Doctors Need Mending Too

Chapter 2

At 7 o'clock that evening, the CCU nurse shook me awake gently from my unconsciously assumed uncomfortable position bent on myself by the plastic chair in the waiting lounge.

"You should go home and rest. You look exhausted."

"Just let me say goodbye."

The nurse gave me a warm smile and allowed me back into my dad's room.

"I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

"Sure thing, kid"

He was watching me intently as I walked the small distance from the entryway to his bedside to give him a hug and a peck on the cheek.

"Love you."

I was on my way out when I saw Blaine's still small frame leaning on the counter of the nurse station. He was wearing a white coat and with the stethoscope still around his neck. He was browsing through a chart and was on the phone with someone. I walked closer to watch him in silence, not wanting to distract him from the conversation he was having.

"Yes, doctor. Everything's looking good. The echo was fine. EKG was unremarkable. Cardiac markers were negative. His creatinine is normal. I'll clear him tonight and schedule the angiogram tomorrow. Of course, yes, doctor. I'll update you. Thank you. Yes. Goodnight."

I couldn't help the smile that was playing on my lips. I watched him give me a questioning look as he hang up and the way his dark brows scrunched towards each other just made me smile even more.

"What?"

I let out a chuckle.

"I've forgotten how adorable you look."

He blushed at that. But he didn't look away. Instead he smiled back and we both broke into laughter.

"I'm sorry I didn't get to come back earlier. Every nurse station was paging me!" he said afterwards.

"It's okay. But we are still up for coffee, yes?" I asked.

"First thing tomorrow, I promise. I get off of here at around eight. Tonight, you get some sleep. I'd drive you home myself if I weren't on duty. But I would like walk you to the lobby if that's okay?" He placed an arm across my shoulder and guided me to the swinging doors marked 'EXIT' at the far end of the hallway and I was more than happy to comply. It's funny how Blaine's touch still affects me as the same shiver still runs down my spine each time we made contact. There' always been something in him that takes my breath away.

"I'd appreciate that, doctor." I teased. He gave out a snort and kept walking beside me. We stayed in a comfortable silence as we slowly reached the hospital lobby where he removed his arm from my shoulders to face me.

"Your dad will be fine. He'll go through the angiogram tomorrow just to be sure. But you don't have to worry. He's in really good hands, Kurt. Dr. Harrison is one of the best in what he does and I'll be the resident on duty so you should go home knowing I'll be keeping an eye on him for you."

Unconsciously, I stretched out both hands to grab lightly at the collars of his white coat.

"I've always thought that white would look good on you."

"All this time, I've thought you loved me because I was wearing clothes that were two sizes too small." He joked.

"It was all in the bow tie, Blaine Anderson."

"I know, I know. Off you go, Kurt. I'll see you in the morning."

The following morning, I decided to skip half of my daily moisturizing routine just so I could catch my dad before he was wheeled into the Angiography Section for his procedure. He was already in a stretcher when I arrived and Blaine was at his bedside.

"I almost missed you!"

"We would have seen each other later, buddy."

"Well, good luck, dad. Love you."

My dad raised his right hand to wave good bye just before the orderly in blue scrubs turned his stretcher and wheeled him out the door.

"Relax, Kurt. I personally think angiography would hurt less than a wisdom tooth extraction." Blaine tried to joke.

I turned to smile and show him I appreciate his efforts and he again reached out an arm to place at the small of my back. I cleared my throat before asking.

"So, coffee?"

"I'd love that. But could you wait about half an hour? Just let me endorse the patients then shower first okay?"

I looked at him head to toe and realized he's still wearing the same clothes he had on last night when he walked me to the lobby. I shook my head lightly in disbelief and a silly smile on my lips, unable to stop the words from escaping before I could think. "I can't believe you have a job where you can show up in the morning without showering. This should be illegal!" I moaned half-heartedly. Of course I was lying. I love seeing Blaine with his slightly disheveled hair and morning stubble. I used to put extra effort into waking up earlier during sleepovers just so I could watch him sleep and I kept doing it for months slowly memorizing every detail of his face, his quiet snore and his triangular eyebrows. The list could go on and on, -and on. (Yes, I'm damn dead of him!)

"Forgive me for having a busy night saving lives, Mr. Hummel."

"Still the drama queen, I see, Mr. Anderson." I answered back.

He led me through a couple of hallways before ending up in a room labeled "Doctor's Lounge" where he opened the door to let me in. Inside were a couple of other people in white coats and scrubs who were busily chatting. The room was relatively crowded having about four double decks crammed to one side and hundreds of hard bounded books on the other. At the center was a long table where a disorganized mix of cafeteria trays, coffee cups, bond papers and books was littered. I couldn't believe doctors could actually live in such a place.

"Sorry for the mess, I can practically see your eyes rolling back to your head." He said apologetically. He knows me too well. I raised a hand to shoo at him to tell him not to bother and he quickly reached out to take my hand before leading me to an empty chair near the far end of the table where a pretty blond girl with blue eyes in scrubs was reading through what appears to be a hospital census.

"She's Ellie, my batch mate. She'll be taking over me after I leave so I'll have to endorse."

"Nice meeting you." I extended a hand which she took shyly before giving me a warm smile.

"I'll see you in fifteen okay?" Blaine already had a towel and a basket of his bathroom supplies at hand.

"You can keep talking about me till then." He added before walking towards the bathroom.

Ellie didn't say a word for at least a couple of minutes probably gauging the best way to start a conversation. As I am no good at initiating small talk myself, I decided to wait. From the corner of my eye I watched her browse through the sheet of paper she was holding and caught her glancing towards my direction a couple of times. At about the third time she looked, I gave her the warmest smile I could muster and she looked relieved.

"So, I'm guessing, you are THE Kurt Hummel. He talks a lot about you."

"He... he does?"

"Well not him per se. Drunken Blaine does though. And we do a lot of drinking in Medical School. It's fun having him drunk to be honest and out of tradition, we always get him to talk about you. He could talk for hours without stopping you know that?"

I was laughing in agreement. I've seen what alcohol does to Blaine and it was bringing back a lot of memories.

"I'm hoping that he didn't attempt to kiss any more women in any of your parties?"

"Nope. Not even men. Mostly he just dances like his neck is going to snap off, sings and talks about how he loves everything! He's quite crazy when he's drunk to be honest."

"He is isn't he? I see growing up hasn't done much to his drunken persona."

We both laughed until tears started pooling at the sides of my eyes. After we recovered, she took a couple of deep breaths and talked again.

"I haven't seen him this happy. I mean, we've been classmates since college and he's always been, well, reserved -uptight, in control and everything you know?" she gave me a questioning look and I nodded in agreement. That's just exactly how Blaine was.

"It just got worse after his father had a heart attack."

"Wait, Mr. Anderson died?"

"Yeah, a couple of years ago I think? It was just before we got accepted into medical school."

"How did Blaine take it? Oh my god! I never heard the news. I was in New York and nobody ever bothered to let me know!"

"He kept blaming himself, for the most part. Said, the last conversation they had ended up badly and that his dad died thinking he had a failure for a son."

"I'm glad he had you around with him. You look like a really nice person."

She blushed and bowed her head.

"There were a couple of us. I mean, we tried to break his shell. But he kept insisting he was ok. He just kind of turned to himself. He was still Blaine, but you know there's something missing -like a light's been turned off. He was still noisy and cheeky and everything, but there's always an empty space in his eyes."

I've always seen that sadness in Blaine and have continuously wondered how to take it away. But she was right; Blaine's shell is a tough one to break. Apart from the very rare times that I've caught him vulnerable, he's always acted like he was okay. It was frustrating at first, but soon enough I have understood that Blaine needed the façade. It was just a part of him and I have learned to cherish the infrequent times that he has managed to let me in knowing that it was me he trusted and opening up completely would take time. Back then, I felt like I could wait forever.

But we broke up, went opposite ways and it was over. I felt the familiar pang of loss that I have not had in ages. Blaine will always be my first love, but the time we've had apart has allowed me to push any thoughts of him to the back of my mind.

Until now.

The need for me to decipher that complexity of Blaine's coping mechanisms is tugging at the pit of my stomach again. I used to spend hours worrying about him back when were together and I think I'm starting at it again. Alarms were going off inside my head.

-We are not together. Don't push it. I kept repeating the same mantra to myself.

"He wasn't planning on going to med school. We took up Biology and he kept insisting it was to shut his parents up. But his dad died before college graduation and the next school year he was taking up Anatomy with us. I know his dad has always wanted him to take law or medicine but he never did. After they've sworn not to pay for any tuition if it's not in the field they want, Blaine gave in and took a pre-med. At first, he was miserable! But time passed and he has always ended up awesome in anything that he did. He graduated with honors."

Pride. I was beaming albeit the sad frown forming at the sides of my lips.

"He was going to New York. He said he might end up encountering you. He was going to use his degree to save up and probably take up acting. Being a doctor was never part of the plan until his father died."

Maybe I was over analyzing. Maybe I'm acting like I still know him well enough to understand his complexities but I couldn't help it.

"He did it out of guilt." I said.

"That's what I thought. But he's Blaine. He does well in everything, even if it's not intentional, even if he's not happy. We graduated a year ago and he was at the top of our class. Now here we are. Things got better once he got to talk to patients and manage cases. I guess it's an inevitable change doctors have once we see how we can make others better. There's a certain fulfillment in having that sort of ability and it has convinced Blaine to stick around."

Just when I was going to ask more, Blaine came out of the bathroom in a clean white polo shirt and black pants. His curls were free and his glasses were nowhere to be found.

-God, he looks awesome.

I swallowed hard biting the inside of my mouth to stop myself from saying any of that out loud. He took the seat beside me, holding a similar census that Ellie has; only it was crumpled and had a couple of weird looking stains around it. There were also a lot of scribbled notes which I recognized as Blaine's handwriting too.

"So, have you told him any of the drunken tales you love telling about me?" He joked.

"Quite. He was clearly amused. But I think he'd rather catch up with you now so start endorsing and get out of here." Ellie replied with a laugh.

He was saying stuffs about lab works and procedures about different patients but I was too busy admiring just how manly he has turned out to be. His jaw has turned out wonderfully squared and he looks more confident now too. There was an easy, knowing smile in his face and he just seemed happy. Despite what Ellie has told me, Blaine seemed like he enjoys what he's doing. Well, maybe he does, right?

"Mr. Hummel is Kurt's dad, post-angio. He will be transferred to Telemetry post-operatively. Keep an eye on him okay?"

"Will do. Now off you go."

Blaine stood up and I did the same giving Ellie a courteous nod before turning Blaine.

"There's this awesome place in Lima you may want to try out." He said with a grin.

"It's called Lima Bean."

"I can't wait. I think I'm up for a cup of some non-fat mocha." I replied.