April 27, 2012, 11:20 a.m.
Here We Go Again Infatuation: Lost Time
E - Words: 2,159 - Last Updated: Apr 27, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 8/? - Created: Nov 16, 2011 - Updated: Apr 27, 2012 1,007 0 6 0 0
This Blaine was carefree, disheveled, his hair wild and free from gel, and never in a million years would Kurt even imagine a world where Blaine was so underdressed, and sported multiple tattoos none the less.
The second emotion was guilt. Even as different as Blaine appeared, Kurt hadn't recognized him at first, and that was deplorable. This was his first love. The boy he lost his virginity to and experienced so many wonderful firsts with. There was a time where Kurt was sure he was going to marry this boy and spend the rest of his life with him. So most of all, there was the guilt that they had lost touch when they used to mean the world to each other. The guilt that Kurt had left him in Ohio all alone resounded with a cruel force in Kurt's heart.
The last emotion that was most definable was pain. Pain of a lost longing of not being able to stay close to somebody that once was everything to him, and was now just a polite acquaintance. The pain of knowing how much they grew apart and how Blaine experienced life without him. Pain of so many unspoken desires, unanswered questions and words they could have shared. Pain that was showing in Blaine's companion's eyes; a territorial glance that hinted very obvious to Kurt that this guy was much more than just a friend.
"K-kurt? Are you okay?" Blaine's voice drifted into Kurt's haze of epiphanies. Kurt didn't even realize he was holding his breath until he let it out harshly. His lungs were screaming with relief, and Kurt didn't even notice until that moment that there were tears stinging his eyes.
"Oh my god," Kurt finally said, mimicking Blaine's earlier words. "I'm so sorry, Blaine, I can't believe I didn't realize it was you."
Blaine smiled warmly, squeezing Kurt's forearm comfortingly. "It's okay, I forgive you. I must say, I'm a lot different looking than I used to be. The only reason I recognized you because you're just as fabulous as ever."
They laughed easily together, but Kurt was starting to feel uncomfortable with all the stares of the surrounding group.
"So, who is this," Kurt asked in a false cheery voice.
Blaine looked like he had cold water thrown in his face. "Oh. OH! Kurt this is James, my uh, my b-boyfriend."
James was tall and very built. He was heartbreakingly handsome, but his eyes lacked depth behind his large, black-framed glasses. He shook Kurt's hand stoically. Kurt smiled sheepishly.
"Nice to meet you, Kurt," he said in a voice that was a lot higher pitched than Kurt expected.
"Rachel!" Blaine exclaimed suddenly. "So nice to see you again!" They hugged awkwardly because Rachel was still dumbfounded seeing someone here in this small town on Long Island that they went to high school with in a separate small town back in Ohio so many years ago. It really was a small world sometimes. There was a long awkward silence, and most of the crowd decided to go back to doing their own thing.
"I.. I don't know what to say," Kurt admitted finally, seeing Blaine's penetrating gaze upon him. "I just can't believe it, that you're here. What brings you here anyway of all places?"
Blaine put a hand on James' broad chest, caressing lovingly. Kurt's heart twitched uncomfortably in his chest at the sight. "James and I have been traveling around the country. We ended up here because we heard the Hamptons were a must see. Plus we were hoping to run into a few celebrities." Blaine grinned.
Kurt returned it, feeling cheeky. "I dunno, I've only run into Alec Baldwin a few times at the grocery store and that's it. Oh and Puff Daddy threw a party a couple years ago that was so out of control that the cops were called."
Blaine playfully shoved Kurt's shoulder. "Wow, Kurt you've been living the high life haven't you?"
Kurt found himself blushing and he didn't know why. So, to distract himself, he killed his drink, slamming it onto the counter and smacking his lips.
"I guess so," Kurt agreed, and Rachel smiled encouragingly at him. "So what have you been doing since high school? God, we haven't talked in years. Wow."
A flash of sadness crossed Blaine's features before he smiled slightly. "Well, my life... it's a lot different than the original plan you were vaguely aware of."
Kurt raised a perfectly groomed brow, curious. "Oh?"
Blaine sipped his beer, looking deep in thought. "Yeah, when we broke up, I transferred back to Dalton."
Kurt felt a fresh wave of guilt hit him with tremendous force. He decided to voice his feelings. "I'm really sorry for leaving you all alone at McKinley, that wasn't fair of me."
"No," Blaine lifted a hand to make him stop while was ahead. "I wasn't going to stop you from chasing your dream, you made the right decision. But you're right about one thing; McKinley wasn't the same without you, so I went back to Dalton to graduate."
Kurt nodded, painfully aware how awkward their catching up might be to Blaine's boyfriend James. Why did he have to have a boyfriend? Ugh. Kurt probably broke Blaine's heart into a million pieces, and that was a long time ago, so it was only natural that Blaine found someone else. Especially because of how special he is. Kurt's heart broke too, and he still wasn't ready to find love. I guess this was a testament to how stable Blaine is and how fucked up Kurt is.
"I really wanted to get out of Ohio, so I decided to move to the second best place besides New York. San Francisco."
Kurt's eyebrows shot up in surprise. He literally was living on the opposite side of the country this whole time, and Kurt didn't even have any idea.
"My dad was furious, wanted me to stay in Ohio and get some desk job somewhere, but I was like, fuck that! He didn't even accept me, so I wanted to go to a place where I knew I would be."
Kurt nodded sympathetically, knowing all too well how shitty and inattentive Blaine's father was at times. Kurt wished every father was like his own. Accepting and loving unconditionally. Blaine of all people deserved that.
"So," Blaine took a deep breath. "I went to an art school there, and I met James."
Kurt had to repress the urge to laugh, remembering what Blaine was like when he was a drunk adolescent, going on and on about 'wanting to make art and help people.' Kurt thought it was adorable, but it was also atrociously ironic that his drunken vision came to be a reality. Blaine had become a California hippie, and Kurt couldn't tell if this bothered him or amused him. Maybe it was both.
Blaine continued his tale, and Kurt was fascinated. "After graduating that art college, James and I decided we wanted to see the world, so we worked a lot, saved up some cash, and then hit the road. So long story short, here we are."
Kurt's face scrunched up, still trying not to laugh. Blaine understood his amusement, and wasn't offended in the slightest. However, James seemed very put off.
"I know what you're thinking, Kurt, and I'd love to hear it sometime, but I'm much more interested in what you've been up to!"
Kurt cleared his throat, and laughed a little, just to get it out of his system.
"Well," Kurt gestured Rachel. "As you know, we got accepted into NYADA. We tried living in an apartment in Manhattan, but it was just way too expensive, so Rachel's uncle offered for us to live here on the island. So even with the commute, we still save some money, and he we don't need full time jobs that could interfere with our course work." Kurt shrugged. "That's basically it."
Blaine smiled wide, and it was almost reminiscent of the way he used to look at Kurt. Like anything was possible, as long as they had each other and their love to hold onto. It made Kurt look away. "I mean the dream is still fresh, yet the same as it always has been."
"That's great to hear, Kurt," Blaine said, his voice brimming with emotion. He was moved, and Kurt didn't really understand why. "You chased your dream, and you're going to live it. I have so much faith in you. I always did."
Kurt's heart stuttered because there was so much intimacy laced in his voice, and Kurt kinda felt bad for James, but also kinda didn't. Kurt wasn't impressed by James at all, and it made him seriously question why Blaine was with him.
"You wanna go take this outside for a bit," Kurt asked shyly. "I doubt anybody is interested in our old shenanigans and catch up."
Blaine looked at James, who nodded. "Sure," Blaine sounded delighted, and it made Kurt feel euphoric for some alone time without everyone silently judging or staring.
They walked along the Harbor, the scent of salt, boat fuel and seaweed filled their nostrils, but Kurt found it oddly soothing. It smelled like home.
"You seem really happy," Blaine commented after a while. They just walked in comfortable silence, feeling the cool sand squish between their toes. It felt a lot like the time they used to spend together. Sometimes neither Kurt or Blaine had to say anything, they just already knew.
"I am," Kurt affirmed softly. "I feel like everything's falling into place."
Blaine chuckled. "You were always a fierce and determined worker."
"You were always such a game player, so likable," Kurt countered.
Blaine nudged Kurt with his hip. Such a playful and innocent gesture, but it warmed Kurt's heart.
"So," Blaine's voice went a little unsteady. "Are you seeing anyone?"
"No," Kurt answered a little too quickly. "I mean, not really. I see people, sort of. But I haven't really had a boyfriend since you."
"What?" Blaine asked incredulously. "No way."
"Way," Kurt said. "I'm really busy and have a lot of other stuff going on. And I just haven't been really interested in anything more than.. you know. Yeah."
Kurt felt stupid, stammering, but he really didn't feel like admitting to Blaine that he enjoyed sleeping around without any feelings attached. Blaine probably had a lot more class than that, and Kurt didn't want him quietly judging him.
"Yeah," Blaine agreed vaguely, seemingly lost in his thoughts once more. They both went silent, both listening to the sound of the waves crashing pleasantly on the shore. In the chill night, Kurt felt comforted being here, so content, especially because he had Blaine by his side too. Kurt didn't take long to ponder the implications.
"Blaine?" Kurt stopped walking, facing him.
Blaine looked up, his eyes sparkling in the night. "Yes?"
"It's really nice to see you," Kurt whispered. "I'm sorry for everything. I just want you to know that. I... I regret not staying contact with you. We were in love, and I just let it slip away."
Blaine silenced Kurt with a soft, but calloused finger on his lip. Kurt froze, his body tingling. "Shh, don't worry about all that stuff. It's in the past, and we're here now. That's all that matters."
They looked deeply into each other's eyes for a while, and suddenly Kurt was struck with the overwhelming desire, utter need to kiss Blaine in that moment. There was something in Blaine's eyes that Kurt could tell he wanted the same thing too. Kurt never wanted anything more in his life, but he couldn't do that. Blaine had a boyfriend.
Kurt took a deep shuddering breath, preparing himself to turn away, when Blaine grabbed Kurt's face, pulling him in close until their lips were almost touching. Blaine waited with bated breath for Kurt to close in the gap, which he intended to fully but-
"Blaine! Blaine? Where are you? I'm tired, I want to go back to the hotel." It was James, probably a mere 20 or so feet away, jogging blindly in the dark.
Kurt flinched and Blaine dropped his hands and took a step back.
"Oh there you are," James said once he caught sight of them. "You guys all done here?"
Kurt couldn't find his voice, so he merely nodded.
"Hold on," Blaine mumbled, digging through his pockets. He pulled out a small pen and crumpled up piece of paper. "Here, Kurt, this is my number. Give me a call tomorrow and maybe we can meet up for coffee or something."
Kurt took the paper without a word, but smiled as Blaine waved and walked away, hand in hand with James.
Once they were gone, Kurt sank onto the sand, crossing his legs and let tears roll down his cheeks. Kurt's life was perfect, but he didn't realize he was missing something until he ran into Blaine tonight, and knowing that now, he really wasn't sure what he was going to do anymore.
Comments
I just found this story and I really like it! Your writing is so detailed and you describe the characters so well (even if Blaine looks a little different now!) that I can see the whole story in my head! Thanks again for writing and I look forward to a new update. BTW, have you seen the picture of Darren in the new People Magazine? WOW!
Thank you so much! I like being very detailed, it's kind of one of my huge things when writing. I will write the next chapter very soon! This story came to me during class, and it buzzed around a bit in my head, so I have a lot more story to tell! And YES omg my brain is jelly from that photoshoot omg
Ohhh! I'm excited to see where this story will go. I'm glad to have found this story! (I have a thing for multiple partner fics, I guess.) I hope you update really soon! :D *I can tell from your username that you like the Inheritance Cycle-- I do to!
The Inheritance Cycle is AMAZING! hehe. I'm so glad you like the story! I love multiple partner fics too, because once Klaine actually get together it's a thousand times more exciting! And I will update soon!!! :)
This is a wonderful story. Your writing is so fun, while, at the same time, poignant! But, hahaha, I must tell you that it is unlikely any self-respecting artsy, SF hippie would feel drawn to the hamptons except, perhaps, to protest the opulent lifestyle. :D This does not deter me from joyfully continuing to read, though. Really I love it, love it, love it!
Blaine is a very interesting SF hippie! And trust me, anyone would want to visit the hamptons ;) i'm so happy you love it!!! <3