April 27, 2012, 11:20 a.m.
Here We Go Again Infatuation: Determinism
E - Words: 2,178 - Last Updated: Apr 27, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 8/? - Created: Nov 16, 2011 - Updated: Apr 27, 2012 747 0 8 0 0
Time was fleeting, but Kurt couldn’t help but feel annoyed. Even though him and Blaine desired to kiss that like sometimes, especially when Blaine gave him that promise ring for Christmas, they never could; because they were gay. Currently, on the other hand they were all waiting for the curtain to pull away for another Glee Club performance in front of the entire school. The last one before graduation. So they could really take their making out to another place at a later time.
As these thoughts crossed Kurt’s mind, he felt a pair of eyes on him. Kurt turned and saw Blaine smile sadly at him, his eyes wide and full of understanding. It made Kurt’s heart clench. Blaine knew that Kurt was leaving for New York within a month, and it would stand the testament of their relationship. Could they make it?
Kurt felt emotion block his throat and his eyes sting as he attempted to smile back at his lead man. Since Blaine was in the front, he was going to take charge of the show this afternoon and display his worthiness as a talent at this school. Kurt only hoped he continued to shine once he left.
Principal Figgin’s voice droned on for a few more lasting seconds before the curtain pulled forward, revealing a scattered Glee club in formation, ready to sing a song about passing youth and impending responsibilities. There was an eery calm over the gym, especially from the seniors, knowing that this was it. They would have to face real life make adult decisions once they left their ‘safe haven.’
They sang their song beautifully, and Blaine belted out the last note for longer than anyone expected, making Rachel cry and Kurt really want to. As the gym erupted into cheers, clambering to their feet and hollering with enthusiasm, Blaine turned with glassy eyes, reaching a hand out to Kurt, who took it instantly.
Kurt smiled, tears leaking down his cheeks when unexpectedly, Blaine pulled Kurt into the circle of his arms and brought their lips together in a desperate kiss. Kurt froze for half a second before he gave in, responding to each slide, pressure and lick. They kissed each other with all they had, and just like Kurt felt, Blaine knew this was it.
The gym went quiet and started whispering frantically, but as Kurt pulled Blaine closer, kissing more needily, Kurt got lost in the moment and everybody else in the world disappeared. It was the most romantic gesture anyone could have done for him, it was like a dream. He was kissing his boyfriend freely in front of everyone, finally, and it was their last chance. Kurt was so glad Blaine took it.
When they finally pulled away, it was like slow-motion seeing the love, admiration and acceptance in Blaine’s eyes as they both cried happily, face scrunching up with suppressed joyful laughter. They were so brave.
What Kurt didn’t anticipate was for the Glee club to lift them both up onto their shoulders, and the students roared with deafening cheers once more. They were accepted, and Kurt couldn’t have thought of anything better to end his reign at McKinley High with his one and only.
Kurt always remembered that moment as the day he realized for sure that Blaine Anderson was the man he was going to marry someday no matter what obstacles faced them. They would stand the test of time, because a love like theirs was forever.
Kurt woke suddenly to an urgent voice, speaking quickly and slightly in a panic. It took a few moments for Kurt to ground himself, realizing where he was and what had happened before he fell asleep to know it was Blaine talking.
“Yes-”
There was soft murmuring coming from the cellphone Blaine had clutched to his ear, as Kurt rolled over to see Blaine sprawled across his mattress on his stomach, his ass right in Kurt’s face. Kurt couldn’t help but smile before having his good mood slashed.
“I know, I’m really sorry that I forgot. We just got some food and got caught up in conversation,” Blaine explained, a strange edge to his voice as there was more murmuring from his reciever. A long pause. “Okay, okay. Next time I hang with Kurt it won’t be for hours. So where am I meeting you?”
Blaine jumped with a start as Kurt pet his back leisurely and glared over his shoulder, making a hushing motion with his finger and lips. “Alright, I’ll see you in a few. Don’t get started without me.”
Blaine hung up, and groaned, dropping his head in his arms. “Fuck, Kurt. James is pissed at me.”
“Why did you tell him I just fucked you?” Kurt joked, gliding his palm up the rounded slope of Blaine’s ass.
“No,” Blaine grumbled, squirming a little. “But I forgot that we were supposed to go look at rings today. He’s been waiting outside the jewelry store for half an hour.. I’m such a dunce.”
Kurt’s heart sunk. Rings. Wedding rings. “Oh, well you better go then,” Kurt said half-heartedly. He really couldn’t believe Blaine was going to still marry the guy after what had happened. Kurt understood that dumping James all of the sudden would be a difficult feat, but it would be the right thing for Blaine to do, ideally. But nothing was never that easy.
Kurt had a brief flash of his memory-dream as Blaine stood up to grab his clothes. It made him suddenly feel the overwhelming urge to start crying and groveling for Blaine to marry him instead. To leave James right now. But that was selfish.
After Blaine buttoned his shorts he slammed his fist against his forehead. “God, Kurt I have no idea what I’m going to do.”
“What do you mean,” Kurt asked quietly, pissed that his treacherous voice was shaky. But it seemed like Blaine paid no mind.
Blaine’s arm flailed to Kurt as a gesture of what had just happened. “I’m a cheating asshole, and James doesn’t deserve that. And you just slept with your ex boyfriend, when you deserve so much better.”
Kurt swallowed. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Blaine.”
“I don’t know!” Blaine threw his arms up in the air exasperatedly. “You always seem to know what the right thing to do is.”
Kurt contemplated for a few moments. “Can I be honest with you?”
Blaine pulled his shirt back and and crouched next to Kurt’s bed, eyes shining with worry. “Of course.”
“Blaine,” Kurt began, exhaling loudly. “I still love you.”
Blaine’s lips pulled together as tears collected at the corner of his eyes, hanging on his thick black lashes. “I still love you too, Kurt.”
Blaine reached forward and caressed Kurt’s cheek, who leaned into it closing his eyes and sighing happily. It was so wonderful to hear that, but Kurt couldn’t help but feel like their love wouldn’t be enough this time.
“But,” Blaine said after a long while, and Kurt nodded solemnly. “I.. just. I can’t do this. I have to go.”
Just as Kurt opened his eyes, he saw Blaine’s retreating figure down the stairs. Kurt pulled his blankets closer to him, his heart aching awfully. He was pretty sure that he couldn’t move the rest of the day, and was thankful Rachel wasn’t there to witness him cry even more.
Kurt wasn’t sure how long it had been when Rachel stumbled up the stairs into the bedroom, clutching her head and frowning. “Ugh, hey Kurt.”
“Hi,” Kurt peeped, still curled in the fetal position, but thankfully his eyes were dry now. Even though he had been wallowing in self-doubt and sorrow most of the afternoon, he was thankful for some company again.
“I feel terrible,” Rachel complained. “Laura forced me out to breakfast to eat some food that would ‘soak up the alcohol’, but I’m pretty sure my hangover is worse now.”
Kurt made a discontented noise as Rachel plopped on her bed and groaned loudly, squeezing her eyes shut and turning to face Kurt. “So how was your day?”
Kurt managed a minute shrug, and Rachel eyed him suspiciously. “Are you naked?”
Kurt smiled sheepishly. It wasn’t like Rachel hadn’t seen him naked before, they were roommates after all, but the idea of telling her why he was naked was mortifying. He really didn’t want a lecture about sleeping with your ex’s.
She spoke from experience whenever she said, ‘it’s never the same as it was in high school and it’s naive to hope for anything more.’ Yeah. Kurt would rather be spared one more day. He realized what he did wrong.
Her face scrunched up as she peered blearily around the room. “Why does it smell like sex in here?”
Kurt sighed heavily, and didn’t answer but Rachel gasped after a few moments, her face stretched in a huge grin. “Oh my god, Austin is here isn’t he? You finally invited him to Long Island! Is he your boyfriend yet? Because I’m sure he doesn’t appreciate being treated like the corner whore.”
“What?!” Kurt exclaimed, not expecting this at all. “What are you talking about?”
Rachel sat up and squinted at their closet which was ajar. “He’s hiding isn’t he? I bet Uncle Dave came up the stairs and was about to catch you two in the act, but you still want him to think you’re an innocent virgin.”
Kurt rolled his eyes and stuffed his head under the pillow, sighing again. If only what Rachel was saying was true, he wouldn’t be feeling this shitty right now.
“Wait,” Rachel halted her excitement in a conspiracy to really look at Kurt. “You’re normally a lot more chipper after getting laid. Is everything okay?”
Kurt was silent for a minute or so, deliberating whether or not he should tell her. He finally decided he should because there was really nobody else he could talk to, and she was his best friend after all. “I didn’t sleep with Austin.”
“What?” Rachel asked, not understanding Kurt’s muffed words through his pillow, so he sat up completely, holding the blankets to him as to not flash her unexpectedly. He looked pointedly at the ground. “The person I slept with wasn’t Austin.”
“Then who? I thought you already slept with everyone here and you weren’t interested.”
Kurt made eye contact with her guiltily, but she didn’t seem to get it. So, he pinched the bridge of his nose and let out in a huff, “It was Blaine.”
Her mouth fell open and eyes bugged, “Are you serious?”
Kurt nodded, preparing for her to scold him, yell at him even. But what she did completely caught him off guard.
“Oh my god, Kurt! That’s so great!” She exclaimed, tackling him in a rough hug. “I could tell there was still something between you two last night! This is so romantic!”
He pushed her off him gently. “But he has a boyfriend.”
“Who cares,” she scoffed. “You two have history. That guy is a nobody!”
“He’s not,” Kurt protested, feeling the tears coming on again, but he kept them at bay as long as he could. “Blaine’s planning on marrying him. They went ring shopping today.”
She grabbed Kurt’s face and gave him a determined stare. “Kurt, listen. You need to fight for him. Do whatever it takes to get him back.”
“But what if he doesn’t want me anymore,” Kurt whined, tears now falling freely down his pale cheeks, but Rachel brushed them away.
“He does,” she insisted, her voice hard.
“How do you know?” Kurt questioned, sounding doubtful and depressed.
“I just do,” she states confidently. “Even since high school I knew you guys were forever. Even when you guys broke up a few years ago, I knew you guys would find each other again, it was only a matter of time.”
“Really?”
She nodded, her eyes shining brightly. “Kurt, if there was ever a couple that was meant for each other, it was you two. I always wished Finn and I had that.”
Kurt smiled, his heart warming. Rachel was right. He needed to fight for him. “Thank you, Rachel.”
“Anytime,” she whispered, kissing him lightly on the cheek before she released him so he could stand and get dressed. “Go get him, tiger,” she teased, smacking his bare ass as the blanket fell loosely around him. He jumped, and grinned at her, grabbing clothes and headed to the bathroom.
Kurt looked himself in the mirror for a few moments contemplating how to make Blaine see the light. Then just like that, a lightbulb went off in Kurt’s head. He knew Blaine’s weakness: jealousy.
Kurt pulled out his phone and dialed the number with shaking fingers and put it to his head, hearing it ring a few times before the prompted, “Hello?”
“Hey, Austin. I was thinking, and I want to take you up on that date offer if that still stands.”
Comments
Finally! I have been waiting for an update! Things are just going to get even messier from here. They still love eachother though. :)
Haha you're probably right! :D thanks so much for the feedback, dear :)
goddddd me too! it'll be updated very soon!
ahhhh please update soon i'm dying to read the next chapter! i love jealous blaine.
I just read this story and I am in love with it! They need to get married, stat :)
I agree! ;)
GOODNESS. This story is glorious! So sad, but sexy! My heart went out to Kurt and Blaine, it's terrible that they grew apart.. But they're so good together! Yay for Rachel being supportive! I hope you update this again, I know it's been a while, but I love it!
I actually started the next chapter! prepare for some good ol' jealous!blaine :)