Blaine couldn’t sleep. He’d tried. He’d spent the night tossing and turning in his bed, only to get up and pace around the empty spaces in his bedroom. He finally ended up slumped in the chair in the corner, his mind racing as it replayed his conversation with Kurt over and over in his head.
He was mortified at his own behavior to say the least. He’d been so, so sure that Kurt had felt something for him, just as he had feelings for Kurt. Blaine still couldn’t believe he’d actually dared Kurt to kiss him. He’d just been so desperate, the words spilled from his mouth before he could stop them.
It was Kurt’s words at the demand though, that were keeping him awake hours later.
A stone cold mask had dropped over Kurt’s face, an invisible wall erected between them. His voice had dropped low, sending shivers down Blaine’s spine but his words… his words had cut.
“Aside from the fact that doing anything with you would be a breach of several contracts,” Kurt began, his tone nearly arctic, “The simple fact is, Blaine, that you’re not my type.”
Blaine had stared at him, stunned and hurt, his insides crumpling up.
“Now I’d like to leave, if that’s okay with you,” Kurt continued. Blaine had moved out of his way, a numbness stealing over his body as he’d headed up the stairs to his room, unable to watch Kurt leave.
Now here he was, trying to figure out how he’d been so, so stupid.
Kurt awoke to puffy cheeks along with swollen and bloodshot eyes. His head pounded when he sat up and he groaned, his hands automatically moving to cradle his head in a feeble attempt at comfort.
The night before slammed into his memory like a truck; the fight with Blaine, the hurtful words he’d said - the horrible, stunned expression on Blaine’s face that had stabbed Kurt in the chest like a knife.
He’d come back to the hotel, collapsed into bed and cried himself to sleep.
Kurt had never once thought he’d find anyone like Blaine – all through his high school years he’d hoped, but even once he’d escaped to New York, it still hadn’t happened. There’d been a few dates, a couple of kisses that had been absolutely terrible and then he’d given up, choosing to focus on his career instead.
Then Blaine had shown up at that dinner with Cooper and Kurt had been lost ever since.
He wasn’t sure what was worse – hurting Blaine or the guilt he now suffered, because Blaine had been correct about Kurt’s feelings.
Kurt mentally scolded himself. He had to get it together – he needed to be on set in an hour and he couldn’t look like he’d spent all night crying.
The house was bustling when Blaine arrived downstairs. He’d managed to grab a couple of hours of sleep, but was sure he still looked horribly tired. Part of him didn’t even really care. He was over this whole thing. He didn’t feel for any of these guys what he felt for Kurt and he didn’t have the heart to try and fake it.
Still, as Kurt had oh so succinctly pointed out, there were contracts at stake. Blaine couldn’t afford to be sued or fired – he still had to make ends meet somehow.
Cooper caught sight of him and Blaine watched as Cooper’s eyes widened, his brother crossing the room to him.
“You look terrible,” Cooper said without preamble. “Rough night?” He wiggled his eyebrows at Blaine suggestively.
“Shut up, Coop,” Blaine said softly, unable to put any real emotion behind it. He was just numb.
Cooper blinked at him for a second and then took Blaine by the arm, leading him into the conference room before Blaine could stop him.
He sucked in a deep breath, the night before swimming right in front of his eyes, as if Cooper wasn’t there.
“What’s up, squirt?” Cooper asked.
“Nothing, just tired,” Blaine explained, hoping Cooper would let it drop. He longed for the days when Cooper was oblivious to Blaine, where Cooper focused on himself. Since Blaine’s move to New York, Cooper had been a lot better about that and their relationship had improved as a result.
“It’s more than that,” Cooper replied, staring at him. “Something’s wrong.”
“I just… I did something stupid and now I’m paying for it.” Blaine told him, hoping that would be enough.
“What did you do?” Cooper pressed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look like this before.”
“I’m fine, Cooper, honest.”
Cooper gave him a look of disbelief, but wasn’t able to comment further, as the door to the conference room opened.
Blaine couldn’t hold in the gasp when he saw Kurt standing there. Kurt looked picture perfect of course, not even a hair out of place. Blaine crossed his arms over his chest, wanting to curl up into himself and disappear.
“Bill wants you both in the main room to talk about the party,” Kurt told him, his voice professional, as if he was completely unaffected by Blaine standing there. And of course he was – Blaine wasn’t his type, after all.
“Of course,” Cooper agreed, smiling at Kurt. Kurt, who normally would have blushed at Cooper’s unconscious flirtation, simply turned on his heel and walked away. He turned back to Blaine. “You want to tell me what’s going on here?”
“Drop it, Coop,” Blaine nearly snapped. “I said I’m fine.”
He could feel Cooper’s doubtful gaze boring into him as he headed in the other room.
Kurt paced out by the pool, waiting for everyone to show up. They’d decided to keep this date simple – a party down by the pool. The crew was setting up cameras and music was blasting from a stereo nearby.
He still felt terrible. He’d been so cold to Blaine, barely acknowledging him. Kurt knew he was doing the right thing though – both for his and Blaine’s careers and to keep them from breaching any contracts (namely Blaine’s). His chest ached, reminding him that even though he knew it was the right thing to do, it still felt all wrong.
He wanted to wrap Blaine in his arms, kiss him senseless and tell him it was all a mistake, that he did have feelings for Blaine, that Blaine was rapidly becoming the best thing in his life. Getting to see him was a driving force for getting Kurt out of bed in the morning.
The guys slowly trickled in, bathing suits on. Kurt was dismayed that even with several shirtless guys running around, he still only had eyes for Blaine.
He was hopeless.
Bill called them together told them that it was a party and to act like they normally would.
He called out “Action!” a moment later and the festivities began. Kurt nearly jumped out of his skin when Blaine glanced at him and then frowned. Kurt looked away, finding a chair out of the way and sitting down. It was going to be a long afternoon.
Blaine couldn’t remember how much he’d had to drink. All he knew is that for the first time all day he felt amazing. He’d seen the look on Kurt’s face earlier and had gone straight for the wine the show had provided.
He laid his head on Sebastian’s shoulder and Sebastian smiled at him. “I wanna live here,” he slurred out, grinning happily. “I want to live here and make art and help people.”
“I’m sure you do, killer,” Sebastian chuckled. “How much have you had to drink?”
“One,” Blaine managed an answer, holding up three of his fingers.
“Uh huh,” Sebastian said. “I’m so sure.”
“Kiss me?” Blaine asked, his head spinning a little. He wanted to feel something… nice. He wanted someone to want him.
“I would, but I’m pretty sure you’d regret it if you did it while you’re drunk.”
“You’re nice,” Blaine mumbled. “When did you get so nice?”
“I’ve always been nice.” Sebastian smirked.
“Liar,” Blaine giggled. “I’m gonna… gonna… go.”
He got up, stumbling a little and moving away from the cameras. He stepped out of the shot and told one of the crew guys he was heading to the bathroom. He knew that they’d keep rolling, not wanting to miss a moment of the party.
Blaine blinked, trying to clear his vision, looking for the bathroom. He found the door, fumbling with the knob and throwing it wide open.
He stopped short, staring in shock at the occupants of the bathroom and then promptly burst into drunken, hysterical laughter.
“Wait, what?” Kurt stared at Blaine in shock. The rest of the party had wrapped up shortly after Blaine had disappeared and one of the crew had found him drunk and hysterical in the house. Kurt had ordered everyone to bed and had gotten to the house this morning to catch Blaine’s postdate interview with Cooper and to pull him in for a meeting with the other producers.
Blaine winced and Kurt figured it was because he was hung over. He supposed it served him right.
“You heard me, Kurt,” Blaine murmured. “A double elimination: Nick and Jeff.”
“But why would we do that?” Kurt muttered. “That’s a terrible idea.”
“I like it,” one of the producers chimed in. Kurt stiffened up at his words and tried not to comment. His entire career was based on this show succeeding and he wasn’t about to get into a fight with one of the producers over it. “It’ll be a big twist no one would see coming.”
“This entire show is a twist no one would see coming,” Blaine mumbled, putting a hand on his forehead. Kurt fought to keep the smirk off his face.
The producers discussed it and ultimately agreed with Blaine. Kurt had never bitten his tongue so hard in his life.
“You got what you wanted,” Kurt hissed at Blaine once they were the only two left in the room. “I hope you’re happy now.”
Blaine had just fallen into bed, his eyes closed, when a knock sounded at his door.
“Come in,” he called, his face muffled by the pillow.
He was promptly jostled by a figure jumped on his bed, dislodging him from the pillows. He looked up to see Jeff grinning at him and glanced over to see Nick smiling from the end of the bed.
“You’re the best,” Jeff said. “I can’t believe you got them to send us both home without telling them that you saw us.”
“I know what it’s like to want someone you can’t have,” Blaine replied. “You two should get to be happy.”
“We just wanted to come up and thank you before we headed over to the hotel,” Nick added. “We seriously owe you.”
“It was nothing.” Blaine smiled. “Honest.”
Nick and Jeff left after thanking him again and Blaine sighed, pulling the covers over his head. He just wanted to forget the world for a while – then maybe everything would stop hurting.