Kurt couldn’t get out of there fast enough… He could tell he wouldn’t be able to control his tears for long, but he didn’t need to anymore. The moment the door of Blaine’s flat closed behind him, he started running. Out of the building, away from the sudden shock, away from being so exposed. He ran, and ran, his feet taking and leading him like he was on autopilot. The walk there wasn’t long, so it should’ve taken even less for him to get home running, but his sobs forced him to stop every few minutes, demanding of him to collect himself a little before going on.

But strangely enough, by the time he got to their building something like ten minutes later, he regained his composure, almost fully. He realized the worst of it, for now, that is, was really the shock value. The force of the realization was so overwhelming that he felt absolutely vulnerable. Something similar that Blaine must have felt the previous day, playing the piano with so much passion. Kurt couldn’t help it in Blaine’s apartment, it was like experiencing an explosion. And he was sure processing that in the other boy’s presence wouldn’t have been fair or wise. To either of them.

So he left.

And ran home.

On his way, Kurt’s mind was reeling. He heard the echoes of his own words he uttered right before his left, parts of his impulsive little speech, but above those words were two that were louder, becoming a mantra as he was running. The list. The list. The list.

He needed peace, and he needed to look at the list. He couldn’t explain why, but he hoped going through the list would solve things. What exactly, he couldn’t tell…

So by the time he reached his dorm, with his newly calmed breathing and somewhat more relaxed state of mind he had one objective. To get back to his room, and take the little folded paper out of his wallet where he knew he put it a month ago. There was only one thing that skipped Kurt’s mind.

Kate.

Kurt entered their room with great ferocity, and didn’t really pay attention to ease the door. He crossed the room in the dark, and threw his messenger bag on the bed, starting to rummage through it for the wallet. But he wasn’t exactly quiet, so after a few seconds a feverish searching, he could hear Kate stir on the next bed. It suddenly dawned on him that a) he was a jackass for waking his roommate, and b) he was not in the mood for company. Well, that’s not exactly true. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to share everything with Kate, he just knew it’d go terribly wrong. Because he was too upset. Because she was half asleep. Because Kurt didn’t even know himself where to start. Because he was sure Kate would slightly panic at the view of his tear-stained face. And he really needed to be alone with that wretched piece paper right now.

“Kurt, is that you? What’s wrong, honey?” Kate said in a low, sleep-heavy voice, before Kurt could say a word. She already sensed something in the way Kurt was going through his things. Well, she did know the boy pretty well…

“Yeah, it’s me. Kath, I’m sorry for waking you. I’m the worst roommate ever. But everything’s fine, go back to sleep, baby. I’m sorry.” he added one more time, and made sure he stayed with his back to the girl’s bed, so his face wasn’t even looked at. “Kath, I’m gonna go for a walk, okay? I’ll be back in an hour. But I have my keys. Go back to sleep. I’ll be back.” And he didn’t even wait for the girl to react, he grabbed his keys, the piece of paper he fished out of his wallet somewhere in the middle of Kate’s awakening, and he was already crossing the room again, for the door. This time, he made sure to close it softly.

But it was of no use, the little storm Kurt created in their room was enough for Kate to lose all her sleepiness. It took him a minute or so and she was wide awake. And she was just about to reach for her phone and call Kurt, when the little device went off on itself, ringing loudly in the offensive tranquility of the room. Kate looked at the caller ID, hoping it was Kurt. Nope.

Blaine

“Blaine, what’s going on?” she asked, not even bothering to say hello. Her voice was still husky, even though her mind was already fresh and at work.

“Geez, Kate, I’m sorry, did I wake you?” the boy on the other end said, also skipping the formalities.

“No, it’s okay, don’t worry about it. Would you tell me what’s going on? Was Kurt with you? Did you hurt him?” Kate hated that this was her first idea, and she didn’t even presume Blaine to have done such a thing. But she knew by now that when it comes to Kurt, she can be a little too protective.

“What? No! Of course not!” Blaine said immediately, but then added in a more insecure voice. “Or gosh, I really hope not. I’d never hurt him intentionally, Kate, you have to know that.”

“Of course I know that, I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. What happened?” Kate’s voice was a little gentler now. But she still needed some sort of information. ASAP.

“I don’t really know… We were going to have a movie night. And we started talking. I mean, I wanted to apologize to him for something, but he didn’t let me finish, and he started sort of rambling…” At this point Blaine’s voice drifted off a little, as if he couldn’t help but be swept up in a precious memory. But he snapped back a second later. “And he sort of looked like he remembered something, and he was suddenly out of my flat. I ran after him and tried to call him, but he didn’t pick up, and I didn’t find him. And I hoped he was with you, or something.”

“Blaine, are you sure you didn’t say anything to hurt him?”

“I don’t think so. He didn’t look offended. He looked… he looked like he just realized something. I can’t put it in any other way.”

“And he didn’t say anything? He just left?”

“No, nothing. Well… he sort of said something, but it made no sense. He said something about a list.”

“A list?”

“Yeah. He said ‘the list’, and then he was gone.” Blaine said, getting more and more worried and puzzled and insecure. And it really didn’t help that after a few second of silence that seemed to be Kate thinking silence a soft chuckle hit his ear.

“What?” he asked, sort of impatient. It wasn’t really a good game for him right now.

“Blaine, I think I know what’s going on…” Kate said, much more relaxed that she was minutes ago.

“You do?”

“Well, yeah… I think.”

“And, what is it?” Blaine asked. Was she really making him beg for the information?

“I can’t, Blaine.”

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“I mean I can’t tell you. It’s not my place. I’m sorry.” Kath said. Blaine hesitated for the second, pondering his options, but Kate sounded like there was nothing to change her mind. Blaine felt defeated. Was he ever going to find out? “Tell you what. Kurt was here a few minutes ago, but only for a while. He left, he said he’d go for a walk, but he’d be back. I’ll tell him to call you when he gets back, okay? I think he needs a little breather. Let him be for a few hours. But I’ll make sure he calls you. Will that work?” she asked, her voice gentle and reassuring, and it worked. Miraculously. Blaine was still confused, but had no other choice, so if this was the best he could do…

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Thanks Kate. And make sure he’s… I don’t know. I hope he’s okay.” he said lamely.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Kate’s heart clenched at Blaine’s words. You’ll both be, she added in her head. “Talk to you later?”

“Yeah, bye.”

They hung up, and Blaine tried to be reasonable, forced himself to calm down a little, ad prepared for himself what he expected to be some of the longest hours of his life.

In the meantime Kurt was already roaming the pathways and grasses of the campus. He didn’t want to go too far from home, he did promise Kate to be back. Plus, he needed a place that was familiar enough that he could concentrate on his thoughts instead of where he was going. It was pleasantly calm, everywhere around him.

Not in his head, though.

He had so many things to think through. His own feelings, the changes he’s been through in the past few weeks, the possible changes that would come in the next few. He needed to think about himself, what he wanted, what he needed, what he wished for. And, among many other things, his big make-over a month ago was about him thinking of his own interests in the larger picture, so yeah, he knew he had things to deal with right now, but he wanted to have a feel of how they’d go in the long run.

Of course the whole thing was pretty challenging, given the fact that he found himself in an equation where he was only one of the unknowns. Blaine. He’s gotten to know so much about the boy in the short time he knew him. But now? Now Kurt felt himself in the dark. And well… maybe it was better this way. He could figure out what he felt and wanted. Without really knowing how Blaine would react.

Kurt thought back to the things Blaine said to him in his apartment. How Kurt has changed the boy… He felt a sense of pride at that idea, that he got so close to Blaine, that he was let so close to Blaine that he changed his ways in some regards. But more than pride, Kurt felt the rightness of this notion, because he himself was changed by Blaine. Oh yes. Kurt was pushed to his limits, in many sense, and Blaine challenged him in the best way possible. Yes, it was painful at times, but always for his benefit, he knew this. He learnt to listen and talk more next to him, he learnt to be able to through plans out the window and just roll with things, he learnt to channel his passions better.

And although these were significant things, ones that Kurt needed to experience and integrate, these were in no way re-shaping his core. And this realization was rather sweet when it occurred to Kurt. Why? Well, because it meant, he was flexible and open to new impulses, but had a very solid foundation. And that gave him a huge boost in confidence. The fact that he, Kurt Hummel, at the age of 22, was pretty okay, and found himself, well, that felt amazing.

And interestingly enough, it felt even greater to know, he achieved that without Blaine. Or Kate. Or anyone else. Not that they didn’t play a huge role in his life, they did, it just that Kurt didn’t need them per se to find and define himself. And gosh did that make him feel badass!

When he thought to that morning a month ago, at one of the tables in Cocoa, he remembered telling Kate that the list served several purposes. One was being a reminder that Kurt should stay away from mediocre relationships and mediocre men and mediocre everything. Another was to call attention to the fact that realizing what you want and need in life is a very self-defining moment. A very core-defining moment. Kurt wrote down those personality traits exactly because he knew that with wanting these things he defines where he stands in the world, and ultimately, who he is.

And Kurt didn’t regret that one bit.

Now, what he didn’t expect, let’s be honest, is for a man to come along, the very first day he decided to set his priorities, who would later turn out to be the personification of that oh-so-unrealistic wish-list.

And now that Kurt felt prepared to go through the list, two pretty frightening thoughts came to his mind. One, what if this is all a dream, a projection of some twisted fantasy, which is too perfect to be true. And two, gosh, this was even more frightening, what if it’s not a dream at all, but the beautiful reality, and Blaine is in fact everything he’s been looking for. He wasn’t sure he was prepared to answer these yet…

Except it kept bugging him, and his science-adoring brain kept telling him to go about this in a systematic fashion.

Okay, problem one. What if I just made it all up in my mind, and he’s a horrible person I endowed with imaginary traits? Well, he had an answer for that one, and he felt it to be right, because warmth spread through his chest when he realized it. He isn’t perfect. I’ve known him a month and I’ve seen him irrational, I’ve seen him moody, I’ve seen him hurtful. He’s far from being perfect. But he always was so quick to admit his own flaws, and to correct them, if he could. He dares to tumble, and tries to be better.

Problem two. Was Blaine really all of those things he put down on that list?

Okay, Hummel, you can do this. Just do it systematically.

Kurt reached a bench, and sat down for a few moments, and deciding to take matter in his hand. Literally. He fished out the piece of paper, and looked at it, for the first time in such a long time.

confident

Was Blaine confident? Kurt laughed out softly at this one. Yeah, right. Like that was even a question. The way he held himself, the way he spoke, the way he structured his speech, the way he turned to people, the way he dressed and laughed and walked. Yeah, Blaine was very okay with himself. Kurt remembered when he introduced the boy to his McKinley friends. Blaine aced that occasion, never really faltering in balancing formalities and his easy-going nature. It was so easy to be swept away by Blaine’s charisma. Kurt quickly moved on to the next one.

sensitive

He was. One of the very first things Kurt got to know about Blaine was his involvement in LGBT issues. And that was kind of expected, but Blaine was always vocal about accepting otherness, in whatever shape it emerged. And Kurt always felt a huge amount of respect for that. (He sort of ignored the fact that he himself believed in the same things, it wasn’t important now.) And when Kurt called attention to his judgmental behavior towards the suicidal girl at the Pride, Blaine was the first to admit how that’s double standard, and felt awful about it. Yes, Blaine had the sensitivity of an artist, and of a warm, accepting human being.

knows what he believes in and sticks to that

Absolutely. Kurt knew it was rare to meet people who shared his open-mindedness, but was even rarer to come across somebody who was vocal about it, and didn’t shy away from taboo-topics, and challenging conversations. Blaine stood up for what he believed, every chance he got. Not in an aggressive way, but firmly. And Kurt never took that trait in him for granted. He always liked to witness when Blaine expressed his unfaltering beliefs.

self-reflective

Blaine was a nice combination of the artist and the intellectual. And whatever crossed his mind or occupied his soul, he made sure to be aware of that. He remembered Blaine apologizing to him for being unpredictable and flashing out on him in a bad mood. But he also remembered the text about losing his sight, and how Blaine knew what he was feeling and doing all the time.

intelligent

Another big smile on Kurt’s face. He knew clever guys, he even dated a few. But none was so impressively quick-witted and smart as Blaine. He was interested in many different things, and had a way of looking at the world that dealt with these different interest field separately, if needed, but could also merge them and combine them, if the occasion called. Kurt remembered precisely how his jaw often dropped at Blaine’s vocabulary, and knowledge, and how he tried to soak up everything he could from the boy. He never believed the amount of reading was in close correlation with one’s intelligence, but now that he recalled, the first time Blaine was nice to him was in Prospero’s, and one of their first bonding experience was over books. Kurt liked that image. He and Blaine, in a book shop, talking about literature for hours. That’d be amazing.

his eyes are doing things to you

Oh wow. If he didn’t have a clue about that before, he knew it for sure now. Just an hour or so ago he was standing mere feet away from Blaine, staring into those beautiful honey orbs, drowning, forgetting his pure reason. But he remembered other times as well. He remembered clearly the reaction of his body when Blaine gazed into his eyes intensely. And he did that pretty often. It was nice. Well, maybe nice wasn’t the best word. More often than not Blaine’s eyes took Kurt’s breath away. Not the color, or the adorable wrinkles, or the lashed. Although these were beautiful, too. Rather how everything, everything Blaine was, it was there in his eyes. Shining, radiating. Kurt didn’t regret blurting this to Blaine at his flat. But only now did he realize how much truth this held. Doing things to me? he thought. Well, yeah. They could make or break me…

good communicator

The trip Blaine took Kurt and Kate on with his friends. That was proof enough. Kurt knew it back then, but was nice to remember, Blaine did an incredible job balancing many people from all different fields of his life. He knew how to talk to people, he knew how to handle them. The McKinley guys as well. And when Kurt didn’t make his job too difficult, he knew what to tell Kurt, too.

exciting

Wow, that’s an understatement. Blaine always had fresh ideas, he was always impossible to predict, and he always made the best of everything he was given. If he needed a new suit, he’s make it a shopping party, if they reached a playground, he’d drag Kurt in. If they weren’t very hungry, he’s convince Kurt to eat ice-cream with him. He’d go on trips, and play games, and challenge Kurt and himself. Constantly. And Kurt had soooo much fun during it all. Plus he cherished the balance Blaine kept between the deep, serious stuff and the light, humorous things. And Kurt laughed so much when he was around. And he made sure Kurt felt how important it was to laugh that much.

makes me feel safe

Kurt will never forget the encounter with that asshole at the playground. Blaine was there, unwilling to shut up, and showing Kurt how ready he is to protect him, or if not protecting him, showing that he’s not alone. Never alone. But that wasn’t all. The way Blaine concentrated on Kurt every time they were together made Kurt feel so secure in their friendship as well. He didn’t have to meditate about inequalities and insecurities. He could be enthusiastic about their relationship, and knew Blaine would be, too. And that felt amazing.

loves me

Kurt reached the last item on the list. So far it was pretty clear. Yes, Blaine was an amazing man. Kurt knew that before, and was even surer now that he got the time to think it through. But thus last one? Actually there was one thing he felt looking at the last word on the list. That is why I’m only doing this now.

Kurt could recall clearly one more motive behind writing the list in the first place. He wanted to protect his own heart. He got fed up with being either unhappy, or bored, or disappointed, and he felt that if he concentrated on himself, instead of others, he’d be better off. Yes, he believed in that. And yes, part of him wanted ten items on that list because he was so sure nobody would ever live up to that. No way.

But now. Here he was. Thinking about Blaine, and realizing that the boy was everything he’s ever dreamed of. Except for the last item.

He never dared to think through how perfect Blaine was, one, because he was convinced all he needed for his happiness was himself. But two, because that way he could avoid this situation. He could avoid the realization that indeed, he found his perfect match, except said match didn’t return his sentiments.

And this just sucked.

But surprisingly enough, Kurt didn’t feel crushed. A months ago he probably would’ve said, he can’t every expose himself like this ever again. Being at somebody’s mercy was exactly what he wanted to avoid. But now, now that he thought of it, he couldn’t help but think that this was okay.

Would it be anyone else but Blaine, he’d be devastated. Falsely. He’d think that their friendship was wasted, that he was doomed, and that he wasn’t careful enough.

But Blaine? He couldn’t think about Blaine in any other way but as a blessing. A pure miracle he was lucky to encounter. No matter what happened next, no matter how much he’d have to suppress his emotions to remain friends with him, he’d do it. He was soooooo worth it!

And this hit Kurt with such a force that a cathartic laugh broke out of him. He was happy. Perfectly happy.

There was no scenario where Kurt having Blaine in his life, in whatever capacity, would make the boy miserable, or unhappy. And he was so sure of this that nothing else mattered. Kurt didn’t ignore or dismiss the changes his own life took in the past weeks independent of Blaine. He did do a great job searching for himself, and was standing securely on his own two feet. Blaine was a huge part of his life, his soul now, but was in no way the master and commander of Kurt’s emotions. Which freed Kurt even more, and made his affections towards the boy even truer, purer.

And made Kurt laugh. A healthy, joyous, blissful laugh.

When this cathartic moment subsided, Kurt decided it was time to go home. He knew he had to talk to Blaine eventually, he did leave in a rush after all. But didn’t want to make any haste decisions. He wanted to go home, and relax. So that’s exactly what he did.

When he opened the door to their room, very carefully this time, he was surprised to see that all light were up, and Kath was sitting Indian-style on her bed, reading something, but finely attuned to any movements of the door, and flying to Kurt the minute he walked in.

“Kurt, are you gonna tell me what happened? Are you okay? What’s going on? Blaine called, and he was worried sick, and said you didn’t pick up your phone.”

“Shit!” Kurt said, surprising the girl with his uncontrolled manner. “I left my phone at his flat…” He said explaining, and Kate’s mouth formed a little o in understanding.

“Okay, we can deal with that later, but Kurt, baby, can you tell me what happened?”

“Um, actually… Kath, I want to, I really really want to, but I don’t think I can. I realized some things tonight, which I’m sure you already knew, but I just can’t verbalize them to you. I need to talk to Blaine first. Is that okay? Are you mad?”

“Of course not, Kurt, do whatever feels right. Just please, tell me you’re okay.”

“Yeah. I am. More than okay.” Kurt answered, with a soft but genuine smile.

“Well, I guess you need to get your phone now, anyway…”

“Um, I guess. I’m not sure it’s such a great idea, it is pretty late…”

“Kurt, go. Please. He won’t sleep, you won’t sleep, heck, I won’t sleep. Just go.”

“Okay.” Kurt said in a low voice. He wasn’t worried per se, nor sad. He just needed to find the right way to talk to Blaine. But maybe he could make this work. And yes, he did leave his phone there…

He said good bye to Kath, and went to make the short journey to Blaine’s flat, the third time that evening.

By the time he reached his door, he made a decision. He’d have to explain himself to Blaine for leaving so abruptly. And well, he sort of has to include the list, but probably not as it is, because that might just freak Blaine the heck out. But the bottom line is, he’d come clean. He needed to tell Blaine how he felt, if for no other reason, than to remain perfectly honest with this man who always honored him with the same. And yes, Blaine might not feel the same for him, but that’s okay. He will ask him to still be his friend, if he’s not too distracted by Kurt’s feelings, because he’d rather push his emotionsto the back and bottom of his heart than stay away from this amazing connection he hoped they had. Okay, you can do this, Kurt. You know how much this man means to you. Show him.

He raised his hand, and knocked on the door.

Blaine opened the door after a few second. He looked like he was running to answer the door, and he wasn’t really surprised. He seemed to expect Kurt, or rather, he seemed to hope, very much so, that the person standing there would be him.

“Hey.” Kurt said with a shy smile.

“Hi.” Blaine’s eyes were roaming between Kurt’s. He was looking for something. For some cue, perhaps. “You didn’t pick up.” He said finally.

“I couldn’t.” Kurt said simply, and when he saw his sentence puzzled Blaine further, he smiled slightly wider, and without a word, pointed in the direction of the TV and the table next to the DVD shelves.

“Oh.” was all the other boy could utter. “Well, do you wanna come in?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

Blaine opened the door a little wider, and let Kurt in. Kurt went to the table first, to grab his phone. He put it in his pocket, and joined Blaine, who was now sitting in the sofa opposite the television set. They turned towards each other comfortably.

“Kurt.” Blaine said his name, and paused right after. He was weighing his options, but decided to just go for it. “Katy told me to ask you about the list. Can I?”

“I’m not sure if it makes any difference at this point…” And Kurt did believe that. The list or its actual content wasn’t of utmost importance right now. He needed it, for himself, to process everything. But Blaine? Kurt still wasn’t sure if he’d take it the best way… He was trying to figure out how to paraphrase the significance of the list, when Blaine, who seemed to accept Kurt’s words, spoke.

“Well, then here’s something I hope does make a difference.” Kurt was pulled out of his thoughts, and looked at Blaine expectantly. He didn’t know what the boy would say, but he knew where he stood, and that was enough for now. “Kurt, you never let me finish what I wanted to say earlier this evening.” Well, Kurt definitely didn’t expect that. He totally forgot.

“Oh my god, that’s right. I’m sorry. I’m listening.” he said quickly. He wasn’t sure if Blaine would change the subject once and for all, but he was okay either way.

“Well, as I was telling you before, I wanted to apologize for leaving u there yesterday.”

“Blaine, I said it was okay.” Kurt interrupted, but was silenced by Blaine’s pleading look. Please, let me say this, he read in the boy’s eyes.

“I told you I was overwhelmed. With gratitude. But that wasn’t all… I figured out something, and it sort of knocked me off my feet…” Blaine paused, and took a deep calming breath. His voice did come out a little shaky, and Kurt knew he had to be patient. He’d continue when he was ready. And he did. “Kurt, I’m in love with you. And it’s more powerful than anything I’ve ever felt before. I’ve known it for a while now. Actually, the moment I got the picture I took of you in my hand, that was when I just knew. Weeks ago. But I didn’t, I couldn’t understand how much. And yesterday, after everything, it just hit me. I realized I never want to spend another day of my life without you being there with me. And I had to leave. The idea that you might not feel the same way broke my heart. But the moment I got home I knew I’d do anything to even have the slightest chance at happiness with you. So I had to tell you. I needed you to know. Kurt, you’re amazing, and I know with every fiber of my being that I love you like I’ve never loved before, and never will again.”

Kurt was silent, and didn’t want to break the perfectness of the moment. Listening to Blaine he felt himself being filled with joy, gratitude, warmth. The moment Blaine said he was in love with Kurt, the boy felt himself in absolute heaven. But Blaine went on, and with his pretty eloquent speech gave time for Kurt to gain his composure. However, after Blaine stopped, Kurt needed the few second of silence for everything to sink in.

He tilted his head softly, he felt his eyes getting misty, but hoped Blaine knew it was out of happiness. Kurt smiled, the gentlest, purest smile he could manage, and lifted his hand, to the stunning face of the boy sitting opposite him. He cupped his cheek softly, and stared into his eyes. Still not breaking the silence he just stared and stared, and smiled, and couldn’t get enough of this image, this feeling.

“Blaine. My dearest, beautiful, perfect Blaine.” he said, which earned him a painfully innocent smile from the dark haired young man. “I think you might need to see the list after all.” And with that Kurt fished out the crinkled little piece of paper, and held it out for Blaine to take.

Blaine looked into Kurt’s eyes, as if asking if he was sure, but Kurt gave a tiny nod, and Blaine straightened the list, so he could look at it. He quickly read through it, but wasn’t sure he understood the significance. SO Kurt explained.

“A month ago I sat down with Kath, and told her that I had a list of all the things I’d want in my future partner. I tried to come up with something that was true but also quite unrealistic, because I didn’t want to settle for anything less anymore. So this is basically how I imagine the perfect man. I told Kath I’d never allow myself to feel too much for anybody who lacks any of these things.” He paused for a second to see if Blaine was following him. He was. “But tonight. Blaine, tonight, when I told you all the things I think make you great… can’t you remember? These were the exact things I told you. That’s why I left so abruptly. This was the first time I put two and two together in my head.”

“But why did you leave then? Why not stay, and tell me all about it?”

“Look at the last item, Blaine. I guess subconsciously I feared your reaction, because I didn’t want to allow myself to feel anything for someone, however perfect they may seem, if they didn’t feel something for me.” Kurt stopped. There was so many things he still needed to say. “Blaine. I went for a walk, and thought about this a lot. I figured out that the list is what it is. Elements, personality traits. And yes, I’ve known for a while, even if I didn’t realize, you had them all. But tonight I had to face the fact that there is something, unexplainable, and unfathomable that holds all those together, and without which you wouldn’t be the same. I can’t name it, but I feel it with everything I am. I came back to tell you that I don’t care about the last item. I came back to tell you that no matter what, with or without the last thing, I want to be your friend, because even if you tell me we’ll be nothing more, the good will always outweigh the bad. Being in your presence will always brighten my world. Blaine, I came back to tell you that having you in my life makes me unbelievably happy, and I’d do anything for that to never change. I’d even make you forget, if that’s what it takes for us to remain friends, make you forget my confession that Blaine, I am deeply and passionately in love with you.”

Kurt’s eyes were boring into Blaine’s, he never wanted to break the eye-contact ever again. Because he had the luxury of saying these words with the knowledge that Blaine returned his feelings, and Kurt didn’t have to worry about losing the boy ever again.

“Don’t. Don’t ever make me forget how you feel, Kurt. In fact, I want you to tell me, every minute of every day. Please.” Blaine breathed, pleading, but voice not weak at all. Smooth and soothing, he asked only because he knew he could promise the same.

“I love you.” Kurt said.

“I love you.” Blaine replied.

They sat there in silence, nothing left to say. And so much left to say. They sat, looking into each other’s eyes, glasz drowning in honey, honey getting lost in glasz. And they smiled, the softest most loving of smiles.

Until their bodies, two separated poles of a magnet, gradually shifted towards each other, comfortably, cozily, in a familiar yet unknown way. The pounding of their hearts grew louder and louder, until there were only inches separating them. Kurt reached for Blaine’s palm and placed it above his heart, while he put his own gently on Blaine’s chest. The music of their heartbeat gave the last ounce of courage they needed to close the distance between their souls, and their lips met in the most exciting, most delicious, most desired kiss either of them had ever had.