Paul Karofsky could hear the shower running as he hiked up the stairs at the end of his work day. David's bedroom door was ajar. Paul peeked in and shook his head at what he saw. It seemed like the door had been closed every time he walked by for the last month and it must have been at least that long since his son had made an effort to straighten up. As he inched the door open his nose was assaulted by a nauseating concoction of smelly socks, perspiration, and stale food. The drapes were closed to the sunny afternoon and a desk lamp partially illuminated the room. On the floor were balled up towels and several pairs of athletic shoes. Pop cans and stained paper plates randomly littered several surfaces and clothes were draped on about piece of furniture.

Paul's eyes were drawn to the brightness of an abandoned video game flickering on the TV screen and then to David's glowing laptop on his unmade bed. It was what he saw on the laptop that drew him further into the room. Stepping carefully over a pizza box and used Kleenexes that cluttered the carpet near the bed, Paul made his way across the room to get a better look at the screen, only to wish sincerely that he had not.

When David came into their living room twenty minutes later he was clean shaven and dressed neatly in khaki shorts, a red McKinley High School T-Shirt and leather sandals. Paul was surprised his son found anything clean to wear in that hellhole of a bedroom and the temptation to remark on its condition rose in his throat. He resisted. On his way out he had carefully pulled the door to David's room closed.

"I didn't hear you come in, dad."

Paul turned down the evening news he was watching. "You were in the shower."

"Isn't this your club night?"

"Yes, but a couple of the guys are out of town so we decided to call off the game this week."

"Oh. Well, I already grabbed something to eat. I'm getting ready to go out." Dave stood facing his dad with his hands on his hips.

Paul could smell Dave's masculine cologne. "It's nice to see you cleaned up and going out for a change. I think you must have gotten a haircut, too. What are your plans, son?"

"I'm not sure but I'm meeting Santana. You know, the girl I took to the prom? I won't be out too late, though."

Paul looked over at the framed photo of his son and Santana in her blazing red prom gown that sat on one of their end tables. He didn't remember any of the girls in high school looking like that. "She is a beautiful girl, David. Are you two interested in each other?"

Dave took his hands off of his hips and shook his head. "Not really dad but I like talking to her. And we are Bullywhips together." He smiled slightly and turned to leave. "See you later?"

"Okay, son. Be careful. I'll be here when you get home."

Dave drove northward into Lima Heights. The Lopez's lived in an area where all the small houses seemed to look alike. Santana must have been watching from a window for Dave. She was out the front door and halfway across the yard before he could even check the house number to make sure he had found the right place. Dave pulled the vehicle to a stop and waited a few seconds for Santana to hop into the passenger seat before taking off.

"Hey, where do you want to go?" questioned Dave. When they spoke on the phone they just agreed that he would come over to her house and decide on the rest later. Dave was not familiar with Lima Heights so it was up to Santana if she wanted to pick some place nearby.

Santana shrugged. "Well, we have our choice of red neck bars or grimy fast food places around here."

"We could go the mall or maybe a park…?" offered Dave.

"I'm not going on a nature walk in these," Santana retorted, hiking up her shapely leg to show him a bright yellow high-heeled sandal. Dave took an appraising look at the young woman sitting next to him. Her bright floral low cut halter top and low slung yellow shorts, showed off deeply tanned skin and considerable physical attributes. Dave was not totally immune to feminine beauty. He had certainly spent his share of time reaping the benefits of his jock status. After all friction was friction- even if his heart wasn't in it. He motioned up and down in her direction. "All this for me?" he leered.

"Right, 'duke stud'," replied Santana as she flipped her hair back and checked her shiny red nails. "Like you could give a shit, homo."

Dave surprised himself by laughing and joining in on the banter, "Takes one to know one, lesbo."

Santana laughed, too. Maybe both of them needed this night out. "Let's go to the mall and see what trouble we can get into."

At the next traffic light Dave turned left and they headed for the Lima Mall.

Santana and Dave strolled past the stores talking easily about school and common acquaintances. They had known each other peripherally for years, Santana as a varsity member of the Cheerios and Dave as one of the popular football and hockey players. As a couple walking through the mall they won many admiring glances, looking for all intents and purposes like senior high school kids on a date, most likely headed for the cinema to catch the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

Santana pulled Dave into Victoria's Secret with her to admire their latest displays of lingerie. She held up various pieces, teasingly asking him to react to different colors and styles, while he responded with obvious discomfort. The sales clerks laughed encouragingly at the cute couple. He repaid her with a trip into Dicks' Sporting Goods where he spent an interminable period of time checking out fly fishing equipment.

By the time they decided to find a corner in the food court to sit and talk, most of the dinner crowd had cleared out and they had their pick of tables. At Santana's insistence Dave found a cleaning rag on a nearby cart that he used to wipe the grease and ketchup smears off of their table and chairs. In the meantime Santana went to one of the vendors, returning with two large plastic cups of soda and straws.

Dave said when he called that he needed to talk 'about stuff, you know.' Santana had just fought with Brittany over the misdirected tweet from earlier in the day and told her there was no way she was showing up at Brit's house in her prom gown now, but Brit should let her know if anyone else did. It was Santana's typical brand of sarcasm of course but Brittany blithely promised she would. So when Dave called, Santana just said 'yes' without much further thought about it. Yes to getting out of the damn house for a change. Yes to a distraction that would keep her from dwelling on Brittany for a few hours.

Dave wasn't sure where to start and Santana was not known for her tact or patience. "So why are we here, Dave?" Santana asked in her best nearly bored to tears fashion. Then she took in the boy sitting across from her and recalled the time they met in the cafeteria to discuss starting the Bullywhips. Santana had called all the shots at that time. Today Dave had that same wild-eyed table-gripping look that indicated he might bolt any minute. He nervously glanced all around them and pulled his chair in closer to lean over the table. She instinctively knew he was the type of person who believed that somebody had to be in charge, someone had to be on top. And in those situations Santana's first impulse was to be that person who was on top. "OK, calm down, Dave, "she said in a matter of fact tone, patting his hand. "Just spill." Then Santana stared across the table at Dave, willing him to speak.

Dave nodded his head and looked down at the table. He really did not need to be duke stud right now, he just needed to talk. When he looked back up at Santana, he started, slowly enunciating each word as much for himself as for her, "I am in love with Kurt Hummel." Then he quietly sighed and looked away. When he met Santana's eyes a few seconds later she was sitting very, very still. He had her undivided attention. She let Dave continue uninterrupted.

"I've loved Kurt for as long as I can remember, since some time in grade school probably. He was always so different and…special. I remember going to his house for a birthday party – it was when his mom was still living- and how he and his mom had arranged everything to seem almost magical. I have never been to another birthday party like that. "I remember when his mom died and he was crying and sad in school sometimes. I cried, too, when he told me, and we hugged each other. He always smelled so good." Dave looked away in embarrassment. "I know this sounds lame."

"Even before we got out of grade school other kids started making fun of Kurt and at first I didn't understand it. All I knew was that he was my friend and I enjoyed playing with him. But I wanted to belong and I ended up being one of those kids who would pick on other kids to make myself feel better. When I look back on that I realize that some parents had probably started talking about how feminine Kurt seemed. I remember my dad remarking about it. All of us boys got a lot of lessons about being strong and athletic."

"When we were in middle school and my friends started noticing girls, I only really noticed Kurt. We weren't friends at that point but he was in some of my classes. I told myself I liked him because he seemed more like a girl than a boy. But it was confusing, because being like a girl was also the same thing that Kurt got ridiculed for. And it scared me- I mean it scared the hell out of me- that I liked him so much, because of course I knew that he was not a girl, yet I was just crazy about him."

"Then girls started noticing me and calling me and flirting with me. And before I knew it I was one of those popular jocks who has the girls falling all over him. I was never really the aggressor, but I didn't have to be." Dave shrugged, "I guess I'm not telling you anything you don't already know about how girls act around jocks like me. You do know. You were a cheerleader." Santana met his glance and nodded.

"That day in the cafeteria when you told me what my closeted life was going to be like, I understood what you were trying to say. But I always convinced myself that if I could just keep a lid on it, I could pull it off. And as long as girls followed me around, how tough could it be?"

"But the last few years have been totally fucked up." Dave looked straight into Santana's eyes and declared slowly, "I stood and watched Kurt turn into the most beautiful man that I have ever laid eyes on, with the most amazing voice I have ever heard." He shook his head in wonder. "After trying for years to push Kurt out of my life, my thoughts, and my dreams, he just turned around and came back stronger and harder to resist than before! Sometimes I have hated how he makes me feel so much that I wanted to kill him… really Santana, it scared me how much I just wanted to end him so I could end how I felt about him."

"Last year it just got worse. Kurt would come to school in those skinny jeans and I would get hard just walking by him in the hall." Dave blushed, but there was no point in stopping now. "Sorry, I don't mean to be crude but he is just so fricking hot. I thought he was tormenting me, like he had made the first move and he was coming on to me." Dave smiled grimly and shook his head. "I know I have it really bad, Santana." He went back to his story. "So, I would push him around and it would temporarily relieve my frustration." Dave unconsciously shifted in his seat, adjusting himself.

"One day after I shoved Kurt in the hall he got totally fed up and went ballistic. I think I broke his phone or something because I knocked it out of his hands. He followed me into the guys' locker room and started yelling at me. I yelled back at him and he got right in my face. We were both furious with each other and he was insulting me and told me how I wasn't his type and I would be bald or something. Everything around me was a blur except Kurt's face. Santana, all I knew was that Kurt was standing so close to me and I was so fucking turned on I could not stand it." Dave suddenly remembered where they were andcast a furtive glance around to the other tables. He lowered his voice. "I grabbed his face and kissed him on the mouth! I was so scared and mad, and it was so wrong, but for a few seconds I felt like I had finally come home-I don't know how else to say it." Dave was quiet for a moment, remembering. "So much of what happened seemed unreal, but pulling Kurt close and pressing my mouth to his all happened in slow motion. I've replayed it in my head a thousand times. Then I tried to kiss him again but he pushed me away from him. He was so upset. I can still see the utter shock on his face and the tears in his eyes."

"What I did scared the hell out of me. In the matter of two or three seconds I revealed a huge secret that I had kept for years and years. I was so afraid Kurt would go all drama queen and tell everyone what happened. If he did how could I blame him?"

"A day or so later this strange kid in a private school uniform showed up at school and the two of them wanted to talk to me about what I did. That was the first time I even saw Blaine. I could not figure out how Kurt knew this kid, who was really good looking and put together. I was scared shitless at that point and jealous as fuck. I remember thinking, who is this asshole with my Kurt?" Dave softly laughed to himself.

"It took me a while to figure out that Kurt did not really know. He did know that I wanted him. He just thought that I was gay."

Dave's face took on a puzzled look. "I really never thought about being gay. I mean that may sound lame to you, but all I ever knew was that I wanted Kurt. Not other guys, just Kurt. I honestly never really looked at other guys that way. The whole gay thing is kind of new to me. I'm glad because I can't imagine what kind of torture it must be to be naked and in showers with guys if I was into all of them. Jesus."

"When I got busted for threatening Kurt, I was amazed that he never outed me. And then he left for that private school. At first I was relieved. At least I did not have to see him and feel bad about what I was doing to him. But one day I realized that I missed him. I couldn't believe it! But I did. I would find myself looking for him in the hall and expecting to see him at his locker. This might sound sick, but sometimes I would drive by his house just hoping to get a glimpse of him getting in or out of his car. And if I happened to see him in town or see his car parked here at the mall my heart would just pound. Eventually I realized that I could not imagine life without him."

"There were a couple of times when I saw Kurt at football games and then I saw him when glee club did the benefit concert. By then he was always with Blaine. I don't know when they really started dating but when I realized that he really was with Blaine, I felt like I wanted to punch every wall I could find."

Dave's voice dropped so low that Santana had to lean forward to hear the words. "I spent years hating the love that I have for Kurt and hating myself for having those feelings. But hating has not changed a thing. And I am so ashamed of how I treated the person I love the most in the world, making his life miserable and making myself miserable, too."

He looked up at Santana again. "So when you came to me with your plan to get Kurt back, I knew I would do everything, everything in my power to make that happen. Because even though he is with someone else, I wanted nothing more than to be able to see him, hear him, and be in the same school with him. Only this time I would not do anything to hurt him, in fact I would do everything in my power to keep him safe and happy." Tears welled up in Dave's eyes.

"It has been very hard, but I love having Kurt back. He made me promise that I would help him begin a PFLAG group. And earlier today he called me about getting together over the summer to work on it." Dave looked up, pleading with his eyes. "Santana, I am totally freaked out about this. I thought I would have this summer to get my head on straight. But Kurt and I are going to get together next week! Fuck, Santana, what the hell am I going to do?"

Dave had been talking so long that Santana was shocked when he stopped. She had sucked down most of her drink and was poking through crushed ice with the straw to find what was left. She glanced up, suddenly realizing he was waiting for a response to his question.

"Uh…Dave? What you told me-I'm just trying to-Shit, Dave, I am so sorry. You really put it all out there didn't you?" Santana was stalling and she knew it. Finally she just put both of her hands out across the table. Dave instinctively reached out and took hers with his. She gripped tightly and smiled gently, her eyes never leaving his. Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all.

-To Be Continued—