Kurt turned back to his laptop as soon as he heard a noise at the door. He had become consumed in thought and didn't want Blaine to see him just sitting there as he came into the room. He brought up his browser, clicked open Facebook, and pretended to be interested in the lives of the people on the screen. Blaine set his bags down and began to put his stuff away without saying a word or acknowledging that Kurt was even in the room. Kurt couldn't decide if the tension in the room was real or imagined. They hadn't seen each other in three weeks after they left to go home for Christmas break. Before that the two of them had been good friends so far. They would often go to campus events together and sometimes Kurt would even join Blaine and his friends when they went to the campus bars. Kurt always thought he got lucky in the roommate department because they got along so well, especially after he had heard so many horror stories.

Blaine paused what he was doing and finally broke the silence. "So, how was your break?"

Kurt's immediately became filled with nerves as he turned around quickly to answer, "It was alright. Just the usual, you know, with all the craziness of the holidays and family time."

Blaine looked down at his hands and nodded as he listened to Kurt only looking back up once the room went silent again. "Yea, yea.. I know how that goes. So, I think a group of guys and I are going to go out to Marty's tonight. Wanna come along?"

Kurt sat up a little but, but tried not to seem too surprised. "Yea, that sounds fine. I don't have anything else to do tonight anyway."

Blaine smiled and responded, "Awesome. I think we'll head out around 11 or so. We'll just walk over to the bar to meet the guys." Blaine went back to putting his clothes away and Kurt turned back to his computer as he tried to put together all the thoughts in his head.

Does he not remember? He has to remember. He did have a lot to drink... He was the one who initiated everything so maybe he's embarrassed or something. I am too, I guess. If he doesn't remember then we can just go on and pretend like it never happened. Things don't have to be awkward. What am I even doing? Blaine is straight and so- well I don't know what I am now. Shit. Does he really not remember?

*****

As the day turned to night everything seemed to be back to normal. They talked back and forth a little bit and went through their regular routines of getting ready for a night out. As much as he tried Kurt couldn't help noticing how attractive Blaine looked in his outfit. He made sure to be subtle and only take quick looks when Blaine had his back turned. This wasn't the first time Kurt found himself attracted to another man, but it was the first time he wanted desperately for something to happen- again. His love life had been pretty non-existent throughout high school as well as his first semester of college, but he was always okay with that. Nobody seemed to pique his interest anyway. Although, now he seemed to be interested in Blaine. It was strange and exciting, but Kurt didn't know what to do with these new feelings. He did know that a relationship with a straight boy only meant heartbreak.

As they walked the few blocks to their normal bar Kurt and Blaine made small talk about the details of their Christmas Break and their schedule for the upcoming spring semester. It wasn't long before they were showing their fake IDs at the door and heading to the back of the bar to be greeted by a group of guys playing pool and drinking beer. Kurt knew that Blaine's friends weren't the normal type that would associate with him. He didn't really think they were Blaine's type of friends either. They reminded him of Karofsky and the other jocks who used to bully him in high school, even though these guys were always nice to Kurt. There was no harm in meeting different people though, after all, that's what the college experience is all about.

"Blaine, I'm going to go get something to drink. Do you want anything?" Kurt felt like he was shouting at the top of his lungs as he tried to talk over the noise of the bar.

Blaine stopped in between greetings to shout back, "Oh yea, that would be great! Can you get me a beer? The next round will be on me." Kurt nodded his head and walked off to the bar.

When he got back Blaine was already engrossed in the game of pool and trying to show off his skills. Kurt handed him the beer and went to sit down off to the side so he was out of the way. He watched Blaine as he interacted with the people around him and was brought back to the night before they left for break.

Everybody had decided to go out to celebrate the completion of their first semester of college. It wasn't quite different than any other night before, but Blaine took the celebration a little too seriously. He drank more than he normally did, which was probably fueled by his recent break up. The relationship ended by mutual agreement and they were still on good terms, but it was obvious to Kurt that Blaine was still upset about it even if he wouldn't admit it.

The night ended with Kurt practically carrying Blaine back to their dorm room as he listened to Blaine mumble, "You're such a great friend. I don't know what I'd do without you. You're great. Just.. really.. amazing... Kurt." If Kurt hadn't been so concerned about getting back to the dorm without being caught by campus police, he probably would have taken more time to enjoy the moment and laugh at Blaine's drunken pronunciation.

Kurt got Blaine to his bed as soon as they got back to the room. He took off Blaine's shoes and grabbed a blanket to tuck him in, but as Kurt pulled the blanket up over Blaine's chest he reached up and pulled Kurt to his lips. Kurt was so taken aback it took him a second to even process what was going on. Once he realized he quickly pulled away, "Blaine! What are you doing?"

He didn't seem bothered as he reached for Kurt again. "What? I just wanted to kiss you. You have nice lips."

"Yea, okay", Kurt responded as he turned around to change into an old t shirt and a pair of sweatpants. "I'm going to sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"No, please. I don't want to be alone. Come lay next to me."

Kurt didn't answer, but Blaine was determined, "Please Kurt. I'm sad. Can I at least have a hug?"

Kurt was tempted to ignore him, but he couldn't. He finally gave in, grabbed his pillow, and laid next to Blaine as best he could in the small twin size bed. Blaine turned over to face him and Kurt put his arms around him. It didn't take long before Blaine closed the space between them with a kiss. This time Kurt didn't pull away. As their kisses grew in passion their hands began to wander over each others bodies and Blaine's clothes quickly came off. Kurt wanted Blaine and he could feel how much Blaine wanted him back. It took all the effort in his body to finally push him away. "Blaine. We can't. As much as I want to, I don't want to take advantage of you like this. You're drunk. It's not right."

Blaine wrapped his arms around him and placed a soft kiss on his mouth. Kurt was surprised that Blaine didn't fight back. "Ok. Please don't leave me though."

"I won't."

The next morning Kurt woke up to find himself alone in Blaine's bed, with no sign of Blaine anywhere. The memories of the night before flooded back and Kurt felt so much embarrassment and confusion. He grabbed his phone to check the time when he noticed a text message from Blaine.

Blaine Anderson (8:37am) - Sorry I got so drunk last night. Thanks for getting me home ok. I left to go home for break this morning. See you in three weeks. Have a good one.

****

Suddenly Kurt was jolted from his daydream by Blaine standing in front of him trying to find the perfect angle for his shot. He has to remember or at least wonder why he woke up naked in his bed with me lying next to him. That doesn't just happen.

After a couple games and several beers, Blaine decided to sit next to Kurt and let the rest of the guys continue playing. Kurt noticed that as Blaine drank more alcohol he became more touchy, which was something new. Blaine was definitely the "I love you guys" kind of drunk and was never shy of giving the other guys hugs, but Kurt was pretty sure Blaine had never been this friendly before, with the exception of that one night. Kurt let his mind wander to the possibility of more touching when they got back to their room, but quickly pushed the thoughts out with reminders of Blaine's sexuality. It didn't take long before the ultimate reminder of Blaine's sexuality- his ex-girlfriend - walked in.

Blaine immediately made eye contact with her and waved her over to join them. Kurt smiled at her as they exchanged familiarities and she sat down in Blaine's lap giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She had obviously been drinking and wasn't shy about showing Blaine affection. Kurt kept a smile on his face, but inside he felt a pit growing in his stomach and he became filled with jealousy. He knew he couldn't sit there and watch the two of them flirt for the rest of the night so he quickly excused himself. He tried to make his exit as cool and calm as possible, but when he heard Blaine knocking at the bathroom door he realized that he had been unsuccessful.

"Kurt? Are you in there? Are you okay?" His voice sounded rushed and concerned.

"Yea.. I'm fine. Just, you know, the beer and everything. I should just go back to the room. I don't want to ruin your night." Kurt tried to keep his composure the best he could.

Seconds later he felt the vibration of his phone in his pocket.

Blaine Anderson (12:26am)- Does this have anything to do with what happened before break?

Kurt stood frozen. He remembers.

When Kurt didn't respond Blaine quietly asked, "Kurt, let me in. Please."

Kurt opened the door to let him in and they stood there for a second as Kurt tried not to make eye contact.

Blaine fumbled through words and Kurt wasn't sure if it was because of the alcohol or the awkwardness of the situation. "Kurt, I'm sorry. I thought.. I thought that it would be best to pretend it never happened. I didn't think it meant anything to you and you know, I've never been with a guy before. It was just a mistake. I drank too much and I was lonely. I-"

Kurt stopped him before he could say anymore. "I know. It's fine. You don't have to apologize or anything. I just want to go home though. I'm really not feeling well." His feelings were crushed, but he didn't want Blaine to see that. He wanted to go home and forget that anything had happened between them. He wanted to forget that he even thought for a second it could happen again.

"Fine, yea. I should go home too. We can walk together." Blaine opened the door and followed Kurt out of the bar and the rest of the way home.

****

The second Kurt walked in the room he grabbed a change of clothes and headed back out so he could hide in the lounge area until Blaine went to sleep. He was so embarrassed and confused and disappointed. It was a mixture of feelings that Kurt had never felt all at once before.

After 30 minutes of flipping through magazines to try to calm his active mind, Kurt decided to go back to his room for the night. He figured Blaine would be asleep by now especially considering the amount of alcohol he had consumed. Kurt opened the door to find that he was wrong. It was dark except for the lights beaming from their laptops. Blaine was still awake and sitting on the edge of his bed. He was hunched over with his head in his hands. When he noticed Kurt came back in he jumped up.

"Kurt, can we talk maybe? I know I said it already, but I'm sorry. I know I must have hurt you. I'm so confused right now." Blaine sounded nervous.

"You don't have to apologize. I told you. We can forget it ever happened if that's what you want."

Blaine stood in front of Kurt, holding eye contact with him. "I don't know if I do want to forget." Blaine pulled Kurt closer and kissed him. Kurt's stomach filled with butterflies. This isn't happening. Is this happening? I must be dreaming. He tastes like beer. What am I doing? I can't have these feelings

As much as he didn't want to, Kurt pushed Blaine away. "I can't do this again. You're drunk. I won't let you mess with my emotions. I can't kiss you. I can't sleep with you and wake up to find that you've conveniently forgotten anything happened."

"But I don't want to do that either. What happened before break was just a cumulation of feelings that I've had for you from the very beginning. I just- I just have never felt this way about a guy. I didn't know what to do. I mean, I know what to do with girls, but with you... It's different. Fuck. I've completely ruined everything haven't I?"

Kurt watched as Blaine sat back down on his bed. He wasn't ready for a confession like that. It took him completely by surprise and he didn't know what to do. He wanted to scoop Blaine into his arms and kiss his lips one more time, but there were so many doubts. He is still drunk after all. I don't want to play games. I don't want to have to go through more awkward moments because he pretends to forget. Oh, fuck it!

Kurt grabbed Blaine by the hands and pulled him back up and into Kurt's bed. The twin size bed forced them to be practically on top of each other, but it wasn't the first time. Kurt took Blaine's face in his hands and kissed him again, this time with more passion, slipping his tongue inside his mouth. It was just as good as the first time, but Kurt couldn't help but wonder what Blaine tasted like when he hadn't been drinking.

Their kisses were filled with passion and desire and Blaine moved his hands to explore Kurt's body. Blaine was about to slide his hand under Kurt's pants when Kurt put his hand down to stop him. "Kurt- I want you. I want you so bad. You don't know how many times I've thought about what happened between us."

"I can't. Not like this. If you want me then you can have me when you're sober. I want you to remember and I want you to know for sure this is what you want." He gave Blaine one more kiss and wrapped his arms around him. Blaine didn't bother to protest as he rested his arm around Kurt's waist. Kurt figured that Blaine would make his way into his own bed by morning, but at least he could enjoy another night with him.

****