May 17, 2015, 7 p.m.
Missing Pieces: Phone Calls & Phone Numbers
M - Words: 3,236 - Last Updated: May 17, 2015 Story: Complete - Chapters: 22/? - Created: Mar 09, 2015 - Updated: Mar 09, 2015 197 0 0 0 0
Thank you are for your excitement over this story. For a little idea I had that I thought Id write and finish in a bout 3 chapters it has really taken on a life of its own, and it makes me so happy to know people are enjoy it. Always feel free to leave a comment because I love to hear from you!
Kurt leaned back against his headboard, smiling up at the screen on his wall as his father answered his call. They had a weekly appointment to talk every Tuesday, but Kurt was exceptionally calling him on a Friday, because he had something particular he needed to discuss with him. B was still having nightmares.
Kurt wasnt sure how often they happened - he hoped not every night - but hed been woken up twice more by B shouting in his sleep, only to find him sitting up in bed and panting hard. B always tried to brush it off as not a big deal, but Kurt was worried about him. He still couldnt find any information about androids dreaming anywhere, and the Smythe expo was over a week away. Luckily, he happened to be related to an android expert.
"Hey Kurt." Burts smiling face came up on the screen. "How are you doing, buddy?"
It was always a relief to talk to his dad, even if it did tug at his heart with a little homesickness, or maybe it was more like nostalgia, because he felt at home in New York. Kurt made idle chit-chat with his dad for a little while. He was nervous to tell him about Bs dreams, only because he had a hard time thinking of "fixing" him. He didnt want to do anything that was going to change B from being B.
Burt could read him like an open book though. "Kurt, did you have something you wanted to tell me?" he eventually asked.
Kurt chuckled and looked down at his bedspread before taking a breath and looking back up at his dad. "I have a question about B, actually."
Burts brow furrowed. "Are you having difficulties with him? Because we can always take him back here at the shop."
"No!" Kurt said quickly. "Um… No. Its not that. Dad, have you ever heard of droids having dreams?"
"Dreams?" Burt repeated, and Kurt couldnt read his expression.
"Nightmares actually. B has nightmares sometimes. He wakes up at night crying and I… I dont know what to do to help him."
"Kurt. Androids dont have dreams."
Well, of course, thats what everyone thought, but it wasnt true in this case. "B does."
Burt was quiet for a long time, scratching his head and thinking. "Well…" he finally replied. "Droids have good memories. They can store facts, and languages and all kind of things when theyre programmed to. Maybe there is something malfunctioning with his memory drive and it is pulling up memories from before we had him."
"Like repressed memories?" Kurt asked, lifting in his eyebrows. "You think the things hes dreaming actually happened?"
"It makes more sense to me than his mind just making up dreams like humans do."
"Right," Kurt nodded. He still wasnt convinced that B was incapable of having actual dreams, but his dads theory made sense.
"Do you know what he dreams about?"
"People attacking him," Kurt replied quietly.
Burt let out a long breath. "I mean, it is possible."
Kurt felt a little sick. He hated that B had these dreams at all, but the thought that something like that actually happened to him was even worse.
"You might be able to fix it," Burt said. "You could wipe his memory drive."
Kurts eyes grew round and his stomach dropped. "Dad, no. No, I dont want him to forget me… or... or anything hes learned at school," Kurt added quickly.
Burt shook his head. "No, I mean, you could erase anything that is in there from before we found him," Burt clarified. "I could show you how."
"Oh." Kurt wasnt sure he liked that either. If B had had a life before the Hummels, did Kurt really have the right to erase it? "Ill ask him if he wants to."
"You dont have to ask," Burt said, shrugging. "If it is going to make things easier for you, then just fix him. He's your droid."
Those words hit Kurt like punches. He didnt consider B a possession. Or something that needed to be fixed. B was his own person. Kurt forgot that his dad, an android specialist, would have a different idea about droids. "Um… I dont know dad. I think B has the right to make that choice."
"Hmm," his dad huffed out and looked at him in a way that made Kurt want to squirm; it was the way his dad always looked at him when he knew Kurt was hiding something. The way he found out Mercedes had smashed Kurts car window that one time. The way he found out Kurt had snuck into a local private school to spy on their glee club. The way Burt found out that Kurt was being bullied and threatened by a jock at school. He was really bad at hiding things from his dad.
"God, Kurt," Burt finally said. "You like him, dont you?"
"Of course I do," Kurt said, trying to sound casual. "You and Carole like him too."
"Kurt." Burts voice grew stern. "Do you have feelings for him? You arent…" He looked a little hesitant to say anything more, but forged on all the same. "You dont have a crush on a droid, do you?"
"He... Hes not a regular droid," Kurt answered, not wanting to lie to his dad, but not able to say the actual words either.
"Oh, Kurt," Burt sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I know you get lonely sometimes-"
"Thats not it."
"Maybe B should come back to Ohio for a while."
"Dad! No." Kurts heart started to beat faster. "It isnt a big deal. And why would it matter anyway? If… If I did have feelings for him? B is good and caring and funny and sweet. Would it be so bad?"
Burt ran his hand over his head and took a moment before speaking. Kurt knew his dad was trying to get his thoughts together. "It is bad. Or it could be," he finally said. "I have no doubt that B treats you and others well. Bs a good droid. But he is still a droid, Kurt. Hes a machine. What kind of future is there for you in that?"
"Dad."
"No. I know you, Kurt. You dont like to date casually, when you fall for someone, you fall hard. And B? You could never have a normal life with him. He cant grow old with you. He cant relate to being human. Im afraid for you, Kurt. If you were with a droid, people would judge you for it. It would isolate you."
"When have you ever told me to not be myself because people would judge me for it?" Kurt said. His voice was scratchy with tears, and he didnt know if he was upset or angry or maybe both.
His dad sighed, looking wounded. "You know I have your back, always. I just dont want to see you hurt. This thing between you and B? It isnt a relationship that can work long term. It just isnt, and it could stop you from finding someone you could be happy with."
"Right," Kurt said, clearing his throat and looking away from the screen, not able to meet his dads face. "I mean, there isnt really a relationship at this point anyway. B is my friend." Kurt was looking down at his hands in his lap, but he made himself look up. "But I can see there being something between us. And its my choice. Mine and Bs."
"Yes, it is," Burt said with a gentle smile. "And I will love you and support you, no matter what. But just think about what I said? Will you at least take everything into consideration?"
"Of course," Kurt smiled back.
He changed the subject to something lighter and they both let the conversation drop. When they ended the call, Kurt felt a little sick and jittery. He knew his dad was only trying to protect him. He just didnt understand why no-one else could see B the way he did.
He wandered into the living room to find B curled up in an armchair, the blue blanket Kurt had bought him over his knees, reading a book. Kurt smiled at the look of concentration on Bs face, dark eyebrows bunched up and dark lashes fanned across his hooded eyes.
B looked up when he heard Kurt, and a sweet smile spread over his face. "Hows Burt?" he asked.
Kurt flopped down on the couch. "Good. I was talking to him about your nightmares, actually."
B sat up straighter, closing the book and laying it in his lap. "Really?"
"I hope thats okay."
"Of course it is. What did he think?"
"He thought maybe they were… memories?" Kurt said, keeping a close eye on Bs reaction.
He looked thoughtful for a moment, tilting his head adorably before he spoke. "From before I ended up in The Heap?"
"Thats the theory."
"They arent very happy memories."
"No." Kurt shook his head. "My dad could show me how to erase them. Not all your memories!" Kurt added quickly when he noticed Bs frightened expression. "Just the ones from before my dad found you. It would get rid of the nightmares."
B nodded slowly. "Thatd be nice, but…"
"But what, B?" Kurt said, leaning forward.
"Well, if I have memories about who I was before you found me and you erased them, dont you think it would… change me? I mean, even if I dont really remember them, arent our experiences what make us who we are?"
"Yes," Kurt said softly.
"Well then, what if even if I dont consciously remember them, they are important? What if theres a chance I could remember them eventually? I mean, if you want me to do it-"
"No," Kurt shook his head. "I thought Id tell you about that option, but it is 100% up to you."
B smiled at him and got up from the chair to sit next to him on the couch. Right next to him. "Then I think I want to keep my hidden memories. Nightmares and all."
Kurt looked at his face, calm and sure and so very close. It would just take Kurt leaning forward a little to make their lips meet. Kurt swallowed and looked away from Bs warm brown eye. "Good," he smiled. "I was hoping youd want to keep them."
B reached over and grabbed one of Kurts hands, holding it between them. "Thank you, Kurt."
Kurt sighed happily, loving how well his hand fit in Bs. He leaned his head on Bs shoulder. "What are you reading?"
B lifted the book hed carried over with him. "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea."
"How would you feel about reading it out loud?"
"Id love to read it to you, Kurt," he said softly. "Do you want me to start again from the beginning? I havent gotten very far yet."
"Okay, if you dont mind."
"I dont mind," B said, and his melodic voice started to read, "The year 1866 was signalized by a remarkable incident, a mysterious and puzzling phenomenon, which doubtless no-one has yet forgotten."
Kurt leaned into B, letting the warmth of his voice wash over him, feeling perfectly content.
Rachel was coming over for dinner, and Kurt was a flurry of activity as he moved around the apartment, making sure it was nice and neat and everything was where it belonged. Then he headed to the kitchen to make sure the baked falafels, which he had made specifically because it was the best vegetarian recipe he had, werent burning. He opened the oven and peeked in.
"I just checked those, Kurt," B said, smiling and leaning up against the counter to watch him.
"You did?"
"You asked me to make sure they didnt burn, remember?"
Kurt bit his lip, "Oh, yeah." He closed the oven and looked around the kitchen. Surely there was something hed forgotten to do.
"The cucumber sauce is in the refrigerator and the pie is over here cooling," B pointed. "The sautéed veggies are almost done. The table is all set. Everything is ready," B assured him.
"Right," Kurt said, rubbing his hands down his pants anxiously.
"Why are you so nervous about this?" B asked, his face concerned. "You used to live with Rachel. Shes one of your best friends."
"I know. I know. Im not nervous," Kurt said quickly, and they both knew that was a lie. The truth wasnt something Kurt could say out loud, though. He was nervous because this was the first time Rachel and B would meet and he really really wanted them to like each other. Well, B liked everyone, but he wanted Rachel to… to what? To get it? To understand? To be able to see B as the person he was.
B smiled and reached out to squeeze Kurts hand. "Everything is lovely, and I cant wait to meet Rachel." Kurt took a deep breath, feeling better just because of Bs calming presence.
Rachel arrived early, but Kurt was expecting that. She came in all smiles and dark hair whooshing behind her, hugging Kurt and then hugging B as soon as he had been introduced.
"Im so happy to finally meet you," she said, holding B out at arms length and looking him over. "Kurt has told me so much about you."
B blushed a little. "He talks about you all the time too."
Rachel smiled winningly.
"Here, let me take your coat," he said, helping her out of the bright pink monstrosity she was wearing, with a matching barret that she took off and gave B as well. Kurt rolled his eyes, but felt pretty good. So far, things were going well.
They drank wine and ate the falafels with cucumber sauce, B just nibbling and not trying the wine. He said that wine was too expensive to waste on a droid drinking. Kurt didnt really like that, but wasnt going to force it either. Rachel monopolized most of the conversation, talking about her role as Fanny Price and how much she loved it, and about an interview shed just done for Playbill magazine. B didnt seem to mind; he hung on her every word.
"Rachel, that sounds so exciting," he said, beaming.
"Oh, it is. Its everything I ever dreamed it would be. But you know, it is also so exhausting, keeping the public happy and being there for my fans." She sighed dramatically and Kurt was pretty sure he saw B holding back a chuckle. "But it is all so worth it."
Kurt used to get jealous hearing Rachel talk about her career. Kurt was still at NYADA and working hard and hadnt caught his big break yet, whereas Rachel had dropped out during her first year because she already had a part on Broadway. He was happy for her though, and that feeling eventually swallowed up any jealousy he felt.
Rachel must have realized she'd been talking about herself all evening, because as Kurt was serving the cherry pie B had made, she started to ask B questions about how he liked New York and about his classes. He told a story about his music lessons and another droid who could play any song put in front of him, but he played them all in a Stentato, banging hard on the keys, no matter what the written dynamic was. The way B told the story, and his impression of the other droid had both Kurt and Rachel in stitches.
Kurt wasnt sure what Rachel was thought about B, but Kurt knew the whole evening he was growing more and more fond of him. B was so good with Rachel and seemed to thoroughly enjoy her company.
When Rachel left, late and a little tipsy, she asked if Kurt would walk her down to the curb. Kurt knew this was when she was going to give her ruling on what she thought about B. She looped her arm through Kurts as they reached the hallway and smiled brightly at him.
"B is lovely," she said, and Kurt only realized hed been a little tense all evening as he started to relax. "I can see why you like him so much. I mean, he is a dreamboat, for starters."
Kurt smiled. "Yeah."
"Plus, he loves music, and he is so sweet. I can definitely understand why you are falling for him."
Kurt wanted to contradict her, but she was right. Kurt was falling hard.
"I just wish…" She sighed, and Kurt tensed up again. This was it. "I just wish he was a real person, you know?"
"He is a real person," Kurt said firmly. How many times was he going to have to say this?
"Okay. Okay," Rachel said pacifyingly. "I wish that he was human, then."
They walked outside and Kurt was quiet. He didnt know what to say to that.
"How long has it been since youve been on a date?" she asked suddenly.
"Um…" Kurt thought about it. "A little while."
"Have you dated since you got back to New York?"
"No."
"When you were in Ohio?"
"Of course not."
"So you havent been on a date since last semester?" She raised her eyebrows and Kurt tried to push down his frustration at the interrogation.
"Yes, I guess thats right."
She reached into the pocket of her ridiculously pink peacoat and withdrew a folded slip of paper. "Here."
Kurt took the paper and read it. It was a phone number.
"His name is Elliot. He just graduated NYU last year and is an understudy for Nick Arnstein in my play. Kurt, he's really great. And Ive told him all about you."
"Youre setting me up with someone?" Kurt stared at the phone number blankly before looking back up at Rachel.
"Yes, I am. You havent been on a date in almost a year, and now youre crushing on your droid."
Kurt opened his mouth to speak, but Rachel lifted a hand and continued. "Just go on a date with a human, Kurt. If you like Elliot, then great. If you dont, then you can say you tried and Ill leave it alone."
Kurt sighed. She might have a point. It had been a long time since hed been out, and he still wasnt sure he was ready to take a next step with B. He wanted to. He really wanted to. So much so that hed started dreaming of B at night. But maybe dating a human was a better, more grounded idea.
"Elliot is super hot, if that helps."
"Ill think about it, Rachel," Kurt said, opening the cab door for her.
"Will you really?"
"Yes." Kurt smiled. "I will, really."
"Good." Rachel climbed in the cab. "Hes super hot, remember!" And then she was pulling away and Kurt was left on the sidewalk with the phone number of a hot actor who also, happily enough, was a human. He thought back on everything his dad said about dating B. His heart was telling him to go for it with B, but at the same time, if he could have something with a human, shouldnt he give that a chance? In any case, it had been too long since hed been on a date, and it could be fun.
He should call Elliot.