threw it out..." he trailed off quietly.

"Oh." Blaine nodded in slight understanding.

"I really regretted it later." Kurt told him sadly.

"Well...I'm glad you kept the second one." Blaine smiled at him, reaching out to touch his hand again.

They continued to talk for a bit longer until they realized it had gotten quite late. It was almost nine o'clock.

"Will you call me sometime soon so we can hang out again?" Blaine asked as they were standing and getting their coats on.

Kurt nodded in reply, stepping closer to adjust the scarf he had given Blaine. "Of course. And I want to meet Sam too!"

"Oh, most definitely!" Blaine laughed. "I'm sure Sam would love to meet you too. Goodness knows I've talked about you enough." Blaine had stood still as Kurt fixed his scarf, and afterward he wrapped his arms around Kurt, giving him a big hug.

Kurt's face went red. "You do- er, have?" He did not know why it made him feel so happy knowing that Blaine had talked about him so much. When Blaine hugged him he found himself relaxing against Blaine, not the least bit upset over the fact that they stood there hugging probably a bit longer than they needed to as two people who were just friends.

"Yes." Blaine chuckled, shrugging slightly. "I was always wondering about you. To be honest...I still have a small box of pictures and art projects you made for me when we were at the orphanage together. You should see how much glitter is all over that box."

"Oh my god." Kurt laughed, looking absolutely embarrassed. "I can't believe you still have all that stuff! As mortified as I am...I'm also kind of curious to see some of those things again."

"I'll show you sometime." Blaine grinned.

They finally let go of one another, realizing it had probably been a long enough hug already, and then Blaine checked the time again. "Oh goodness it's late. I still need to talk to Sam." He was probably going to walk for a bit before finally going back to the apartment to talk to Sam. He needed to think every thing through and make sure this was really the right decision he was making.

Kurt nodded in agreement, sighing silently to himself. He still needed to talk to Mitch too. "Oh! Before I forget..." he pulled his cell phone out and handed it to Blaine, "can I have Abby's number?"

"Abby?" Blaine tilted his head in confusion. "Why?" He was already putting the number into Kurt's contacts though as he waited for a reply.

"I really want to talk to her." Kurt replied quietly. "I owe her a really big thanks for something she did for me so many years ago on a certain day at the mall." Plus he had had an idea. A chance he was pretty sure Abby would not want to pass up.

Blaine nodded as he finished typing Abby's information in and then handed the phone back to Kurt.

*~*~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~*

Sam had been awake when he heard Blaine moving about the apartment. He did not move from his bed, opting to just wait until Blaine left. There was no way he could see his friend just yet. He had no idea what he would say.

Once he heard the apartment door shutting he finally managed to push himself up to a seated position. His entire body felt tired, his eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and his heart felt heavy. There was a terrible ache in his chest and he felt like he was going to start crying again any second.

He should not have let Blaine kiss him. God knew how much he had been wanting to kiss his best friend and, heck, when it had happened it had felt like everything he had wanted it to be – perfect – but knowing that they could not be together just ruined the entire moment, his first kiss. It hurt him all the more, but he did not regret Blaine being his first kiss. Not at all. Now all he wanted was for Blaine to kiss him again.

His cell phone started buzzing against the top of his night stand and he jumped, startled out of his thoughts. Reaching over to grab it he saw he had a new text message from one of his work friends. After replying to the message he saw that he had two more missed texts. They were both from Chris and had been sent a bit earlier in the morning before he had woken up. Rolling his eyes, Sam opened the first text.

Plz just get lunch with me 2day?

Then he checked the second one.

Not a date I promise.

Sam sighed, shaking his head. He was in no mood to go out and be amongst other people right now, especially someone who was being so obviously flirty. Chris was not the person Sam wanted to be flirty with. He wanted Blaine. He loved Blaine.

He did not reply to Chris' texts. Instead he tossed his phone to the side and dragged his self out of bed. A shower and then a movie marathon was what he needed today. Hopefully Blaine would be out for a while. It would give him some time to think about what he would say to him when he got back.

After his shower, Sam went into the kitchen and cooked something simple before going into the living room to start his movie marathon.

**~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mitch had stormed off out of the apartment...but then had immediately felt bad. He always felt bad when he and Kurt fought.

As much as he wanted to go right back in and work things out with Kurt though, he also was still quite ticked off. And it was hardly Kurt's fault. Well, maybe on some level – in Mitch's eyes – but mainly it was just Blaine's fault. That Blaine fellow should just back off and leave Kurt alone. He was ruining everything by trying to be Kurt's friend again.

If Blaine just thought he could come right on back and be Kurt's best friend again, well, Mitch was not going to allow it. Mitch hated it when other people tried to get in between himself and Kurt. He loved Kurt and wanted to be the only one Kurt needed to take care of him and protect him. Kurt did not need Blaine.

Mitch huffed angrily and headed off for Chris' apartment. Once there he took a deep breath and then knocked on the door, hoping Chris would not mind him showing up to rant so early in the morning. Well, it was not too early, but he knew Chris liked to sleep in on his days off.

The door swung open and Chris appeared looking quite cheerful. "Helloooo- oh, Mitch! You look pissed, man." He stepped back and let Mitch walk in before shutting the door. "What is up?"

Mitch wondered if Chris had been expecting anyone by how cheerful he had been. Ah well. "We fought."

"We?" Chris slipped into the kitchen and returned with two cokes, handing one to Mitch. "I'm assuming by 'we' you mean you and Kurt. Again, bro? Sheesh." He shook his head disapprovingly. "What happened this time?"

"It's that Blaine guy's fault." Mitch glared just thinking about Kurt's old friend. "Why does he have to just show up again and think he can be Kurt's best friend like they haven't been apart for so many years?"

Chris sighed. He really liked being Mitch's friend, but some times he just wanted to smack him upside the head and tell him what an idiot he was. Mitch always seemed to have this huge jealousy issue and Chris knew how much it bothered Kurt. Kurt had talked to him about it before after all. It had taken quite a while for Mitch to even get it into his head that Chris himself had no intentions of going after Kurt. Thank goodness he did not have to deal with that anymore. "I'm sure that isn't really his intention...well, I mean, he does probably want to be Kurt's friend again, but not actually steal Kurt from you. Besides, Kurt really loves you, Mitch. I just don't think you should be worrying about this so much." He was probably going to make Mitch mad saying stuff like that, but at the same time he knew he had a point.

"Ugh, why do you have to side with him?" Mitch asked, sounding quite annoyed. "This is lame. Can we just...go do something? I don't want to go back home yet."

"Er...actually, I was planning on bugging Sam today to go for lunch with me." Chris replied quietly. "I know I'm not normally the 'lets go on dates and get to know each other' type of guy, but that Sam guy is attractive and seems kind of nice. Maybe it's about time I actually try to get a boyfriend instead of just a string of one night stands."

"Unbelievable." Mitch scoffed, almost sounding slightly bitter. "Fine. I'm just going to go walk by myself." He turned and walked out of the apartment, slamming the door forcefully behind him.

Chris just stood there looking slightly confused.

*~*~*~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~

After leaving the caf�, Kurt took his time heading home. He was not looking forward to talking to Mitch, because he was sure there would be a bit more arguing and he hated to fight. And he was tired. He just wanted them to work things out like they normally did. Maybe if Mitch got to know Blaine too then he would not dislike him so much. It made sense to Kurt. He would probably suggest it.

While walking back to the apartment he called Abby. After hearing Blaine mention her situation, Kurt had had an idea.

"Hello?" A girl's voice answered the phone and Kurt recognized it immediately, which was kind of surprising considering he had not heard her voice in ages.

"Abby? It's Kurt...er, Kurt Hummel."

"Kurt? As in...Blaine's old friend Kurt?" Abby sounded quite surprised. "How'd you get my number?"

"Yes, it's the same Kurt." Kurt smiled. "Blaine gave me your number."

"Whaaaaat? He did? How?" Abby sounded like she was both confused and delighted at the same time.

Kurt paused at a crosswalk, waiting for the sign to show it was okay to walk, as he continued the conversation. "He substituted for the pianist at my choir's holiday concert last night and we talked. We're friends again and we spent today catching up."

"Oh my god, that is great!" Abby squealed loudly. "You have no idea how badly I've wanted you two to become friends again. That last time I saw you at the mall...I was pretty sure it would never happen, but I refused to give up hope."

"Well, that's something I wanted to talk to you about." Kurt informed her as he walked down the sidewalk of another street. Gaga, it was cold out. Thank goodness he had worn Blaine's scarf. It really helped keep him warm...and it still smelled of Blaine too. "I owe you a big thanks."

"Me?" Abby asked. "Why?"

"You had Blaine give me a second courage note. I've kept it with me ever since and it helped remind me of Blaine a lot...even when I didn't want to think about him. When I finally realized I wanted nothing more than to be his friend again I started keeping the note on me every single day. It's helped me through so much. I feel like I owe it all to you, really."

"Oh...well, you're welcome. I just...I knew that if not right away then some day it would help you realize what a mistake you were making for not trying to be Blaine's friend again. Honestly I was just trying to help him more...he's my best friend and I'd do anything for him."

"I totally understand." Kurt nodded. "There's...there's something I want to do for you in return." He kind of wished he was actually talking to Abby in person right now instead of on the phone. He really wanted to see her reaction to what he was about to ask of her.

"You don't have to do anything for me, Kurt." Abby giggled. "Just seeing Blaine happy, knowing he has you for a friend again, that is enough for me."

Abby really was a great friend, Kurt thought. "Well...I want to do this for you anyway, just because I know it will make you happy too."

"Okay..." Abby replied softly, trailing off to leave an opening for Kurt to continue.

"One of my biggest dreams, besides singing on Broadway, is to work in the fashion business and have my own clothing line. I've been nonstop designing since I moved here when I started college. I've had my internship going for me and I graduate at the end of this school year. That's when I really want to show off the designs I have to start my line off with...and I want to do a photo shoot to help with that. My friend, Chris, is studying photography as a minor and he said he would help out. I want a good model for the photo shoot though...which is where you come in; if you would like. Blaine told me about your dream to be a model and about your limp, but I wouldn't need you to do too much walking for a photo shoot."

Abby was silent for a second before finally speaking. "Um...oh my god, Kurt. Are you being serious?"

"Absolutely serious." Kurt replied sincerely.

"But, Kurt...there are probably a bazillion more talented models out there." Abby protested. "I mean, you have no idea how much I would love love LOVE to do this, but are you sure you want me?"

"Abby, I know people change over time and I haven't seen you in ages, but from what I remember, you are absolutely gorgeous and I bet you will be great at modeling for me." Kurt told her. "And if you really like doing this then I could totally use you for in the future as well. I mean...you don't have to answer right away, you can take time to think about it, but please do actually think about it-"

"I'll do it!" Abby practically shrieked in happiness. Kurt winced and held the phone away from his ear for a second. "This is, like, one of the best days ever! I swear I won't let you down, Kurt."

Kurt grinned as he listened to Abby's joyful giggles on the phone. He had finally reached his building and had decided to take the stairs up since it took longer. "You'll be great! I'll let you know once we get closer to the end of the school year about the photo shoot details. I'm going to need your measurements before that though so I can get the clothing ready. Can we meet up some time next week? I can give you my address."

"Next week will work, definitely." Abby replied happily.

Kurt gave her his address and they spoke a bit more before Kurt finally reached his floor. When he hung up he stood outside his and Mitch's apartment for a short moment, slightly nervous to go inside. It was late and Mitch would probably be wondering where he had been. Well, he was not going to lie to him about anything. Kurt unlocked the door and went in.

*~**~*~*~*~*~**~**

It was almost ten pm and Blaine still was not back. Sam would be lying if he said he was not starting to get even just a little bit worried. He always worried about Blaine, no matter what. It was just how he was – he worried a lot about the people he loved. Yes, he definitely loved Blaine. That was all there was to it. Without him realizing it his feelings had grown to something more.

Pausing the current movie he was watching, Sam got up and went into the kitchen to get a drink. There was beer in the fridge – mainly for when they had friends around - and as tempting as the idea was to just drink until he forgot everything and passed out was, well, he had never really liked drinking and he also did not want Blaine to come home and see him like that. So he got water instead.

He was standing at the sink when he heard the apartment door open and close. His body froze, his heart starting to race, and he could not bring himself to turn around.

"Sam?" He heard Blaine quietly calling out for him and his eyes welled up with tears. I can't do this. Why had things gotten so darn complicated?

During his movie marathon Sam had done a lot of thinking about their situation. They still had till the end of the school year before Blaine left for Ohio and Sam did not want Blaine to move out before then. They had to be able to put the awkwardness of this behind them for the remaining time they had left together, because Sam did not want to lose his best friend. So he had decided they would sit and talk things out and hopefully figure out a way to move past any awkwardness. And Sam would just have to convince himself to find a way to get over Blaine and hope that some day in the future he would find someone else who could heal his broken heart. Every thing would be easier this way...hopefully.

"Sam?" Blaine spoke again, but this time he sounded closer. He was in the kitchen now and Sam still could not bring himself to turn around. Just hearing Blaine's voice had his heart aching.

"I'm sorry..." Sam managed to choke out, his voice barely above a whisper. He set his glass of water in the sink and took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to turn around and face Blaine. His best friend, the man he loved but could never have.

A hand reached out and rested on his shoulder, causing him to tense up. He heard Blaine sigh softly and then the hand on his shoulder was tugging on him, forcing him to turn around and meet Blaine's gaze.

"Don't apologize, Sam." Blaine told him. Then he moved closer and tilted his face up to press his lips against Sam's.

Sam froze in shock, unable to respond at first. Blaine was kissing him. Again. He felt Blaine's hands on his waist, pushing him slightly back against the counter. This should not have been happening, but Sam was unable to resist. Even though he knew it was not a good idea, he wanted to kiss Blaine so badly he could not bring himself to push him away. He closed his eyes and rested his hands on Blaine's chest, feeling his best friend's heart racing under the palm of his hand, letting himself give in to the kiss. Blaine pressed closer against him, causing him to be trapped between Blaine and the counter. Not that he minded. The voice in his head, telling him to stop now while he still had the chance, was slowly starting to be pushed to the side, until Blaine's tongue ran lightly along his bottom lip and a small whimper escaped his mouth. That was when reality came crashing back down to him and he managed to break the kiss, pushing Blaine away from him.

"Please stop. Don't do this to me, Blaine...we can't." He had to find a way to move pass this, his feelings for Blaine included.

"I don't care." Blaine replied fiercely, reaching out to cup Sam's face in his hands. "Sam, I really like you and I'm not wasting this chance for us to be happy together. I know things will be difficult when we get to the end of the year, but we'll find a way to make it work. We will."

He was watching Sam with a strong caring expression. Sam had not realized he was crying until he felt Blaine's thumb wiping a few tears away. His legs had gone weak and he suddenly felt like he could not stand so he just sunk to the floor, leaning back against the counter as he buried his face in his hands and sobbed. Blaine sunk down to the floor and tugged at him, pulling him over to sit in between his legs. Sam curled up sideways and leaned against Blaine's chest, his hand clutching at Blaine's jacket as he tried to calm himself down.

Blaine smelled different. Or maybe it was not Blaine that smelled different...it was the scarf he was wearing. It smelled of vanilla and some type of flower. Not really a scent Blaine normally wore. "You smell different." He commented quietly. The scarf was kind of unrecognizable as well. When had Blaine gotten that?

"Oh..." Blaine replied, his arms wrapped around Sam's body, holding him close, "I saw Kurt today...he gave me it."

Oh...so it was Kurt he smelled. Sam would never want to admit it out loud, but he was jealous of Kurt. There was no reason for him to be, right? After all...Blaine was here with him. Blaine wanted to be with him...not Kurt.

"Do you really want to be with me?" Sam asked quietly, his grip tightening on Blaine's jacket. "I don't want to be...thrown aside or end up broken hearted, Blaine. If you really think we can make this work after the end of the year...I want to try. I want to try so badly, because I don't want to lose you."

Blaine nodded and kissed his forehead. "I do want to be with you, Sam. And I will do every thing I can to make sure things work out after the end of the year." Sam looked up at him and he kissed Sam on the lips softly again. "I'm not going to ever just toss you aside. There's no one else I want to be with, Sam, only you." An image of Kurt smiling at him appeared in his mind, but Blaine pushed it aside. There was no way he had feelings for Kurt. All they would ever be was friends and that was all Blaine wanted. Sam had nothing to worry about.

"This is...a dream, or something." Sam laughed softly, wiping any last remaining tears from his face. His heart was still racing and he could hardly believe this was actually happening. Well, in a way he could, but at the same time he still had this dreadful feeling that the end of the year would come around and they would realize that it really just was not going to work out. That thought terrified him but he was going to just ignore it for now. Being with Blaine would make him happy and he was not going to give up the chance to be happy.

Blaine laughed, shaking his head and resting his forehead against Sam's. "It's very, very real."

Sam pressed his lips to Blaine's again; glad that he could finally do that whenever he wanted to. He turned slightly, one of his hands moving up to tangle in Blaine's curls as he deepened the kiss. Blaine responded eagerly, his tongue tracing Sam's bottom lip lightly until Sam parted his lips allowing Blaine's tongue entrance into his mouth.

This time there was no pulling away once things started to feel a bit more intense. Sam shifted so he was kneeling on the kitchen floor in between Blaine's legs, tilting his head down as he continued to kiss Blaine. He felt Blaine's hands drift down his back to his waist, fingers slowly edging up under his shirt to trail softly against his skin. The contact sent shivers down his spine...and convinced him even more that this – what was happening between them currently – was most definitely not a dream.

"Blaine..." Sam sighed, mumbling against Blaine's lips. Blaine pulled his head back a tiny bit so he could look up at Sam questioningly. "I want..." His face reddened. He had never asked for something like this before – had no experience to begin with anyway, which made it harder – but that was not the only reason he was hesitant to ask. Blaine had had only one experience before, but it had not exactly been the best. What if he wanted nothing to do with sexual things because it would bring up memories of that awful night with stupid, awful Kevin?

Blaine understood what he was asking for and reached up to pull his face back down to kiss him again. "Me too."

Sam's eyes opened and he gave Blaine a wide-eyed, nervous look. "Are you- are you sure? I mean, I thought...after what happened with Kevin..."

"You said it yourself, Sam." Blaine replied gently, keeping his gaze fixed on Sam's. "That night with Kevin meant nothing to me – I can't even remember half of it, especially the sex – this night with you will be perfect and meaningful...for the both of us, something we'll want to remember for a very long time."

"Okay." Sam nodded, smiling softly down at Blaine. "But...I've never...you know. So, I, er, don't..." It was embarrassing to talk about, but he knew Blaine would understand.

Blaine smiled, nodding in understanding. "It's okay, Sammy. We'll take things slow. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with anything and if...if you decide you're not ready then you have to promise you'll tell me, because I will stop. Okay?"

"You're perfect." Sam replied, feeling a bit less nervous than he had been. "Can you kiss me now?"

Blaine chuckled but nodded and proceeded to kiss Sam again. "However...we're not doing this here on the kitchen floor, so up we get and off to your bedroom."

"Oh? And why my bedroom?" Sam laughed, giving him a questioning look.

"Because mine is a wreck and you'll be too busy focusing on the thought of wanting to clean my room to enjoy me even just kissing you." Blaine replied simply. Sam smacked him on the arm playfully and then stood, reaching down to help Blaine up as well. They turned the light off in the kitchen then headed for Sam's room.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As Kurt turned to lock the door behind him he suddenly felt strong, familiar arms wrap around his waist. "It's so late, baby. I was worried about you."

"I'm sorry." Kurt replied in a whisper. He felt Mitch's lips on his neck and his head automatically tilted to the side a bit as he leaned back into his boyfriend's embrace. He knew they needed to talk about that morning, but he really just loved it when Mitch held him. They would be able to talk through their morning's fight and then things would be alright again. Kurt just knew it. "I didn't mean to make you worry."

"It's okay." Mitch told him softly. "I made dinner. We'll have to heat it up, but it's your favorite..."

Kurt turned in Mitch's arms, gazing up at him in surprise. "You made pasta without burning the apartment complex down?"

Mitch chuckled, kissing Kurt's forehead. "Yes. I can cook when I try, you know." He took a step back, taking Kurt's hands in his own, leading him towards the kitchen. "I even used that pasta sauce you love so much."

"You hate that stuff!" Kurt shook his head, not sure what to think. Was Mitch trying to apologize for the fight that morning? This was how things tended to go. They would fight then Mitch would do something nice to get Kurt to forgive him – even if it probably should have been Kurt apologizing sometimes – and then it usually led to the bedroom and they never talked things through. It was probably not the best way to handle their fights, but they had always done things that way and now it was a never ending cycle. Not this time though. Kurt knew that this was something they had to talk about, because Blaine was not going anywhere this time. Kurt was determined to keep their friendship together.

"Well...hate is such a strong word. I wouldn't say I hate it...just dislike it." Mitch wrinkled his nose. "It tastes funny, but I know you prefer it and it makes you smile. I just love seeing you smile." He kissed Kurt's cheek then went over to get the pasta out of the fridge.

As he went about heating it up, Kurt went over and leaned against the sink, watching him. He wanted to ask Mitch if then maybe he did not hate Blaine...just disliked him, but it would probably come out sarcastic sounding and then they might argue again. Kurt wanted to try and work things out in a somewhat pleasant manner.

"Here we go..." Mitch set their food on the table and pulled Kurt's chair out for him. They were silent for a few seconds as they started to eat, a tense feeling starting to settle in. Finally Mitch spoke up again quietly. "Do you like it?"

Kurt nodded, smiling. "It's perfect. I'm impressed, Mitch."

"I'm glad you like it." Mitch grinned.

They ate in silence for a few more minutes before Kurt spoke. "So you know how I want to do that photo shoot for my designs presentation to Miss Eliza after I graduate? I found a model." This was nearing the topic of their fight, leading up to it without just delving right in.

"Oh, really?" Mitch looked up with interest. "Who?"

Kurt set his fork down. "Her name's Abby James. I've seen and talked to her before...you've seen her too."

"I have?" Mitch tilted his head slightly in confusion, trying to remember meeting any Abby's. "How do we know her?"

"She's Blaine's friend." Kurt replied quietly. "You saw her at the mall the summer after our senior year."

Mitch was silent for a few seconds, a contemplative look upon his face. "She was pretty..." He set his own fork down and pushed his plate away, reaching out for Kurt's hand. "Kurt, come here." He tugged on Kurt's hand and pulled him around the table. Kurt sat on Mitch's lap with his legs dangling to the side as he leaned against Mitch's chest. A small smile spread across his face as Mitch wrapped his arms around him, one hand rubbing his back gently. "I'm so sorry about how I behaved this morning. I shouldn't have said the things I did. You went and talked to him today didn't you?"

"I did." Kurt nodded slightly, toying with the edge of Mitch's shirt sleeve. "He was perfectly nice and we just caught up on, well, pretty much every thing. I even gave him relationship advice cause he totally has this thing for his roommate."

"Well that'll definitely make Sam happy." Mitch chuckled. "I could tell he liked Blaine too. I should apologize to Blaine for being so rude to him. He didn't deserve that. I guess I just don't understand the friendship you two had all those years ago and it just seemed like...I don't know, like there was this deeper connection between you two. It scared me a little."

Kurt sighed, resting his forehead against his boyfriend's. "You were jealous again, weren't you?"

"I'm sorry, Kurt." Mitch bit his lip, his gaze fixed on Kurt's.

"It's..." Kurt almost said it was okay, but then he realized that was what he had been saying for years and he could not do it anymore. This had to be something Mitch needed to fix. They could not keep fighting all the time just because Mitch was jealous. "Look, I forgive you, Mitch. You know that. How could I not? I love you so much. But this jealousy thing needs to stop. I don't know how, but we have to find some way to break this. I have always been, and always will be, faithful to you; I've never, on purpose, given you reason to believe otherwise. There's no reason to get jealous whatsoever. So I've decided that..." he took a deep breath, knowing that this was not easy to say but needed to be said nonetheless, "I've decided that this is the last time. It's the last time I'm just going to forgive you and let it slide."

"What?" Mitch's eyes widened slightly and he looked somewhat stuck between feeling hurt and being confused.

This conversation hurt and it was upsetting Kurt greatly, but he was not going to back down. "We fight way too often, Mitch. Between that and your jealousy problems – which you have constantly promised you would fix – well, it's not conducive to a healthy relationship. It's stressful and neither of us need anymore stress in our lives right now. So you need to fix this issue or the next time...I don't think I'll be able to stick around anymore."

Mitch was silent, gauging Kurt's expression to see how serious he was. Kurt was extremely serious though. He was hardly one to just say something for the heck of it anymore. He tried to choose his words carefully, because generally he meant them. "God, I don't want to lose you, Kurt." Mitch hugged Kurt close, burying his face against Kurt's shoulder. "I really keep screwing up. Not anymore, I swear. I'd sooner die than not have you in my life."

"No talk about dying." Kurt pouted, pressing a light kiss to the top of Mitch's head. "I don't want to lose you either, and you know I'm willing to help you in any way I can. This doesn't mean I'm just going to stop having other guy friends who just happen to be gay as well. Will you come with me the next time I see Blaine so you can apologize? I know he'll forgive you; he's very nice like that." He could not speak so much for Sam, but he just knew Blaine was a forgiving person.

"I will." Mitch nodded in agreement. "And maybe I can get him to tell me any stories he can remember of six year old Kurt."

"Oh, no way!" Kurt giggled, his face reddening as he smacked Mitch's arm playfully. "That would be way too embarrassing." He was glad they had managed to talk things out for the most part. It seemed like they would be okay, and somehow hopefully Mitch and Blaine might become friends. "Do you want to have a movie night?"

Mitch nodded, grinning as he looped one arm under Kurt's legs and the other tightly around his waist, before standing and holding Kurt as he went into the living room. Kurt squeaked and batted at Mitch's chest. "Put me dowwwn!" He pretended to be angry but he was giggling too much that it did not work one bit.

"Nope!" Mitch laughed. "What movie shall we watch?"

"I don't know...surprise me!" Kurt laughed. "But put me down first. Please?" He squeaked when Mitch dumped him on the couch and he playfully kicked after him as he went over to grab a movie.

As he waited he heard his cell phone go off in his coat pocket. Hopping up off the couch, Kurt went over to where he left his coat hanging by the door and grabbed his phone. As he made his way back to flop onto the couch he saw he had a new text message from Blaine.

I talked to Sam. We're gonna try and make things work. Thank you, Kurt. : )

Kurt smiled, happy for his friend even despite the weird twinge in his heart. You're welcome. He sent back before turning his phone to silent and setting it aside so he could focus on Mitch and the movie.

"Looks like when we see Blaine we'll have to ask him to bring his new boyfriend along." Kurt spoke as Mitch came to join him on the couch.

"Oh?" Mitch curled up on the couch, pulling Kurt close against him to snuggle. "Did he finally talk to Sam?" How unfortunate for Chris.

"Yep." Kurt replied, deciding he would just keep out for now all the other details Blaine had told him when it came to his and Sam's relationship. He would tell him later. "So what movie are we watching?"

"I don't know." Mitch replied, sounding more cheerful than he had all night. "I just closed my eyes and picked one at random."


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