To be honest, Kurt didn’t spend much time dwelling on the little drawing Friday night. All he knew was that Blaine wasn’t easy to figure out. Or not yet. And, of course, he knew full well that he might never bump into him again. So, he really didn’t contribute anything big to the slip of paper he found.

Yes, he was fairly sure he was the one inspiring Blaine’s doodle with his Monday quote, but there wasn’t much else to it. At least it explained why Blaine made such an effort to be nice at Prospero’s. No, Kurt thought. Making an effort wasn’t exactly what Blaine was doing. He still didn’t know why, but he was convinced that it came naturally to Blaine. At least more naturally than the grumpiness. And the book mark was another proof in Kurt’s eyes.

But other than these thoughts he really didn’t concentrate much on the stranger.

He was still confused as to his own reflections and thoughts, though. His all in all feeling or memory of the meeting was pleasant, but some of his biggest insecurities were triggered, even is Kurt was now on the opinion that Blaine absolutely did not do that on purpose. Still. He couldn’t help but linger on those sentences. Even if one doesn’t have those experiences… and Deals in great details with cross-dressing…

Kurt’s rational mind (most often supported by Kate’s soothing and supporting words) would scream Screw the whole thing, you live your life, don’t worry about what others think. But Kurt couldn’t always be rational. He didn’t want to give any thoughts to people who had rude things to say to him, who wanted to hurt him, but he couldn’t help it. When you hear things a lot, you tend to get weaker and weaker in shutting those voices out.

His virginity and peculiar clothes were Kurt’s weak points in his defense system. He never went as far as to deny any part of the truth. If he was asked… But he seemed more comfortable not talking about these issues, or not to be called out on them. Yes, he felt like this was his real self, he had this gut feeling that since he made his decisions on the basis of what felt 100% true and genuine, he was on the right track. He just had trouble being very vocal about it.

Of course it got better with time. High school was tough. Being different meant being insecure all the time. There was no one to reassure him. Not really. He always knew he was okay, more than okay. That he was perfect with all his decisions. Still. Peer pressure, and the need for an easier life, an easier path… But he remained strong. Tactful and strong.

He soon realized that everyone assumed he was gay. In a sense it made the wearing of extravagant clothes easier. He wanted to feel proud of his style, his sense of fashion, and he did. But there was always a hint of defense mechanism behind the proud expression. Was he considered less of a man for this? Was he considered feminine for this? Did people assume he wanted to be treated like a woman? Did people make assumptions on what role he would play in a relationship?

Kurt personally thought the division of genders quite arbitrary. He knew what he thought to be masculine, he knew it was partly different from the conventional male type. But he didn’t care. People can’t help what turns them on. Plus, he thought the heteronormative interpretation of a relationship is very outdated. Even when you talk about opposite-sex couples. But with gay men? Come on? Be reasonable. Why would there be a woman in a relationship of two men? Yes, every relationship has its dynamics, there are often dominant and submissive partners, those things often change according to different aspects of life, and often people are versatile enough to be dominant one day and feel the need to be dominated on another. And by dominated you don’t mean physically abused. Not at all. Just being taken care of, or being supported.

So Kurt found it irritating on more than one level when people suggested he was girlish. He did not think fashion was exclusively a female thing. And he hated that people assumed him to be… let’s just say it… a bottom.

Especially since he was so far from that reality In high school.

When he left high school everything started to change. He met knew people, he met more extravagant people (and proud of it, too), and he met people who were more subtle about talking of sex. So he had the luxury of feeling more and more at ease with his own opinions and decisions.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to have sex. He did, of course. More for intimacy’s sake than anything else. And he had a rather wide interpretation of the word. He often talked about this with Kate. He called everything being physical with someone that involved closeness, heavy breathing and acting on a mutual attraction in general. From chaste caressing to bewildered naked bodies being soiled with pleasure. But he had one thing he was saving. Penetrative sex, Kate would say. Making love, Kurt would answer.

The term was somewhat misleading. Kurt didn’t cling to the idea of being with someone for his first time he was in love with. Not necessarily. But someone he was madly attracted to, someone who would make the experience memorable, someone he trusted, and most importantly, someone who was special enough to be remembered fondly 20 or 50 years from now.

Yeah, Kurt had partners. Patient and impatient partners, boys he fell in love with and boys who only provided him with a few not so exciting weeks of dating. Boys he only kissed and boys he fooled around with. Boys he could talk about sex with and boys who believed being verbal was overrated. Boys he planned on making love to one day, and boys he knew would never be his firsts.

So when in college boys started to ask him out, and he started to have shorter and longer relationships, he was always satisfied. In every sense of the word. And he never felt the need to compromise this idea of his. That he would wait for someone he is a 100% sure about. And where this feeling was mutual.

But as years rolled, and people talked about sex more freely, he felt this burden. Peer pressure again. Regardless of his certainty in the matter, there was always this voice… You’re weird, you’re different.

Fortunately, it was never loud enough to pressure him into anything, but it was consistent, and gave him a subtle but always-there insecurity. That no matter what, he was still a virgin. A boy above twenty, and still a virgin.

And when you have such insecurities, you worry. That people can see, that it’s all too obvious, that you’ll always have to explain yourself. Even if your choices are perfectly valid. Why wouldn’t you wear extravagant clothes? Why wouldn’t you wait for someone special to share a milestone with.

Well, yeah. Kurt was okay with having to deal with these insecurities. It didn’t mean he didn’t get overly defensive about them sometimes.

All these things came flooding back with Blaine’s innocent (Kurt hoped) words, unconsciously making Kurt’s image of Blaine all too complex. Yeah, there was this gut feeling that the guy was kind and open. But Kurt couldn’t help but be on guard and look out for judgmental remarks and looks.

But he pushed everything aside, and it didn’t take more than two minutes for his mind to wander from Blaine’s bookmark to totally different things and forget about the afternoon, and Blaine altogether.

His Friday night turned out to be a joy.

Kate came into their room around 8 pm, and acted as a storm, sweeping out everything with her.� Previous thoughts, pensive mood and prior calculations. And Kurt was more than happy to oblige. She said she wanted to dine out, so Kurt abandoned his plan of reading, they still had few cute little places to try out around campus.

After dinner they went for a lazy, nice walk in the spring breeze, and ran into a few of Kate’s classmates that Kurt knew from before. They found� bench and spent half an hour catching up, nothing too deep, nothing too fancy, but all too comfortable and Friday evening-y.

But Kate wanted Kurt all for herself for the night, so they said good-byes and headed back to the room with a nice bottle of red wine. Once they settled comfortably on Kurt’s bed and a movie was picked (Grease, so they could talk over the familiar dialogues of the film) the two of them were ready to drown in each other’s company.

Slowing down together after a tough and challenging week was amazing. And so so comfortable. Shortly after the end of the film the two of them fell asleep, in separate beds, so they could be really comfy.

The next morning was spent more energetically. With the cleaning of their room. And once they finished, they headed for the mall with the plan of spending the afternoon in town. At the Pride, to be more exact.

They knew the local Gay Pride was to be held that Saturday, so weeks ago they agreed to check out the celebration, and both of them were quite excited to go.

Truth be told, Kurt would have never had the guts to go to such an event while in high school. But this was different. This wasn’t his hometown, he was much more comfortable in his skin, and he had Kate. Dear Kate, who made it clear, like from day one of their friendship that she cared about LGBT rights very much, and that Kurt should just deal with it. This was before Kurt came out to her. God bless her.

So the two of them dressed up nicely, wearing a few colors, nothing too extravagant, and joined the march of a few thousand people.

The music was great, the atmosphere was very cosmopolitan, everyone was smiley and friendly. There were a few people who clearly wanted to make a spectacle of themselves, but hey, that was part of the fun, too, right?

There were people who casually engaged in conversations, a few of those found Kurt and Kate, who didn’t mind terribly. Everyone was respectful and nice, so it was okay. After all, both of them had opinions in gay rights related matters, and were more than willing to share them.

But, they had to admit, in the gorgeous sunlight the best part was still to have the other on their sides, and talk and observe and share.

They spotted people with the best clothes, with the cutest children, with the most adorable loving gestures, people with great hats, and witty banners, they pointed it out to the other (respectfully, of course), and discussed it all.

“Oh my God, Kurt, look, look, they are too adorable!” said Kate in a low voice, pointing to an elderly male couple, one of them had to be around 60, the other a good twenty years younger, and the younger man sweetly pulled his partner towards himself, chastely placing a kiss on his temple. Kurt turn towards them just in time to witness that.

“Yeah, you’re right. But look. That little girl. Geez, I just wanna run to her and squeeze her, I can’t even… those blonde pigtails, and that little dimple…” Kurt pointed to a girl around 4 or 5, she was with her two moms, one clearly the biological mother, because the little girl was the spitting image. But the other woman acted towards her just as naturally. Of course, thought Kurt. It’s not only genetics that can make a parent.

“Aaaaaw, you’re right. Gosh, she’s too cute!” Kate all but squeaked.

The next few minutes were spent in silence, spotting other things but nothing interesting enough to share. When Kate whispered again.

“Okay. Too much handsomeness at two o’ clock. The award of the cutest male couple today…”

Kurt was intrigued by this, and turned his head, following Kate’s gaze. At the given direction he saw two young men, around his age, average height. Their gestures were not lovey-dovey, but the taller one had his arm around the other’s shoulder, and they seemed to be enjoying themselves, because after a few short remarks from the taller, brown haired man the other guy laughed out a deep and melodious laugh. His head fell back, and the force of the laughter seemed to liberate even his thick dark curls…

Hold on a second…

“Kate, I know that guy…” Kurt froze. They were far enough not to get noticed by this. He needed to process this.

“You do?”

“Yeah. He was the one taking my order on Monday.”

“Your order? Kurt, what are you ta… oh, you mean coffee.”

“Yes.”

“And how can you remember him? It was days ago!”

“Well, actually, I kind of ran into him yesterday.”

“What? When? Where?” Kate was beginning to get excited. The guy was gorgeous.

“Calm down, Kath, it was a coincidence. We both went to Prospero’s in the afternoon.”

“And?”

“And what? We talked for a few minutes. He lent me a book.” Kurt said, trying to sound nonchalant. He didn’t want to make a fuss about it, but somehow knew Kate wouldn’t let it go.

“He lent you a what?”

“A book, Kate. Don’t be like that. It was a bookshop after all.”

“Exactly! Why would he lend you one when you can buy it?”

“I don’t know, to be honest.”

“And did he say he was gay?” Kate asked enthusiastically.

“It didn’t come up, if you can believe that…” Kurt said with a large amount of sarcasm in his voice.

“Well, he seems gay alright. “ Kate said with less force. Somewhat disappointed at the fact that the guy was with someone.

“It might not be his boyfriend…” Kurt said, and after Kate’s questioning look he added “Gosh, Kate, for a straight woman marching in the Pride you sure have a narrow mind on the subject.”

“Kurt, get real. They do look pretty cosy.”

“Yeah. they do.” Kurt had to admit.

“Won’t you go over to say hi?”

“I don’t know. Should I?” Kurt remembered how quickly they parted yesterday, but thought this would be his chance to thank Blaine properly for the book.

“Heck yeah. Did you guys exchange numbers?” Kate asked with growing curiousity.

“No. And it’s gonna be awkward once I finish his book. But one thing I’m definitely not doing is ask for his number in front of his man.”

“Yeah, probably smart.” Kate admitted. “Well, go on, go, I’ll catch up later.”

“You didn’t think I’d leave you here, did you? You were the one drooling over them, come on. I’ll introduce you to the “winners”.

And with that Kurt took a not-so-unwilling Kate’s hand in his and moved through the crowds toward the two men.

“Blaine?” Kurt stepped in their view, and asked in a kind, questioning tone.

The dark haired boy looked in his direction, and his eyebrows shot up when he saw who called his name.

“Oh, wow! What a coincidence! Kurt.” Blaine said with a polite yet genuine smile. For the briefest second Kurt reprimanded himself for his bold move. What if the last thing Blaine wanted was for someone to recognize him at the Pride. After all, Kurt’s been there…

But his uneasy feelings were soon swept away, because Blaine gestured the other guy to take his arm from around his shoulder, and moved to introduce him.

“Kurt, this is Cooper. My big bro. Coop, this is Kurt. We met a few days ago, and keep bumping into each other.” Blaine finished, the last words were directed more towards Kurt than the brother, and Cooper (as Kate did not fail to catch) shot a knowing (was it smug?) look at Blaine.

At the word brother both Kate and Kurt opened their mouths in a surprised little o, but both quickly recovered, and followed the polite pattern of the introduction.

“Very nice to meet you, Cooper.” Kurt shook the man’s hand. “This is Kate, my best friend. Kate, this is Blaine” Kurt paused for a moment to look at him, marking his achievement of remembering the name, and went on. “And, as you heard, his brother, Cooper.”

“Great to meet you both!” Kate said chirpily.

“Likewise” Cooper added. The first word he uttered didn’t reveal much of the man, but he seemed genuine, just like his “little” bro, and the eyes were similarly open and curious as Kurt got to know yesterday in Blaine’s expression.

“Do you guys want to join us?” Blaine asked, and moved so they could comfortably fit the space in the crowd that a few minutes earlier only the two of them occupied.

“Sure, why not?” was Kurt’s answer. With Kate on his side he felt not much could go wrong. And soon enough, Kate went to engage her new acquaintances in a conversation, however superficial. But what do you expect at a march of thousands.

“So, what do you guys think of this year’s event?” Kate started.

“Were you here last year?” Blaine asked.

“No, this is our first. You?”

“Yeah, we were here. I think this year’s a great improvement. I guess it’s much more versatile.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well. Last year I felt the Pride kind of tried to exclude certain things, and when you’re marching with so many rainbow flags you kind of wonder if excluding anything is the right thing to do.” Blaine explained. “Like, there were so many banners saying anti-religious and anti-Christian things. I think that’s unnecessary, you know? And the music. This year it’s great, you can hear all sorts of tunes. Last year? It was Lady Gaga from beginning to end. I think that’s just a little one-sided.”

“Okay, lil’ bro, I think we get what you mean…” Cooper stopped Blaine in his rant, sensing somehow that it might have been a little too much for the newcomers. Indeed, Kurt seemed lost in his thoughts, although Cooper was sure he heard everything. Kurt’s eyes were roaming around in the crowd observantly.

Blaine blushed a little, and hurried to add something.

“But this is great! And it’s great to see so many faces out here.” He concluded.

There were a few moments of thought-filled silence, when Kate spoke up.

“Do you know if there’s gonna be anything interesting at the end of the march. Like speeches, or a concert, or anything?”

“Yeah, speeches, probably.” Cooper seemed thoughtful after saying that. “It wasn’t anything special last year.”

At this Kurt found Kate’s hand at her side and squeezed it a little, willing her to get what he was about to say, and play along.

“Well, in that case, I guess we won’t stay for much longer. We didn’t plan on staying till the end anyway.” Kurt tried to sound convincing. He just needed to be somewhere else right now.

“Yeah. I promised him an ice cream earlier…” Kate added, playfully. But the line worked. Blaine and Cooper didn’t seem offended by their abrupt parting, and no harm was done. The good-byes were jovial, and as Kurt and Kate moved in another direction they could see Cooper flinging his arm back around his brother’s shoulder, and drowning in a light conversation again.

“Okay, what was that about?” Kate questioned Kurt once they were out of earshot. “Are you out of your mind? They were super sweet and nice, why would you leave like that? And did I mention gorgeous?”

“Yeah, yeah, you said that already…” Kurt mumbled.

“But what?”

“I dunno. Kathy, it just felt off. Sorry. I just felt like, I dunno, I came out here to have fun, to be with you, to enjoy the sunshine. It just seemed we’d be in for a hell of a ride if we went on with them.”

“Kurt, be honest with me. Is this about the Lady Gaga comment?”

“No, of course not! I mean, not really. I don’t know. Kath, you know I love to defend everything I love so passionately. And for a second there I debated myself whether I should go into it, or not. Yeah, the Lady Gaga thing, and the religious comment as well.” Kurt paused pensively. “But we would’ve been there for hours once I started… And I don’t even know the guy, for fuck’s sake.”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Kate knew Kurt must have been really frustrated, he rarely cursed. ”You had to make a decision. Either to rip off the head of a beautiful stranger, or smile politely and decline. I think you chose wise, my dear.” Kate said in a fake motherly tone. She really did understand. Kurt was extremely passionate when arguing about his favorite subjects, it really could have ended ugly.

“So, how about that ice cream?” She smiled encouragingly at her best friend. “Shall we take it home?”

“Yes, please.” Kurt was grateful. He felt lucky to have Kate in his life. She just understood. So easily.

They got home a little later, and dove into the jar of strawberry ice cream they bought on their way back. They talked for hours, enjoying the lazy Saturday afternoon, and it was around 7:30 that they decided to get ready for bed and finish off the day with another movie. They needed a good night’s rest for tomorrow, for catching up with school work.

So Kate was out in the showers at the end of the hallway, and Kurt was stretched out on his bed, waiting.

He almost gave up and let himself drift off when someone knocked on the door.

He was lost as to who it might be, Kate would never knock on her own door. So Kurt got off of his bed reluctantly, and made his way to the door. When he opened it, his eyes almost fell out of their sockets.

“Blaine! What are you doing here?”

“Please don’t freak out! I kinda spent the better half of the afternoon trying to figure out how to reach you.”

“And this is the part where I don’t freak out?” Kurt asked skeptically.

“Yeah, please don’t. I got lucky, I guess. I went to Prospero’s, hoping that you payed by card and they would be able to tell me your full name, but once I asked, I remembered you were gonna pay with a twenty, but there was a nice girl there, who heard me asking after you, and she told me she knew your roommate, and directed me to this building, but she didn’t know the room-number, so I had to ask around. And voila, here I am.”

“Impressive.” Kurt smiled.

“Right? But anyway, I just wanted to say, I’m sorry if I came on too strong at the march. When you left Coop told me how I sounded, and gosh, I didn’t want to seem arrogant, or presumptuous, or anything.”

“It’s okay, honestly. You were just stating your opinion. You didn’t have to make such an effort to come find me to apologize.”

“Well, I did, actually. I just know how bad it is when somebody’s opinion is pushed down your throat, and I didn’t want to do that. I promise. You guys just left so quickly, and the march wasn’t really the proper context to discuss something so out of the blue. And I didn’t realize that. And I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I get it.”

“Look, Kurt. I do have opinions on the matter, yes, but I’m sure you do, too, I guess that’s what brought you there in the first place. And I’d love to listen to what you think. About the Pride, or about anything else. Or about the books. You know…”

“Well…”

“Do you like hiking?” Blaine asked abruptly.

“Wow, you sure change the subject easily…”

“No, no. What I meant was… Me and a few of my friends go on a hiking trip next weekend. Nothing big, just to get off campus, to have fresh air. And it’d be great if you joined us. We could talk that way. Hang out. What do you think? The boys would love you. And you can bring Kate, I’m sure some of the guys are bringing girlfriends anyway.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Kurt didn’t know why it was so important for him to say that. He settled for the obvious explanation. Kate really wasn’t. And he wanted to tell the truth.

“Oh, yeah, I know. I mean I assumed. You weren’t acting too couple-y at the march. I meant, she wouldn’t be the only girl. So, what do you think?”

Kurt was hesitant, to say the least. Yeah, it was flattering that Blaine went to such extremes just to hear his opinion on things, but he wasn’t sure it’d turn out that great. And hiking wasn’t really his thing.

But in the end what decided the matter was Lady Gaga. Kurt felt a fire flaming in him remembering how he consciously swallowed his opinion that afternoon. He wanted to get that out in the open. He wanted to have that conversation, especially if Blaine was willing to take it. And he hoped and yearned for a great conversation to come of that.

“I guess I should ask Kate first.” He said finally.

“Great! Awesome! Do that. And I’ll send you the details on Facebook. Is that okay? I do know your full name now…” Blaine’s eyes lit up with excitement. Kurt couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah. Yeah, that could work. Um, Thanks.”

“No problem.” The dark haired boy flashed a smile, and Kurt knew he decided wisely. How could anything with a boy who had such a genuinely radiant smile turn wrong?

Suddenly something came to Kurt’s mind.

“Wait here a second.” And with that he ran to his bedside table, picked up the Marquez book, took out the bookmark, and went back to the door, where Blaine was standing.

“Here, I think this belongs to you.” He said. And he held out the little piece of paper. He held it with its more densely written half up, but as Blaine reached for it, he flipped it, and gave it to the boy with the little drawing clearly visible. Blaine looked at the paper, then up into Kurt’s face.

He blushed a deep red, but quickly recovered. His smile was that of a boy caught in a mischief but also somewhat shy, until it all went away and his expression was back at his usual ease. As if saying yes, I’m not gonna deny it. Kurt enjoyed the display of emotions, and especially the eyes, that were boring into Kurt’s. Ah, there you go, Kurt thought, feeling the recognition in his guts. Seeing, not just looking.

“Thank you. Well, then I guess I’ll see you. Take care, Kurt.”

And with that Blaine was gone, leaving behind Kurt, who couldn’t wait for Kate to get back and share the news with.

Soon enough the door opened, and Kate entered the room, a playful smile tugging at her mouth.

“Blaine was here.” Kurt started.

“I know.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, ran into him. What’s going on?”

“Well, dearest Kath, I think we’re going hiking next weekend…”