Hello B.(Bruce? Brianna? Bobby? Bethany?)Anderson,
I’m in your Lit class and I just wanted to tell you that I was really impressed with what you said today in the group discussion. I would never have had the courage to step into that fray and say something as levelheaded as you did.

I’m thinking if you’re going to be levelheaded and I aspire to be levelheaded, then perhaps we should team up.

I think you gave a voice to something they just weren’t seeing.

So I thank you and so does my 13 year old cousin with autism.

-K.(Kurt)Hummel

~~~~~

To: K.Hummel@nyu.edu
From: B.Anderson6@nyu.edu
Date: Fri, May 30, 2013 11:46 pm
Subject: RE: I hope I’m not overstepping

Kurt- I hate to admit it, I tried to write back to this email about 20 times between yesterday and today. I wanted to say something more than just thanks. But I decided that thanks might be enough.

I’m not sure how levelheaded I always am. There’s a Buffy the Vampire Slayer quote in there somewhere, I just can’t remember it. But now I’m worried I’m letting my dork flag fly a little too high.

Team Levelheadedness for the win,
B for Blaine

PS I’m going to regret not deleting that stuff about Buffy in 3, 2, 1...

~~~~~

To: Blaine, From: Kurt
Date: Sun, June 1, 2013 1:17 pm
Subject: RE:I hope I’m not overstepping

Dear B for Blaine-

“And I happen to think mine is the level head, and yours is the one things would roll off of.”

Oh Willow, you’re so wonderful. We’ll have to get t-shirts made up for our team and that will be our motto. And Willow can be our mascot. Except for when she’s vein-y and trying to destroy the world. Obviously.

The crazies seemed to have calmed down over there for now. I’m just glad they didn’t start throwing things due to your logic. Although there’s this one girl (D.Marshall) who seems to think that Christopher actually did kill the dog. WTF. Did she read the book? Couldn’t you at least google the end before making yourself look like an ass, D.Marshall? There’s a little thing called Wikipedia.

I apologize for my snarkiness, but usually I would share my comments with whoever was sitting next to me. I’ve decided that you sit next to me in cyberspace.

Please don’t judge me,
Kurt

~~~~~

To: Kurt, From: Blaine
Date: Sun, June 1, 7:52 pm
Subject: RE:I hope I’m not overstepping

I have never been so relieved to have Buffy quoted to me before in my entire life.

I think they’re getting over the levelheadedness. Although I’m just lucky no one wanted to get into the definition of instinct. They could probably make a pretty decent argument that instinct and thoughtless can be mostly synonymous.

D.Marshall’s rant about train stations smelling like hobos is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. And by funny, I mean sad. It’s like she’s really taking to heart the average amount of posting we’re supposed to be doing on a daily basis and just writes whatever ridiculous shit flies into her head. I have no idea how people are keeping a straight face and intelligently responding to her.

Hence why I’ve been keeping a low profile over there. I hit my posting requirements in the fallout of my “levelheaded post.” I’m just excited that we’re moving onto A Prayer for Owen Meany after this. I’m sure our fellow classmates will need Team Levelheadedness to come clean up their mess again.

-B
~~~~~~

To: Blaine, From: Kurt
Date: Sun, June 1, 8:17 pm
Subject: I dropped Owen Meany on my foot

It hurt. I’m not sure how I feel about this book. It seems like it might be violent. (the physical book, not the actual story. I’m now picturing it it attacking me like The Monster Book of Monsters. Oh, look at that! My dork flag is flying!)

Are you sure it’s good? I know, I know, I should have read it by now, seeing as how the discussion of it starts this week. I am a slacker.

Are you around online? Maybe we could take this to i.m.?

~~~~~

To Kurt, From Blaine
Date: Sun, June 1, 11:38 pm
Subject: Re:I dropped Owen Meany on my foot

Ugh, sorry I missed this email. I was having a “discussion” with my dad. We “discussed” his interest in me leaving the house more. And I nodded a lot. It’s not that I’m lazy or something, my summer job just doesn’t start for a couple weeks, so I’m... decompressing. My father doesn’t think this is valid. I went for a seven mile run today, does that count for nothing?!

ANYWAY.

Owen Meany is one of those books that just stuck with me, it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. I read it last summer (twice, I’ll admit it. I read it twice. In a row.) And it was amazing. I got to the end and it was a mind fuck. So if that’s what you look for in your literature then you are in for a treat!

Can I take a rain check on the chat? I think if we save it for Wednesday night when the rest of the class starts losing their shit over Owen, you and I can sit back and watch. It sounds illuminating.

I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I’m getting to stir the pot a little bit. Watch out D.Marshall, I’m coming for you.

I never thought of myself as an intellectual snob until right this second. I also don’t usually swear this much in emails to strangers.

Until next time, continue flying that dork flag with pride.

~~~~~

To: Blaine, From: Kurt
Date: Mon, June 2, 2:46 am
Subject: Re: I dropped Owen Meany on my foot

I’ve been reading Owen for the past 6 hours. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? WHY IS IT SO GOOD? I have no idea where it’s going, but it’s gooooooooood.

I think I’m drunk on reading. And tiredness. I have work in 7 hours.

~~~~~

To: Blaine, From: Kurt
Date: Mon, June 2, 10:07 am
Subject: Re: I dropped Owen Meany on my foot

Work is terrible today. I blame Owen.

I wanted to apologize for my extremely late and weird email last night. But I just really wanted you to know that I was liking the book. And I wanted you to know IMMEDIATELY. Obviously.

And I’m writing this email because I feel like I didn’t fully digest your original email.

I’m no dad expert, my dad is … sort of perfect. I just lucked out. I’m sure your dad will get over it once your job starts. I don’t know, were you looking for advice or not looking for advice? It’s so hard to tell in email.

So does that mean you’re living at home this summer and if that’s the case where is home? I’m in NY for the summer. I have an internship that was too good to pass up.

I’m sure D.Marshall is very afraid.

~~~~~

From: Blaine, To: Kurt
Date: Mon, June 2, 11:22 am
Subject: Re: I dropped Owen Meany on my foot

I will now liveblog my morning:
I woke up, grabbed my lap top, poured a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, turned on The Price is Right, logged into my email and promptly spewed a mouthful of cereal onto the coffee table.

That email about Owen in the middle of the night was gold. Pure comedic gold. Now come to Ohio and kindly clean up this mess. (yes, I’m in Ohio for the summer, a decision I’m regretting.)

Tell me about your internship.

(About my dad, I didn’t need advice, just needed a quick vent.)

~~~~~

From: Kurt, To: Blaine
Date: Mon, June 2, 11:37 am
Subject: a very important email

I am typing this email with the most serious face that I can muster simply because my boss is currently staring at me. It could be because I lolled inappropriately at your liveblogging. I am not hungover on alcohol, madam, I am hungover on READING. My love of literature kept me from my... Ok, she stopped looking at me.

I’m interning at Teen Vogue. I will now give you... 30 seconds to laugh your ass off. And begin.
*
*
*
*
*
End laughter.

It’s actually a really good internship. I mean I’m not doing much more than running around the office and fielding phone calls, but it’s good experience. I just want it on my resume so maybe I can do something else someday.

And you know what, I love Teen Vogue ok? It might not be the best magazine, I know it’s no Seventeen, or Sassy in the early 90’s, but it doesn’t mean that it’s not good.

Oh, you weren’t going to say any of that and I just got defensive for no reason? Oh. Oops.

Anyway, Ohio you say? I’m from Lima. Ohioans of the world unite under the banner of levelheadedness!

Shit fuck. I need more coffee.

~~~~~

To: Kurt, From: Blaine
Date: Mon, June 2, 12:02 pm
Subject: Re: a very important email

I live about 2 hours from Lima. Just outside of Columbus, in New Albany to be exact.

I just saw the most amazing thing on the Price is Right. Not only did TWO people spin a dollar, one of them WON BOTH SHOWCASES. I mean, really. What are the odds?!? If I cared I would do the math. Lucky for us, I don’t actually care. I just watch in case they play Plinko. What is it about the magic of Plinko?

I think your internship sounds kind of cool. I mean, especially if you’re getting experience in something you want to do. Definitely more glamorous than what I’m doing this summer. (camp counselor. But not sleep away camp, which would be cool, just your average run of the mill day camp.)

~~~~~

To: Blaine, From: Kurt
Date: Mon, June 2, 1:48 pm
Subject: Re: a very important email

Blaine, your enthusiasm for the Price is Right makes me worry that your father might have a point about getting out more.

~~~~~

To Kurt, From: Blaine
Date: Mon, June 2, 3:01 pm
Subject: Re: a very important email

Whose side are you on?

Just because I spent the past 3 hours watching a Family Feud marathon on the game show network is no cause for concern.

I can quit whenever I want.

I can quit right now! Mostly because I don’t want to watch Louie Anderson host. I prefer Ray Combs or John O’Hurley.

That’s it, I’m going for a jog. So I can be home in time to feed my Sims dinner.

(You know I’m not really mad right? I mean, it’s just so hard to convey on the internet. Also, I love my Sims very dearly. I would never make them wait to eat until after I got back from running. Because then the social worker would come and the stove might catch on fire and they would all run around crying. And I wouldn’t be there Kurt. I wouldn’t be there to help them. Or to tell them when to go to the bathroom.)

~~~~~

To: Blaine, From: Kurt
Date: Mon, June 2, 4:48 pm
Subject: You are a shut-in

I think I’m even more worried now.

And yet, I might just have to re-install the Sims. My roommate deleted it from my computer one night when I ran into her room and yelled “They’ve repossessed our toilet!!!” She thought I was serious. But I lost like seven generations of Sims. DAMN YOU WOMAN.

Thank God my day is almost over and I can go home and sleep and read Owen.

~~~~~

To: Kurt, From: Blaine
Date: Tues, June 3, 12:07 am
Subject: Re: You are a shut-in

I had no idea that toilets could get repossessed in this game.