Just a few things I need to clear up.

1. In previous chapters I had referred to Blaine's ex-boyfriend as Jeremy when really I meant to write Jeremiah. Gap Jeremiah. And just like on glee he is just as much of a douche as he is in here. Well more really.

2.Words like theseare past memories andwords like theseare their thoughts.

3. Not Beta'd. Bare with me, i'll update the beta'd version later. I just couldn't wait to upload!

4. (Not really important to know) but this story was specifically based on someone I know. So some of the events may have actually occurred at one time or another.

Okay, now you may read as you please, Enjoy!

Chapter 5: Memories

The car ride back to Burt's tire shop turned out to be just as awkward as imagined. Even more so then their first drive together and thats saying a lot.

Blaine sighed at Finn reaching for the car radio. The tall boy randomly switching through stations as Blaine tried to concentrate on the drumming of his fingers against the car doors armrest.

This was how both Blaine and Finn kept busy during their drive.

Finn, completely oblivious, to his actions continued skimming through songs while Blaine stopped his drumming because of it.

He corner eyed the tall boy from across his seat and began to take even breaths. His attention switching from outside the window, watching as the trees passed by, to Finn. He'd be lieing if he was to say that he wasn't the slightest bit nervous. Cause..fuck he was.

This was his angels brother after all. How the tall goofy boy beside him had any relation to Kurt he didn't know but he quickly dismissed the thought to return his attention back outside, his patience already running low. Not that it was very high to begin with.

Finn sighed in defeat after five full minutes of mindlessly pressing at as many buttons his fingers could reach. Going back to sit fully in his seat and returning his concentrated on the road. Just as he was about to reach a red light his phone began to ring.

"Hello?" he answered.

Blaine ignored the boy and when not able to occupy his mind with Finn and his dorky ways any longer his mind only worsened with thoughts of Kurt. The porcelain boy's look of disgust when Blaine had offered his sexual services.

"I, uh left my homework behind so I had I go pick it up real quick." Finn spoke to whoever was on the other line.

Why it hurt to be turned down was something Blaine couldn't understand.

"Okay. Yeah. I-yeah love you too dad."

Maybe it was for the best after all? It's not like he needed Kurt, right?

It doesn't matter though, there was no turning back now. Kurt was gone. He had blown his chance.

"Bye." Finn hung up the phone and drove when the red light turned green, nearing his father shop."Sorry about that... My-"

Finn stopped, his mouth hanging wide open at the sight across from him.

Blaine was still morning over Kurt when he heard Finn's voice call out to him.

"Blaine... " Finn cautiously asked the bad boy, approaching his father's shop.

Blaine titled his head away from where it had been previously pressed up against the glass window to see the tall boy watching him.

"Yeah." Blaine sat up, straightening more in his seat and lifting an eyebrow up at the hard look boring down on him.

"You uh... " Finn cleared his throat and looked as if he was battling with his words. "Are you crying?" he blurted out, eyes focused on anything but the bad boy's glare.

Blaine looked at Finn in complete confusion. "The fuck are you talking about, giant?"

Finn turned to look at the bad boy but didn't speak. Instead he hesitantly pointed his finger to a spot on Blaine's cheek. Not daring to wait for his reaction Finn quickly turned, eyes back on the road.

Curious, Blaine brought his fingers to rub at the spot and his eyes instantly went wide once the wet feeling came in contact with his fingers.

Tears? There were tears on his cheek. When had he started crying and was it because of Kurt? Did Kurt make him cry?

The wet tears his fingers were now stroking sparked an old memory. The memory of last time he cried. A memory he all but wanted to forget.

"Hey Blaine, you okay man?"

"Pull over."

"W-wait, what?" Finn turned to see Blaine unblocking his seat belt. "What are you doing?"

"Pull the car over." Blaine repeated, already out the car before finishing his sentence, not caring to wait until the car had come to a complete stop.

Finn jerked the car to a stop and watched as the bad boy ran to where his motorcycle had been leant against the shop's door. The bad boy leaping onto his motorcycle, and roaring the engine on.

Ignoring the loud car honks given by many angry drivers, Blaine sped down the busy streets and responded with his middle finger, signaling to the cars.

Finn could only sit and wait until Blaine had disappeared into the traffic to restart the cars engine and drive back to his home.

Blaine heart rate eased the farther he drove. But once the graffitied building, it's paint chipped walls fading from color and dead plants scattered along the yard, came to view he felt his stomach drop.

Home sweet home.

Quickly cutting the engine off, the bad boy swung his leg out from around the bike and began to wheel it into the main lobby.

Just as he entered the first floor and his feet hit the cold tile did he notice that he was walking bootless. Not realizing that earlier he had left them in Finn's room and hadn't retuned to get them afterwards.

He shook his head at the realization but continued on his walk.

"Blaine." A short woman from across the counters front desk greeted.

"Carol." he gave her a small smile as he bowed his head in greeting. She was the building's nurse and after having so many complaints from the residents, management ultimately decided to hire one.

Blaine ignored the expecting look she had on her when he began to struggle with his bike. The last thing he wanted to do was have a conversation with her. She reminded him of his mother way too much. Well hisold mother.

Carol noticed the bad boy struggle and went to assist.

"Oh honey." she said calmly, abandoning the stack of papers on her desk to walk over to Blaine. "Here let me help you."

She went to grab for his motorcycle but Blaine quickly blocked her midway. "I got it." he almost yelled, his back facing Carol.

"Blaine-"

"The bikes heavy.." Blaine turned so that he was now facing her but still not meeting eye contact. "and dirty."

Carol looked at the bad boy, confused. "So?"

"You'll get dirty." Blaine said obviously.

Carol laughed as she rolled her eyes. "My husbands a mechanic, Blaine. I have to deal with mess on a daily basis."

Blaine nodded and opened his mouth to speak but decided on it otherwise. "You have a lot of work to do." he tried convincing. "Just... I'll be fine. It's no big deal really."

Carol watched Blaine a moment longer, debating on whether she should argue with the bad boy but deciding on it otherwise. Eventually she nodded in agreement.

Blaine forced a smile and went back to his bike, glancing over his shoulder to his to see Carol already walking back to her desk and he turned to continue his own walk down the hallway.

It was a bit of a struggle pulling the heavy bike up the two flights of stairs to get to the apartment but once he reached his numbered door he breathed out a sigh of relief.

Silently he cursed the crappy building and it's broken elevators before wheeling his bike against the nearest wall and reaching for the handle, turning it slowly.

Of course the door was unlocked, Sebastian never bothered to get a new lock after the last time they had gotten robbed.

Blaine pushed opened and pulled his motorcycle into the apartment, shutting the door behind him. At the sound of the door closing Sebastian woke up from where he had been sleeping on their shared sofa.

"Hey, hot stuff." Sebastian yawned, stretching rather inappropriately when he caught eyes with the bad boy.

Blaine rolled his eyes and looked away. "Hello Sebastian."

"Come sit down," Sebastian offered patting the empty seat next to him as he sat up. "Tell me all about your day."

Blaine gave the man a tired look and shook his head. "I don't have time for this Sebastian."

"Oh come on. Please?" Sebastian whined and smiled when Blaine defeatedly dragged his body over.

The bad boy sighed and took the seat farthest from his friend, rolling his eyes again when he caught eyes roaming his body.

"God sebastian can you stop fucking me with your eyes for one second." he snapped. If Sebastian was offended he didn't show.

"Aw baby what's a matter? Tell daddy Sebastain." Sebastian cooed, leaning his body closer on Blaine as he reached to smooth small circles on his back with the palm of his hand.

Blaine smacked the arm that was now moving lower and lower down his back. "What did I say about touching Sebastian? No touching!"

Sebastian laughed at that. "You need to relax." he inched closer and closer with every word. "How 'bout you replace that stick up your ass with my dick instead."

Blaine dropped his head back.Here we go again.

"Come on I can make you feel so good." Sebastian smirked at the flustered look on Blaine's face. "Just give in baby... let lose." only being an inch away from his ear he whispered, "I can make you feel so good"

"Just give in baby. Let lose. I can make you feel so good."

Blaine shook at the memory and refocused his attention on Sebastian. "I don't have a stick up my ass. You're just so fucking annoying." he retorted, his back touching the edge of the couch as he attempted to move farther away. Didn't Sebastian get that Blaine wasn't interested?

Honestly Sebastian was as hard headed as him...

"Don't act like you hate the attention. I could see the way you watch me-"

"In disgust." Blaine finished and smiled when he caught the hint of hurt on Sebastian face. But it was soon replaced with his infamous cocky smirk.

"Your so fucking hot when you act like a fucken tease."

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe YOU'RE the one who can't take the hint." he spoke knowingly, shrugging his shoulders when he looked away to the tv stand in the far corner. A tv stand which held anything but a tv.

"I'm not being a tease, asshole. You just can't take the fucking hint!"

Blaine mentally slapped himself. Was he just as bad as Sebastian?

When Blaine didn't get a respond from Sebastian he turned to see the taller man starring at his crotch.

"For fucks sake!"

"Okay shit..." Sebastian mock surrendered. "Maybe another time" smiling as he walked out the living room and into his own room.

Blaine breathed a sigh of relief once the room around him grew silent.

Finally alone.he thought happily.

It wasn't long though until his misery returned. Images of one blue eyed boy,hisblue eyed boy, coming to view.

Blaine was falling hard for Kurt. Too hard.

The only other time he'd ever felt so strongly about someone was with-oh that's right Jeremiah. The one that broke his heart.

Blaine didn't love Jeremiah though. He thought he did. There was always a feeling of emptiness in his heart, like something was missing, he just couldn't understand what.

Small gestures like bringing roses or holding his hand in public despite the disapproving stares always made Blaine's heart swell with what he thought was love.

It was a fantastic feeling. Having someone express their affection towards you, especially when he wasn't getting it from anyone else. It was a whole new world to him.

Jeremiah's love filled his hollow heart. It replaced the empty hole his parents had neglected.

But after everything that happened with Jeremiah cheating with Nick, of all people, his heart had finally given up. It closed itself completely. Who could blame him though? After everything he's been through, love, was the last thing on his mind.

Could his heart every love again? Was it able to, was he able to?

Sulking his body even lower against the torn couch's cushion he thought back to the memory of the night his world crashed right before his eyes. Picturing the scene so perfectly.

The lock clicked open as Blaine turned his keys and opened his dorm door that he and his roommate Nick shared. He cautiously entered the candle lighted room and eyed it in search of his friend. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he noticed Nick's empty bed across from his.

Blaine was just about to sent his friend a text when he caught movement in the corner of his eye.

Blaine was startled when Nick, lying straight on his back with a larger body straddled over him, was on his bed. The lightening in the room and the fact that the man had his face buried in Nick's neck did nothing to help Blaine identify him as as he continued thrusting into his friend.

"Ohmygod!" Blaine shouted, both his hands instantly flying to shield around his eyes, protecting any mental images of Nick naked and having sex. "I am so sorry. I had no idea-"

"Blaine?" he heard a familiar voice say.

"Blaine!" Nick jumped, frantically pushing the man on top of him away.

Blaine hands slid to his cheeks and his heart shattered at the sight of the man hovered over Nick. He watched in horror as the now identified man locked eyes with him.

"Jeremiah?" Blaine asked disbelieving his eyes.

Jeremiah sighed at him. "Blaine, calm down."

CALM DOWN? Was he serious?

Blaine didn't move or speak. He just watched and waited. Waited to wake up from the nightmare he was obviously in. Any second now will his brother be there to wake him up and reassure him that everything was okay.

But sadly this wasn't a dream and his brother wasn't going to come.

"Jeremiah..." Blaine choked, his eyes starring deep into his boyfriend's through unshed tears.

Jeremiah rolled his eyes. "Honestly I think you're starting to overreact babe." he spoke almost with annoyance in his tone. "It's not a big deal"

"Not... Not a big deal?" Blaine couldn't believe his ears. "You're fucking cheating on me, Jeremiah!"

Tears were now falling silently down Blaine's cheeks but Jeremiah didn't look at all fazed by this. Instead he moved out from under the tangled sheets and started to dress himself, moving to pick up random pieces of clothing spread around the room.

"And it's not the first time." Jeremiah retorted, not meeting eyes with Blaine.

Blaine felt his heart crack at what was admitted. He could have sworn he was hyperventilating at that point.

"I thought you loved me... I thought maybe I had finally found someone who wouldn't break my heart but... You're no different!" Blaine spat, fighting the urge to not break down right then and there. "And you!" he turned, directly targeting his words to a still naked Nick on his bed. "I trusted you!"

"Blaine, please-"

"Shut up."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Blaine..." Nick sobbed into the palm of his hands.

"Shut up, Nick."

"Blaine. I-"

"No Nick! Shut up!" Blaine cried pulling his arms to cover his ears and shutting his eyes tight around his lashes, making even more tears fall down his cheeks.

Fuck this. Fuck him. Fuck Jeremiah. Fuck love. Fuck everything and everyone!

Nothing made sense at that moment. Was everything a lie? The soft kisses they shared, the 'I love you's" the making love?

A soft touch below his elbow brought the frantic Blaine back to reality. He secretly hoped for it to have been Jeremiah but was soon disappointed when the gentle hand looked to be attached to none other than Nick. The dark haired boy gripping his fists into Blaine's shirt, quietly sobbing and begging for forgiveness.

Blaine let himself relax under his best friend, ex best friend's, touch for only a moment. Wanting so badly to reciprocate the hug and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but it wasn't.

Nick hurt him. Just like everyone else he cared about. He betrayed him.

Blaine closed his eyes and felt his anger returned with vengeous as he shoved the crying boy to the ground and began to attack his face with his fist.

Nick yelped in pain and only sobbed more. The former friend wasn't fighting back though, he allowed Blaine to hit him until his body grew weaker and he was seeing black.

Jeremiah was still attempting to dress himself, not bothering either boy any attention, when the door to Blaine and Nick's dorm opened.

If Jeff, a warbler and friend of the three, hadn't of came in and stopped the fight Blaine didn't know how far he would have gone.

"Blaine stop! What the hell are you doing!? Get off of him!" Jeff yelled, struggling to get Blaine off of Nick as the shorter boy kept pounding away his pain.

"Fuck! Help me!" the blonde targeted his words to a half dressed Jeremiah.

Jeremiah rolled his eyes and grunted at the demand. Seriously, what the fuck?

After a couple more attempts of restrain the two boys finally got Blaine off of Nick.

"Let me go!" Blaine cried, struggling to break the head lock Jeff had held him in. He didn't dare look into Jeff's eyes.

"No, Blaine. enough! Why are you hurting Nick?" Jeff glanced over to Nick on the ground and blushed lightly. "And why is he naked?"

"Why don't you fucken ask him?!" Blaine replied bitterly, escaping the arm of Jeff and pointing to a now bloody Nick on the floor.

Nick tried to reach for the hand of Blaine's but was roughly brushed away.

"Go ahead! Ask him!"

"What the hell... " Jeff trailed off, not sure who to look at. "I swear this is -"

"You know what... Screw you all!" Blaine cried. "Have fun taking turns fucking each other."

Jeff shared a look with Nick and sighed when he realized what he just had walked into. "Blaine-" but Blaine was already running out of the room.

Not since that day had the three boys seen each other and it sure in hell wasn't going to be the last.

"Fuck them all." Blaine thought aloud. Jack Daniels was all the friend he needed in times like this.

...

Maybe he was right. Kurt wondered in his room. Only an hour ago did he last see Blaine that Kurt was still thinking about what he said.

What if no one other than Blaine would ever want him? It wasn't like there were guys knocking down his door asking for a date.

Kurt crouched to sit on the corner of his bed and thought about the conversation his father had given him last summer.

"You matter, Kurt." His father spoke the words so sincerely.

Kurt shuffled more in his seat a soft pink forming on the tips of his cheeks. He couldn't believe his father was having this conversation with him. When he had asked his father to educate himself so that he could come to him if he was ever to have questions he meant for hisself to come to his father.

"I know dad." he exasperated, still not meeting his fathers eyes.

"Good" Burt smiled, standing from his chair to pull his son into a bone crushing hug.

Kurt squirmed at first but then easily melted into it. "Thank you dad." he shyly whispered.

"You're welcome, son."

Kurt smiled at the memory until two knocks on the door and a certain nervous stepbrother walked into his room.

"We should probably talk." Finn spoke to the ground.

"You think."