“Boy George!” Cassie July’s voice cut above the music. “That was terrible. You’re dancing like a puppet with a hand up its ass.”

Kurt felt his face flushing at Cassie’s words, embarrassed yet again. Ever since he’d failed his midterm, she’d been out for his blood. She’d even lain off Rachel, seemingly shifting her frustration to focus only on him.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I’ll do better.”

“See that you do,” she said, giving him an appraising look. “Now get out of here, all of you. The idea of watching you dance again today is making me break out into hives.”

Kurt tried to collect himself as he gathered his things.

“I’m sorry she’s being so hard on you,” Adam’s soft voice reached his ears. Kurt looked up at him to realize that everyone else had left, including Rachel.

“It’s my own fault,” Kurt muttered, slinging his bag onto his shoulder. “I need to do better.”

“You’re doing the best you can,” Adam replied.

“It’s obviously not good enough.” Kurt sighed. “I’m going to come back after my next class and work on things – do you think you’d have time to come help me?”

Adam gave him a long look (which made Kurt feel guilty for reasons he refused to examine any further) and then nodded. Kurt smiled.

“Thanks,” he said. “I guess I see you later.”

*

Blaine had been trying to stay clear of Santana since their talk the other day. He didn’t know what to say to the girl – he hadn’t done anything wrong and Kurt knew that he hated Sebastian. He’d done his best to explain it to Kurt, though Blaine had no idea why seeing those pictures would even upset him.

There was a weird tension in the house now though – he was avoiding Santana, he was starting to wonder if Kurt might be avoiding him, and Blaine didn’t know what to do about any of it. He grabbed a bag of Cheetos from the cabinet and sat down on the couch, his script in his other hand.

Blaine sighed, staring down at his script, eyes widening as he read the next page.

Holy shit.

*

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Adam recently,” Rachel said, taking a sip of her coffee. She’d harangued Kurt on his way out of his Intro to Acting class and talked him into getting a cup before he met up with Adam.

“He’s been helping with rehearsals. You know Cassie has it in for me now,” Kurt replied.

“Is that all it is?”

Kurt stared at her for a second, unsure if she was really suggesting what he thought she was suggesting.

“What else would it be?”

She gave him a look, like she was looking for some other answer in his face.

“Why are you asking me about this, anyway?” Kurt returned. “It’s none of your business.” He winced as soon as the words left his mouth. That wasn’t what meant.

“Excuse me for loving you and Blaine and not wanting to see you make a stupid mistake,” Rachel replied.

“I’m not making any mistakes, Rachel,” Kurt hissed, his anger rising. “I’m not going around with Adam behind Blaine’s back – he knows we rehearse a lot. Adam knows I have a boyfriend, and nothing we do together is inappropriate in any way.”

“But if he wanted to…”

“Even if he did, I don’t,” Kurt said. “I love Blaine, end of story.” That was the truth, something Kurt knew above everything else. Even though things between him and Blaine were a little on the quiet side these days, he didn’t want anyone else but Blaine.

“Okay,” Rachel murmured after a moment. “I just thought I should ask, because you and Blaine don’t seem to be spending a lot of time together lately.”

“You know what, Rachel, I appreciate your concern, but it’s not really something I should be talking about with you. It’s between me and Blaine, okay?” With that, Kurt stood up and grabbed his bag and his coffee cup, stalking off.

He made his way back to the NYADA campus while he drank from his cup, trying not to let Rachel’s words get to him. He and Blaine were fine – they were just going through a rough patch. Adam was a friend, nothing more.

Kurt headed for the dance room and sighed, seeing Adam in there waiting for him. He steeled back his shoulders and put the whole mess out of his head. Rachel had no idea what she was talking about.

*

Blaine couldn’t believe it. He stared at the script for a long time and then put it down.
James and Toby were going to have sex. They were actually going to film a love scene. Sex had been one thing the show hadn’t quite done – they’d filmed some “after” scenes, where sex was implied – but the two of them rolling around in bed together and losing clothes was something they hadn’t done yet.

He was pretty sure it had never been done on primetime TV. As much as Blaine was for gay rights and marriage equality, he wished there was another way to educate others on gay relationships that didn’t involve him rolling around in a bed with Sebastian.

Just then, Sebastian walked into the makeup trailer, smirking when he saw Blaine sitting there.

“See the rewrites for today?”

“Yeah,” Blaine answered quietly. Sebastian wriggled his eyes at him.

“Ready for me to rock your world?”

Blaine just rolled his eyes, his stomach turning over.

He kept silent while the stylists finished working on their hair and sent them off to wardrobe. The episode was supposed to be a huge New York Life/Dalton crossover event, where one of the characters from Dalton was getting married and James and the others had come from New York to attend.

And that meant James and Toby ending up in a hotel room together, apparently.

Blaine slipped into the suit provided for James and took a deep breath and sent a text off to Kurt.

Wish me luck. Bitch of a scene coming up.

Only if you do the same for me. Rehearsal with Adam in five.

Blaine frowned at his phone and then steeled himself.

He was a professional.

He could do this.

*

Kurt turned, pirouetting again. He had to get this right – he was so tired of feeling in the wrong about everything. Nothing was working out the way he thought it would since the move to New York. Blaine was… well it was like Kurt didn’t even know him anymore. Finn and Rachel were wrapped up in their own problems and Kurt barely saw them unless their schedules happened to overlap. He was spending all his time practicing and even it didn’t even seem like it was doing any good.

Tears burned behind his eyes and he tried to force them back, spinning again. The room blurred and Kurt wasn’t sure how it happened, but the next thing he knew, he was crying out in pain, landing hard on the floor.

“Kurt!” Adam exclaimed, rushing to his side.

Kurt tried to find the words to tell Adam he was okay, but instead he found himself bursting into tears.

“Are you all right?” Adam asked. Kurt shook his head. “Is it your ankle?” Kurt shook his head again, crying so hard he could barely breathe, much less form words. “Come on; let’s get you up off the floor.”

Kurt allowed Adam to slip under his arm, helping Kurt to his feet, Kurt limping as they headed to the bench along the wall.

Adam helped him sit, putting Kurt’s injured ankle up on the bench. “I know you said it wasn’t serious, but we should ice it, just in case.”

Kurt nodded, his eyes still streaming as Adam headed for the small freezer (stocked with ice packs) Cassie kept in the corner for incidents like this. He listened as Adam opened the door and grabbed one, his misery overwhelming him.

Adam was back, pulling Kurt’s foot into his lap before Kurt could say anything, not that words were something he could manage at the moment. He felt Adam’s fingers slipping his shoe off and then the cold press of the ice against his ankle.

“Here,” Adam said gently, and Kurt opened a still blurry eye to see Adam holding out a handful of tissues. Kurt took them gratefully, wiping at his eyes and then blowing his nose softly.

“Thanks,” Kurt murmured. “Sorry for my meltdown.”

“You don’t have to apologize, love,” Adam replied, smiling softly at him. Kurt nearly jolted at the term of endearment, his stomach rolling. Rachel’s words from earlier played back in his head, but Kurt pushed them away. Adam was from England, he was pretty sure they talked like that all the time. It didn’t mean anything. “Feel like telling me what’s got you so upset?”

Kurt shrugged. “Everything,” he mumbled, not really wanting to get into the details of his relationship with Blaine. “New York is just… not what I thought it would be.” He sighed. “I’m a small fish in a big pond and no one is going to notice me here.”

“You attract more attention then you realize,” Adam told him softly. “Surely you must know how talented you are.”

“I thought I did,” Kurt said honestly, “But now I’m not so sure. I’m not sure about anything anymore.”

*

[Picture]
James and Toby get hot and heavy. (x) (via Daltonfan)

OMFG I AM SCREAMING

OMG THEIR HANDS, LOOK AT THEIR FUCKING HANDS

I’M DEAD. I’M DEAD AND I’VE GONE TO THE HEAVEN OF GAY PORN

GOD BLESS THE CAMERA MAN WHO TWEETED THIS PIC

LAUGHING IN THE FACES OF THE THAMES SHIPPERS. DENIAL AIN’T JUST A RIVER IN EGYPT ANYMORE.

SOMEONE FUCKING PINCH ME. JFC. BLAINE’S LEG IS BETWEEN SEBASTIAN’S AND WHO IS FUCKING WRITING THE FIC FOR THIS YOU NEED TO GET ON THAT SHIT OKAY

YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND. One Night in Lima

JFC YOU GUYS I CAN SEE THE LIGHT THE DARK DAYS ARE OVER.

Congratsonthesex.gif

*crying* WE DID IT KIDS.

*

Kurt winced as Adam pressed into his ankle lightly.

“You should probably have it looked at,” Adam suggested. Kurt shook his head. The last thing he wanted to deal with today was a trip to the hospital.

“I’m sure it’s fine.” Kurt’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, seeing a twitter notification. He checked it quickly, gasping out loud at the picture that showed up.
Blaine. With Sebastian. It was obviously work related but Kurt couldn’t stop the hurt that went through him at the sight of the two of them entangled. It was something that haunted him through his worst nightmares.

Adam peered over his shoulder and then gave him a curious look. “Why do you put up with him?”

“What do you mean?” Kurt asked, glancing away from Adam.

“I mean, it seems like he does nothing but take you for granted,” Adam replied. “He’s been a train wreck – I read the news and while some of it might be overplayed for drama, I know that a lot of it is true.”

“It’s not your business, Adam,” Kurt tried to cut off the conversation. He didn’t want to talk about this. He wanted to go home, put his ankle up on a pillow and go to sleep. Maybe then he could forget how much his life sucked.

“I’m your friend,” Adam reminded him, his tone gentle. “And you haven’t been happy in weeks. It’s high time someone said something.”

“You really don’t know anything about it,” Kurt mumbled. He moved to take his ankle from Adam’s lap, but Adam held it in place.

“I know you may not want to hear this, but you deserve better,” Adam insisted.

“What - like you?” Kurt blurted out before he could stop himself.

He could see the guilt in Adam’s eyes and that propelled Kurt into motion. He stood up, successfully pulling his leg away this time. “Listen, Adam. You’re a great guy. In any other situation, I’d be tempted,” Kurt said. “But you have no idea what Blaine and I have; what he’s done for me, how much he loves me. I love Blaine and that’s not going to change.” He waved his hand with his promise ring in the air, the jewelry clearly catching Adam’s attention. “We promised each other forever.”

With that said he limped over and picked up his bag, pulling it up on his shoulder and leaving the rehearsal room.

*

Blaine wasn’t sure what to expect when he got home – but it wasn’t a text from Rachel arriving five minutes after he walked in the door, exclaiming that she’d dragged Kurt and Santana out to Callbacks and if he got home in time, his presence was requested.

Blaine sighed. He had no idea if Kurt knew anything about filming today but he also knew he couldn’t avoid the subject. It was going to come up. He knew that Kurt would understand it was just business (he hoped that Kurt still knew that); however, he should probably talk to Kurt as soon as he could.

He decided that he would meet them at Callbacks, pausing only long enough to take the hottest shower he could stand, scrubbing the feel of Sebastian’s hands and mouth off his skin. The scenes had been as clinical as he could make them while still projecting James’ love for Toby, but he was left with the memories seared into his brain.

Unfortunately.

Once dressed, he headed out the door and to the bar.

The place was packed when Blaine arrived and it took him a moment to find Rachel in the crowd. She was laughing at something Finn whispered in her ear when Blaine approached. “Hey,” he called above the din.

“Hi!” Rachel exclaimed. “I’m so glad you made it!”

“Where’s Kurt?” Blaine asked, sliding into a chair.

“He’s waiting his turn,” Rachel answered, pointing to where Kurt was getting ready to go up on stage, talking quietly with Santana.

Blaine caught Kurt’s eye and was taken aback by Kurt’s indiscernible expression. Kurt said something to the piano player who nodded and then Kurt approached the microphone. He held it gently between his hands, his eyes closing as the music started.

Then he started to sing, and Blaine took in a deep breath.

“It's easy to fall in love,” Kurt began, singing softly. “But it's so hard to break somebody's heart. What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield.”

Kurt’s eyes locked on his and Blaine felt like he was punched in the gut. Kurt’s eyes were filled with pain and Blaine knew he was singing about them. “Once lust has turned to dust and all that's left's held breath, forgotten who we first met. What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield.”

Blaine couldn’t take his eyes off Kurt – he was standing there under the spotlight, baring his soul. Blaine felt awful – he had no idea how much Kurt had been hurting. Or maybe he did know, but he just didn’t want to face it. “We both know it's coming, does illusion count for something we hide? The surface tension's gotta break, one drop is all it takes to flood out this lie.”

Kurt moved into the chorus and Blaine had to fight back the tears, swallowing hard. He was pretty sure that Kurt was breaking up with him through song, right there in the bar – in public, something Blaine couldn’t hardly fathom.

“You and I, we have to let each other go. We keep holding on but we both know, what seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield. Peace will come when one of us puts down the gun, be strong for both of us. No please, don't run, don't run. Eye to eye, we face our fears unarmed on the battlefield.”

A lone tear made its way down Kurt’s cheek and Blaine wiped away the one sliding down his own face. Kurt continued on, singing his heart out. “No blood will spill if we both get out now; still it's hard to put the fire out. What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield. Feelings are shifting like the tide and I think too much about the future. What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield.”

Blaine wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. Kurt launched back into the chorus, the entire practically silent as his melodic voice echoed through the room.

Finally, finally, the song drew to a close. “We seemed like a good idea.”

The audience exploded into applause, but Kurt only had eyes for Blaine. Blaine, who couldn’t take it anymore. “Excuse me,” he mumbled, getting up and heading for the door – Kurt couldn’t break up with him in public if he left first.

He made it to the door before Kurt could catch up with him, though he heard Kurt calling through the murmuring crowd. Blaine slipped outside and took a deep breath, turning and heading down the street. Maybe he was delaying the inevitable, but he had to do something.

“Blaine!” Kurt exclaimed behind him. Blaine kept walking. He couldn’t do this with Kurt – he couldn’t let Kurt go, it might actually kill him.

“Blaine, please!” Kurt shouted. “Ow! Damn it!”

That got Blaine’s attention and he turned around to see Kurt limping after him rapidly.

“Are you okay?” Blaine asked; all thoughts of the song flew out of his head as he immediately focused on Kurt.

“I’m fine,” Kurt said. He looked Blaine dead in the eyes and then said the most dreaded words in any relationship. “We need to talk.”