July 6, 2012, 10:50 p.m.
Just Like the White Winged Dove: Chapter 8
T - Words: 3,705 - Last Updated: Jul 06, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 23/23 - Created: Feb 02, 2012 - Updated: Jul 06, 2012 1,616 0 0 0 0
Blaine took a few deep breaths, stood up, and left a few moments after Kurt, out the same door he'd come in. He was afraid that if he took a different route he would get lost in McKinley high school, so he decided to not take any chances by trying to follow Kurt. In the hall he passed a really tall boy he recognized but couldn't place. He didn't want to stop and explain why he was wandering around McKinley, wearing a Dalton Academy uniform and carrying a boombox, so he just kept going. Besides, the other boy was just then answering his phone.
The whole way home he berated himself. There were so many things he could have done, so many ways he could have handled that situation and he'd blown it. This boy he barely knew, but felt strongly about, had just told him that the bully he'd been saying he was afraid of last week, had kissed him this week. And it clearly couldn't have been a good experience, that was evident from the crying. Gah, seeing that boy cry could break the hardest heart and it tore at Blaine's to think he hadn't been able to do anything for him. If he was the boyfriend then he'd just failed. But really, there was a lot more information Blaine needed. Kurt had been so terse about the subject that Blaine really knew nothing at all about the bully. Why couldn't he have texted "Tell me everything" and actually made a difference by giving Kurt someone to vent to? If he'd done that, he would know what was going on, and he would still be there, maybe holding Kurt in his arms, and not driving away feeling miserable. Why had he thought "Are you okay?" was the right thing to ask at all?
At a stoplight, he almost didn't hit the break in time and was hanging into the cross walk. "Because that was more important to me," he reminded himself. Because when he read those words off the screen of his phone, he hadn't cared about anything else but whether or not Kurt had been hurt. He knew he wasn't okay emotionally because that was apparent, so he'd defaulted to what he could fix. He'd wanted to know if he could heal an actual wound, anything physical that he could wrap his hands around and comfort because he didn't know what to do to mend the rest. To top it all off, he'd gone and promised not to tell anyone. He was realizing now how stupid that was.
The light turned green and he pressed down on the accelerator.
One week. One week was too short a time to get involved like this. Well, more than a week. They were actually coming up on two weeks now. It wasn't stupid that Kurt's safety was that important to him, was it? They had been dating-at least, Blaine thought so. No matter what they were, it had to be reasonable by this point that he genuinely felt sick to his stomach over seeing Kurt so upset. If only he hadn't promised not to mention it... someone else needed to know; someone who could help. Someone who could make Kurt safe so he could smile again the way he had that first time Blaine saw him.
At home that night, Blaine found himself with a throbbing headache. He hadn't had any coffee that afternoon, since his meeting with Kurt had gone awry, and he was having serious caffeine withdrawals. He took a couple aspirin rather than giving in to his coffee craving, and considered that his punishment for caffeine addiction. He was heating up leftovers for dinner when a call came on the landline. He rolled his eyes. The only people who call landlines are solicitors or political factions. He set the fork he'd been drumming on his thigh with down on the counter by the stove and answered.
"Hello, Anderson residence. May I ask who's calling?"
A female voice responded, "Hello! Is Blaine there?"
Blaine frowned. Anyone he knew who would be calling him had his cell phone number. He checked the cell phone, but there were no messages. "He's speaking. Who is this?"
"Blaine?" she sounded excited now, "This is Rachel Berry. Kurt's friend. Best friend. Emotional confidant. I'm the singer in New Directions."
Blaine stood puzzled for a moment and then said, "Hello. ... How did you get my number?" More importantly, he wondered, if she was Kurt's friend, why hadn't she called his cell phone number? Some of Kurt's friends already texted with him regularly; Mercedes, Tina, and Mike Chang.
"That's not important," said Rachel, who had not thought to ask for Blaine's number and had instead called the Dalton Academy office registry, gotten Wes' number under the guise of intending to send her child to Dalton to join the Warblers, then told him she needed Blaine's number. Wes hadn't been keen to give away Blaine's cell number, but he was willing to give up Blaine's last name. From there, Rachel had gone through every Anderson in the district phone book. "What's important is Kurt."
"...Oh." Blaine couldn't think of what else to say. Of course Kurt was important, but he'd said to give him some space. Blaine wasn't sure what else he should do.
"Whatever you do, do not let him go."
"What are you talking about?"
Rachel cleared her throat, "Kurt's been upset the past few days. He's been closed off and won't give any information why to his best friends. And I won't say how, but I happen to know he's confided more in you than in anyone else, right? Well, this is important, Blaine: Don't let him push you away."
"What do you mean?"
She paused for a minute. "I know that, just like every diva, Kurt puts on a front, like... he's better than everyone else or he doesn't need you, but once you get to know him...Kurt's actually really shy. Um...and sometimes he shuts people out rather than dealing with things. Just, promise, if he tries to shut you out, don't let him, okay?"
Blaine sighed and removed his meal from the microwave. "He told me to give him some space."
"Don't give him any space! That's not what he needs right now."
"What should I do?"
"Be his hero! Okay! I have it all planned out!" she squealed and something rustled on her line. Blaine sat down and ate a mouthful of microwaved noodles, rolling the word "hero" over in his head. He'd blown his chance at that already today. "First off, you need to tell me what he said to you."
Blaine smiled. How sneaky. "I can't."
"It's really important that I know..."
"Sorry, Rachel. But, he told me not to, and...I care about Kurt too much to betray his trust."
"Oh come on! He won't mind if his boyfriend tells me," she said, matter-of-factly.
Blaine's heart started beating fast. "Boyfriend?" he asked and listened to the silence from the other line. That word... they'd never said it to each other, but hearing it now...
"...Oh. Aren't you...? I mean..."
"Did he say that?"
"Oh no! No no no no! He didn't say anything like that!"
"Oh." Blaine set his fork down again and took a deep breath. For a half second there he might have been dreaming.
"But he's hardly said three things to me all week-"
"So neither of us really knows then, huh?" The question hung in the air between them for several long minutes. Rachel was staring at her own face in the mirror, trying to mentally coach herself to stop saying things that could possibly break up her only contact to their rivals, and to ruin this relationship for Kurt. New Directions would need Kurt to win at Regionals, she had to sort him out because losing him was not an option. Blaine was trying to remind himself that it had only been two weeks, they weren't even official, as he'd just been reminded. He decided he really wasn't hungry anymore.
"Do you love him?" Rachel asked slowly after the incredibly long pause. She immediately gave herself a horrified look in the mirror. That wasn't what she'd meant, at least, not how it came out...If that didn't ruin everything, it would be a miracle.
Blaine shoved the plate away and rested his forehead against the cold, granite countertop. He was sixteen, how was he supposed to know the answer to that? The answer was probably "No." the answer was "Probably not." but he didn't know. He'd hardly even gone out with anyone other than Kurt. Instead he defaulted to, "I've gotta go."
"Please don't leave him alone, Blaine!" she rushed in as quickly as she could say it and kicked herself for ruining the conversation and her chances at helping Kurt.
"I'll talk to you later."
He hung up and left his head where it lay against the counter until his nose started to feel squished, then he rolled his head to the side and looked at his cell phone. Maybe not ‘love' but... maybe. Maybe that was how he felt about Kurt. There was no way to know one way or the other. He was in high school; he'd never experienced it, but for all he knew what he was feeling now could be it. He sat up, grabbed the phone and took it upstairs with him, and sat down on his computer chair.
Kurt was helping Finn with the clean up after dinner, trying to avoid all attempts at conversation, having forgotten the apology brownies as soon as Finn mentioned having seen Blaine at school that afternoon, when his pocket vibrated. He wiped his hands on a dish towel and checked the message. The screen read Blaine Warbler. With a glance at Finn, he walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs toward his room.
The show is this Saturday. I perform at 4:45. I have two free tickets. Take anyone. What's your locker number and combination?
Kurt frowned at the text and immediately texted back, Why? So much for putting some distance between them.
So they can be waiting for you there in the morning.
That Saturday afternoon, Blaine was dressed up in an all white suit, which he didn't particularly mind, going over the duet with a girl he did mind, because she was breathy and dressed up like a Santa stripper, pulling her already tiny dress down further and further in the front and heaving her chest at him in hopes he'd notice and... what? Grope her? The manager of the park had stopped in to see if they were ready, and it seemed to Blaine it would be rude to warn the girl he played for the other team in front of someone else. Besides, the manager certainly did play for her team and Blaine didn't wish anyone so obviously creepy on the girl, skankily dressed or not. The manager was not only fat and bald, but sweating through the armpits of his shirt and constantly licking his lips. Blaine was creeped out enough, and it wasn't even directed at him.
When they'd gone over the song three times with no improvement but considerably more chest, the only thing keeping him from running away was the chivalrous notion that at least he was preventing those grubby hands from wandering inappropriately onto that poor, unfortunately dressed girl.
When the manager finally left, four more failed run-throughs later, the girl tossed her brunette curls over her shoulder and leaned in close to him. "We've got an hour before the show, cutie."
Blaine crinkled up his nose, smiled, and finally escaped the practice room to get stage make-up put on.
It didn't get better when they were on stage. He knew how to play a male lead, but she kept puckering her lips and leaning into him, so finally it felt like he was playing the teaser rather than the teased. Reversed roles, with him singing the lines that were supposed to seduce, "Gosh, your lips look delicious," but trying not to cringe at the same time while leaning away from oncoming lips. The whole set up seemed to be a farce of itself. This would not be his crowning performance. Who let her dress that way in front of children? Why wouldn't she play the part the way they'd practiced?
The redeeming thing was, all the Warblers had shown up, even the ones who had told him they definitely wouldn't be able to make it. They were taking up the whole front row, grinning and giving him thumbs ups, a few of them occasionally tilting their heads to see beneath the Santa stripper's tiny skirt. When the song finally ended, and he stood up quickly from the stage couch to get her hands out of his lap, he bowed and winked at his fellow Warblers.
As he stood up from the bow, the girl forced herself into a dip in his arms. He barely caught her in time, but tried to smile it off like it was all part of the show. That was when he noticed Kurt. He was sitting two rows up from the back of the sparsely occupied amphitheater with the brunette girl, who he remembered was Rachel Berry. She was wearing a red poncho that matched her lipstick, and he... Kurt, was in a black turtleneck, a beautiful fitted jacket that looked sort of blue from the stage, and...he was there. He was on his feet clapping.
Blaine didn't want to take his eyes off him. When the applause died down enough to warrant their dramatic exit off the stage, he ducked away from his singing partner, who was slipping him her number, and rushed past the crew, skipping the dressing room and making his way around to the back of the audience. He ran fast, apologizing as he pushed past people and ignored compliments. When he got there, Kurt and Rachel were gathering their things up to go.
The Warblers were also making their exit, and they spotted him, but stood clustered together at the back of the seating area while he rushed over to stop the exiting couple.
"Kurt!" he exclaimed, stopping right in front of the subject and then also acknowledging Rachel. "You came!"
"I wouldn't have missed it," Kurt smiled. The smile! Maybe it was the promise of a break from school, but all traces of those teary eyes were eliminated. Rachel cleared her throat, so Kurt added, "Rachel volunteered herself as my plus one before I could ask anyone else."
Blaine smiled at Rachel. She was definitely spirited, although he was the one trying not to bounce on his heels. He wanted to throw his arms around Kurt. He'd come to see him sing!
After a pause Kurt remembered his manners, "Oh! Thank you for the tickets! And the map. It was very helpful." His hands were behind his back.
"I wanted to make sure you came," Blaine admitted.
"And the coffee," Kurt said, then he blushed deeply and pursed his lips to the side, trying to hold in a smile. Waiting in his locker on Thursday morning, just like Blaine had said they would be, were two tickets to Kings Island, a map of the park with the location of the performance circled in red, and weighing them both down was a paper Lima Bean cup with Kurt's coffee order and a scrawled out "Please?" drawn on the blank side of the cup beneath a smiley face. Until he'd opened his locker that morning, Kurt had been planning not to go, but knowing Blaine woke up early enough to make it to Lima Bean, then to McKinley, break into Kurt's locker, and still make it on time to Dalton? That made Kurt's day. The little pleading "Please?" in Blaine's (he assumed it was Blaine's) handwriting was too adorable and sent the blood rushing to his cheeks every time he saw it. It might have been the caffeine, but he'd found himself just smiling and giggling in class. The threat of Karofsky never once crossed his mind the entire first half of the day. After a morning like that, Kurt would have walked a thousand miles and stood in the sweltering heat, sweating through his best clothes just to see Blaine. Lucky the weather was cool and it was a lot less drastic than that.
Blaine blushed also and smiled, looking to the side to keep his mind focused and stop himself from giggling happily. "Glad you liked it." For the past two days he hadn't known whether or not Kurt had been coming-he hadn't received a single text from Kurt-but it had been worth it to be surprised like this, with no expectations and everything to gain from the experience of getting to see him again. All that worry had been sand-blasted away with that first glimpse. He really was bouncing now.
Kurt gasped and then pulled what he'd been hiding behind his back around to hold out to Blaine. "Also, Merry Christmas!"
In his hand was a small square package, about four-by-four, wrapped in shimmering dark blue with a neat red bow with gold trim tied around it. The tag was a little yellow bird that had "Blaine" written across its wing.
"It's a Warbler box!" Blaine gasped, too surprised to even take it until Kurt stretched out his arm further and pushed it toward him. "Kurt! You didn't have to... Thank you. Thank you so much."
Kurt grinned and then whispered, "Don't open it till Christmas."
Blaine pressed it to his chest and hugged it. Then Kurt pulled his other hand from behind his back. In this one was a bouquet of white roses.
"And these... are to congratulation you on your performance. If I'd known you'd be wearing white I'd have brought red roses for contrast, but I thought, with the Christmas theme..." he trailed off nervously as Blaine's fingers touched his while he accepted the roses.
"Oh, Kurt... they're beautiful." He brought them to his nose, smiling. His eyes were so big and round with excitement, Kurt felt swallowed up in them. If he could promise himself he'd see Blaine's eyes that big and beautiful each time, he would buy him a gift every day for the rest of his life.
Rachel had a look scrunched on her face that most clearly said, "Oh, you two!" and finally she just burst out, "Oh! Go on then!" and stepped to the side, indicating for them to hug.
Taken aback, Kurt just blushed more furiously, but Blaine took the hint and initiated the hug. He steadied himself and tried to remind his body what hugging was like. It started off incredible awkward. They sort of robotically gestured to one another for a moment, the way you do when you try to move out of someone's way and they move the same way and you're stuck at an impasse before one of you just waits for the other to fix things. Blaine finally got the box in one hand and the roses in the other so they were no longer between them, preventing a proper hug, maneuvered them so they wouldn't poke into Kurt, and leaned in.
Once they were in each other's arms it was better. No, it was perfect. Kurt's eyes rolled closed. Blaine's shoulders felt broader than they looked, the white suit was a coarse material but unmistakably soft under his chin, and the smell was incredible. It was different from before, the sweetness Kurt couldn't place was still there along with the gel cologne, but there was something else as well, something that must just be Blaine. It was deep and rich and manly. How long was too long to hold on? He could have died then, with those arms squeezing him. That would have been a perfect way to go.
Blaine had the advantage of being shorter, so he could press his nose against Kurt's shoulder even more easily. He pushed his cheek against Kurt's neck and tried to just breathe, and not to sniff. Kurt used an expensive body wash that smelled something like orchid and spices-something Blaine couldn't place. It was a soft scent, like a flutter above Kurt's incredibly soft skin, but it was nearly intoxicating. He squeezed tighter, making sure not to let the presents fall from his grip. "Thank you," he whispered.
They held each other long enough that Rachel had time to take a third-wheel glance around and notice the gaggle of Warblers waiting patiently to ambush Blaine. They were all grinning and waved back when she gave an excited little wave and thrust a thumb in the boy's direction with a grin. A few of them mocked silent cheering and she held back a giggle. Finally Kurt realized it had been too long and began the process of pulling away from each other. They caught a shared glance before stepping several feet apart, apologetically blushing.
"So, um, I'll see you in the New Year, right?" Kurt asked, taking Rachel's arm as though that announced his intention to leave.
Blaine breathed deep and nodded, "Yeah... yes! I'll be back on the third."
Kurt nodded also. Rachel was squeezing his arm and grinning so broadly. He hated how obvious she was sometimes, but it also made him happy that she was so excited for him. "Have fun on your vacation."
"I'll try. I'll... keep in touch," Blaine said. Kurt agreed and said goodbye, then walked away with Rachel, throwing a glance back and an adorable smile. Blaine felt like he was melting and at the same time wondered why he hadn't promised more than to stay in touch over the break. He could have set up a date to meet up again rather than just a vague promise. That would have seemed more reasonable. What if he really didn't hear from Kurt until the New Year?
Just then, a perfectly tuned acappella chord broke out behind him. He grinned and turned to be greeted by open arms of his best friends.
On December the twenty fifth, Kurt received a text: I love the bowties. <3