“What the hell, Sebastian!” Blaine cried as soon as he wrenched his lips away, shoving Sebastian backward. “What do you think you’re doing?” he hissed.

“You can’t seriously tell me you didn’t want that,” Sebastian said, his voice low. “Cut the act, Anderson.”

“It’s not an act,” Blaine insisted firmly, his voice laced with anger. “I have a boyfriend.”

“What, that guy who was here for Christmas?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes,” Blaine replied.

Sebastian shrugged. “I don’t care if you don’t.”

“Of course I care,” Blaine sputtered, staring at Sebastian in disbelief. “I don’t ever want to screw my thing up with him.”

“He doesn’t have to know, Blaine,” Sebastian moved back in, leaning down for another kiss. Blaine pushed him again.

“You don’t get it, do you?” Blaine snapped. “I’m not interested in you.”

“Fine,” Sebastian muttered, backing away. “I thought we could be something amazing together, but I guess not.”

“You thought wrong,” Blaine agreed. He was nearly vibrating with anger. He watched as Sebastian walked into back into the club and then headed for his car, still trembling.

He sank into the driver’s seat, shutting the door with a loud bang. Blaine put the keys in the ignition, turning the engine over. He put a shaking hand on the gear shift and then stopped, a sob escaping from his chest. He rested his arms on the steering wheel and then put his head down on them as he cried.

*

Blaine didn’t remember driving home. He hoped he hadn’t hit anything or committed any serious moving violations. Somehow he’d gotten inside his building, up to his apartment, and crawled into bed.

All he knew was that he was shaking and cold and he wondered if this was how Kurt had felt after Karofsky had kissed him.

Oh, God.

Kurt.

What would he tell Kurt? Should he tell Kurt?

He debated with himself over it. Blaine didn’t want to worry Kurt, and he knew that Kurt would worry about this – he’d worry if Blaine was okay, he’d worry that Sebastian couldn’t be trusted. Hell, Kurt might even worry that Blaine had welcomed Sebastian’s attentions, a thought that shook Blaine to his core.

Either way, Blaine wanted nothing more than to hear Kurt’s voice in that moment, but he couldn’t. Kurt was still grounded.

He pulled his blanket around him, suddenly exhausted. Blaine fell into a restless sleep, too tired to even get undressed.

*

“This officially sucks,” Kurt muttered to Rachel, who was sitting next to him in the choir room. He was wearing his Cheerios uniform, practice scheduled for that afternoon once he was done with glee club. They were watching as Artie and Mike serenaded Brittany and Tina, both of whom were clearly enjoying the performance. Santana didn’t look that pleased either, and Kurt wondered if she was jealous.

He’d actually gone to Mr. Schue and told him he didn’t want to do the assignment. Kurt couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually tried to get out of one. He just couldn’t stomach the thought of getting up in front of everyone and baring himself that way – at least not today. Once he could talk to Blaine again…

He sighed as the boys finished up and the girls expressed their appreciation. He just wanted to go home, bury himself under the covers, and wake up at the end of week.

*

“Dude, what happened to you last night?” Nick asked when Blaine made his way onto the set.
“Jesus, Blaine, you look terrible.”

“Rub it in,” Blaine mumbled, knowing it was true. He’d finally fallen into a restless sleep about two hours before he had to get back up. Nightmares plagued his dreams, and Sebastian’s voice haunted him. He replayed the moment in the parking lot over and over, trying to figure out if he could have done something different.

He felt like it was his fault. Maybe he had led Sebastian on.

Blaine rubbed a hand over his face and then squeezed his bloodshot eyes shut. Even after hair and makeup had done with him, he knew he still looked bad.

“Are you alright?” Jeff asked, joining them. Blaine just shook his head.

“No,” he answered simply. “Not at all.”

“What happened?” Nick put a comforting hand on Blaine’s arm, and Blaine let his friend lead him over to their chairs.

“I went to leave, and Sebastian followed me to the parking lot,” Blaine spoke quietly. No one else was on set yet, but he didn’t want to take the chance of someone over hearing. They were getting ready to film a few hallway scenes, which mean there would be extras running around.
“He…he kissed me.”

Jeff and Nick exchanged shocked glances as Blaine kept talking.

“I didn’t want him too,” Blaine whispered, tearing up again, but trying to fight them back. If he had to go back to makeup again, the girls would skin him alive. “He just… did it, and then told me that I obviously wanted it.”

“What did you do?” Jeff asked.

“I shoved him away, told him I wasn’t interested,” Blaine answered. “He kept trying to convince me, but gave up after I kept saying no.” They were silent for a long moment. “I don’t know what to do.” Blaine finally said.

“About?” Nick wanted to know.

“Kurt,” Blaine told him. “Do I tell him? What if he thinks I wanted it?”

“Kurt loves you,” Nick replied, and Jeff nodded. “There’s no way he would think you’d want Sebastian.”

“You need to tell him about this, Blaine,” Jeff added. “You really do look terrible.”

“Thanks,” Blaine replied drily.

“Anytime,” Jeff teased, patting Blaine on the shoulder. Blaine sighed, feeling a little better. He would tell Kurt, and Kurt would understand, and this whole mess would just go away.

*

“Happy Valentine’s Day, kiddo,” Burt said, poking his head into Kurt’s room.

“You too, Dad,” Kurt replied, finishing the last sentence on his English essay before hitting the print button.

“So, I was thinking,” Burt began, and Kurt glanced up at his father. “That you’ve been good, and haven’t complained about your punishment and well…” He sighed. “I’m letting you off for good behavior.”

“Really?” Kurt asked, grinning. He would finally be able to call Blaine, and on Valentine’s Day too.

“Sort of,” Burt nodded at the device on the charger. “You’re getting your one phone call.”

“I can call Blaine?” Kurt jumped up, staring at his father with delight on his face.

“You can call Blaine.” Burt smiled. “But then it’s back to being grounded.”

“I understand,” Kurt said. “Thanks, Dad.”

“You’re welcome, kiddo.”

Kurt waited until he was sure his father was out of earshot, and then dove for his cell phone. He could barely dial the number his hands were shaking so badly. Excitement thrummed in his chest as he settled down on his bed.

“Kurt?” Blaine’s shocked voice greeted his.

“Hi,” Kurt said slowly, joy at hearing Blaine’s voice filling his tone.

“Are you supposed to me calling me?” Blaine asked. “Not that I’m not glad you did, but…”

“It’s parent approved, I swear,” Kurt hurriedly replied. “Just for today.”

“It’s so good to hear your voice,” Blaine breathed in his ear and Kurt shivered.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Kurt returned.

“Same here,” Blaine choked out, and Kurt felt himself get teary as he realized that Blaine was actually crying. They started catching each other up on things they’d missed – Kurt told Blaine about the glee assignment and Blaine told him about going out the ‘boys.’

“Are you alright, Blaine?” Kurt wanted to know once Blaine was finished talking. “You sound upset.”

“It’s… nothing,” Blaine finally said. “I’ve just missed you so much.”

“Me too,” Kurt murmured. “I didn’t know how much I loved you until I couldn’t talk to you every day.”

“I love you, too,” Blaine replied. “So, so much, Kurt.”

*

Blaine was a coward. He just couldn’t do it. Kurt sounded so happy, talking about his day, and how much he’d missed him, and Blaine just couldn’t tell him about Sebastian. Instead, he’d just glossed over the night out.

“Oh, it’s almost eight!” Kurt exclaimed, and Blaine could hear rustling through the phone before voices sounded in the background. “It’s almost time for Dalton.”

Blaine’s mouth went dry. He’d forgotten the Valentine’s episode of the show was on tonight. “What do you want to watch that for?”

“I watch it every week, Blaine,” Kurt laughed. “It’s kind of part of how we met.”

“I know that, I just… you don’t need to watch this episode.” Blaine felt panicked, like Kurt would know the truth about him and Sebastian if he watched the scene with James and Toby.

“And miss James and Toby’s first kiss?” Kurt teased. “What kind of respectable fanboy would I be if I missed that? Besides, I kind of like the idea that I’m the only one who knows it’s going to happen.”

Kurt watched the episode and gave Blaine the play-by-play after Blaine told him he couldn’t bring himself to watch. Blaine heard instrumental music in the background, then voices talking, and then Kurt gasped.

“Oh, Blaine,” he crooned.

“What?” Blaine asked, panicking again. This phone call was not helping his nerves.

“That was amazing. You and Sebastian did such a good job,” Kurt complimented. “I’d almost believe you were dating in real life.” Blaine didn’t know what to say to that, but his stomach clenched painfully.

The show came to an end and Kurt sighed. “I should probably let you go.”

“I don’t want to hang up,” Blaine said.

“Me either,” Kurt whispered. “But it’s just a few more days.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Blaine hung up the phone feeling empty, guilt welling in his stomach.

He’d never hated himself more.