July 6, 2012, 10:50 p.m.
Just Like the White Winged Dove: Chapter 4
T - Words: 3,054 - Last Updated: Jul 06, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 23/23 - Created: Feb 02, 2012 - Updated: Jul 06, 2012 1,688 0 0 0 0
Kurt had spent the weekend and the few days leading up to Wednesday trying to figure out whether or not it was a date and what to wear that would be perfect and seem fabulously casual regardless of whether it turned out to be or not. He’d been in consultation with magazines, the internet, Mercedes and Rachel, but while sitting down at Lima Bean he realized he wasn’t satisfied with what he’d chosen. He felt too frumpy for a date and too fashionable for a casual coffee meeting.
He got a text at that moment. It was from Rachel, so he ignored it.
Dalton Academy let out later than McKinley, but luckily Blaine didn’t have Warbler practice to attend Wednesdays, so he’d promised to meet up with Kurt as soon as he got out of class. Still, he would be several minutes from arriving. Kurt had decided to just get to the coffee shop, order, and take the time before Blaine arrived to calm himself down. Making a dramatic entrance on a scene he wasn’t one hundred percent sure about would just make him more nervous right now. He’d never been anyone’s boyfriend before. Despite some really sweet texts, he still wasn’t sure he was anyone’s boyfriend or that he was even sitting there, dressed up in what he liked to think was not quite the right combination of casual and chic, waiting for a date. He’d only spoken with Blaine once, and that was within the context of a larger group of people. This would be his first time speaking to, or seeing Blaine alone, and he didn’t know what to expect.
Another problem was Finn. He’d been absolutely sure that Blaine meant to get close to him as a set up for spying, the way Jesse St James had to Rachel the year before. It had taken a lot to talk him down from a rage, mostly by reminding him that it wasn’t his life and to stay out of it, which wasn’t effective until the rest of the Glee club had gotten involved on Monday and had agreed unanimously that Kurt was more responsible and aware than Rachel and would not make the same mistake.
That Wednesday morning, Kurt had been apprehended by Puck. In a weird way, Puck was being Kurt’s biggest fan and support. He asked Kurt, “Are you still going out with the prancing pony private academy nancy-boy?”
From Puck, and really only from Puck, this was meant to be endearing. Kurt replied, “It’s just for coffee.” Puck shifted uncomfortably. “Don’t tell me you’re on Finn’s side suddenly,” Kurt frowned at him.
Puck denied it. They were still in the boy’s locker room and Kurt was eager to get out of it. “I just wanted to let you know,” Puck said slowly, running his tongue between his teeth and gums while he paused, “Karofsky’s suspension is ending next week.”
Kurt had forgotten about that. Puck had forgotten about it too, but Rachel had confronted him a few hours before reminding him not to get into fights that could cost them Regionals. Kurt didn’t speak, he just nodded slowly, so Puck gave him a punch in the arm, which made Kurt cringe audibly. He told Kurt to chill in a voice that made him want to, and said Finn would get over himself about Blaine and they’d both be there to watch out for Kurt. Then he promised they’d beat the shit out of Karofsky if he tried anything. He gave Kurt a small shove to show he meant it and then headed off for his first class.
Kurt closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. He was glad Puck wasn’t gay. If he were, he’d have probably ended up dating him ages ago because Puck kept being his hero… But that never seemed to end well for anyone. Kurt was always going to be better friends with his girls, but it was nice sometimes, especially with Puck, to be reminded that he had boys on his side too.
Kurt was finishing his coffee and wishing he could re-spray his hair when Blaine finally showed up, walking through the doors like he was walking on stage and glancing about with the air of someone who knows exactly what they’re looking for and expects to find it.
He’d texted to tell Kurt he was leaving Dalton, and he’d gotten to Lima Bean a few minutes later. Kurt forced himself not to get up out of the seat or to wave and instead pretended he was interested in his cell phone and waited till Blaine approached the table.
“Hello, Kurt,” Blaine said, looking him up and down. You look even better out of costume. Are those designer pants? He wanted to ask, but focused on steady breathing instead. Kurt looked up with a tentative smile and Blaine wanted to pinch himself.
Kurt loved that Blaine was still wearing his Dalton Academy blazer. It looked amazing on him, even more refined in a casual setting than it had on stage. He was trying not to be overjoyed that Blaine had come in alone and did not seem to be expecting anyone else because he hadn’t commented on Kurt’s choice of a table with only two chairs.
“Hi,” was all Kurt could manage to reply, choosing to stand now.
There was no etiquette available in either of their buckets of knowledge for how to interact in this situation. No idea of whether they should hug or shake hands or what, so they stood awkwardly facing one another for a moment before Blaine noticed Kurt’s coffee cup. “Ah. I see you’re not going to let me pay for your coffee.”
Kurt could feel himself go red. He bit his lip. The coffee cup was now seated like a dangerous foe in the middle of the table, a slight stain around the lip of the lid which he suddenly found very interesting.
“Sorry, I just went ahead since I got here early. To tide myself over,” he tried.
Blaine sloughed off his bag and set it on the chair, claiming his place and solidifying his presence. “I’m sorry I’m so late,” he said, raising his eyebrows and looking slightly embarrassed.
“Oh no! No, no, you’re exactly on time. I just…” Kurt trailed off to avoid saying “couldn’t wait.”
“Just?”
Kurt paused. He’d been hoping Blaine wouldn’t pick up on that last syllable. He rolled the idea around in his mouth and then it came out awkwardly, “Just… love… coffee.”
Blaine smiled. This was too awkward. He knew he didn’t know how to act. He knew this was strange, but he hadn’t been able to get Kurt out of his mind since Sectionals. He’d had dreams about him and woken up telling himself those soft hands and milky, perfect face couldn’t be at all accurate. But they were. He’d never met someone who looked like Kurt. On a superficial level, Kurt was the most beautiful and unique person he’d ever met— he was like a hand crafted porcelain doll. This was the same boy who had sung that song at sectionals and looked like a classical leading man. Knowing what Kurt’s voice was like, and having been unable to refrain himself from listening to “The Edge of Seventeen” on repeat for the past few days, Blaine was just hoping he wouldn’t be disappointed now that he had Kurt alone. He hoped their personalities would mesh and it wasn’t just a fantasy. He hoped that this date would allow him to see if they could maybe be boyfriends. Or maybe, at least, they could be friends.
“I love coffee too,” Blaine replied, “How about you let me get you some more. What do you drink?”
“Ah…grande nonfat mocha,” Kurt said, then Blaine winked and told him he’d be right back.
What Blaine failed to notice as he walked up to the counter to place their orders, and what Kurt didn’t, was a gaggle of girls in sunglasses sitting just far enough away and glancing back just often enough to be conspicuous. Kurt pursed his lips, opened his phone and texted Rachel.
What are you doing here?
The first reply came from Tina, Spying.
Rachel’s reply was, Just out for coffee. Total coincidence seeing you here! As she turned around and waved at him and then turned back to her coffee.
Kurt texted Rachel back, Well cut it out.
We’re just worried about you, was the text back from Tina. Mercedes wasn’t among the group. She’s opted to let Kurt do his own thing, but Rachel had wrangled up Tina and Santana, who was mostly just bored and uninterested in anything but whether or not Blaine was actually gay.
Blaine arrived back at the table with two paper cups before Kurt could text back and he slammed his phone shut and put it in his bag.
“Texting someone?” Blaine asked as he set down the coffee in front of Kurt and reiterated the order to make sure he’d gotten it right.
“No one important,” Kurt said, with a glare toward his stalker friends.
Blaine sat down and crossed his legs. Kurt’s diagnosis was that Blaine was confident and amazing no matter where he was. It was like the blazer gave him a sort of executive power and he could be whatever he wanted or get whatever he needed and he was safe and calm in any environment. “How was school?”
Kurt raised his eyebrows at the attempt at small talk. “Uneventful. We had a celebration in Glee club. We’re starting to get ready for regionals. By which I mean messing around for a while so we can panic at the last moment.”
Blaine grinned and nodded, “Same for The Warblers. Except we’re usually pretty good about not panicking.”
Kurt sipped his coffee. It seemed to taste even better than usual.
Blaine continued the conversation after a pause, “So… I should have asked the other day, but… are you…”
“Gay?” Kurt picked up the conversation quickly. His confidence coming back with the promise that Blaine was at least interested. “Yes. I’m the only person out at McKinley. Honestly I’d been starting to think I was the only one out in Ohio.”
The “yes” had lifted Blaine’s hopes, but the following response was a bit crushing. He worked his jaw. He knew McKinley was a public school, and he’d been to public school. He’d been out at a public school. “That must be hard,” he commented softly, and then sipped his own beverage.
Kurt smiled, and shrugged. “It was. It still is. I mean, my friends have been amazing. Glee club has really supported me.”
Blaine’s eyebrows were knit with some concern. Kurt’s eyes were on his coffee cup, which he was turning around in his hands.
“There was this Neanderthal who was trying to make my life a living hell, but Puck, um, you know, the scary looking one with the Mohawk and the swagger?” Blaine agreed that he remembered him, having been slightly intimidated by him not so many days ago. Kurt continued, “He stood up for me. We were barely friends and now… now I haven’t been scared for a long time. People aren’t all okay with who I am, and I know that, but at least I’ve felt safe at McKinley. I know they understand me there.”
“That’s amazing,” Blaine murmured.
“It’s nice. I don’t know how I got so lucky. New Directions accept me, my dad accepts me… I’m lonely, but I’m not alone.” He smiled and Blaine’s eyes traced the dimples in his cheeks and then when Kurt scrunched up his nose to stifle an awkward laugh he watched the way his face crinkled. It was reassuring to Kurt to be able to say he had support now, even with the promise of Karofsky’s return on his mind.
“You are really lucky.”
Kurt looked up at Blaine. He didn’t want the conversation to die being all about himself. “I’m sure The Warblers are really accepting of you, too. You seem to be their star.”
Blaine laughed. He shook his head. “I’m hardly more than a front-man. But yes, they have been really supportive. All of Dalton has. I mean, there are hardly any other guys like me, but Dalton has a zero-tolerance for harassment program that’s strictly enforced, and that was important for me after my old school.”
Kurt frowned, “You were harassed at your old school?”
Blaine looked away and his face fell blank, like a shield, as he nodded, then he looked back at Kurt and smiled, “They weren’t very… understanding when I came out and I had to transfer. But at Dalton I get to sing, and perform, and I love it. Being a Warbler has been the best experience of my life.”
Kurt smiled at him. It was weird to be sharing stories of acceptance. It was more like being at a gay confessional than on a date, but it was relaxing. The tension that had been knotting up in his shoulders earlier seemed to be working itself out. For the first time since he’d accepted himself, he was being shown proof that he wasn’t alone in the trials that acceptance had put him through. It felt amazing.
Blaine sucked in his lower lip and looked at Kurt’s soft hands wrapped around the paper coffee cup. He knew he wasn’t good at flirting. The conversation they’d been having was a lot more depressing than sexy and he felt responsible. There was no way Kurt would believe this was a date at this rate. Even so… He felt really comfortable with Kurt. He liked sitting there across from him, and although he thought it was inappropriate this early in their acquaintance, he felt like he could share his life story with this boy. He wondered whether or not it meant more to him to have Kurt as his boyfriend, or to have a best friend who he felt relaxed like this around. He’d never done this before, he didn’t want to screw it up by rushing into a relationship neither one of them might be prepared for, but a little voice that sounded like a nagging Warbler in his brain kept telling him to go for it.
“Also, being a Warbler gave me the opportunity to hear you sing,” he tried and watched Kurt blush and then overcome it with a streak of cockiness Blaine hadn’t seen yet.
“Yes, well, that was definitely the highlight of the whole evening.” For a half second, Blaine thought he might be serious and he raised his eyebrows. Kurt was nodding sagely to himself, but after a second he shook his head and laughed. “No, no, I’m joking,” he assured Blaine, “You were much better. You killed it.”
“What? Singing Katy Perry?” Blaine smiled. He breathed a sigh of relief, “No, I’m pretty sure Stevie Nicks tops Katy Perry every time.”
“Depending on who sings who,” Kurt pointed out wryly. His eyes were an intensely green blue and flicked between Blaine’s eyes, observing each twice before dropping back down to the table. Blaine’s eyes flicked toward Kurt’s lips.
“Well, you won. I’ve never heard a voice like yours before. It was outstanding. I’m sure I wasn’t the only person in the crowd who was taken with you.”
That was definitely flirting. Play it cool. Blaine told himself, horrified that he’d let himself say that. He sipped his drink in an attempt to appear casual, but he was blushing.
Kurt was blushing too and sucking in his lower lip. “Taken with you” was running over and over again like a mantra in his head. He glanced over at the girls and noticed they’d moved a few tables closer and that Santana was now absent and replaced with Mike Chang who was just putting on his sunglasses. If he weren’t frustrated with them being there he’d have been relieved at the distraction. When Rachel turned around to look he shot her a deathglare that he hoped looked a lot like “Blaine is flirting with me! He’s so attractive! What do I do?” He felt the pocket of his bag vibrate and then vibrate again. He wanted to know what it said, but he wasn’t about to ruin his date by rudely checking his phone.
Kurt tried to focus. “If only they’d let me dress like her,” he said, referring to Stevie Nicks.
“I thought you looked fabulous. Clean, black, chic…”
“Still, it would have been fun—“
“To wear the flowing skirts?”
“Yes! All those layers? I got vetoed. Some thought it would be too much self-expression for one concert.”
Blaine sat up straighter, but didn’t seem more tense. “I’m not one to talk, since I wear a uniform, but I personally don’t believe there’s such a thing as too much expression. Not when you know how to wear it.”
“Which I do,” Kurt teased.
“Which you do,” Blaine agreed. Kurt practically glowed.
Their conversation carried on easily from there. Their interests were surprisingly similar. Blaine was unnaturally charming and polite and Kurt was honest and sharp. By the time the shop started getting ready to close and Blaine thought to look at his phone and realized it was past time for him to be going and for Kurt to make it home in time for dinner, Tina and Mike were long gone and Rachel was doing her homework while she waited to ambush Kurt on his way out. Happily for Kurt, she never got the chance because Blaine offered to walk Kurt to his car. They agreed to meet again at the same time the following week, and said a heartfelt goodbye without touching once. Blaine didn’t know whether to go in for a hug or a kiss, and Kurt just clutched at the shoulder strap of his bag until too much time had passed and it seemed best to just part ways with the promise of texting later.
That night Kurt sat beside his phone and stared at it while trying to finish his homework. He was listening to “Teenage Dream” on repeat and finally he decided to text Blaine.
In his inbox were 29 messages, mostly from Rachel, but they were all variations of warnings and questions and he was continuing to ignore her. He texted, I had fun. Can’t wait to see you next week.
Blaine texted back almost immediately and it made Kurt’s heart dance. If you don’t mind stopping for shoes at the mall you could see me tomorrow. :)
Kurt hugged the phone to his chest and let out a squeal. This was something, right? This was definitely something.