Right away didn't happen quite as quickly as Kurt would have liked. He sat in Blaine's lap on his bed for a long time, with the information Carole gave him hanging in the air, echoing in his ears, curling around his heart, before things crashed in on him. He pushed away from his boyfriend and vaulted off the bed. He tripped racing to the bathroom, stumbled to the floor in front of the toilet, and threw up. Blaine followed. He ran a washcloth under cool water and pressed it to the back of Kurt’s neck.

“There, there,” he said, running wet fingers through Kurt’s hair as he lost the last of whatever he had in his stomach. “It’ll be alright, baby. Everything’s going to be fine.”

Blaine had said those words to Kurt before, and Kurt wanted to believe them. But this, this was too much. How were they going to fix this if it wasn’t alright?

Once Kurt could stand, Blaine helped him get dressed, and into the car, but Kurt didn't remember any of it, the image of his father in a hospital bed projected in front of his eyes every step of the way. 

Blaine drove Kurt to the hospital. The hospital itself seemed dead set on keeping them away from Burt. Three nurses sent them to three different floors. One nurse swore up and down that a Burt Hummel had never registered in the hospital. Then, when they located the right room, the nurses wouldn't let Kurt in. Two hours they sat, waiting and not knowing. Of course, Carole said his father was fine, but what if he had taken a turn while they were being shuffled uselessly around? Several times, nurses with crash carts raced by into random rooms, while the ominous sound of a flat-lining monitor echoed through the halls. 

Blaine managed to locate Carole, who ushered them right in. It was well past sunset before Kurt got the chance to see his father. Kurt functioned solely on autopilot, stuck in a nightmare he just kept reliving. Carole helped fill in the blanks of what had happened that day. His father blacked out at the shop, but he came to in the hospital. They gave him a complete examination. They took x-rays, did blood work, ordered scans. They put him on an IV and a ventilator, just as a precaution, and decided to keep him overnight for observation.

Kurt had heard it before. Same speech. Different hospital.

His father was resting quietly in his bed, his body stressed from his ordeal. He had bags under his eyes, and a contusion where he had hit his head on the floor, but he didn't look any different. He didn't even look sick. Kurt wanted to talk to him, to hear his voice. He wanted to tell him how sorry he was that they’d fought. If he could go back to that fight, Kurt was certain he could find another way to get his father to listen. Kurt had a million feelings he wanted to express, but he didn't want to wake his dad from a comfortable sleep to burden him with his own guilt. 

Carole put a comforting hand on Kurt's shoulder, but he didn't feel it. It was just another reminder of how he failed. He knew she had been with his dad when Kurt hadn't come home. He couldn't imagine what she must really think of him, what thoughts she might be hiding behind her smile.

He looked at his dad's face, peaceful in sleep, but his mind kept replacing it with the look of anguish and pain he had after they spoke, after Kurt turned his back on him and left.

"This was me," Kurt mumbled, shaking, backing away. "This is because of me. I did this."

"No, honey." Carole's voice was kind, reassuring, but it offered no comfort. Kurt couldn't take it. The too small room, the too much noise, the sterile smell that always seemed to accompany hospitals, illness, and death. As horrible as he felt about doing it, as much as he wished he could be stronger and stay by his father's side all night until he woke up, Kurt turned and fled. He couldn't stay there. He couldn't sit in the corner, with his dad hooked up to tubes and machines, worrying that he would fall asleep at his bedside and be woken up by some doctor he didn't know telling him his father had passed away overnight. 

He had lived through that fear once. He couldn't do it again.

He felt so trapped.

Blaine watched Kurt run from the room, but didn't follow after him immediately. He stayed to talk to Carole. She was working the midnight shift, and would be able to call them if anything changed. He hugged her appreciatively, and then left to find his boyfriend.

Kurt hadn't gotten very far.

Blaine found him sitting on a faded chair at the end of the hall, his cheeks damp with tears. Kurt stared up at Blaine with frightened eyes.

"I…I didn't know how to get out," Kurt said, voice cracking as he spoke. 

Blaine held out a hand and Kurt took it.

He had an idea.

He drove back to Kurt's house. Kurt's eyes went wide.

"No, Blaine!" Kurt shook his head. "I...I can't stay here. Not after...not without my dad..."

"We're not staying here," Blaine said. “I promise. We’re just switching cars.” Blaine parked his Mustang and got out, rounding to Kurt's door and opening it. He took Kurt's hand and pulled him over to where Kurt had parked his Eclipse. When Kurt turned to Blaine confused, Blaine smiled and gestured to the car. 

"We're going for a little drive." Blaine handed Kurt the keys. Kurt looked them over in his hand as if they were some foreign entity. He unlocked his car, and they climbed inside.

Kurt wrapped his slender fingers around the steering wheel, gripping it tight. He looked over at Blaine who was busily hunched over his iPhone. Then he sat up, and placed the phone in the dock on Kurt's dashboard with Google maps open and ready to give directions.

"Where are we going?" Kurt peeked at Blaine, his face still blank, his eyes still lost.

"We're going to escape," Blaine said. "Just for a little while."

Kurt pulled out of the driveway and onto the street, following the directions on the map. 

Rows of houses faded away to city streets, and street lights twinkled out in their wake as they drove far from the neighborhoods, the cities, and the incorporated areas of Lima.

Blaine took a gamble letting Kurt drive. His eyes, clouded over with tears, stared at the road ahead, but Blaine could tell that even as the wind blew through the open windows, fanning Kurt's hair, that Kurt's mind kept drifting to the sterile white room where his father lay.

Kurt drove very well, even in distress and anger. He and his car were one as the Eclipse, a shade of blue as startling as Kurt's own eyes, glided along the smooth asphalt, over swells in the road, around tight curves until they climbed steadily closer to the night and the stars. Soon the grimace on Kurt's face softened, the lines around his eyes smoothed back into the natural contours of his face, and he looked the way he always looked when Blaine pictured him - handsome, young, and free. The hint of a smile barely lifted the corner of Kurt's lips. He inhaled the fresh, cool air as it rushed through the window, and the light that had fizzled in his eyes ignited again.

They drove higher until they reached a ledge near the top, and Blaine told Kurt to pull over. Quietly, they left the car, and Blaine lead Kurt towards the edge. They sat side by side, blocked from the view of the road by Kurt's Eclipse, looking over the valley below, blanketed by the night as they faced the horizon.

"So, is this your super-secret thinking spot?" Kurt asked with a side-long glimpse at Blaine.

Blaine scrunched his nose and shook his head. "Nah. I Googled 50 of the most exciting places to go in Lima, Ohio, and came up with this place."

Kurt snickered. 

"Really?" Kurt kept an eye on the skyline. "Where was it on the list?”

"Number two." Blaine picked up a pebble and tossed it, following it with his eyes as it bounced over the edge. "But, really, there were only five things on the list."

"Nice," Kurt said.

"Nah, you caught me," Blaine admitted, tossing a few more pebbles. "This is my super-secret thinking spot. And like all great thinking spots, I stumbled on it by accident one day when I was alone and upset, and looking to escape."

Kurt sighed, his eyes flicking down to his Doc Martens.

"And before you ask - no,” Blaine said, not sure if Kurt was curious but wanting to make things clear in case he was. “I've never brought anyone else up here." Blaine knocked his shoulders into Kurt’s, earning a chuckle, but Kurt’s eyes didn’t move from his shoes.

Blaine gazed over at Kurt and frowned. He shimmied along the ground, and took a seat behind his boyfriend. He put his hands on his shoulders and kneaded with strong fingers.

"I'm sure you know what your boots look like, baby,” Blaine half-teased. “I brought you here to look at the scenery."

Kurt brought his face up slowly and gazed out into the distance, but it just looked black to Kurt. Bleak. He could barely make out the lines of the hills and trees he knew stretched out below. Blaine's hands moved down Kurt’s back and snaked around his chest, holding him tight. He perched his chin on Kurt's shoulder and kissed his cheek.

"I know what you're thinking," Blaine whispered, following Kurt's eye-line out to the distant sky.

"And what is that?" Kurt asked. 

"It's dark, and gloomy, and never ending, and it's never going to be brighter or better..."

Kurt nodded so subtly that had Blaine not been pressed up behind him with their cheeks close, he might not have noticed it.

"The first time I came up here was when my mom and I first moved to Lima," Blaine said, rubbing his hands up and down Kurt's arms. Kurt leaned back and positioned his head onto Blaine's shoulder, listening as Blaine spoke. "We had just moved here. I was still broken, you know, from being beaten up, and scared of leaving the house, but my parents couldn’t care less. My mom was so wrapped up in her own shit, she enrolled me at McKinley and that was that. She didn't wake up to make sure I got to school on time. She didn't care. My presence in her life was...unnecessary." 

Kurt felt tears slip down his cheeks again, but he did his best to hold back. He didn't want Blaine to stop.

"My first day at McKinley, I was ignored, talked about, made fun of...and then, I got a Slushie to the face."

Kurt unwound one arm and wrapped it around Blaine's waist beneath his jacket. He felt Blaine shift positions, and then relax into his embrace.

"That night, I left. I took my mom's car and started driving. I didn't even have a license. I was going... somewhere, nowhere, I don't know where I thought I was going. I guess part of me figured I would just, you know, drive until I ran out of gas, and wherever I ended up, that’s where I’d be. But after a couple of hours and about four panic attacks, I ended up here.” Blaine swept his eyes around, searching the horizon. “I parked, and I sat down, right where we are. I looked out at the horizon, and tried to figure out the best time to..." Blaine's words drifted, and after another sigh, Kurt wasn’t sure they were coming back.

"Best time to what?" Kurt asked, voice shaking with tears.

Blaine looked at Kurt. He captured a few of Kurt's tears on his finger and lifted them to his lips to kiss them away. Then he looked away and swallowed.

"To jump."

Kurt gasped. He almost sat up, but Blaine held him firm.

"I figured I would wait to see one last sunrise, and then I could do it. But when I saw the sun rise and light the sky, how spectacular it was, I began to realize that I was about to throw everything away - my future, my life, and if nothing else, the chance to see one more sunrise, and for what? For people who weren't going to matter in a few years anyhow. Even my parents."

Kurt nodded. It made sense. That was a good way to look at it.

Kurt was glad Blaine found that way.

"So, what did you do?" Kurt asked.

"I took control,” Blaine said. “From that moment, when I decided not to jump, I took control. I went back to school and decided that if I wanted things to change, then I would have to make them change. I became class president, and I fought to make the bullying stop. I made a decision about the direction of my life, and I made it better. And the next time my dad disappointed me and threw me away like I was nobody, it didn't hurt so much, because I knew that I was somebody. Somebody who could be better, make a difference. The best thing was, when I came back, I wasn’t a kicked dog. I could hold my head up high because I had something great to return to. Something I helped create."

Kurt sat up this time to look into Blaine's face. Blaine put a finger beneath Kurt's chin and closed the gap between their lips.

"Now," he whispered, kissing along the contours of Kurt's mouth, "I have so much to look forward to."

Blaine couldn't bring himself to close his eyes when he kissed Kurt this time. He wanted to soak up this moment, the flutter of Kurt's eyelids as they closed, eyelashes soft as butterfly wings settling against his cheeks. Kurt's skin glowed in the god rays of light that had begun to peek over the horizon. Blaine felt blessed to be here, to be trusted with the heart of this angel on earth, and given the opportunity to redeem a hundred and one mistakes in this one moment.

Kurt opened his eyes and ducked his head, slightly embarrassed at knowing that Blaine had been watching him. Kurt noticed the darkness lifting, and turned his face to greet it. 

"I know you feel helpless," Blaine said. "But out there in the distance is your future, Kurt. It will always be there ahead of you, and it's beautiful. Just like that sunrise."

"So what do I do?" Kurt choked out.

"Take back control," Blaine said. "Take back control of your life."

Kurt shook his head. He didn’t disagree with Blaine, he just felt so overwhelmed that it sounded like an impossible task. "I don't know where to start."

Blaine climbed over Kurt's legs until he was sitting in Kurt's lap.

"Start here." Blaine kissed him again. "Start now."

Blaine's lips trailed down Kurt's skin, licking a long stripe along his neck, then back up to tug his earlobe gently. Blaine's nimble fingers undid the buttons of Kurt's jacket, and then the buttons of Kurt's shirt, searching out and fanning over smooth skin. Kurt breathed in quickly, but relaxed into Blaine’s touch.

Blaine's lips settled on the junction of Kurt's neck and his shoulder, and sucked, with swipes of his tongue in between.

Kurt had expected Blaine's lips to continue across his collarbone and meet back up with his mouth, but instead Blaine started a journey down Kurt's chest, lapping at each nipple, and then further down his stomach.

"Blaine..." Kurt moaned, shivering as the breeze touched the wet trail of Blaine's kisses. "What are you..."

"Shhh. Relax," Blaine hushed, kissing Kurt’s skin, stopping occasionally to suck a mark along Kurt's flank. Blaine stopped just above Kurt's waistband, looking up at Kurt with bright, innocent-looking eyes.

"Is this okay?" Blaine asked, dipping his tongue below the waistline of Kurt's jeans.

"God, yes," Kurt moaned, and Blaine laughed. His fingers skimmed over the button fly of Kurt’s jeans, and Kurt suddenly felt a little self-conscious.

"Wh-what do you want me to do?" Kurt asked instead of pushing Blaine away. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, trying to slow his racing heart. 

"Open your eyes, beautiful." Blaine undid one button.

Kurt opened his eyes. "And then?"

"Just look at the horizon." Blaine undid a second button. "Let me make you feel good." Blaine undid the third and fourth button. "Watch the sunrise." 

When Blaine pulled open the last button, Kurt gasped, the rush of cold air against his overheated skin washing over every inch of skin.

"Think about the future." Blaine sighed against Kurt's skin, appreciative of the sight before him. "It's a beautiful thing."

Kurt kept his eyes glued to the horizon, watching the distant hills start to glow with morning sun. The heat from Blaine's mouth against his chilled skin filled him bodily from his feet to his head. Kurt obeyed, and watched the light flood the hillside. When Blaine took Kurt's entire length into his mouth, he fought the urge to close his eyes and throw his head back.

It was the most difficult thing in the world for Kurt not to lie back on the ground and surrender to Blaine's perfect mouth. Hot, relentless, Blaine's tongue swirled around his cock, massaging his skin, licking over the head and traveling back down to the base. Blaine stretched out in front of Kurt, between his legs, and gripped his hips in his hands, keeping him grounded. 

Kurt wanted to watch him, the bobbing of his head as he moved up and down, his shoulders and back flexing beneath his leather jacket as he shifted positions. Blaine hummed and moaned, the vibrations spiraling up Kurt's spine like the vortex of a storm. Blaine worked over the head with light, shallow sucks, and then took Kurt completely until the blunt tip of his cock bumped the back of Blaine's throat. Kurt wanted to give in, to cum with Blaine's name on his lips, but it was also incredibly freeing, in a way, to fight those instincts and maintain control. The sun splayed over the hillside, warming Kurt's exposed skin, and everything it touched exploded with color. Kurt focused on the light, on the warmth, on the good, and he would fall apart when he chose.