Aug. 15, 2013, 8:31 p.m.
Eyes Down: Chapter 9
E - Words: 4,549 - Last Updated: Aug 15, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 14/? - Created: Jul 01, 2012 - Updated: Aug 15, 2013 540 0 0 0 0
The drive to Kurt’s house was mostly silent, save for the few directions that Kurt had to give Blaine to direct him toward his house. The rest of the time, Kurt stayed silent, staring out the window. Blaine thought about asking him about it, but Kurt had said that he was going to explain things, so Blaine decided to let Kurt start talking on his own terms.
When they got to Kurt’s house, Kurt led Blaine upstairs to his room. After they entered, Kurt turned to Blaine.
“Yeah, well… This is it,” he said gesturing to the surroundings. Blaine enjoyed looking around Kurt’s room, seeing all of the pictures and little things that decorated the space. It seemed to suit him very well.
However, Blaine’s attention was quickly brought back to Kurt when he ran a hand through his hair nervously, and when he brought his hand back down he brushed against his cheek and he winced. Blaine was quickly at his side, moving to inspect the cut as he took Kurt’s hand. Kurt grimaced again when Blaine took his hand. Blaine looked down at Kurt’s hand to see his knuckles had started to bruise pretty badly.
“Sorry,” Blaine said trying to brush his knuckles as gently as possible, “do you have a first aid kit?”
Kurt nodded without meeting Blaine’s eyes, just looking down at their hands, “it’s under the kitchen sink downstairs.”
Blaine gave a final brush to Kurt’s hand before saying, “be right back,” and leaning up to kiss Kurt on his uninjured cheek.
When Blaine came back into the room a few minutes later, carrying the small first aid kit, he saw Kurt standing by his window, staring outside, with his arms wrapped securely around himself.
Blaine placed the kit on the bed and walked over to Kurt, covering Kurt’s arms with his own, wrapping himself around Kurt from behind. He placed a soft kiss on the back of Kurt’s neck, and he heard Kurt let out a shaky breath.
“Kurt? Are you alright?”
It was then that Blaine realized that Kurt was trembling in his arms. Blaine started to get really worried.
He turned Kurt around, and started to lead him over to the bed, “Come ‘ere, baby.”
Blaine sat them both down on Kurt’s bed, and he opened the first aid kit to begin tending to Kurt’s injuries. He worked on the cut on Kurt’s cheek first, cleaning it the best he could and putting some cream on it that would help the scar heal. After he placed a bandage over the cut, Kurt had seemed to have calmed down somewhat. Blaine rubbed his hands over Kurt’s arms to try and sooth him some more. He then turned his attention to Kurt’s knuckles, giving them the same treatment, cleaning them, putting on something to help with the bruising, and then wrapping some bandages around them.
When he was done, Blaine found himself just looking at Kurt’s hands and stroking his knuckles soothingly. He wanted to talk to Kurt about what had happened, about what had happened in his past, about what went on when he was on the other side of the school with Karofsky. But he wanted Kurt to start. He didn’t want to push Kurt into something he wasn’t ready to talk about. He would wait for when Kurt was willing to talk about it, and he would be there to listen.
They had both been sitting there for about ten minutes, Blaine just petting Kurt’s hands and both of them staring down at their intertwined fingers, before Kurt finally said something.
“I’m so sorry, Blaine,” he let out in a breath.
Blaine shook his head, “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be in any of this mess.”
“I’d rather face all of the jocks at McKinley than not be with you,” Blaine said at last looking up to meet Kurt’s tear-filled eyes.
Hearing those words, Kurt finally broke.
He dropped his head onto Blaine’s shoulder and let his sobs overtake him as Blaine wrapped his arms securely around his back.
Kurt cried into Blaine’s shirt for a while, as Blaine rubbed soothing circles over his back trying to comfort him, and trying to wordlessly communicate that he wasn’t going to leave.
After Kurt’s crying had settled into small sniffs every now and then, Kurt sat back up to look at Blaine.
“I’m sorry…” he said giving a small sniffle again.
Blaine smiled a little, “Kurt, you have to stop apologizing when you’ve done nothing wrong,” he said as he brushed a small strand of hair out of Kurt’s face.
“Blaine, I think I owe you an explanation.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
“No, you deserve to know what happened…everything that happened.”
Blaine could only nod, just letting Kurt do whatever he wanted. “Okay,” He said as he took Kurt’s hand in his own again.
But, just as soon as he had taken Kurt’s hand in his, those hands were slipping away and space was being made between them. Kurt had made about a foot of space between them, and he was no longer facing Blaine directly. He had moved so that only his right side was facing Blaine.
“Kurt, what—“
“I just have to be able to get through this, and I don’t know if I will be able to if you are that close.”
I’ll be too afraid of letting you go.
“Kurt, you don’t have to tell me this if you don’t want to.”
“No, I—I want you to know.”
I need you to know.
Kurt had said very few words since they had left the school earlier, but once he had started talking, he couldn’t seem to stop.
“I told you before that I was bullied my sophomore year, with locker checks, dumpster tosses, and slushies. It was all manageable. It wasn’t pleasant, but it was manageable. I had made it through the year with minimal damage. But junior year came around, and everything got worse.
“The year started out the same as the year before, but very quickly, the bullying started to escalate, becoming more frequent, and more violent.”
Kurt turned so that his back was facing Blaine, and he lifted up the back of his shirt. Blaine gasped as he saw some faded scars scattered across Kurt’s back that he could tell must have been really bad at one point.
“Kurt…” as he reached forward to brush his fingers along one of the scars, Kurt let his shirt fall back down and he returned to his previous position.
“Sometimes the locker tosses were so frequent and forceful that the locks on the lockers would leave deep bruises that still haven’t faded completely.
“Throughout the whole thing, the one person that seemed to be the main instigator of the escalating of the bullying was Karofsky.”
Blaine could see that Kurt had started to slightly shake again, and he wanted nothing more than to reach out and comfort him. But he didn’t want to scare Kurt off, and he didn’t want to upset him further. He respected the space that Kurt had made.
“It all came to a head one night at a party. Mercedes had been invited by a football player that had a crush on her, and she insisted that I come along with her. I wasn’t thinking, and I went.”
~*~*~
Kurt wandered around the strange house trying to find a quiet place or at least a place that wasn’t completely packed with people. Mercedes had abandoned him a few minutes ago to dance with the guy that had invited her, and now, all he wanted was to get out of this damned house.
He finally made it to the kitchen where there were fewer people, but all he wanted to do was leave. It was a mistake coming in the first place. He figured he could at least sit outside until Mercedes found him to leave, so he headed in the direction that he figured there might be a back door.
He was walking down a dark empty hallway that he thought would lead to the back of the house when a hand closed over his arm and pulled him into a nearby closet.
He tried to scream at first, but a hand was covering his mouth and a large figure was looming over him. The closet was dark, so he couldn’t tell who it was, but they were just standing over him, one hand covering his mouth, and the other closed around his wrist, pinning him to the wall.
After a few moments of eerie silence, be started to struggle against the hold, trying to get away.
“Ah, ah, ah, Hummel,” the figure said as the grip on him tightened, and Kurt froze. He recognized that voice. He knew it from hearing it yell names at him in the hallways, but he knew it.
David Karofsky.
“You are not going to get away that easy.”
Kurt’s heart beat rate was skyrocketing, he was so scared of what Karofsky might do to him.
As if reading Kurt’s mind, Karofsky spoke again. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to beat you up or anything.”
He began to lean in closer to Kurt, “I only came here for one thing.”
Suddenly, the hand over his mouth had disappeared, but in its place appeared a mouth, and a demanding tongue that was forcing its way between Kurt’s lips.
Kurt began struggling even more, but both of Karofsky’s hands were now holding his wrists on the side of his head, and Karofsky’s thigh was pressed between his legs, pinning his body to the wall.
Karofsky reached a hand down and cupped Kurt through his jeans and he let out a muffled scream as he bit down hard on Karofsky’s tongue that was still invading his mouth. Karofsky quickly pulled back with a grunt of pain, and then chided Kurt. “No, no. None of that,” and then he hit Kurt hard in the stomach, punching the breath out of him.
He would have doubled over, but Karofsky held him up, his hand covering his mouth again as he ripped Kurt’s shirt open with his other hand. Kurt tried to let out another cry for help, but it was dampened by the hand covering his mouth.
Karofsky began running his hand all over Kurt’s chest as he started to thrust his hips against Kurt’s thigh.
Kurt realized that Karofsky wasn’t holding either of his hands, so he began trying to push him away. But, no matter how hard he tried, Karofsky was much stronger, and wouldn’t move an inch.
Karofsky’s hips stuttered, and Kurt heard him let out a groan. As he fell forward with his release, Karofsky’s hand moved away from Kurt’s mouth, and Kurt took the opportunity to try and call for help.
“Help me! Please! Help m—ah!”
Karofsky had grabbed the back of his hair and pulled his head back, silencing him.
“Not a good idea,” he said menacingly before he punched Kurt in the stomach again. This time, he fell to the ground, and Karofsky swiftly kicked him in his side. He kicked him a few more times, before he stopped, and was just looming over him again. Kurt coughed and wheezed, trying to get his breath, when Karofsky bent down and grabbed him by the front of his shirt and slammed him against the wall.
Kurt was still shaking with fear when Karofsky leaned in close and said, “If you tell anyone about this, I will kill you.”
Kurt did his best to move away from him, but Karofsky grabbed his face and turned his head to look directly in his eyes, to show him that he was serious.
Eventually, Karofsky released his hold on him and left the little dark room.
Kurt collapsed on the floor, with tears streaming down his face. He curled in on himself, feeling dirty, violated, worthless, and terrified.
~*~*~
“After that night, Karofsky would sometimes catch me in the hallways, and would pull me into the locker rooms or behind the school, and he would just stand over me, terrifying me. Sometimes he would kiss me again, or he would kiss my neck or forehead. Sometimes he would just touch me and run his hands all over me, but every time he would make me feel horrible and violated all over again. I could never call for help or anything because he would always hit me or cover my mouth so I couldn’t yell, so nobody ever came to help. And afterwards, he would always threaten to kill me if I ever told anyone. You and Quinn are the only ones I have ever told.” Kurt looked up for a moment to meet Blaine’s gaze, but then he quickly averted his eyes to stare at his lap again as he continued on.
“The bullying was still just as violent too. He shoved me harder and more frequently which started to leave permanent marks, and he threw more slushies than I can even count. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore, and went to Quinn and asked to join the Skanks. I told her the whole story, and she helped me build up this new image. In time Karofsky started to back off and leave me alone… I guess the presence of the Skanks made it harder for him to get to me. But I was still so scared, all the time. I was scared that he was going to come after me again, and he was going to do so much worse than he did the first time, and I’m still scared and I just… I just felt useless…”
Kurt was crying into his hands as he finished his story. He wiped away a little at his face before turning to Blaine. “I understand if you don’t want to be around me anymore, since you know now that I’m damaged and used, and—“
“Kurt, no. Absolutely not.” Blaine scooted over and grasped Kurt’s shoulders, unable to keep from touching him anymore, and turning Kurt to face him square on. “I could never see you that way. I can only see you as the gorgeous, amazing person that I have always known you are. You are not broken or disgusting or any of those things you think. He is disgusting for the things he did to you. You are not anywhere near him. Kurt, I don’t care what has been done to you, you still are and always will be beautiful,”
Kurt could only stare at him for a few moments, searching his eyes, before he launched himself at Blaine, pressing his lips firmly against Blaine’s for a few moments before he buried his face in Blaine’s shirt as his sobs overcame him again.
“Please stay. Please don’t go,” Kurt pleaded, clutching at Blaine’s shirt.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Blaine said brushing his fingers through Kurt’s hair, “I’m not going anywhere until you order me away.”
“I—” I love you.
Kurt almost said it. He almost said those three little words, but he didn’t want to say them now. Not like this. Not when he was a teary, pitiful mess. He wanted to be able to look Blaine in the eye and say it with as much conviction as he felt about it. He would wait.
He leaned away to look at Blaine. He then noticed the giant wet spot covering Blaine’s shoulder and part of the front of his shirt.
Kurt sniffed and let out a small tearful laugh, “Look at your shirt,” he said brushing his hand over the spot, as if trying to wipe it away.
Blaine laughed too when he noticed it. He covered Kurt’s hand with his own, “I think it’ll live.”
After looking into each other’s eyes for a few moments, Blaine leaned in and gave Kurt a gentle kiss. He then adjusted his position and laid down on the bed, pulling Kurt to him. He wrapped him up in his arms as Kurt laid his head on his chest and wound his arms around Blaine’s waist.
Blaine brushed his hands though Kurt’s hair in gentle motions until he felt Kurt’s breathing even out, and he couldn’t keep his own eyes open any longer, and he slipped into sleep.
The next morning, Blaine woke up slowly, blinking the sunlight streaming in through the windows out of his eyes. Only when he moved his arm up to try and block out the light did he remember that there was somebody next to him. A very asleep, gorgeous somebody.
They had shifted a little in their sleep, and Kurt was now lying on his stomach next to him, but his arm was still flung around Blaine’s waist, and one of his legs draped across Blaine’s.
Blaine couldn’t help but smile when he saw him, and he reached over to gently run his fingers through Kurt’s tousled hair. Kurt stirred a little bit, but didn’t wake, and he nestled further into the pillow.
Blaine stayed for a few minutes, stroking Kurt’s hair, before he got an idea. He gently eased himself out of the bed, and out of Kurt’s grasp, to which Kurt let out a small whimper.
Blaine leaned over and kissed him on the forehead, which seemed to relax him, and then he made his way down stairs toward the kitchen.
Once there, he began rummaging around to try and find something to make for breakfast. He decided to make some pancakes, since they were fairly simple.
He had made the batter and had made the first round of pancakes, and was pouring the second when he heard a small voice behind him.
“Blaine?”
He turned to see a sleep disheveled Kurt standing in the doorway to the kitchen, and he smiled.
“I—I thought you had gone home, or something,” Kurt said, seeming to be truly puzzled as to why Blaine was standing in his kitchen.
“Oh,” Blaine said looking at the pancakes and then back at Kurt, “I can leave, if you want,”
“No!” Kurt said hurriedly, “No, I’m… I’m glad you stayed,”
Blaine made his way over to him, and wrapped him up in a hug that he felt Kurt relax into. After holding him for a few minutes, Blaine pulled back and gave Kurt a gentle kiss. When it was over, he looked at Kurt and smiled.
“Good morning.”
Kurt giggled, and replied with another, “Good morning.”
Blaine gave him a small peck on the lips before he said, “Breakfast is almost ready,” and he made his way back over to the stove.
“You made breakfast?” Kurt asked as he went to Blaine’s side. Blaine simply nodded as he flipped some of the pancakes.
“It smells great, can I do anything to help?”
“Do you want anything else with your pancakes?”
“I’ll cut up some fruit.”
They worked in a comfortable silence for a while until Blaine had a hefty plate of pancakes and Kurt had a large bowl of fruit.
They each filled a plate with pancakes and fruit and sat at the table to eat. Their comfortable silence continued as they ate, and was continual until they were almost finished with their meal.
“Kurt, can we talk about what happened last night?” Blaine interrupted the silence, and he could see Kurt tense with the subject matter. He quickly backtracked.
“No, no, Kurt, it meant a lot to me that you trusted me enough to tell me all of that, because it was a big deal. I was just wondering… how come you waited so long to tell me? It seems like if Karofsky hadn’t cornered us yesterday, you might have never said anything. I’m not mad, not at all, I was just curious, I guess. Why tell me now?” Blaine finished and looked up into Kurt’s searching eyes for a few moments before Kurt averted his gaze, fiddling with his fork on the table.
“Well that’s just it, isn’t it? There was a reason why they… why he cornered us yesterday. And it was because of me. He has a big target on my back, and he feels like he can try and ruin my life whenever he gets the chance. If it wasn’t for me, they probably would have never bothered you. I just don’t want you getting mixed up in all of this mess that follows me around. I guess I needed you to know, in case you don’t want to deal with all of it. Which I understand…if you don’t want to.”
Blaine quickly scooted his chair over to be right in front of Kurt’s and he pried Kurt’s fidgeting hand away from his fork to grasp it in his own, giving it comforting squeezes.
“Kurt, I told you, I’m not going anywhere. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. You mean too much to me. So, you have a past, who doesn’t? That does not define who you are now or make you any less of a person, okay?”
Kurt could feel the tears slowly start to prick in his eyes, but he held his tears back, he had cried enough already. He let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, and he brought his other hand up to stroke along Blaine’s cheek, as if to make sure that he was real, and not just some perfect figure of his imagination.
Blaine brought up Kurt’s hand he was still holding to his lips to place a gentle kiss on it.
“Come on,” he said pulling Kurt up from the kitchen chair, “how about we watch a movie?”
Kurt only nodded as they walked toward the living room.
Once they were there, Blaine spotted a movie case on the other side of the room and he headed toward it to help Kurt pick out a movie. But before he could make it very far, he felt Kurt grab his hand and pull him back. When he turned around, Kurt cupped his face and pulled him in for a deep kiss. Blaine couldn’t help but moan a little into the kiss and he wrapped his hands around Kurt’s waist. It started out slow and heady, with lazy tongues and long drawn out kisses.
But soon it started to become more desperate, and Kurt started walking them back toward the couch. Kurt sat down and pulled Blaine to him, causing Blaine to sit on top of him, straddling his legs.
“Is this okay?” Blaine asked as he started sucking small kisses up and down Kurt’s neck.
“So okay,” Kurt breathed out.
Blaine moved back up to attach their lips and he willingly accepted the tongue that thrust into his mouth.
He weaved his fingers through Kurt’s hair at the back of his neck, and he felt Kurt rubbing his hands along his lower back.
They broke apart when they both needed air, and Blaine went back to his previous task of sucking small kisses along Kurt’s neck. He nipped at the spot under Kurt’s ear where his jaw ended, and Kurt whimpered and his hips gave a small thrust upward.
Blaine started kissing and sucking his way down Kurt’s neck until he reached the collar of his shirt, and he started tugging at it so he could continue his path.
“Can I—“ Blaine started to ask, but a quickly cut off by Kurt.
“Anything,” he said desperately.
Blaine popped the first button of Kurt’s shirt. “Okay?”
“Yes,” Kurt breathed out.
Blaine continued his slow trail of kisses and nips down Kurt’s chest, unbuttoning each button as he got to it. Eventually, Kurt’s shirt was hanging open at his sides and Blaine had practically slipped off the couch.
He was busy trailing his fingers along the waistband of Kurt’s pants when he looked back up to see Kurt with his head tilted back and his eyes closed with a blissful look on his face. He slowly leaned back up and planted a sweet kiss on his lips.
“If you want me to stop, tell me to stop, and I will,”
Kurt only nodded before Blaine slipped off the couch again to kneel between Kurt’s legs. He continued to move his fingers along the edge of Kurt’s waistband almost soothingly. He started to slowly tug Kurt’s pants down to reveal his boxer briefs.
Kurt was starting to breathe heavier as Blaine ran his hands up and down Kurt’s thighs and kissed and sucked along the elastic around his hips.
“Blaine,” Kurt panted out, “please, do something.”
Blaine pulled Kurt’s underwear down and wrapped his hand around his cock. Kurt dropped his head back onto the back of the couch with a moan as Blaine started sucking a hickey onto his hipbone.
Blaine started moving his hand up and down and twisting his wrist around him. Kurt was squirming under him and Kurt threaded his fingers through Blaine’s curls as he continued to nip at his hip.
Blaine ran his lips over the purple mark one more time before he moved up to cover Kurt’s mouth with his own. Kurt moaned again and his hips bucked up into Blaine’s hand.
Kurt broke away from the kiss to gasp for breath before he huffed out, “Oh, Blaine, I’m so close. Just – ungh fuck – tighter.”
Blaine knelt back down as he tightened his grip and sped up his pace. He kissed the sensitive spot on the inside of Kurt’s thigh where it met with his hip. Kurt came with a shout, and Blaine stroked him through it.
After he had caught his breath a little bit, Kurt noticed that Blaine was still kneeling on the floor, just smiling up at him.
“Get up here,” he said as he tugged Blaine off the floor and then pushed him down onto the couch and hovered over him. “Your turn.”
“Kurt, it’s fine, you really don’t have to do anything if you don’t want t—unghh.”
Kurt had quickly pushed his hand inside Blaine’s pants under is boxer briefs, and grasped his still hard cock. Blaine began panting as Kurt started moving his hand up and down.
Kurt pushed up Blaine’s shirt and ran his other hand over his chest before he leaned in and attached his mouth to one of Blaine’s nipples. Blaine cried out and was writhing under him as Kurt sucked and bit at the nub. He moved to the other side as Blaine panted out, “I’m not gonna last, Kurt…oh, don’t stop.”
Kurt started moving his hand faster, and soon enough Blaine was coming over his fist onto both of their chests.
Kurt collapsed next to Blaine on the couch as they tried to catch their breath.
After a while Blaine mumbled, “Shit…”
Kurt grinned a little and looked up at Blaine, “So much for watching a movie.”
Blaine couldn’t help but burst into laughter that was contagious enough to soon cause Kurt to laugh along with him.
After they had cleaned up they resumed their spot on the couch and actually watched a movie, cuddling into each other the whole time.