"Are you ready?"

Blaine looked at me expectantly. I shook my head no, biting my lip so hard I was sure to draw blood. I felt a hand brush mine. Instinctively I took it, and Blaine let me squeeze as hard as I wanted. Deep breaths, I thought, and eventually I regained control of my breathing and my mind, which had previously been running through all the song lyrics, a jumbled frenzy as my worry of messing up increased exponentially. Once I found I was on even ground again, I shook myself out and let go of his hand. "Ready," I amended.

The applause was deafening as I stepped onto the stage. It was scheduled that I would sing first, followed by Blaine, and the rest of the Warblers would join us onstage at the very end of the song. I was wary about singing first, but Blaine was encouraging and told me I needed to push myself more. My head bobbed awkwardly to the opening chords of the song, and I opened my mouth to sing.

When I look into your eyes, it's like watching the night sky, or a beautiful sunrise

My voice wavered going into the second line, the pressure of everyone watching starting to take its toll already. I glanced to the side of the stage behind the curtain, and caught a glimpse of Blaine singing along and edging me on. It gave me the boost of confidence I needed just to get through this part.

Well there's so much they hold

And just like them old stars

I see that you've come so far

To be right where you are

How old is your soul?

Although my body felt like it was flailing wildly as I had nothing to hold on to but empty space, no shoulder or microphone stand to grip, I delivered my solo with minimal shakiness. As soon as my verse was finished, Blaine strode on to the stage, and once again the audience erupted into clapping. I couldn't blame them – Blaine was beaming and oh so brilliant, lit up by the sharp spotlight. He'd made a name for himself through the Warblers, and it clearly showed. People loved him.

Blaine turned to me, and winked. I fervently hoped that my blush wasn't apparent to everyone in the entire auditorium, because when he effortless began the chorus, he was looking directly at me and suddenly I couldn't feel my toes.

Well I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

I was so entranced by his melodic voice that I almost forgot that the next stanza was one we were supposed to sing together. It was easier this time, having a comforting presence next to me. I stared into his eyes, remembering what Blaine had told me before the show – if I got nervous, I was supposed to just pretend that he was the only other person there, and I was singing only to him, just like in rehearsals.

And when you're needing your space

To do some navigating

I'll be here patiently waiting

To see what you find

From here Blaine would sing lead and I would sing the higher octave, or at least that's what we had practiced. But he sensed my confidence was building, and he gestured for me to step forward and belt the next line. And maybe my voice was too high and wouldn't necessarily fit the track, I knew Blaine was doing this for me, letting me soak up the attention and make all those stressful rehearsals worth it. He was giving me the opportunity to shine and I took it.

Cause even the stars, they burn

Some even fall to the earth

We got a lot to learn

God knows we're worth it

No I won't give up

I stepped back and, on impulse, took Blaine's hand. He looked worried by it, but it was only for a second to convey my thanks. By then the audience was on its feet, clapping and singing along. Blaine did an adorable little dance in the mini instrumental break before the bridge. We both harmonized flawlessly, taking little liberties here and there to flaunt our abilities.

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily

I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make

Our differences they do a lot to teach us

How to use the tools and gifts we got

Yeah, we got a lot at stake

And in the end, you're still my friend

At least we did intend for us to work

We didn't break, we didn't burn

We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in

I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not

And who I am

We both nailed it, and stepped back to join our fellow Warblers who had taken the stage behind us. The last choruses were loud and powerful and we all sang our hearts out, belting out the words with our hearts and souls. It was the first time in a long time that I was living in the moment and not worrying about anything else. And at the end, just like how we had practiced, I went up and I hit the high note, and maybe it sounded a little off to me but the crowd went crazy and as we finished with an abrupt flourish of our arms there were screams and people were on their feet and I could only think, this is what it's like to be happy.

We lost Regionals to New Directions, who had done brilliant original songs, and I couldn't blame the judges for picking them over us. Rachel had been stellar and moving on her solo and it was an absolutely brilliant performance. Of course, she said the same when we met backstage afterward with a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. I felt tears threatening to make an appearance as I took in my former classmates, people I loved and cared about and then had shut out after I'd gotten worse. Mercedes enveloped me into the tightest hug I had ever been on the receiving end of, and even Puck slapped me on the shoulder and congratulated me on getting laid. Although that wasn't true, not even in the slightest, his words were encouraging instead of stinging, and for that I could only be grateful. While Rachel caught me up on the latest gossip surrounding her and her fellow glee club members, I saw Blaine behind her, conversing with some other Warblers and twirling something in his hands nervously. It confused me, because as far as I knew Blaine had no nervous ticks except for being a pain in my ass, and I excused myself to go talk to him.

After he easily slipped his way out of the conversation with his classmates, he followed me into a dressing room that had been abandoned. "What's going on?" he asked me, slipping what he had been twirling around before into his back pocket.

"Are you alright?" It felt funny, asking him that, when I was usually the one answering that particular question instead. But something was not right with him. He looked like he was burning up, his Warblers' tie loosened around his neck and the first few buttons on his dress shirt were undone. His jacket must have been thrown haphazardly somewhere, because it was absent now. Blaine switched his weight from one foot to the other, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"I'm okay," Blaine said, and for once, he did not make eye contact with me. "I've just been thinking about something that's still nagging me in the back of my mind."

"Oh?" I asked. "And what would that be?"

"What happened that day?" Finally Blaine's head lifted in my direction, his amber eyes touching mine. "In the auditorium, right after you hit that high note and we kissed. Why did you push me away?"

It wasn't what I had been expecting at all, although I probably should have thought it would come around at some point. It hadn't been out of character for me, not at all, but maybe Blaine didn't know that. "I think I was just overwhelmed, Blaine. I'm awfully sorry about that, especially if I hurt your feelings." My hands twisted together in front of me, a habit I'd found I often did when I was in awkward situations and had nowhere else to put them. "It was all just moving so fast, and I'm so attracted to you, and I honestly just don't know what to do with those feelings. I kept trying to swallow my words, keep down what I wanted to say to you, because I didn't know if you could handle what I would say. When we kissed, all those words rose to the surface of my mind, and I knew I would end up spitting them out, so I stopped you."

Blaine stayed silent for a moment, biting the corner of his lip. I wanted to tell him not to do that, that his lips were so pink and perfect and biting them would only mar that, but I said nothing. Finally he spoke. "What were you going to say?"

I looked around the room, then, anywhere but at him. I took in the dark cream colored walls, the vanities that had all been pushed to one side of the room, creating a large space in the middle of the room, probably used for a last minute choreography practice. Other than that, the room was unremarkable, in stark contrast to the conversation that was taking place within it. "I was going to tell you . . . that I need you. That I think you're completely brilliant and inordinately handsome, and that the second you walked into my life, it got instantly brighter. I would have said that I could listen to you sing all day, until the earth crumbled to ash and the world ended. That, if I hadn't met you when I did, I probably would have taken my own life within the next two weeks. I would have said that you saved me, in more ways than one, and I know I'll always owe you a great debt. But most of all, I think I would have told you that I'm falling in love with you."

Blaine's hand touched my face, and he gingerly wiped away the tears there that I hadn't even known I'd shed. The urge to lean into his touch, into the warmth of his caress was instinctive, and he kept his hand there on my cheek. His own mouth wavered, and though he did not cry, his nose and ears became red, his eyes wet. "Kurt," he whispered, sliding his hand from my face to my neck, pulling me in closer. "I love you."

Our mouths clashed together in a messy kiss, hands pulling hair and clothes and I heard a button pop and couldn't be bothered to stop and check. Blaine's tongue twirled with mine, an intricate dance that was somehow synchronized despite my lack of experience. I swallowed Blaine's gasps and he took in my moans, and I felt my heart stitch itself back together and as I reveled the fact that I was finally in Blaine's arms, and he was holding me like I'd only imagined in the deepest recesses of my mind, late night fantasies that formulated when I couldn't fall asleep, just listening to him snoring lightly in the bed next to mine. Now it was real though, and I was touching Blaine and he was holding on to me so tight I was afraid he would leave bruises, until I realized that I wanted that. I wanted him to mark my body, with something other than scars that resulted from self-harm. I wanted a hickey that I could proudly show off the next day because my boyfriend gave it to me, because he loves me.

He pulled away, and I saw just how much I'd rumpled his hair. It had been freed from its gel prison, hanging loose in front of his eyes, the undersides curled up around his face. He looked adorably young, and I brushed the curls away from his eyes to stare into them, and they were dark with desire. I gulped down the lump in my throat, fighting the urge to say something completely stupid that would mess up the moment. Blaine was breathing hard and so was I, and he was still so close, I could feel his heartbeat when I touched my hand to his chest. I never thought I'd have this, that I could be so emotionally and physically close to a person that I could be alone with him, not speaking or moving, just staring and feeling and being.

And then I remembered something. Not sure if he would show me or not, I slipped my hand into his back pocket, pulling out the object he had been toying with beforehand. When I saw what it was, I nearly dropped it in my surprise.

"Kurt," Blaine said, but I backed away, shaking my head, gripping the object tightly. It was my key necklace, a simple house key strung on a simple silver chain. There was so much sentimentality behind the necklace though, the mere thought of someone else holding it and touching it making my stomach churn.

"This is mine," I whispered. I could hear my voice break, tears causing my airway to become blocked.

"I know, Kurt, and I'm sorry. You left it on your bedside table this morning before the competition and I know you always wear it, and I brought it just in case it was a good luck charm or something, but I forgot about it until now. I was going to give it back, honest, I promise I'm not a thief-,"

"Blaine," I said, cutting him off. "It's okay. It's just . . . this necklace was left to me, by my mom. I was too young to remember her passing, but there was a note that came with it. It said that if anything should ever happen to her, to give this to me on my fifteenth birthday. It was supposed to be a reminder to never let anyone into your heart who didn't deserve to be there, who wasn't good enough to treat you the way you should be. She told me that if I ever found the right person, to give this necklace to him or her, as a reminder that they have the key to my heart."

Blaine's eyes were shining now, and his hand reached out to take mine.

"I don't know if I'm ready to give up this necklace yet, Blaine." He nodded in understanding. "But I hope that someday down the line, I can give it to you. If you'll accept it."

Blaine hugged me close, holding my shoulders tightly. "I'd be the luckiest man in the world to have the key to your heart, Kurt Hummel."

And I felt God with me in that moment. While before I'd had my doubts, now I knew He must be out there, somewhere. Because I didn't die. I lived because I was meant for Blaine. I just had to know where to look.