The first day back at school, and Kurt found himself seated in Mr. Schuester's office, waiting while Schuester shut the door and took a seat on the corner of the desk, looking fatherly. Kurt chewed on the inside of his cheek.

            The break had been spectacular. Seeing Blaine perform, hugging him... it had been the perfect way to start off his Christmas vacation, not to mention making the most out of the free tickets by riding everything they had time for both before and after the performance. He and Rachel had never really been all that close, but they had a lot of fun together. He was glad that whatever event had brought about their friendship had happened. They had a lot more in common than he'd ever care to admit.

The holiday itself had been busy, since it was the first year with Carole and Finn in the mix, shopping had been twice as lengthy an operation, traditions had to be mashed together, and the baking never stopped. Kurt had been responsible for all the baking and most of the meals, partly because Carole was busy and didn't enjoy cooking or rolling dough, and partly because as nice as the suggestion that he teach Finn how to cook was, doing more than handing the boy a wooden spoon and assuring him that if he stood to the side he was helping, was more trouble than it was worth. Other than the mall, a few visits with Mercedes, and one slumber party with Rachel, Kurt mostly kept to himself and at home.

            New Year's Eve had been a quiet event, partly because of Burt's heart. They stayed in and spent the evening how they'd always spent it, with Burt watching television and Kurt getting some sewing done on a few new outfits. Only this year, Kurt was sewing a party dress for Carole, and Finn was there to talk with Burt about how one football team was better or worse than another for whatever reasons. Finn had been talked down from trying to have New Years with Rachel in favor of family time more easily than expected. When midnight came, they had their countdown and shared hugs and sparkling cider, then turned in to their respective rooms.

About a half hour after midnight, while he was still lying awake, Kurt received the first text he'd received from Blaine since Christmas.

            Happy New Year, Kurt!

            To which he replied, Happy New Year, Blaine. Any resolutions?

            And a minute later the answer was, To send all my good wishes to you.

            Kurt couldn't think of anything to say after that. It was silly and cute and so romantic. Every time he read it he could feel the same flutter-pause in his heartbeat. Nothing he could send back could possibly mean as much, no clever retort, no romantic reply, nothing. He wrote back with a simple smiley face, which was returned, and he went to sleep with his phone against his cheek. He paid for that by spending his first hour awake on New Year's Day morning searching around his bed for where said phone had snuck off to while he slept.

            In the week before classes started up again, he'd done his homework, caught up with all the predictions for this year's fashion, and worried. The third of January came and passed and screen on his phone never lit up again with Blaine Warbler. He occasionally looked back over the picture of Blaine with the bowties from their first shopping trip-he'd gone back to the same store to buy Blaine's present-or reread earlier text messages, but he never knew what to say to start communications again. He kept hoping Blaine would text him first.

            On the plus side, he and Finn were closer than ever. Other than the baking, which had ended up being a good opportunity to just talk with one another, they actually hung out some. Finn let Kurt drag him to the mall twice, the second time only because Rachel was also going. On a few occasions Puck had come over, and Kurt had sat with both of them while they played violent video games and cursed loudly. Puck was especially friendly, for Puck, and would punch him in the knee or the arm occasionally when his virtual character beat or shot the shit out of Finn's virtual character. He brought up Blaine, asking, "Don't you have a boyfriend you should be spending vacation with?" but didn't press the matter when Kurt decided to simply not answer.

It was nice to be around boys sometimes. With all their intolerable qualities like poor hygiene and violent tendencies, it was always remarkable how quickly boys got over things, and sometimes that was refreshing. Even though Kurt spent the time reading stacks of fashion magazines, only looking up when he found himself being lightly punched, it was more male bonding than Kurt had ever endured in his life, which made Burt happy. So much so that he didn't persist in asking Kurt about what had happened during the time before the break. Nor did he ask more than twice about Blaine. Overall, people were delicate and left Kurt to ignore things as he liked over the holidays, and he let himself forget about Karofsky. The moment of peace again was almost as nice as the time during the bully's suspension, except that knowing the reason for the abuse still didn't seem make it easier to deal with.

Once classes started up, Kurt couldn't even get to first period, escorting Mercedes on his arm and discussing new clothing items with her, before Schuester had asked him to come to his office. With the door shut and just the two of them alone inside, Kurt began to remember why school hadn't been so great before vacation.

            "How was winter break?"

            "Fine. Uneventful. How was yours?" Kurt replied, tense but trying to be polite. Schuester really was his favorite teacher; he wanted to be tolerable.

            "Fine. Thank you! Now... I brought you in here today..." Kurt bit his lip and started picking at his finger nails. He could guess. "... to talk about Dave Karofsky."

            "Why?" Kurt said, his heart twisting painfully.

            Schuester offered him some leftover peppermint candy, which he declined. "Well, because, I don't know all what happened before the break, but I do know that you're intimidated by him, and now that he's back I, we-your dad and I-just want you to feel safe here, Kurt."

            Now it came down to it. Burt mentioned it to Kurt again a few days previous, just to see if he could get out what had been wrong. Kurt thought he had reassured his dad, but he could see he was wrong.

            "Your dad suggested Karofsky have mandatory counseling with Miss Pillsbury twice a week, and I think that's a good idea. We've talked to his father as well and he'll be starting tomorrow."

            "Good," Kurt said. It was good. It was a fabulous idea. Maybe now Dave could get the help he needed without taking his frustrations out-

            "But there is a catch. Something I'd like to add in. Something your dad agrees with me on."

            Kurt hesitated, "What's that?"

            Schuester leaned forward, "I think you need to see Miss Pillsbury also."

            "What?!"

            "You're to meet with her twice a week too."

            Kurt stood up, a rush of those moments in the locker room flooded back. "How does that make any sense? I don't want to have to be in the same room with him! It's not my fault he's a violent, frightening..." Kurt's face was red and his heart was pounding as he searched his brain for nouns that could describe the bully. Schuester grabbed his arm and gently guided him back into the chair.

            "It wouldn't be at the same time."

            Kurt breathed a huge sigh of relief and briefly covered his face with his hands.

            "But it could eventually escalate to that."

            His hands were shaking. "What do you mean?" he asked. He didn't need to be counseled. He knew what was wrong, he didn't need anyone to explain it to him. He was terrified because he didn't know what would happen. This violent bully had pushed him, intimidated him, finally kissed him, and then threatened to kill him if he told anyone. It was pretty simple to understand. Dave was the one who needed counseling, not him. He didn't want to see Dave Karofsky ever again.

            "We want to try two weeks, just talking to you separately, see if we can come to some sort of understanding as to why Dave feels the need to pick on you. However, after that time, we may want to switch it so that once a week you two will be seeing Miss Pillsbury together."

            "We do not need couples counseling, Mr. Schue," Kurt hissed.

            Schuester put a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "I know, Kurt. I know this seems like a lot, but... it's for your safety. You shouldn't have to be afraid of anyone while you're here. We can work this out."

            Kurt shrugged the hand off his shoulder and took a breath. He was better than this, he could remain calm. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, Mr. Schue, but it just seems pointless."

            "I know, Kurt, but I think it'll help you..."

            "No, I mean, why go through all this? Karofsky's just a bully. Sure I've gotten shoved into lockers and called names and..." he paused a little bit longer, faltering for a word, "...And everything, but isn't that normal? This is high school. Everyone gets bullied. I can deal with it." His pocket vibrated. He imagined an all caps COURAGE on the screen and blinked to keep his eyes dry.

            Schuester frowned and looked down at his own hands, then he stood, walked around a bit, then pulled the second chair over so he was right next to Kurt, facing him. "Kurt, listen to me. I know you kids have had a really hard time, especially because of the Glee club. Getting made fun of and bullied is just a part of your everyday lives and you've bonded over it, and that's special, but... it isn't okay."

            Kurt stayed silent, so Schuester carried on.

            "You kids are picked on because... you stand out. You fall outside the norm and, I don't want to say you ‘flaunt it,' but you're proud, and you're talented. Especially you, Kurt: you're special. It's great! It's important to own who you are, but it makes you a target. It makes all of you targets, but I'm sure you've noticed that it's you more than anyone else." Kurt looked over his shoulder toward the door. "Bullies, like Dave Karofsky, see how special you are as an excuse to take personal insecurities out on you. But that doesn't make it okay, and that doesn't make it normal.

"Did you know, most kids don't get bullied? Sure, there'll be a few rude words or the occasional put-down, but for the most part, high school's a fairly safe place for teenagers. Getting a slushie thrown in your face every week, or every day, getting tossed in the dumpster or pushed into lockers, getting harassed, or getting beat up? Those aren't actually normal parts of high school, Kurt. They're just something that you've been putting up with, and something the school board has been expecting you to put up with... and it has to stop."

            Kurt started to take a breath, but his nose was stuffed up, so he sniffed, and then accepted the tissue he was handed to wipe his face with and blow his nose into. Why had that never occurred to him? No one had ever mentioned it, but it was true. How many kids went to McKinley and how many of the rest of them got pushed into lockers? Kurt had always been the shovee, he'd never seen another person get shoved. "So it's that something's wrong with me?" he asked pointedly.

            "No, Kurt, no. What I'm trying to say is that it's not that something's wrong with you, not at all. The problem is other students, and ignorance. We're going to fix what's wrong with them, so you can be yourself."

            Kurt just nodded. He could feel his phone vibrate again. He'd be going to class with puffy eyes if he didn't take control of himself quickly.

            "This year, I'm really going to try be there for you, Kurt. I think this counseling is really going to help, it'll be our first step. There will be someone for you to talk to, completely confidentially, when you feel like you can't talk to me, or to your dad, or your friends, and we'll work to reeducate Dave Karofsky, as well as talk to the rest of the football team, because I know they're the top offenders. Okay? We're going to change things around here, Kurt. You and me. Next week Principal Figgins will be holding an assembly to address bullying. I'm not asking you to speak at it, but I'd like you to give me some input, things you'd like him to go over, anything like that, just let me know, okay? Next year's your senior year. You shouldn't have to spend it feeling like you aren't safe here, so we are going to make it safe. For you, and for everyone. Alright? ...Do you want a minute?"

            Kurt shook his head and smiled, wiping his eyes on yet another tissue, careful to rub gently around his eyeline to reduce redness. "No, I should get to class," he said, standing up and picking up his bag.

            "You know I'm here for you, Kurt, no matter what," Schuester reminded him, standing also.

            Kurt smiled, "Thank you, Mr. Schue," he said, hugging his favorite teacher, partly because he was grateful, and partly to put on the appearance of gratitude in the place of nervousness. "I appreciate it."

            Schuester just smiled, watched him leave, then took a deep breath.

            As soon as he slid into his seat next to Rachel in his first class, just before the bell, she handed him a jewel case with a DVD-R in it. He turned it over in his hands. It was unmarked, other than being blindingly pink.

            "What's this?" he asked.

            "A late Christmas gift. I finally burned you a copy of our Christmas duet from the Friday before break."

            He smiled. He'd forgotten all about that. She'd set up three cameras to record them and messed with sound equipment for much longer than reasonable. It had been annoying on the day of the performance, but now he was grateful he was finally getting to see it. "Thank you, Rachel."

            She tapped the case with one finger, "Better than that, there's a special gift at the end."

            "What is it?"

            "You'll see. All I'm gonna say is, I sent the same gift to Mr. Blaine Warbler Anderson this morning."

            "You WHAT?" Kurt dropped the DVD and had to retrieve it from the floor. "What is it?"

            She didn't acknowledge his question, "Also I have a copy for Finn of my Christmas song present to him. So that he can remember. Make sure I get it to him by the end of the day, okay?"

            The teacher had begun calling role, so Kurt dropped his voice to a hiss. "What is on this disk?"

            "A present. No more information."

            Kurt spent the rest of the day dreading every potential that could be lurking within the so-called "present."

            That afternoon, he slid the disk into his computer tray, making a mental promise with himself to watch through the entire duet performance rather than skipping ahead to see what the thing at the end could be. He and Rachel had done a beautiful call-and-response version of "Silver Bells" for the Glee club. He watched through, enjoying how well she'd chosen all the best angles, even though they were primarily of herself, and wondering where she ever found the time to learn, let alone do, such careful video editing. Rachel was a special kind of enigma, but their voices sounded fantastic together. Why hadn't they done more duets in the past?

            When "Silver Bells" ended with considerably more applause than the number of hands that had been present in the room could have supplied, the screen went black, then read "Merry Christmas!" in red and silver, and immediately after, a much lower quality video started playing.

            It was slightly dark and far away, but he could make out after a second that the thing covered in white was a stage. The sound quality went from tinny to just moderately poor and he could hear the piano playing. It occurred to him that was the McKinley high school auditorium he was looking at, and then he heard his voice.

            He paused the video and just stared. You couldn't visually tell it was him, he was so pixilated, but at the piano that the camera was trying to focus on, that was him. He even remembered that day, because he remembered playing that song. He picked up his phone.

            You STALKED me?

            Rachel must have been waiting for him to text because there was hardly a pause before she replied, Don't be mad! Keep watching!

            You sent this to BLAINE??? Kurt didn't feel bad about the extra punctuation. He couldn't emphasize how much this was making his palms sweat. Even if the visual and audio quality hadn't been so crappy, he didn't want Blaine to see him singing this song! He'd been embarrassed enough about Blaine coming in on the end of it!

            Keep watching! She replied again.

            I haven't even heard from him since New Year's! What are you doing??

            This time there was a long pause, and then, Better contact him then, because I put your name under "from" on the package. Keep watching.

            He gawked at the phone, then he turned the stalker video back on. His voice rang out of his speakers again. He sounded good if you could get past the quality of the audio, he was proud of that, but he sounded sad. He had been sad. He didn't want Blaine to hear that. He had just been venting. It had been a personal thing. "And I need you more tonight, and I need you more than ever..." rang out and it was heart wrenching just to hear himself sing it. He had been thinking about Blaine when he sang those words, that song, but that didn't mean he wanted Blaine to hear it.

            He picked up his phone and texted, Blaine, if you got a package, it was from Rachel. Just toss it. But he didn't send it. He couldn't just start off with that after all that silence between them. He deleted it and tried again, Hi, Blaine! How was your vacation? If you got a disk that said it's from me, it was from Rachel. Please just toss it.

            There was a horrible note at the end of the song and Kurt closed, and then rolled his eyes. Why would she keep that in? Hearing the song was bad enough, but the pity party at the end where he'd slammed his head onto the keys? That really couldn't be taken out? This wasn't a treat. He opened up his phone to text her again, but then he heard the voice. Thank the acoustics in the auditorium that you could clearly hear the words, "That was beautiful!" in Blaine's sultry, deep voice. The video cut out after that. Kurt's phone buzzed and he picked it up.

            Haha! Okay, are you sure? Vacation was tiring. How've you been?

            Kurt swallowed and tried to come up with a response that wouldn't sound panicked and fixated on the disk. He wasn't paying attention to the computer screen until the first few notes from "Baby it's Cold Outside" screeched through. It made his heart stop. Why had Rachel even been there for the whole thing? Where was she hiding and did she know what personal space was? He set his phone down without answering.

            It was their performance. He was getting to see his duet with Blaine! Despite how violated it felt to have been taped during what had been a particularly intimate, and supposedly private, moment, he was glad he got to relive it. The footage was blurry, but it wasn't easy to mistake the dark blurs weaving in and out of the white blurs that were Rachel Berry's "Christmas Spectacular" set. He touched the edge of his screen. Poor sound quality or not, they sounded perfect together. Really perfect. He could almost feel Blaine's touch on his arm again from where they'd hugged only a few days after this, and he could still taste the smell of him... Now, here was the video proof that they'd sung together, and that their voices were practically made for singing together. He felt light headed and paused the video again.

            He picked up his phone and texted Blaine, Fantastic! But abstained from adding an "I missed you."

He pressed ‘play' to hear the end of the song, then picked up his phone to text Rachel, Thank you.

            She replied with, Any time.

            When the song ended, and he looked up to see that the video was still rolling. He and Blaine were perched on the edge of the stage, side by side. You couldn't hear anymore, but he remembered it. Why did she record this? Why wouldn't she have cut it? Seriously, what happened to being a video editing virtuoso? He stared at the screen. Suddenly he was not so fantastic. Tiny, blurry him got up, eventually helping tiny, blurry Blaine to his feet. They stood close, they separated... and the texting... you could tell.

            Good to hear! ... So what's on the disk? Blaine texted, the sudden vibration against the desk making Kurt jump in his seat.

            He looked it over, then closed his phone and set it on the desk. Even the words that had been spoken aloud didn't come across with the bad sound quality, but you didn't need quality to tell that things weren't okay. Besides, he knew what had gone down. He'd lived it. Blaine had a copy of that. He didn't want him to see it. He didn't want to remind Blaine of that time he'd been a brat and stormed out on him. What he wanted was for Blaine to throw away the disk, never see the evidence of the train wreck that was Kurt that week before break. What he wanted was to forget it too and to ask Blaine out for coffee again. But what was he supposed to say?

            "Oh, hey Blaine! Remember that time I was a big baby and was super rude to you because I couldn't handle that I got trapped and kissed by a bully? Well don't worry! I'm in mandatory counseling for it now. Do you want to date me?" He lay his head down on the desk. He looked up in time to see his tiny blurry figure leave the stage completely and Blaine... Blaine sunk down onto the floor. You could barely see what he was doing, but he clearly sat down, and then he moved slightly. "Oh please don't let him be crying," Kurt practically prayed at the screen. The camera stayed on blurry Blaine until he seemed to look around, stood, and exited from the opposite side of the stage that Kurt had stormed out from.

Kurt drew in an unsteady breath. Had he made Blaine miserable? He hadn't meant to. He thought back to the coffee in his locker he received the day after this was filmed. It he hadn't been so stupid and sensitive, they could have gone for coffee that same day. Blaine shouldn't have had to put up with him.

            He looked back at Blaine's last text and responded, Nothing. Please don't watch it.

            Sounds serious. Are you sure? was the response. Teasing. Very cute.

            Kurt sighed at it. He probably wasn't. He had to remember the hug. The hug had come after the storm-out, and the way Blaine's eyes had looked when he stopped them from leaving after his number; he hadn't been miserable then. If he just didn't look at the disk, maybe it wouldn't ruin everything. Maybe Kurt could get what he wanted anyway and forget everything else. He texted nothing for a while and then finally sent, Would you still like to go for coffee with me next week?

            He braced for a response, but when it came it was, I thought you'd never ask. Are Wednesdays still okay?

            Yes. See you then! Kurt responded, smiling through the uplifting feeling that swept over him. He'd erased "Of course!" from the text after typing it in initially after "Yes" because he didn't want to seem desperate. He didn't want to be some creep tying Blaine down to a dumb obligation or anything. "He thought I'd never ask? Could he be more charming?" Kurt wondered. Still, there was the disk to worry about.

Before Blaine could respond he resolved and added a second text, The thing you got from Rachel, just promise you won't watch it, okay?

            Should I be afraid?

            Just, please don't.

            Blaine raised his eyebrows at the last text. It sounded serious. How embarrassing could it possibly be? He turned over the blue jewel case in his hand. Inside was a pink DVD-R that had been left at Dalton for him inside an envelope marked "To Blaine Anderson, From Kurt. Please watch!"

            If I watch it, will I lose the honor of your company at Lima Bean?

            Kurt actually laughed at the response. How delightfully old fashioned "the honor of your company" sounded! The thought that it might be that important to Blaine to see him made him smile. He wasn't going to lie and pretend there was any chance he might not show up. He wanted to see the boy just as badly. He thought about it, staring at the now blank computer screen, then texted back, No. Just the dignity of it.

            Now the curiosity was too great. Rachel was too clever a stalker to make Kurt's warning irrelevant, but he just wanted to know what she'd have sent him. Honestly, he just hoped Kurt's face would be on it somewhere. With a mental apology to the boy in question, he popped it in his computer and listened to it whir as it started up.

            No promises for your dignity then. See you Wednesday!

            Kurt cursed under his breath, and started replaying the disk.