Feb. 26, 2012, 12:44 p.m.
Unexpected: Eye Sex
T - Words: 1,154 - Last Updated: Feb 26, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 14/? - Created: Nov 29, 2011 - Updated: Feb 26, 2012 1,346 0 1 0 0
They had collaborated, plotted, schemed, and commiserated. The oblivious natures of Kurt and Blaine were something of a sore spot for both groups. Everyone seemed to know how Kurt and Blaine felt for each other, except Blaine. Fortunately for him, Kurt was persistent and it was a joyous occasion when they finally got together.
The Warblers, having had to deal with unresolved sexual tension more often, were especially thankful. They were certain that the eye-flirtation (eye-sex, thank you Jeff) would end once Kurt and Blaine could express their feelings for each other (have actual sex, again, thank you Jeff). Having to endure it every single day would test the patience of a saint.
Was it so wrong to expect some relief?
But no, that was not the case; things did not get better once the boys became official. They got worse.
Wes and David never thought they would miss the furtive, longing glances that Kurt and Blaine would sneak each other when one wasn't looking. Gone were the sighs of unrequited love and songs about wanting what you can't have. It should have been a good thing.
Instead, they were quite sickening. Not in a homophobic way; even the other gay guys in the Warblers agreed with this description. Now Blaine would sing his solos directly at Kurt, or Kurt would muss the curls of Blaine's hair while they cuddled on the couch during Warbler meetings. The sighs now came with dreamy looks into each other's eyes. And the love songs? Don't ever mention it in front of their respective roommates.
Even New Directions weren't immune, and although they got their Kurt-and-Blaine in small doses it seemed to concentrate the fluffiness. They were adorable and flirty with each other all the time, and even when they were separated they were talking about each other. Kurt would gush about how sweet his boyfriend was, making all of the other girls jealous. Even Blaine got to share some stories when he was watching a game with the New Directions guys. That thing Kurt could do with his tongue? Puck asked Blaine if Kurt would teach it to Santana.
All they wanted was peace.
XX
"I call this meeting of the Warblers and New Directions to order!" Wes announced with a bang of his gavel. The groups had taken advantage of Kurt and Blaine's trip to Columbus for a date and were meeting at Breadstix to discuss a course of action. Their last meeting had been just before Regionals, though they occasionally met in smaller groups simply to hang out.
"As ambassador of the New Directions I feel it is my duty to begin with a summary of the current issue we will be discussing, as well as an itinerary pertaining the details of this meeting. Now-" Rachel was about to continue when Puck stood up and cut her off.
"Yo Rach, I got this," he smirked at the annoyed look on her face before turning to address the group, "What up. As your am-badass-ador I will summarize whatever the hell Rachel was going to spend a half hour telling us: The problem is the ridiculously sappy relationship our boys got goin' on. Ideas?"
Thankful to avoid a Rachel Berry Lecture (with capitals), everyone began to throw out ideas:
"Lock them in a room until they promise to stop!"
"Don't be dumb, they'll just make out."
"Wanky."
"Throw candy at them! It's entertaining in its irony!"
"Who's going to buy that much candy?"
It continued on in such a ridiculous manner for a few more minutes.
"Why doesn't someone just tell them to tone it down?" Brittany asked quietly, munching on a breadstick. Her calm question seemed to settle the others into a moment of deep thought. She looked around at the table and back down at the breadstick in her hand, "Do you think that the trees they cut these off of are part of that whole deforestation thing?"
"She came up with the best idea of the night," Thad stared at Brittany, "And then asked the most baffling question I've ever heard come from a human being."
Artie smirked, "Sounds about right."
Meanwhile, Wes was having a debate with Rachel, Finn, Mercedes and Nick about the merits of Brittany's suggestion:
"Would that work?"
"Why didn't anyone think of that right away?"
"As long as I don't have to do it. It's like shooting Bambi."*
"Um, guys?"
Who would have thought, while everyone was caught up in ordering food and debating how to tell Kurt and Blaine to "knock it off," the subjects of their meeting would walk in. Blaine looked mildly amused at the antics of their friends, if a little confused; Kurt was giving them a classic bitch face that still sent shivers down more than a few spines.
"Uh... Hi guys!" Trent made himself known, as the others seemed stunned or frightened into silence, "We though you were in Columbus tonight?"
"Nope," Blaine was enjoying this way too much to be considered healthy, "That's next week. So what are you all doing?"
"Just... Having a meeting," Rachel seemed to recollect herself after a moment, "While I do believe in maintaining the integrity of each team's upcoming numbers for any possible competition, it is impossible to ignore the fact that we have all become friends. Therefore, it seemed reasonable to have a night out in which to simply enjoy one another's company, as well as indulge in general merriment."
"But we had to be in Columbus for this to happen?" Blaine smirked. Rachel was at a loss for words.
"Care to explain?" raising an eyebrow that artfully had to take hours of practice, but Kurt was too busy staring down those with the weakest mind defenses to pay attention to the admiring looks he received. Finally, Finn began to shift uncomfortably, but Kurt kept his gaze steady until he snapped.
"Oh my god! Fine! I'll confess!" Finn burst out, muttering a little under his breath about "damn ninja Jedi mind tricks" before standing up and moving around the table to wrap an arm around each boy's shoulders, "So you know we love you guys. We're happy you're together and that you make each other happy-"
"Boo! Get to the good part!" Santana heckled, causing Jeff and a few others to snicker.
"Right, the good part!" Finn cleared his throat, "You're too cute."
Both of the offenders blinked. They stared at Finn in confusion until Kurt broke the silence, "Um... what?"
"You heard the man," Artie called out, "You're too cute! You're always happy and in love and too adorable to actually be mad at for this but-"
"Cut it the fuck out," Puck finished with a fist bump to Artie, "Spare us the eye-sex!"
Kurt and Blaine blinked again, this time replying in (adorably confused) unison: "What eye-sex?"
Everyone at the table groaned. This was going to be a long night.
Comments
I think it came out quite nicely. Lol Kurt and Blaine WOULD be too cute. :3