When Blaine gets up in the morning, he not only feels different, he is different. Not everything about him is different, but enough for him to want to make some changes.

But most importantly, he's made the decision that he's ready for things to change.

No more hiding. No more coping. No more fantasies. Fuck the past, and his ex, and everything the man ever did to him. None of it was Blaine's fault. Blaine recognizes the fact that very real abuse is the reason why he did the things he did, why he lives his life the way he lives it. It's a valid reason, and no one in the world would fault him for it, but he's not using it as an excuse anymore. It's time to look to the future – cut that album, start performing again, maybe even audition for a Broadway musical. He can call his agent (long time, no see) and finagle a reading for that musical Rachel's auditioning for. He could try out for the part of her dad (wouldn't that miff her off?). Why not? It could happen. He'll take baby steps if he needs to, but he'll get there some day.

Bottom line, he has to start looking towards the future.

From this day forward, he's going to start living his life.

But first, he needs get dressed and buy himself a cup of coffee.

***

“A double shot espresso, and a ham and cheese Panini…”

Step.

“A steamed milk, two pumps hazelnut, one pump caramel…”

Step.

“One soy latte with cinnamon sprinkles, and a caramel-apple Danish…”

Step.

Blaine stands in line, feeling a bit sheepish but with his head held high, determined that this is going to be the day – the start of something new, the start of him getting what he wants, and not letting anything get in his way.

He needs to start with Kurt. He'll throw himself at Kurt's mercy, beg for his forgiveness, right here, in front of all these people, on his knees if he has to. He'll do his best to make Kurt see that it's worth giving him a second chance.

If Kurt doesn't agree, well, then, Blaine will be heartbroken. Extremely heartbroken. But he won't let it lock him behind his apartment door again.

He won't use Kurt to fill in holes that he needs to start filling himself.

“A hot dark chocolate with mocha whip and a dash of raw sugar…”

Step.

“A steamed whole milk with a splash of sweet cream, a pistachio scone, and a banana nut muffin…”

Step.

“A decaf black…uh…(sigh)…with a double shot of espresso and a jalapeno bagel…”

Step.

Blaine winces when he hears that sigh. He caused that sigh. Even as Kurt moves on to the next customer, that sigh hangs heavy around Blaine's heart, but nothing in the world will make him leave without giving this a shot.

“Three almond cookies and a double decaf half-caff…”

Step.

“Hey,” Kurt says, greeting Blaine with a warm smile, a genuine smile, but not as bright as usual. Something has changed with Kurt, too…and it's Blaine's fault. “A medium drip for my favorite customer.” Kurt pours the coffee, hurrying to get it capped and ready, then slides it across to Blaine. Blaine doesn't touch it. He looks down at it, then up at Kurt, and he waits. Kurt bobs his head, appearing mildly uncomfortable as he waits for Blaine to pay him, take his coffee, and leave. Blaine reaches in his pocket for his wallet, opens it up, and hands Kurt a five.

“$1.65 out of five,” Kurt says, ringing up Blaine's order and getting his change. Kurt holds three ones and a few coins out to Blaine.

Blaine takes his change from Kurt, puts it in his wallet, shoves his wallet back in his pocket, and waits.

There they stand, waiting, an awkward silence growing between them and a line growing out behind them, but Blaine still waits.

“Uh…was there something else you wanted today, Blaine?” Kurt asks. He's polite – very polite, still so patient and polite, but it's not the same.

“You…uh…I noticed…you didn't ask me out,” Blaine says.

Kurt raises an eyebrow, but he looks more tired than disbelieving. “Yeah, I'm sorry,” Kurt says. “It's just…I think I'm starting to get the hint. You want to be left alone. You don't want a relationship. I respect that. I mean, I've only been trying for how many months?” Kurt laughs. “I appreciate you being nice about it and all, but I promise, I'm not going to bother you anymore.”

“Oh,” Blaine says, swallowing hard, hoping that he's not too late. “Well, maybe you could bother me…one more time?”

Kurt's eyes meet Blaine's and his brow furrows. Blaine finds it hard to read this particular expression, but there's something about it that seems wary, like he's trying to decide if this is a joke, or if Blaine is going to back out at the last minute. Kurt's wondering why the change?

Blaine took this for granted. Kurt isn't a fantasy. He isn't two-dimensional. He doesn't just immediately do what Blaine wants. He's a human being, who wants to find a connection with another human being, who doesn't want to get his feelings hurt, either.

“Okay,” Kurt says, pinching his lower lip between his teeth, a smile slowly starting, “but before I decide if I want to, may I ask what changed?”

“I did,” Blaine says. “I thought things over, took a good long look at my life, and I finally realized what I really want.”

“Really?” Kurt asks.

“Yes,” Blaine says, bouncing eagerly on his heels.

“And what do you want?” Kurt crosses his arms over his chest and taps his toe the same way Rachel did the day before, and Blaine smiles. Maybe Kurt has a touch of diva in him, too.

Blaine would love the chance to find out.

“Dozens of things,” Blaine starts. “I want to stop being afraid of living my life and just live it. I want to stop spending hours thinking up excuses as to why I don't do things, and just do them. I want to try new things, meet new people…I want to risk falling in love, and getting my heart broken.” Kurt's eyes dash away, but Blaine bends toward him, fighting to get them back. “And when I think about that last one in particular, I know that I want a man who's kind, and patient, and genuinely cares about other people. I want a man who sings like an angel, so I can be the harmony to his melody. I want a man who's not afraid to share his pain with me, who'd be willing to sit and listen while I share my pain with him. I want someone who likes some of the same books I do and some of the same music, so we can sit down and talk about everything we love, or maybe just sit down and not talk at all.” Blaine turns his head to look behind him when he hears a throat clear, and sees about fifty faces staring back at him, but very few of them are angry. Most of them are silently staring, and Blaine knows he's running out of time. “You know, Kurt, I have about a hundred more things that I want in a person, but to be honest, they point to you.”  

Kurt looks down at his hands, the smile on his face nearly curling around his ears.

“You know what?” Blaine says, shaking his head. “Screw it all, Kurt! I'm not waiting. Would you like to go to…”

“Yes!” Kurt answers, before Blaine finishes asking the question, lifting his head with eyes shining.

“…dinner with me?”

“Yes, yes, yes!” Kurt laughs, but Blaine can't really hear it, or his answer, as much as he'd like to, because from behind them on line, and at the tables all around, the 7:05 a.m. regulars in Kurt's coffee shop, the same ones who come to The Hot Shot every day before they head off to work, who have had to endure months of these two dancing around one another, not seeing the same thing that everyone else could already see clear as day, are standing on their feet, clapping and cheering.

Blaine takes Kurt's hand in his, holding it for the first real time ever, feeling those callouses and his soft palm, so much better than any fantasy. He pulls Kurt toward him as he leans over the counter.

“I guess that was the right answer,” Blaine says.

“Yeah,” Kurt chuckles, glancing down at Blaine's hand holding his, then back into Blaine's eyes. “And I guess I wasn't the only one waiting for you to say it.”