Aug. 12, 2013, 12:34 p.m.
Healing Hearts: Ease my troubled heart
E - Words: 4,813 - Last Updated: Aug 12, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 35/? - Created: Sep 12, 2011 - Updated: Aug 12, 2013 1,272 0 1 0 0
Blaine didn't like the room. The white walls barely had any decoration on it. It was all work and no play. Cold and sterile. Just like his father.
His dad sat behind desk, leafing through a document and scratching his beard. The tall, grey haired man didn't acknowledge Blaine's presence.
"Dad."
Bruce's head snapped up and his piercing blue eyes met Blaine's. He removed his reading glasses and threw them on the desk.
"Hello Blaine… I didn't expect to see you here tonight? What can I do for you? Or is this just a family visit?"
Blaine didn't miss the fact that his father hadn't even asked him to take a seat. So he just placed his hands on the desk and leaned forward.
"You can start by telling me what you're up to." He hissed.
Bruce raised one eyebrow and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms. "I have no idea what you're talking about… care to elaborate?"
Blaine scowled.
"No problem! Mind telling me why Robert's daughter is currently doing an internship on our ward?"
Blaine's father just continued staring at Blaine, not saying a word.
Blaine yanked back a chair and plunked himself down. "I'm not leaving till you give me answers, dad."
Bruce snorted and shook his head.
"You were always a stubborn little kid… Fine then. Not that it's any of your business, but Robert asked me if I could arrange an internship for Stephanie at LCH. So I did. What's the problem? Is she doing a bad job?"
"Oh no… she's doing a fantastic job… at trying to come between me and Kurt! Did you put her up to that?"
"Kurt. Right. Kurt Hummel. That's… that nurse you went to New York with… isn't it?" Bruce asked.
"You know very well who Kurt is. He's my boyfriend! You intimidated him on the phone!" Blaine shouted.
"Your boyfriend… yes…" Bruce sighed deeply.
"So what happened?" Blaine scowled. "You did her a favor and you figured she owed you one in return? You know, dad… I'm really tired of that game. You did the same thing when I was with Steve. Pushing all those girls into my direction."
"I was looking out for you, you ungrateful little shit!" Bruce snarled. "You were confused back then, and I was trying to help you get your act together! Like any father would do for his son!"
"What? Do you even believe that yourself? You can't be serious…" Blaine shook his head in disbelief.
"I am dead serious! Look Blaine… I understand that you're confused after that nasty divorce and Liz taking off with Lily; which frankly, could've been avoided if you'd just let me-"
"Let you what? Blackmail her? Take custody from her? I've told you once and again, I don't play that kind of games with people! She's the mother of my child and Lily needs her!"
Bruce held his hands up. "Whatever… But my point is, Blaine, that all of this has clearly affected you very badly. You've turned to fooling around with boys again. And yes; I have asked Stephanie to… well, point out that there are other possibilities too. That there are better choices to be made, if you will."
"Fooling around with boys? Are you fucking kidding me? I LOVE Kurt! You KNOW I'm bisexual! You KNOW this hasn't anything to do with me being confused!"
"Do I really know, Blaine? Have you forgotten about Steve? After he left, you met Liz and everything turned out okay! You married her and you were normal for ten years!"
Blaine was speechless. He couldn't believe this. He never realized his father thought this way.
"So in case you're wondering… I did send Stephanie your way, and I did it because I love you. I want you to get your life back on the right track. I succeeded at doing it all those years ago, and I'm trying to do it again right now!"
"What?" Blaine snapped out of his shock. "What do you mean you succeeded?"
His dad shrugged. "I got Steve out of the picture, didn't I?"
"No you didn't! Steve and I broke up because he went to-"
Suddenly Blaine felt like he'd received a blow in the gut. "Oh… oh my God… you had something to do with that scholarship he got… didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?" Blaine roared, slamming his fist on the table.
Bruce just nodded. Blaine jumped out of his chair and hunched over the desk.
"I can't believe you did that! You broke us up! I loved him and you fucking ruined everything! And you say you did it out of LOVE! That is just sick!" He turned away from the desk and started pacing through the room.
"That's not sick!" Bruce protested. "Fucking boys, that's what's really-"
"DON'T!" Blaine bellowed, turning briskly towards his dad again. "DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT!" He pointed aggressively at him.
Blaine ran his hands through his hair and blinked back tears of anger and frustration. "You don't love me. You don't even know what love is, dad…" he spat out the last word. "Love means accepting someone, no matter what, and supporting them, and wanting them to be happy. That's what Kurt and I have. You don't want me to be happy… you just want me to live my life as you see fit. That's not love… it's selfishness."
His father gave him a pitying look. "You really don't understand, do you?"
"No, I don't!" Blaine yelled. "And I never will! I don't WANT to understand what's going on in your head, because it's plain crazy!" He took a deep breath. "I just… I don't even know who you are anymore…" He whispered sadly.
Bruce said nothing.
Blaine pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Look… just back off, okay? Stay away from me and Kurt, and don't try to interfere." He dropped his hand and glared at his father. "As long as you can't accept me as I am… I don't want you in my life anymore." He turned around and was about to open the door when his father called his name.
"Blaine… this isn't over. I won't let you ruin your own life."
Blaine shook his head but didn't turn around. "No dad. I won't let you ruin my life."
And with that, he exited the room, slamming the door behind him.
Blaine ran off the stairs and stalked to the front door. He needed to get out of there. He needed to get to Kurt.
"Blaine!"
He stopped and turned around. His mom was standing in the doorway of the living room.
"Blaine, sweetie… what's wrong?"
Blaine hesitated for a second; then moved towards her.
"Mom…" His voice cracked. "Mom, did you know about it? Have you known all along?"
His mother frowned. "Known about what?"
"About what he did to me!" Blaine yelled, not caring that his father could probably hear him. "To me and Steve! And about what he's trying to do to me and Kurt! He gave his golf buddy's daughter an internship on our ward, and after he found out about Kurt and me; he ordered her to cause trouble between us!"
Blaine pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. He felt woozy.
His mother stepped closer and laid her hand on his shoulder. "Blaine, sweetie, are you alright?"
"No…" He croaked. "I'm not alright… Did you know he arranged that scholarship for Steve? He… he fucking destroyed our relationship…"
After a moment of silence, Blaine dropped his hands and glared at his mother. "Well? Did you? Did you KNOW, mom?"
"I…" His mother looked away. The guilt in her eyes told Blaine all he needed to know.
"Mom… you too? You were in on this?" In a sudden, violent gesture, Blaine pulled her hand off of his shoulder and stepped back. "I can't believe you…" He shook his head. "This is so fucked up." He muttered.
"Blaine!" His mom cried. She took a step towards her son, but halted as he threw his hands up in a defensive gesture. "Blaine… sweetie… your dad; he only wanted to help you… you know he can get a bit… overbearing when it comes to things like this."
"Oh my God, mom! I can't believe you're sticking up for him. How can you defend what he did to me! How can you support him in this? You're my mother! You're supposed to support ME! You're supposed to LOVE me!" Blaine's voice broke, and he scrunched his eyes, trying very hard not to burst out in tears.
"But I do love you, sweetie." His mother whispered in a meek voice. "I want you to be happy. I couldn't… your father, you know how he can be… I couldn't stop him from doing what he did." She shrugged. "And you were happy with Liz, right? It all worked out, well until the divorce… but you got Lily out of it. Surely you don't regret your marriage to Liz?"
Blaine felt like he wanted to break something. "That is NOT the point! The point is he can't accept me being in love with a man! And he'll move heaven and earth to make sure I don't, even if it means ripping out my heart and stomping on it! He doesn't give a fuck about my happiness… about my life! And neither do you!"
"Blaine…" his mother tried one last time.
"No! Mom… just… no… Leave me alone…" he said brokenly. He threw one last scolding look at his mother; turned around and fled from the house.
The house that had never truly been his home.
He just wanted to go home.
To Kurt.
Blaine barely made it to the car without breaking down. But once he got behind the wheel, he couldn't hold back any longer.
Hot, bitter tears rolled over his cheek while his body wracked with sobs.
He'd been betrayed and humiliated by his own parents. His own mom and dad; the people who'd brought him into this world… they thought he was a freak. A failure.
But why? Was he really that awful? Why did everybody just dump him like he was a worthless piece of trash? Steve had left… Liz had left, together with Lily… and his parents were treating him without any respect. Why couldn't they just love him?
He'd never be good enough for anyone. Except… Kurt loved him. Kurt would never throw him aside. Right? Oh God… what if Kurt decided he wasn't good enough either? What if he didn't deserve him?
Blaine choked back the rest of his tears, wiped his eyes with a tissue and blew his nose. He sniffed and turned the ignition.
He needed Kurt. No way in hell was he going to lose that boy. Never.
Kurt was staring into the bathroom mirror. He'd just gotten out of the shower and was wearing a pair of gray sweatpants.
He ran a hand through his wet hair and studied his bare chest.
Not quite the sixteen-year-old anymore.
He crossed his arms over his chest and grasped his upper arms with his hands. Squeezing lightly, he felt the well defined muscles, tense and taut under his skin. One of his hands traveled over his shoulder and collar bone up to his throat, and then onto his cheek.
How he had changed over the years. Not a frail teenage boy anymore, but a strong, grown man. The soft, baby like features of his face had become a lot sharper. The proportions of his body were different too. He was taller and leaner. His shoulders were broader.
Kurt dropped his hand onto the sink countertop. Yeah… he'd changed a lot in those ten years.
Not only on the outside.
He quickly threw on a white T-shirt when he heard the doorbell.
Still barefoot, he hurried towards the door and opened it. Blaine was leaning against the doorframe, with a dull look in his eyes. He had been crying.
"Blaine? Hi…" Kurt stepped aside to let Blaine pass through the door. "What's wrong?" He asked, while he closed the door and gave Blaine a quick kiss in greeting.
Blaine shook his head, averting his eyes. "Not now… later…" He looked at Kurt again. "How are you feeling, baby?" He whispered, as they both walked into the living room.
Kurt nodded. "Not too bad actually. Today has been… well, a relief of sorts." He shrugged. "I just took a long shower. I feel relaxed." He said with a small grin.
They both sat down on the couch.
"Have you eaten dinner yet? I've made pasta, there is enough left if you want to." Kurt offered.
Blaine rested his head against the couch. "No thanks. I'm not hungry."
Okay, something was definitely off. Blaine usually ate like a horse.
Kurt scooted closer and turned towards Blaine. Folding one leg beneath him, and draping his body against Blaine's side, he rested his head next to Blaine's.
"What's wrong baby?"
Blaine swallowed and stared at the ceiling. "I am such an idiot…" He breathed.
Kurt frowned. "Why would you say that?" He grasped Blaine's cheek and forced him to meet his eyes. "Talk to me, Blaine… please."
Fresh tears started to appear in Blaine's eyes. Blinking them away, he parted his lips and covered Kurt's mouth with his. He moaned brokenly at the touch and took advantage of the small gasp Kurt let out to deepen the kiss. In one swift movement he was on top of Kurt, straddling him and fisting both his hands in the wet tresses of Kurt's hair.
Kurt knew he had to stop this. A voice in the back of his mind kept screaming 'no', but his body was shouting 'yes'. Blaine's kisses and the feeling of their bodies pressed together made it extremely hard to focus.
"I love you so much…" Blaine gasped against Kurt's mouth. "Please tell me you love me too… please…" He captured Kurt's lips again with a desperate sob.
Kurt frowned and turned his head slightly, breaking the kiss. Blaine didn't stop. He continued a trail of wet, open mouthed kisses along Kurt's jaw and neck, while panting heavily. "Of course I love you baby. And I want you, but you're upset, honey."
Kurt gently tried to push Blaine back a bit, but his boyfriend didn't seem to notice. Blaine just started breathing heavier and ran his hands all over Kurt's body, under his T-shirt, while he was still licking and biting at Kurt's neck. "Blaine… stop for a minute, please… we really need to talk."
"No…" Blaine gasped. "Please don't push me away… I want you… I need you to love me…" He was panting like he'd just run a marathon.
An alarm bell went off in Kurt's head.
Shit. Why hadn't he realized before?
"Blaine! Stop it!" He gave Blaine a forceful shove and quickly grabbed his shoulders to stop him from falling to the floor. He eased his boyfriend into a lying position on the couch, and quickly kneeled next to him.
"What… what are you doing?" Blaine panted, looking dazed.
"You're having a panic attack, baby. Just calm down, okay?" Kurt said in a steady voice. He had to stop Blaine from hyperventilating, or else he would faint.
"Breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth... Just breathe easy… slow it down…" He cupped Blaine's jaw with his hand to shut his mouth a bit more, and with his other hand he started stroking his curls in a soothing motion. "Shhhhh… relax… I love you so much… don't worry, everything will be okay, just breathe slowly… that's it…"
The panic slowly ebbed away from Blaine's eyes, as his breathing started to slow down. Kurt kept stroking his hair and continued to mutter sweet nothings to his boyfriend.
A few minutes later, Blaine's breathing had returned to normal. He was looking at Kurt with hooded eyes. "I am so sorry…" He croaked. A stray tear leaked from his eye, landing on the couch pillow. "I can't believe I did that to you…" He closed his eyes in shame.
Kurt shook his head. "You have nothing to be sorry about, sweetie. You weren't yourself, you were freaking out."
Blaine opened his eyes and grasped Kurt's hand, pressing it to his mouth.
"Are you feeling better now?" Kurt smiled.
Blaine nodded. "Yeah... I guess." He answered with a smile of his own.
"That's good." Kurt got to his feet. "Because now I'm going to get you a glass of water and a plate of food, and you will eat something. And after that, we will talk."
Kurt had never been happier to see Blaine eat. He didn't finish all of the pasta, but he ate enough to stop Kurt from worrying. After dinner, they resumed their places on the couch, and Blaine filled him in on everything that had happened at his parents' house. He talked about it in a detached, monotone voice, but Kurt saw the emotion playing in his eyes.
Kurt couldn't believe Blaine's parents would be so devious. Once again, he realized how blessed he was with his own parents. He felt sorry for his boyfriend. And angry at his parents. How could they do this to their own child?
"Blaine… I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this. You're such a wonderful, extraordinary man. It hurts me to know that your own parents are too blind to see that." He reached out and stroked his cheek.
"Kurt, I'm sorry about freaking out on you." Blaine leaned into the touch. "I just need you." He shook his head. "I just realized… you're all I have left. I have no friends, no family, well, nobody that matters… and my daughter is on the other side of this planet…" He looked at Kurt with a desperate look in his eyes. "I only have you… and I love you so much. But I am so, so sorry. I know you had a terrible day, and I just made it worse."
Kurt sighed.
"No Blaine… listen to me, okay? You're the one who helped me through it all. You helped me face my fears today. And not only today… I owe you everything. Without you, I would be still be broken and sad. You really have no idea what you did to me, do you? How your love has changed me in just a matter of weeks?"
He sat up and took Blaine's hand in his. "But baby, now you have to let me help you. Let me be the strong one."
Blaine chuckled softly. "You're incredible, you know that? How are you going to help me?" He smiled.
Kurt raised from the couch and offered his hand to Blaine. "I'm going to help you relax. Follow me."
Kurt led Blaine to his bedroom and made him sit on one side of the bed. He took a large towel out of his closet and spread it over the bedcover.
"Take of your clothes and lie down on the towel. On your stomach." He said softly, drawing the curtains shut and turning on the bedside lamp.
"Well, so much for romance…" Blaine quipped.
Kurt rolled his eyes and snorted. "Just do it."
Blaine obeyed and stripped down to his boxer briefs. "Aren't you going to take your clothes of?" He teased, moving towards Kurt.
Kurt chuckled and took off his T-Shirt and sweatpants. "There. Happy?"
Blaine hummed and enveloped Kurt in his arms, hugging him tightly and sniffing his hair. "You smell divine…" He groaned.
Kurt whimpered softly. He placed his hands on Blaine's shoulders and gently pulled away from the embrace.
"Blaine… I know this has been a rough day for both of us. This morning, when I was sitting on that rooftop, I wanted to run away from it all. With you." He added quickly, seeing a hint of distress in those hazel eyes.
"I actually wanted to take the next flight back to New York, because everything seemed so much better and easier there. But you pulled me through it. You made me realize I was strong enough; and that there was no reason to flee. It's your love Blaine…" He brought his hands up to Blaine's face. "Your love is everything to me, because it's helping me to find my strengths again, and to deal with my weaknesses. You are helping me to become Kurt Hummel again. The real one, not the faded copy I've been these past years."
Blaine shook his head softly. "You are giving me way too much credit, Kurt."
Kurt smirked and lowered his hands. "You don't believe me? Fine. Then I'll just have to show you. Turn around...". He gave Blaine a little nudge.
"Um… okay." Blaine turned around and Kurt snaked his hands around his waist, hugging Blaine from behind.
"You know I love you." He breathed against Blaine's cheek. "You know it, because I tell you at least fifty times a day." They both chuckled lightly.
"But I think you need more right now. That's why I'm going to make you feel it. I want you to feel how much I love you… every square inch of you. So don't think, just feel… okay?"
Blaine closed his eyes and hummed in response. He gasped as he felt Kurt sink to his knees, pressing a string of tantalizing kisses down his spine, while running his hands over his sides. Kurt hooked his fingers below the waistband of Blaine's boxer briefs, and pulled them down to his ankles, urging him to step out of them.
Blaine turned around and looked down at Kurt with lust filled eyes. Kurt smiled coyly. "Get on the bed… face down."
Ignoring the arousal he felt at those words, Blaine obeyed and climbed onto the bed; stretching out on the bath towel and resting his head on his folded arms. He was lying face down, so he couldn't see what Kurt was doing. He heard the sound of a drawer being opened and closed, and then he felt the movement of the mattress as Kurt joined him on the bed.
A moan escaped his lips as Kurt straddled him. "Kurt…" He said huskily.
"Shhhhhhh…" Kurt hushed him.
Blaine heard a bottle being uncapped and a soft, squirting sound. He tensed and his head snapped up. He didn't know if he was ready for this. "Kurt… um… I-".
"Relax, baby." Kurt said. "It's not what you think."
"Oh… okay…" Blaine dropped his head back onto his arms, wondering what his boyfriend was up to.
And then he didn't have to wonder anymore, because all of a sudden Kurt's hands were sliding all over his back and shoulders, to the back of his neck, and down again… caressing… massaging… touching… kneading…
It was absolutely divine.
Heaven.
Kurt paid attention to every patch of skin, every muscle, every spot of Blaine's body he could reach from his position. He slid his palms down either side of Blaine's spine, and back up again, slowly spreading the massage oil into his skin. He varied between making long, slow, sweeping circles and smaller, sharper, kneading movements.
Blaine groaned in delight as he felt his body melt into Kurt's touch. All the anxiety was slowly but surely leaving his body… and his mind. He couldn't do anything but feel. And all he could feel was Kurt… taking care of him. Loving him. He was barely aware of the steady stream of whimpers and quiet moans that escaped his lips.
It was overwhelming, as if his body and mind had become one, and both were connected to Kurt at that moment.
After what seemed like hours, Blaine felt Kurt moving down. He recognized the sound of the oil bottle being opened and closed again. And then Kurt started to massage his calves, every much as devoted and lovingly as he'd done his upper body.
Kurt took his sweet time to make his way up Blaine's legs and thighs.
He finally finished by brushing his hands lightly over Blaine's butt cheeks and pressing a kiss on the dip of his lower back.
Kurt slipped off the bed and removed his own boxer briefs, before climbing back on it. He stretched out and lowered his body onto Blaine's, covering him entirely and enveloping him with his arms. It was both erotic and tender.
"Can you feel me, Blaine? Can you feel my love for you?" He muttered into his boyfriends ear.
Blaine raised his head and turned his gaze towards Kurt. "Yes… I feel it." He croaked, and leaned further back to meet Kurt's soft, pliant lips in a gentle kiss.
Kurt entwined his fingers through Blaine's hair and darted his tongue out to tease Blaine into opening his mouth. When he did, Kurt slipped his tongue inside and the kiss became deeper and more intense with every passing moment. After a little while, Blaine couldn't hold the awkward angle anymore and he tore away from the kiss, dropping his head back on the bed. Kurt continued kissing Blaine's neck and shoulder.
Blaine had never felt this way. Their bodies seemed fused together. They were as one. He wanted to melt into Kurt. He wanted to be inside Kurt.
No.
He wanted Kurt to be inside of him.
The realization caused him to moan and roll his hips back against Kurt, slowly and repeatedly. "Kurt…" He whispered. "Make love to me… I want you in me."
Kurt's breath caught in his chest. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. Make me feel, baby. Please." Blaine groaned, still moving his hips instinctively towards Kurt's.
Kurt kissed Blaine's cheek. "Don't move. I'll take care of you." He kissed his way slowly down Blaine's back. Blaine spread his legs open, so Kurt could kneel between them.
Kurt sat back on his haunches and grabbed the discarded bottle of massage oil. He coated his fingers and looked down at Blaine, who was still lying face down. Bending down, he kissed Blaine's temple and whispered "I love you".
Blaine groaned as Kurt slowly pushed his finger inside. He'd almost forgotten how it felt to be penetrated. He bit his lip and tensed up.
"Shhhhhhhh… relax baby." Kurt cooed, and Blaine let out a shaky breath as he relaxed around the intrusion.
"That's it…" Kurt breathed. "Just open up for me… Let me in…"
Blaine let out a wanton moan and pushed back on Kurt's finger.
Kurt continued to prepare his boyfriend gently, whispering encouragements and sweet nothings to him. When Blaine started rocking back and forth on his fingers, Kurt knew he was ready.
He resumed his place between Blaine's legs, and started coating himself with the oil.
"Kurt, I want you… fuck me." Blaine whimpered. He gasped as he felt Kurt nudging his opening, and then he cried out in pleasure and pain, because Kurt was entering him.
"Oh God… Kurt…" Blaine panted.
Once he was fully sheathed inside of Blaine, Kurt lowered his upper body onto Blaine's again, covering his back entirely, as he had done before. Only this time, they were truly connected.
And it felt so fucking good to both of them.
Kurt pressed little kisses to the back of Blaine's neck, as he slowly started to rock into him. They both groaned at the exquisite feeling. "You feel so good, honey, wrapped around me… damn… I could just stay in you forever…" Kurt breathed against Blaine's jaw.
Blaine let out a long, lewd moan, making Kurt shiver in sheer excitement. He looked at Kurt. "Kiss me." Their lips met in an open mouthed, all consuming kiss. Kurt grabbed Blaine's hands and laced his fingers through Blaine's. They were now connected in every way possible.
Soon, Blaine's body started to ache for more. He broke the kiss, throwing his head back against Kurt's shoulder and arching his back. "Kurt..." he sighed. "Fuck me. Harder, baby."
Without pulling out, Kurt maneuvered both of them so they were both on their knees, and in one fluid motion, he scooped Blaine from the bed while he went to sit back on his haunches, pulling Blaine with him and making him straddle his lap, his back pressed against Kurt's chest.
Kurt hooked his arms under Blaine's, gripped his shoulders and started thrusting.
Hard.
Fast.
Blaine sobbed in ecstasy. He was falling apart in Kurt's arms and it was the best feeling in the world. It was so amazing it made him want to cry. A drop splashed on his chest and Blaine realized he was crying.
Kurt tightened his grip on Blaine and lowered one hand to stroke his erection. "Give in to it, baby… just let go…" He whispered to his boyfriend, who's sobs and gasps became louder and more insistent. "Oh fuck... come for me, Blaine!"
Blaine howled as the white hot pleasure surged through his body, and the whole world was reduced to where they were joined together, shaking… shuddering… burning… tensing… and launching into utter oblivion.
Heaven was right there, in the arms of his angel. He let himself fall into it.
Kurt felt Blaine sagging in his arms, and he tipped them both over onto the mattress. He thrust once… twice… one last time… and with a muffled scream he came, hard and deep inside of Blaine.
When he started to come down from his high, Kurt pulled out of Blaine and drew him into his arms, kissing the top of his curly head.
Blaine turned around in the embrace, and faced Kurt with a fragile but heartfelt smile.
Kurt's heart fluttered at the sight. He reached out his hand and traced Blaine's lips with his thumb. "I love you... I love you so much, Blaine."
Blaine's smile widened and it was as if the sun had reappeared after a hefty rainstorm.
"I know." Blaine whispered.
And he did know.
He really did.
Comments
This was absolutely fantastic. And I'm just saying that because Bottom!Blaine is personal favorite of mine. It was just beautiful.