2:51 pm
Blaine: Zero. I would kill you zero.
Blaine: Mostly cause I feel like shit.
Blaine: I seem to have contracted whatever plague has been go around after care.

2:54 pm
Kurt: That sounds awesome. and by awesome I mean terrible.
Kurt: I realized that after procrastinating all weekend
Kurt: the paper I thought that was due Thursday is actually due tomorrow
Kurt: all I have are several paragraphs that I just looked over and they suck.

2:56 pm
Blaine: IM date?

2:57 pm
Kurt: IM date.
Kurt: I’ll see you on the internet!

3:04 pm
Blaine: good, I’m at work right now and then I’ll go home and take a nap.
Blaine: I’ll be online later, sometime around 8.

3:05 pm
Kurt: see ya then.

~~~~~

8:54 pm
Blaine: remember that time I said I was at work and then I was going to take a nap?

Soon after that, my boss sent me home sick.

So instead I just slept for almost 5 hours.

Kurt: do you feel better?

Blaine: yeah about 75% better
although I still can’t breathe through my nose

Kurt: attractive

Blaine: quite
how’s the paper?

Kurt: in a word- BLERGH
Although thanks to your marathon nap, I actually got about 5 pages written
(because let’s be honest, I’m not really going to get anything done when I’d rather be talking to you.)

Blaine: how long does it have to be? (truth.)

Kurt: 8-10 pages
so really 7 and a half

Blaine: exactly
I hate that I fell asleep when it was sunny and woke up in the dark
I feel like I time-warped
did I miss anything important in the world?

Kurt: well, it turns out the moon landing was a hoax
JFK was killed by the Cubans
and Jimmy Hoffa has been living in the Bahamas all this time

Blaine: I may never nap again

Kurt: or perhaps you should nap more often so that all of the world’s mysteries will be solved.
up next: what happened to Amelia Earhart

Blaine: no, no, no

what I really want to know is where all the socks go when they get lost in the dryer.

Kurt: How does that compare to finding out what happened to Amelia Earhart?

Blaine: it doesn’t, but I still want to KNOW

Kurt: PS I also found out why yawns are contagious, but I’ve been sworn to secrecy

Blaine: that’s mean. Please tell me.

Kurt: can’t. sworn to secrecy.

Blaine. Aw come on Kurt. I NEED TO KNOW.

Kurt: I know, but SWORN TO SECRECY, so what are ya gonna do?

Blaine: Punch you in the solar plexus next time I see you?
Sorry about that
apparently children’s cough syrup makes me violent

Kurt: Why children’s?

Blaine: I don’t know. it’s all Matt had.
I texted him to bring me home “some of the good stuff”
so hopefully he’ll bring me some nyquil a little later on.

Kurt: you should probably text again and be more specific
or else you’ll end up with bourbon and baby aspirin or something

Blaine: yeahhhhh, good call
I should also get him to bring me some chicken

Kurt: soup, Blaine, chicken soup
you don’t need a whole chicken

Blaine: Kurt. I always need a whole chicken.

Kurt: What is it about the chicken Blaine?

Blaine: It soothes me.

Kurt: nothing more specific than that?


Blaine: well, when I was little, like 4, 5, 6ish
my grandma used to babysit me a couple times a month
and there was this rotisserie chicken place she loved by my house
that has sadly since closed
every time she babysat, we’d always walk to get chicken, because she didn’t drive
and then when we got home, we’d just sit around and eat it, not cut it or put it on plates
it was my favorite
she died when I was 10
but her love for chicken lives on
DUE TO MY ENDLESS LOVE AND NEED FOR CHICKEN.
EAT MORE CHICKEN.

Kurt: Bravo Blaine. Way to take a really poignant story
and turn it into propaganda for the chicken industry

Blaine: they’re my bros, I do what I can

Kurt: the chicken industry are you bros?

Blaine: yeah and the Chick-fil-A cows
they’re my homies

Kurt: I think you need to cut back on the children’s cough syrup
are there currently cows in your dorm room

Blaine: yes
but that’s not limited to when I’m taking cough syrup

Kurt: I’m shaking my head

Blaine: I knew you were
you’re so predictable

Kurt: Am I allowed to ask how speech is going?

Blaine: yes you’re allowed to ask
and it’s fine

Kurt: I want to bring it up because even though I’ve met Chad
You haven’t mentioned it since then

And I don’t want it to be one of those weird things
that we never talk about
or acknowledge
because you’re uncomfortable talking about it
but I don’t want you to assume because I never ask that I’m indifferent
I’m not indifferent
I’m actually really interested
I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable

Blaine: hmm. I get that.
is there something specific you want to know?

Kurt: I don’t know, because I don’t really know much about it
you’ve mostly been vague about the whole process

Blaine: ok, let me think about this for a second.
brb

Kurt: sure

9:48 pm

Blaine: Back.

Kurt: you realize I’m not going to let the subject drop
if that’s why you brb’d

Blaine: no, I needed more tissues
apparently my nasal cavities just opened up

Kurt: now that’s HAWT

Blaine: I figured I’d be brutally honest if you were going to assume my intentions were to divert you from the topic at hand

Kurt: fine you win
because it’s a competition

Blaine: ok. so here’s the deal. with speech.
I like it when you ask about it because it’s on my mind a lot lately
and I don’t want to always bring it up
because it’s sort of boring
it’s not really the most exciting thing in the world
and I do feel … shy about it (shocking, right?)
and embarrassed about going, about needing to go

Kurt: Please don’t be embarrassed about going
I think it’s really quite brave of you
to go back after all this time

Blaine: I dunno, I guess it feels like it’s... highlighting my flaws to you
like I can’t hide and pretend that there’s nothing wrong with me if I’m going to speech therapy

Kurt: there’s nothing “wrong” with you Blaine

Blaine: let’s agree to disagree there Kurt
on the other hand

I also don’t want to bring it up because I feel like I’m actually making progress
but it’s not really noticeable outward progress yet
it’s still kind of just... head stuff, like how I *think* about my speech
so when you ask how it’s going
I don’t want to say “It’s awesome! I’m making progress!”
and you to think “Um. Blaine’s crazy if he thinks his speech is getting better.”
I don’t know if I’m saying this right
do you kind of get what I’m saying?

Kurt: I think I do
however, for starters, I think you’re crazy anyway, so that’s moot

Blaine: thanks for that

Kurt: I tease, I tease

but even if you don’t feel like it’s noticeable progress, it’s still something that YOU feel
and I like hearing about that, about how you feel
no matter what topic you might be expressing feelings about
because you’re not particularly... forward with your emotions

Blaine: I know
emotions tend to be messy
and they’re even messier when I try to *talk* about them
but I can usually type about them
so maybe if we keep the heavy speech therapy talk to typing?

Kurt: that might work
but I’ll still ask about it sometimes in real life
just so you remember that I care
and you can just tell me it’s fine
Or you can say more than that, but only if you want to
only if/when you’re comfortable talking about it
and then I can give you a hug
no matter what you say or don’t say
would that be alright with you?

Blaine: I like the sound of this plan

Kurt: me too :)

Blaine: I can tell you another feeling Kurt
you make me happy

Kurt: you make me happy too Blaine

Blaine: good, I feel less dorky now that you said it too

Kurt: now stop trying to change the subject by making me all warm and gooey
AND TELL ME SOMETHING SPECIFIC ABOUT SPEECH THERAPY

Blaine: ugggghhhhhh. fine.
let’s see
yesterday Chad recorded me while I read aloud
which is like TORTURE
and then we watch the video and discuss stuff
like the eye blinking and the neck jerk thing

it’s just like really really embarrassing
I have no idea how people can stand to look at me when I stutter

Kurt: Blaine. Stop judging yourself so harshly.
it’s nowhere near as bad as you make it in your head

Blaine: if you say so...
anyway, a lot of what we talk about are basic control techniques
relaxed breathing
rolling into sentences, pullouts, cancellations
voluntary stuttering

Kurt: I love how you’re rattling this stuff off like I have any idea what you’re talking about

Blaine: oh um.
here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stuttering_therapy
and this: http://www.journalofstuttering.com/3-1/TherapyfortheSevereOlderAdolescentandAdultStutterer.pdf

Kurt: you’re sending me a link to wikipedia?

Blaine: Sure, I mean, they say it pretty well, it’s not perfect, but it’s a good summary
Chad and I are using mostly stuttering modification
which is what the pdf is about

Kurt: so what you’re telling me, is that if I claim that I’m interested
I should read this stuff
and stop bugging you about it

Blaine: kind of. I mean, you can keep bugging me
but these ARE good things for you to read
if you really are interested
you don’t have to be interested

Kurt: seriously? You’re still questioning my level of interest

Blaine: fine. read the damn things. Be interested!

Kurt: I WILL!!!

10:32 pm

Blaine: are you actually reading them?

Kurt: I’m halfway through the wikipedia article
I’ll have to save the other one
it’s 70 pages
and I do have a paper to finish
but this is interesting

Blaine: we may need a new word for interesting
I think we’re overusing it

Kurt: engaging, fascinating, engrossing, riveting

Blaine: you’re on a roll

Kurt: you’re my synonym hero, so I’m trying to keep up with you

Blaine: aw :D
so can we be done talking about speech?

Kurt: I have one other question
I keep reading that most people don’t stutter when they whisper
do you?

Blaine: I don’t
but I mean, whispering isn’t really an effective way to communicate
on a daily basis

Kurt: you and I could whisper

Blaine: we could, but it’s just another bandaid and not a real fix
but we could whisper sometimes :)

Kurt: excellent
now we can be done with the speech talk
thank you for your participation

Blaine: you’re welcome
how’s the paper?

Kurt: almost done
how’s the chicken?

Blaine: it’s been gone for a long time
I miss it. :(

Kurt: eye rolling font

Blaine: it’s healing properties are unmatched
I now feel 93% better

Kurt: well then you win

Blaine: because it’s a competition

now that you’ve asked me a question that made me uncomfortable
I get to ask you a question that makes *you* uncomfortable

Kurt: I suppose that’s fair

Blaine: actually, I’m sort of assuming it makes you uncomfortable
since it never really comes up

you don’t even have to answer it tonight, if you don’t feel like getting into it
but what happened in high school?
Puck’s always alluding to some “shitstorm” that happened to you during high school

Kurt: ooooooh that.
this is what happens when people from high school show up later in life
damn him
Ok. I’ll tell you about it.
but I only have the conclusion left of my paper
so give me... 15 minutes?

Blaine: yeah, I’ll go take a shower
be back in a few

Kurt: ok

~~~~~

A moment of Kurt

I feel like I don’t mention often enough how much I’d like to kill Puck.

But Blaine was just really honest with me about a topic that makes him uncomfortable, so it’s really only fair that I tell him about this.

How bad would it be if I water things down a bit?

Not lie, but take it down a few notches.

All in favor of watering down, raise your hand!

[raises hand]

Watering down for the win...

~~~~~

11:27 pm

Kurt: I’m here.
are you?

11:33 pm

Kurt: guess not

so I’m going to type this out and you can catch up when you return. I came out when I was a sophomore in high school and it wasn’t easy but I had my friends in Glee. My dad was pretty cool about it and I always knew he loved me. I didn’t have any gay friends though, so I felt like there wasn’t anybody who really understood me or anyone I could talk to. I was getting bullied, pretty severely bullied by one of the guys on the football team. And it was like no one was paying attention, no one seemed to care that I was getting pushed around, that I had bruises up and down my arms. I kept thinking there would be a breaking point.

I don’t want to sound crazy, but sometimes I felt like I was waiting for someone who never showed up. I’m not like “new agey” but it always felt like there was supposed to be someone who would help me but they were late. Anyway, this was all sophomore year, into early junior year. My dad had a heart attack and that was awful and everything really sucked.

things kind of got worse and worse, and then Puck found me one day, crying in the locker room. I was so, so embarrassed. I was really tired of getting shoved around and I broke down and I thought I was alone, but I guess Puck heard me. And from then on he made it his mission, *HIS MISSION*, to make sure that no one messed with me anymore. It was actually really annoying at times, but he took a lot of punches for me over the years and things actually did get better.

Then I met Sebastian, who I kind of told you about this summer, and it was nice to just know another out guy. Someone to … make out with and go to my prom with. It wasn’t perfect, but it was an experience. He was charming (but actually smarmy) and confident (but actually arrogant) and sort of seemed like what I needed at the time. I guess I’m glad it happened in some ways. In other ways, not so much.

Suffice to say my bodyguard Puck always took things a little too... far. But luckily he didn’t end up in prison, or I would feel bad. I’m pretty much rambling. Quite frankly, bring this up again someday face to face and I think I could do a better job with it. There’s a lot more to this story, but I don’t think I can do it justice after writing an 8 page paper. I’m all written out.

11:47 pm

Blaine: hi. :)

Kurt: welcome back

Blaine: I’ve been here for awhile but I figured I’d let you type it out.

so, like next time we’re together, can I give you a hug?

Kurt: of course
like I said, I don’t mind talking about this again sometime
if you’re really interested

Blaine: oh this game again. :P
I’m interested!!!
You’re interested!!!
we’re engrossed and riveted by each other!!!!!!!

Kurt: that’s some serious misuse of exclamation points Blaine
how would you feel about me calling you Blainers?
I constantly want to call you Blainers

Blaine: I’m fine with that. :)
you know what I have to say fascinates me about your high school experience
is the fact that Rachel wasn’t with Puck during this whole time

Kurt: hmm. why?

Blaine: I guess because I kind of can’t imagine Puck helping you out of the goodness of his heart, not without Rachel nagging him
That’s really dickish of me to say.
don’t tell him I said that

Kurt: no you’re right
it does kind of go against everything you’d assume about him
he really just got it in his head I needed help
I was his community service project when he got out of juvie

Blaine: I THOUGHT HE WAS LYING ABOUT JUVIE!?!?

Kurt: nope, not a lie
and Rachel was with Finn for most of high school
so I don’t think she was nagging puck to help me
if she was, it’s been kept under wraps all these years

Blaine: yeah, and where was Finn during all of this?
when did his mom and your dad get married?

Kurt: pretty much in the middle of the “shitstorm”
he was around, he helped when he could
but I think he was dealing with almost as much shit as I was at that point
but his shit was mostly internal
I don’t blame him for staying out of it
although, I think my dad might

Blaine: I’m quite fond of you, Kurt Hummel
I don’t think I tell you that nearly enough

Kurt: well thank you very much Blaine Anderson
I find spending time with you to be quite palatable
which reminds me
what are you doing over the four day weekend?

Blaine: I’m flying home on Friday night for my grandpa’s 80th birthday party on Saturday
but I’ll be back late Sunday night
Why, do you have a fun idea?????

Kurt: I’m cooking up a fun idea.

Blaine: ARE WE FINALLY GOING TO BECOME CARNIES???

Kurt: let the dream die Blaine.
They rejected our application
it’s not going to happen
we’re not tough enough to be carnies

Blaine: I could be tough
I have a feeling I could grow a GLORIOUS beard
maybe I should grow a beard
how do you feel about beards Kurt?

Kurt: I’m not the biggest fan
just remember, it’s your face, but I have to kiss it
also, tough carnies don’t use words like glorious
particularly when describing facial hair

Blaine: fine, fine
so what’s your fun idea?

Kurt: it’s still cooking. marinating

Blaine: brining and pickling?

Kurt: yes. I’m pickling an idea.

Blaine: that sounds sort of … sexy

Kurt: BLUSHING FONT
jeez Blaine. That’s not like you to talk like that.

Blaine: I know. Maybe children’s cough syrup also makes me risque

Kurt: it’s also my birthday that weekend
the big 2-1

Blaine: I was thinking the other day I had no idea when your birthday is

so that’s good, you can go off and celebrate with your fancy friends

and I’ll hang out with my grandpa
do you have the same birthday as my grandpa!!!??? On the 18th?

Kurt: no mine’s the 19th
when’s yours?

Blaine: I’ll be 21 on May 30th
my mom kept me home an extra year, hoping my speech would get better

Kurt: ah, I didn’t realize you were such an old man

Blaine: I am old and wise, Kurt.
also kind of sick, I think

somehow even though I slept for 5 hours today, I’m tired again.

Kurt: that’s because chicken doesn’t actually have magical healing properties
and sleep does

Blaine: fine. Be all logical and not-fun
thanks for telling me all that tonight
sometimes I forget that there’s a lot we still don’t know each other

Kurt: sometimes it feels like I’ve known you a lot longer than I have

Blaine: yup
g’night Kurt

Kurt: night Blaine
feel better!

Blaine: thanks. I already do.

good luck with your paper. :)
blainers out