New York

"You are cordially invited to celebrate the weding of Mercedes Jones and Sam Evans."

Silence. Not a word escaped either of their mouths. Kurt's heart halted to a stop and the world froze. Everything he had work so hard to build could all come crashing down.

"Babe I think-"

"Shut up, im thinking." Kurt snapped back eagerly. He mentally reprimanded himself for jumping at Danny like that, but his attention was elsewhere. Mercedes and Sam. Wow. They always did look good together he thought. And married? Oh my god! At 23! He couldn't help but feel excited for his old friend who must be cake testing and dress shopping. A feeling lurched in his stomach and made him feel queasy. He can't go.

"Well obviously i'm not going." Kurt finalized. He couldn't. He didn't have the strength to return to Lima after all these years and face his father, his friends...Blaine. No. He was here in New York, with his new friends, his amazing life, and Danny. But something still felt like it was missing.

"What?" Danny was slightly appalled. How could he not. Sure he wasn't aware about every detail of why Kurt left his hometown. But he heard enough to know that Mercedes was someone who always stuck by him and supported him. How could Kurt just brush that off and get back to his life?

"I said, i'm not going." Kurt repeated slowly as if the first time wasn't clear enough.

"Are you serious?"

"Of course i'm serious, Danny!" He responded throwing his hands up in the air and stepping out from the table and tossing his napkin aside. "How could I even consider going back? My dad?" Anger boiled from inside him and it took everything in his willpower not to continue shouting at his boyfriend. How could Danny possibly conceive that Kurt would go back, It was too painful and hard.

"Im sorry." He boyfriend murmerred looking down at his plate and avoiding eye contact. His hair covered his eyes and sat there guiltily which made Kurt sigh and feel the need to wrap him up in his arms.

"No. I am. You just don't understand. I'm not ready. I don't think i'll ever be." He reasoned.

"Can I be honest with you?" Danny asked his eyes blazing. He didn't want to push Kurt to far... he didn't want to lose Kurt.

"Of course you can." Kurt was mildly suprised by the request. Danny could do whatever he wanted.

"You are being selfish and a complete ass. How could you NOT consider going? Mercedes, your Mercedes. Your best friend. Your biggest fan, your supporter. She was always there for you. This is her day, how can you not be there for her? What are you afraid of Kurt? That you won't be accepted, welcomed, or that you won't be who they think you are?" He was towering over Kurt, his eyes red with tears and his hands clenching. "I'm saying you should go and that if you don't, you will regret it for the rest of your life. You will never be able to make this up to her. No fixing or repairing after this. So you should think long and hard before you RSVP no, because if you do...if you say no...you lose them forever. And thats a really long time Kurt." He let out a breath of air and dropped his gaze from Kurts. "I love you so much. But this isn't who you are."

With that, Danny left the room and slammed his door that echoed throughout the entire apartment.

Kurt sat lifeless. What just happened? He couldn't move, he couldn't speak, his whole body was numb. He was terrified. Not by the fact that his boyfriend completely lost control and went all crazy, but by the fact that he was wrong. There would be no turning back if he said no. Danny was right.

"Rach, I need you." Kurt was already halfway out the door shrugging his coat on before she agreed.

"Of course. Are you alright, you sound worried." She said, her protectiveness apparent even through the phone.

"I'll explain it to you when I get there. I just need some advice and a friend."

With that, they both hung up. Walking to Rachels wasn't too far. It took about 15 minutes and those minutes were spent holding back his sobs. Kurt felt everything shattering. He needed comfort, he needed someone who knew exactly what happnened all those years ago to tell him what to do.

He needed Rachel. He never needed anyone. Even when he got harrassed and tormented at McKinley, he kept to himself and never let anyone in. This was different. There was a fine line between his two lives and depending on what she says, they could crash together and who know what kind of mayhem that could cause?

"Hey." She opened her door welcomely as she rubbed her eyes. She must have been asleep when he called.

"Hey." He responded gratefully as he walked in and hung his coat up on the rack.

"Do you want anything to drink, coffee, water?" She asked crossing her arms and leaning her head to the side with her soothing smile.

"No, thanks." Kurt said reciprocating the smile, not exactly sure where to begin. "Can we just talk, I really need some advice on something."

"Of course." She walked over to the couch and patted on the seat next to her where she curled up and gave Kurt her full attention. It was rare that Kurt stopped by now. It never happened that he came to her out of all people. She wanted to swallow him in a hug and bother him about every deatil of his life. But what didn't she know? He was everywhere she turned, on the Tv, in the paper, heck she knew everything about him. But so little at the same time.

Life at NYADA was time consuming for Rachel as she juggled auditions, classes, and her role in Mamma Mia which she just landed. So, their schedules rarely had free time for one another.

Of course, they still talked over the phone regularly and such. But this was different. It felt like old times when they used to curl up next to each other with some hot cocoa and spill about the latest gossip.

"So whats up?" She asked fondly.

"I...I'm lost. I might sound really spiritual, but bear with me." He let out a dry laugh. "There are two different paths infront of me. One is the path I want to take and the other is the path I should take. I've worked hard to get away from the right path and now it's catchnig up to me." He saw her slightly puzzled look, but needed to vent some more. "Now, if take the path I want to take, the other path will be closed of forever and I don't know if I want it t be gone."

"Look. Honey, you have to tell me whats going on. All this talk about paths is really confusing." She rubbed his arm gently and gave him a serious look.

Kurt explained everything. About what Danny said and about how he was torn. He discussed his fears and obvious confusion about the whole subject. In the middle of rambling, he was cut off.

"Wow."

"I know." He said relaxing back into the couch.

"I can't believe I wasn't invited."

"Rachel! This isn't the time to get bitchy with me!"

"I was kidding. Geez, just trying to lighten the mood." the both couldn't help but let out roaring laughs and thinking about how much they missed this. "But look Kurt, I know this hard. I really do. No matter what I will always be here for you and be on your side. But you have to go. Danny was right. If you walk away now, there is no turning back."

He felt tears begin to form and tried to hold them back. "Come here sweetie." Rachel invited with open arms. They stayed there for a while as Kurt was sobbing.

"I'm so scared Rach." He confessed as tears spilled down his cheeks. "I'm terrified."

"I know, I know." She ran her fingers through his chesnut hair and soothed him. "Shhh, it'll all be okay."