Nov. 23, 2012, 7:27 p.m.
Breakeven: Chapter 1
T - Words: 3,173 - Last Updated: Nov 23, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 5/? - Created: Jul 10, 2012 - Updated: Nov 23, 2012 683 0 1 0 0
It was Kurt's first day at Dalton. He was nervous, but mostly sad. Already the differences were making it painfully clear how much he missed his friends from McKinley. He missed walking into the same school, knowing where his locker was, where his classes would be, where his friends would be after each period so he could stop and chat with them or know where he'd be meeting them for lunch and that he wouldn't be eating alone. He'd had to leave so suddenly that he hadn't even worked up the courage to send Mercedes an "I'm sorry" or "I miss you" message, and he really wished he could be talking with her right now.
He showed up for admission bright and early, discussed his class schedule and was given a map of the school-the great big school that might as well have been Hogwarts for all the levels and passages and courtyards and rooms. He felt slightly ill as he walked out of the main office.
To top it all off he hadn't anticipated what a drag the uniform would be. It felt awful to not be able to pick out his own outfit for his first day at a new school. He felt like a speck of dust on the floor. He just looked like everybody else, and that just felt so wrong. To top it off, no amount of modifying seemed to be able to fix the way the uniform fit his figure. He looked boxy-masculine without being sexy. It was a letdown after the same combination had looked so stunning on-
And there he was. Blaine rounded the corner at that exact moment and grinned at him. Kurt's stomach flip-flopped and he felt himself swoon slightly. God, that man looked good in that blazer, with that body, carrying books in his lithe arms, smiling his gorgeous, gorgeous smile. Kurt smiled back and waved.
"Kurt! I'm so glad I didn't miss you," Blaine clapped him on the shoulder with his free hand and shifted the books under his arm so he could pull at the corner of the map Kurt was holding. "I'm so glad they gave you a map. I was just going to offer to show you to your classes, but this is going to help a lot..."
"Please still show me," Kurt quickly begged.
Blaine grinned and linked arms with him. "Absolutely! I'm glad you're here, Kurt. I mean, I'm not glad about why, but... it's good to see you. Also you look great in the blazer."
Kurt could actively feel his knees give and willed them back to working order. He tried not to lean into Blaine as they walked down the first hallway and Blaine started a rant like he was giving a formal tour.
Kurt sighed. A few lunches here or there over the past few weeks hadn't been nearly enough. Just the sound of Blaine's voice made Kurt's heart skip and the enormous presence he carried seemed to reach through Kurt's skin even from across a room. It was amazing being with Blaine, it almost made the cumulation of everything else suck a bit less.
Blaine soon let go of Kurt's arm and he tried not to be disappointed. They had until classes started and then the rest of the year to bump into each other in the hallway, eat lunch outside under one of the big, sweeping, rich-school trees while sitting on a picnic blanket, flirt lovingly, kiss under the moonlight... He stumbled slightly and took a deep breath.
Blaine's tour was roundabout and both began and ended with Kurt's first classroom. Blaine introduced him to his first teacher and helped find him a seat. Just a few minutes before the bell rang, Kurt waved to Blaine as he walked out the door.
After the class, Kurt didn't even have to see Blaine to know he was waiting outside the classroom door. He gathered his things and beamed at the boy leaning against the wall across the hall, chatting with a small group of other men in blazers.
Blaine excused himself from the conversation as soon as he saw Kurt and walked over to him. "How was your first class?"
"Challenging, but I'll get used to it," Kurt smiled. He didn't know what it was about Blaine, it was like just being in his vicinity made him lightheaded and a bit giggly. He wished so badly that he could have designed his own outfit-something to impress Blaine. Something more chic that showed off his figure...
"That's the spirit," Blaine said with a wink. "Well, I know we already took the full tour, but I didn't want you to get stressed out on your first day, so I'll walk you to your next class."
Kurt barely breathed, "Okay," and they were off down the hall. Blaine double checked his schedule and warned Kurt about the nuances of the teacher for his next class and Kurt tried his best to listen and to not wonder what Blaine wore that smelled so good, and what he put in his hair and if maybe Kurt could come up with an excuse to touch it or maybe to just lightly squeeze his bicep.
"Wait for me at the bottom of the main staircase after this period. Okay? That's just down the hall and to the left there. Then I'll show you the lunch room and you can meet the rest of the Warblers."
Kurt smiled and agreed. Blaine sucked in his lips, grinned, and then backed away the first few steps, wishing Kurt luck. It was starting to seem like Dalton might not be so bad.
Second hour was about the same as first hour-more challenging than expected, but a great distraction. For the first time in high school, Kurt felt like he was learning in class rather than teaching himself from the book.
After the class he made his way to the place Blaine had indicated and stood there, just out of the way of the crowd descending the stairs, wondering what direction Blaine would be coming from.
It didn't take more than a few minutes for him to look up and recognize a friendly face.
"Kurt?"
"David?"
David stepped out of the flow of traffic and reshouldered his bag, giving Kurt a friendly pat on the shoulder that was starting to seem like some form of Dalton initiation rite. "Hey, it's good to see you. It's your first day, isn't it?"
"Yeah, Blaine's been helping me find classes."
"Good; this school's huge. Are you meeting him for lunch?"
"Yes. He told me to wait for him here and we'd walk together."
David raised his eyebrows and looked skeptically down the hall. "Wow, he must be out of it. Blaine should know it's out of his way to meet you over here. Come on," he inclined his head, "I'll take you to the cafeteria, get you fed and introduce you to the guys. He'll catch up with us there."
Kurt thanked him softly, glancing once more at the stairs like they would magically contain Blaine this time.
As they started walking David continued, "You're from Lima, right?"
"Yes."
"Have you moved into the dorms or are you--?"
"All my stuff's in my car. I'm moving in this afternoon."
"Great! We'll all help you after your Warbler audition. You'll be fine, by the way. The audition is more of a formality since you already have a glowing recommendation. You are joining, right?"
"Of course!"
"Good. Blaine seemed sure, but as has been demonstrated, he has moments when he needs someone to double check for him."
Kurt smiled. David was more than helpful about the food choices in the cafeteria-which were considerably better than McKinley's-and cordial about introducing him to every single member of the Warblers. He showed off his own leadership skill by mentioning each member's vocal range and something specific about them along with their names, but it didn't help to stick most of them in Kurt's mind. The men at Dalton still looked like a sea of blue jackets and red piping. Kurt's head was spinning and his food was still mostly untouched by the time Blaine stumbled in fifteen minutes later.
He hurried straight over to Kurt and put a hand on his shoulder. He was breathing hard. "I am so sorry, Kurt! I messed it all up. I forgot it was Tuesday."
Wes, the only other member who Kurt now had a firm grasp on the name of, asked, "How were you getting Kurt to the right classes if you forgot it was Tuesday?"
Kurt had to cover his smile at the hurt look on Blaine's face. He turned red and ducked his head, letting go of Kurt's shoulder and moving a chair for himself beside Kurt. "I was just focused on other things."
One of the brunette boys nodded sagely and gave Kurt a smile, "You gotta watch out for that block schedule, it's a bitch."
"It wasn't that," Blaine explained, sighing. "It was Morgan..."
There was a collective, "Oh," that made the hair on the back of Kurt's neck prickle. Was that the name of another guy? Was Blaine spoken for? "Please don't let him be seeing someone," Kurt thought.
Everything fell into a friendly conversation after that. The Warblers took a keen interest in Kurt and how public school life differed from prep. Blaine eventually went to get his lunch and fell silent while he ate with the most precise manners Kurt had ever seen. He tried not to stare as Blaine delicately cut each bite into a minute piece, stabbed it firmly, and brought it to his lips. When Blaine noticed him watching, he looked away quickly. This was the first crush he'd ever had where there was any chance at all that it could be something more than that, and it felt absolutely stunning.
When lunch hour ended, Blaine walked Kurt to his third class of the day, wished him well, and apologized, but said he wouldn't be able to meet and walk him to his last class. After confirming that Kurt knew where it was, he gave a smile and darted away, leaving Kurt outside yet another lavish classroom.
He had two minutes before class started, so he lingered in the hall, trying to psych himself out for the end of the day. He was just about to turn and go in when he saw Blaine had come back around the corner. Kurt frowned. That was odd.
He didn't seem to notice Kurt was still in the hallway. He continued walking casually until he was within a few feet, then he looked up to see Kurt staring at him and raised his eyebrows.
Kurt was trying to come up with something to say that was more clever than just, "Did you forget something?" when Blaine changed his step, speeding up and turning straight toward him.
What happened next didn't even register until Blaine's lips left his and their hips lost contact. One of the boys entering the classroom across the hall glanced over and rolled his eyes good-naturedly. Blaine's fingertips brushed against Kurt's cheeks as his hands slipped away, and then he carried on down the hall without a word.
Kurt's lips fell parted and his brain failed to catch up with the sudden tingling in his body. He was caught somewhere between, "Holy shit what just happened?!" and "Hmm. I guess a kiss really can feel nice," but mostly the former. "Did Blaine just--?"
It was incredibly hard to take notes during third and forth hour. Confusion, elation, and self pity were distracting him and carrying him off into daydreams. For the first time in his life, he'd been kissed by someone he was actually attracted to, and it was under the most random, bizarre circumstances. It was nothing like he'd imagined it would be. It wasn't exactly lingering or powerful or dizzying in a "you take my breath away" sort of way like he'd hoped for. Instead it was a "I was not prepared for this what did you just do?!" rollercoaster he was currently going through. He wondered if he should be disappointed but was just too confused.
He didn't exactly know Blaine well, but with everything he did know, that had been so unlike him. He'd been weird, barely acknowledging Kurt and then suddenly...
Yes. He'd been off. He'd definitely been off and acting weird.
The whole thing had been weird.
It had been prearranged that once school ended, Kurt would walk with two Warbler members that were in his forth hour down to the common room where meetings were held. It was nice to have the extra time to worry about how he was going to eventually confront Blaine.
He was a little bit glad that he'd given off the impression that he wanted to be kissed by Blaine, but he hadn't thought he was giving off any implication that he was up for that exactly. What happened to the chivalrous romantic? Shouldn't they at least sing together first?
It was lucky he was auditioning for the Warblers and not taking a math test, because no amount of awkward behavior or distraction could ruin him when it came to performing. Even so, he avoided eye-contact with Blaine and ignored that rush he felt again as he walked into the room-the rush that was Blaine's encompassing presence and made his heart pitter.
And now that boy had kissed him.
The audition really did go well. He was welcomed into the Warblers after very little discussion. Although he was instantly abuzz with ideas and enthusiasm upon acceptance, his head was spinning, so he sat down on a plush couch across the room from Blaine and tried to appear like he was listening while the Warblers discussed their plans for the upcoming Sectionals performance and rehearsal times. He tried to ignore the way he could feel Blaine's big brown eyes turn toward him occasionally and the wrinkle of warm chills it sent up his spine.
After the meeting, David held good to his word and every member crowded around Kurt's car to help him unload and carry his things.
"Wow, you've got a lot of stuff," Blaine said, grinning at him as he hoisted a large suitcase off the back seat.
Kurt nodded politely but felt himself go bright red from the intensity of that smile. He immediately fell to giving instructions to the rest of the boys and directing the group to his room.
The room Kurt would inhabit was on the second floor of one of the two dormitory buildings on campus. He had lucked out by getting an adjoining ensuite single that connected to an empty room. It had been explained to him that the dorms weren't actually all that popular among the prep-school boys, so he'd had more than his pick. Other than an overall lack of space, he really did have it about as good as he'd had it at home.
With everyone's help, the move only took one trip, then they left Kurt to unpack. Before they went, they left him a sheet of scrawled phone and dorm numbers from those members who lived on campus and other useful information such as where to go in case of injury or who to call about disturbances. If he needed anything he'd certainly not be at a loss for help, which was comforting.
To his relief, Blaine actually offered to hang back and help him unpack. As soon as everyone else had filed out and he could feasibly close the door, he did, and turned so his back was against it.
Blaine seemed completely unphased by Kurt's tense posture. He was running the edge of a knife through the packing tape and opening a box that held Kurt's bed sheets, humming slightly to himself. He pulled out the stack and then separated two different sets. "Which one are we putting on?" he asked, smiling.
Kurt sucked in his lips. "We need to talk."
Blaine perked up, "Oh yeah! How did your first day go? I guess you found forth hour alright..."
"No... I mean," Kurt's face was warm and his hands were sweating. "We need to talk about what happened before that... right after lunch."
Blaine stared blankly for a while as though trying to piece together something and coming up blank. "What happened?"
Kurt could just about have almost smacked him. Blaine was cute-undeniably cute-but playing dumb was not. He crossed his arms. He was really going to have to spell it out? He took a steadying breath while Blaine remained waiting with a big clueless look on his face. "You kissed me."
Blaine leaned forward like he hadn't caught what Kurt had just said, then he frowned and his eyes went wide. "I-" He stood up from where he'd been kneeling on the floor and raised both hands like he was surrendering. "Oh god, Kurt! I didn't. I never would have. I mean I'm not...not that I wouldn't- I just... No. No, I didn't."
Kurt gaped. Well that just stung. That stung deep. He blinked hard and took another breath, but couldn't more than squeak, "Yes you did."
"No! Kurt, I didn't k...kiss you. I didn't. I know what happened with...with...and I..." All of a sudden his face fell neutral and his arms dropped to his sides. "I kissed you?"
Kurt scoffed and had to react fast to keep a tear from slipping past the rise of his cheek. "Yes!"
Blaine stepped forward, his eyebrows raised in concern. He lifted a hand to cup Kurt's cheek, but it just lingered in the air and then dropped again. He gently touched Kurt's elbows, and as nice as the closeness felt, Kurt flinched away.
So basically it came down to this then, did it? Kissing sucked, even when it was with someone who had seemed as amazing as Blaine, it just sucked. He wished he didn't have unpacking to do. He wanted to collapse onto a bed that was already made. He wanted to be home. He wanted to be within a few minutes drive of his best friends. "You should go," Kurt whispered.
Blaine grasped Kurt's elbows more steadily this time, "No, please, Kurt, listen. I know what happened-"
"Please go..."
"I'm so sorry. I should have mentioned, I should have said something, I just wasn't thinking..."
"It's fine, just go," Kurt's voice hitched again. Everything sucked. He should have just stayed home and gone to his old school and dealt with Karofsky. At least there he wouldn't be embarrassed standing in lumpy clothes being called a liar by someone he'd been falling head over heels for.
Blaine reached up and touched Kurt's cheek now, turning his face to meet his. He was so close and he was so warm and still smashing Kurt's heart to sharp, tiny fragments. Kurt was steeling himself to push this fantasy of a perfect man away, but Blaine was looking even more insistent now.
"Kurt, it's not like that. Listen-"
Kurt's eyes snapped to meet his and almost faltered, caught in how beautiful they were, but he gritted his teeth and prepared to shove Blaine away when he was cut off.
"I have a twin!"
Comments
Wow... this is very interesting! can't wait for an update! May the keyboard be with you!