I don’t want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone I can talk to
I want you just the way you are

Just the Way You Are by Billy Joel

I thought long and hard about what song to put on here for Valentine’s Day. I think this one works on a bunch of different levels. For starters, the first time you ever heard me sing by myself it was Billy Joel. And obviously, I love you just the way you are. But what’s even more important is that I know you love me just the way I am. And that’s amazing Kurt.

I’m working to improve myself, sure, and it’s partially because of you. But I really do know that I wouldn’t have to change for you, that I can be myself around you, that I don’t have to be something I’m not when I’m with you. You make me feel loved, Kurt. You make me feel accepted.

I wish we could be spending our first Valentine’s Day together, but I don’t think it really matters. Everyday is Valentine’s Day when I’m with you. It’s corny, but it’s the truth. I hope you feel the same way.

~~~~~

[Blaine smiles and waves]

[Kurt waves back.]

[Blaine holds up a sign that says “Happy Valentine’s Day!”]

[Kurt puts his hand over his mouth to stop from laughing and grabs for something next to his computer. He holds up a sign that says “I knew you would try to pull this shit.”]

[Blaine laughs so hard he falls out of his chair. He rights himself in front of the screen and scribbles furiously on the back of the other sign and then holds it up. “That’s not fair!! I want to hear your voice.”]

[Kurt flips his sign over and reveals the message “I’m not talking until you talk.”]

[Blaine gives him the finger.]

[Kurt shrugs makes a face that clearly reads “your loss.”]

Fuck.

Fuck indeed.

You totally www-www-win this rrrrround.

I know!

[Blaine smiles and looks away as he rubs the back of his neck. He feels exposed.]

[Kurt smiles] Holy beard, Blaine.

[Blaine touches his chin like he forgot that Kurt hadn’t seen it yet.] It’s good, rr-rr-rr-right?

It’s only been four weeks, how can it be that thick already?

If you think this is impressive, you should ssssssee mm-mm-mm-my abs.

What’s up with your abs?

I’ve beh-beh-beh-been wwww-www-working out wah-with Matt. We’re dah-dah-doing the thousand ss-ss-sit up challenge.

So, are you going to show me your abs or not? Don’t be a tease.

[Blaine looks around, as if someone might have snuck into his room in the last 3 minutes. He stands up and lifts up his shirt and flexes.]

[Kurt’s eyes go wide and he fans himself.] WHEW. That is really sexy.

[Blaine looks down at his stomach.] Stop joking.

I’m not joking. You have like ABS. Like real abs. Like at least a four pack.

[Blaine smiles shyly and sits back down.] We’re also dah-doing the thousand puh puh-puh-push up challenge, buh-bbbb-but mmmmmmy arms aren’t nah-nearly as impressive yet.

I’m sure they’re hot... Are you going to show me? [Kurt looks at Blaine expectantly.]

Next time. I have to ssssss-save sah-sah-some of the mmmmmmystery. [Blaine winks.]

Did you really just wink at me?

Yep. [Blaine bobs his head, uncomfortably.] So.

So. What’s up? Did you have fun last night?

[Blaine nods.] I, I-I-I-I-I... [He blinks a dozen times and lets out a long breath.] I www-www-wish you were there. It wah-wah-was ok.

Just ok?

Well, I mean, it just mm-mm-may-may-made mmmmme miss you.

[Kurt sighs and nods.] Everything makes me miss you.

[Blaine nods.] I, I, I, guess I had fun though. I-I-I-I dah-dah-dom-dominated at quarters wwwww-with Matt.

[Kurt makes a faux shocked expression.] Rachel swore up and down no one would ever again play quarters in our apartment after that night where she lost so many times in a row that she puked blue punch for the next 17 hours straight.

[Blaine shrugs.] She lied.

So you dominated huh?

I-I-I have excellent hand eye coordination.

I’m aware of that. How’s sign language?

Oh! I-I-I-I talked to Crazy Hair. Didi, her nah-nah-name is.

Didi?

Yeah, we we we we we wwww-were pah-paired together in class one dah-dah-day and afterward, she asked mmmmmme my nah-name. [Blaine looks at his hands and inhales sharply.] I-I-I-I told her I ssss-stah-stah-stutter and she wwwwwas like [Blaine makes his voice nasally and effeminate.] “Oh! My name is like a stutter. DiDi!” And I-I-I wwwwas … confused. It was nah-nah-nice though, she’s nnnnnn-ice.

I’m glad she was nice to you.

And pay-pay-patient, too. When I www-wah-was trying to sssssssay my nah-nah-name. [He punctuates this sentence with a sad little shrug and looks up at the camera again.]

[Kurt’s smiling a bit wistfully. He wishes he could be there to give Blaine a hug.] I’m glad she was patient.

She’s funny, quirky. Exactly www-www-what you wah-would guess from looking at her.

Sometimes you really can judge a book by its cover.

She asked if I-I-I was ssssssstill with you, so I guess she rrrr-rec-rec-recognized me from the dd-dd-diner.

HA! Really?

Yeah, she dih-dih-didn’t specifically mmmmention that nah-night, but she was like “Oh, I’ve seen you and your boyfriend around.”

So, you talk to her a lot?

[Blaine shrugs.] Not like all the time, or outside of class ever. Buh-uh-ut like sss-sss-sometimes.

[Kurt nods and smiles. He can tell Blaine is trying to downplay how excited he is about making a friend.] So, you just told her you stutter? Like out of nowhere?

Yeah, Chad’s all about that lately. Advertising. Telling pppp-people upfront about your spah-spah-spah-speech is ssss-ssss-supposed to take the pressure off. In theory at least. It dah-dah-doesn’t exactly www-www-www-work for mmmmmme.

When did you get so jaded about this stuff? Wasn’t that you a couple months ago, bouncing with excitement about voluntary stuttering?

Well, yeah. That’s wh-wh-wh-wh-when ssssssstuff was wwwwworking. The meh-meh-meh-methods. [Blaine clears his throat.] Nothing’s wwwwwww-ork-work-ing lately.

[Kurt nods his most sympathetic nod.] What does Chad think?

That I nah-nah-need to wwwwwork harder, pp-practice mah-more. [Blaine rolls his eyes.] That wwwwwwithout you around I-I-I-I dah-don’t talk enough.

~~~~~

A moment of Blaine

I should tell Kurt about the adult intensive class I signed up for but I feel like if it works, it’ll be a great surprise and if it doesn’t work, Kurt doesn’t need to know about my failure.

Maybe I just won’t tell him for now. I can always tell him later.

~~~~~

Perhaps we should Skype more often? Could be good practice...

Maybe.

You never want to give an inch do you?

Never. [Blaine’s eyes are shining as he tries to hold in his smile.]

You’re doing so well with it, though. [Kurt pouts.] No major blocks or anything.

Fine, yes. You’re rrrrrrr-rrrrrr-right. I had sss-sss-several mmmm-medium sssssized ... ones though.

Pfft. Hardly even tiny ones.

You’re too nah-nah-ice to mmmmme.

No such thing. Can we do this again? Next Saturday maybe?

I’m going to be be be be ice fishing neh-neh-next Saturday.

Oh! I forgot about that! One day this week then?

I’ll have to check mmmmmy wah-wah-work schedule. I-I-I-I-I-I think I’m working every day cause someone’s on vacation. And I ssss-swah-swah-witched one of mmmmmmy classes to a nah-nah-night class.

Are you being difficult for the sake of being difficult?

Me? [Blaine makes an innocent face.] Do you have any afternoons free? Or wwwwwwe could ss-sk-sk-skype on Wednesdays wwwwwwwwhen we we we we we used to IM?

Ok, that works.

Can we we we still im sssssometimes? If … I-I-I-I-I-I’m having a nah-not ssso good spah-spah-ss-peech dah-day?

Sure, we don’t always have to talk. Just because we have doesn’t mean we always have to from now on.

[Blaine smiles, relieved that Kurt is always willing to meet him halfway.] How’s Julia?

Good. We went out today. Celebrated our loneliness.

What dd-dd-did you dah-do?

It was a relatively nice day, sunny, cold, but pretty much the same as New York would be right now. So we got coffee and walked around one of the smaller parks. Pretty much just talking about what we would be doing, if we had our boyfriends with us.

What ww-ww-ww-ww-would wwwwwwe bbbbbbe dah-doing, Kurt? [Blaine smiles and raises his eyebrows suggestively.]

I don’t think we’d have this much clothing on.

[Blaine blushes, smiles, scrunches his nose, looks away.]

You pretty much just made the world’s most adorable facial expression. You looked like … too cute. I want to jump through this screen and maul you.

[Blaine’s still blushing.] We should bb-bb-bb-be able to dah-do that bbbbbby now. It’s 2015, why can’t we we we we we jump through the internet?

I think we need to work on that. You’re smart, I bet you could invent it.

[Blaine rolls his eyes.] I, I, I, I think you nah-need mmmm-mah-more than a rrrrr-rrrrr-ridiculous knowledge of vocabulary to sssss-send people through cyberspace.

How do you know until you try Blaine?

[Blaine sighs.] Alright, guess I-I-I-I-I-I’ll start writing code. You think that’s like, like, like C++ or Java?

How the hell should I know? You’re the genius. Speaking of genius, this week’s song! It’s kind of amazingly fitting, considering you recorded it and wrote the blurb before we had the talk about me being worried that you’ll change so much that I won’t be able to keep up.

I, I, I bet you’re nah-not wwwwwworried about that anymore. I’ll pah-prah-prah-ah-bably just change for the the the the worse.

Are you being mean about my poophead?

[Blaine rolls his eyes, but then smiles.] Fine. I’m nah-nah-not changing for the ww-ww-ww-worse. And I-I-I-I-I-I agree about the ssss-ssss-song. It’s like I could s-s-s-s-s-see into the future.

If you could really see into the future, then you can find a way to download me from the internet so I could come over right now.

I have a b... bah-bah-bad feeling about the dah-dah-dah-downloading people from the internet thing.

Oh yeah?

I-I-I-I just dah-don’t think it’s r-r-r-r-realistic. I dah-dah-don’t wwwwant you to get your hopes up, be-be-be-be-because I-I-I-I don’t think it’ll happen in the neh-neh-neh-next 104 days.

I see what you’re saying. Too bad.

[Blaine makes a “what are you gonna do about it?” hand gesture.] I-I-I-I-I went out for dd-dd-dd-dinner wwwwwwwith Kerry the other nah-night.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. It wah-wah-wah-was fun. She re-re-re-re-reminds mmmmme of you. Sort of.

Really?

[Blaine looks to the side, gathering his words.] She has the ssssame di-di-di-di, [Blaine shakes his head] disposition as you. Calm, kind. Open?

I thought I was snarky and bitchy, but I’ll accept those other adjectives.

Well you are ssssssna-sna-arky and b-b-b-b-b-bitchy, buh-buh-but it’s tempered b-b-b-b-by your calmness and kindness. You’re innate ineffability.

Now who’s being too nice?

It’s true! Did I-I-I-I-I-I ever tell you that … [Blaine starts blinking and gulping. No sound escaping from his lips. He can see himself in the small window in the corner. He forgot to put a post it over it. His eyelids flutter as he wills himself to speak.]

[Kurt waits patiently, knowing that this one is actually a major block.]

...nnnn. Nah. [Blaine clears his throat and shakes his head.] Sorry.

[Kurt shrugs.] No apologizing.

[Blaine rolls his eyes again.]

Also, no more eye rolling.

[Blaine laughs.] Quite the rr-rr-rr-reh-reh-rep-rimand from the guy who who who who invented eye rr-rolling.

So, what were you going to say? I’m intrigued.

[Blaine clears his throat, hoping he can get this thought out.] That nnn-nah-night, www-www-with the dd-dd-directions? I-I-I-I always mmmmmeant to tell you. [Blaine squints, feeling overwhelmed with the memories of all his various emotions from that night. He swallows.] I-I-I-I dih-dih-didn’t cry be-be-be-be-because of that guy or his duh-duh-duh-aw-ter. I cried bbbbbbecause you were so kind. To mmmme. [Blaine smiles nervously. He hates bringing up that night, but he wants Kurt to know that Kurt is kind, no matter what walls he might put up for the rest of the world.] So, you’re kind. You’re kind www-www-when it counts.

[Kurt puts his chin in hands and stares at Blaine.]

What? [All that staring makes Blaine feel self-conscious.]

If I can’t hug you, I’m just going to sit here and stare at you until you can feel my love.

All I-I-I-I feel is you ss-sta-staring at mmmmmme.

That’s my love.

No. That’s sss-staring.

Stop it. I’m showing you my love. Look at how much love is in my eyes. [Kurt moves his eyes right up the camera.]

I-I-I can’t ssssssee your eyes. It’s mmmmmostly glare.

You’re the worst. I’m trying to be all … metaphorical and romantic and you’re all “but the glare.”

Is that the beh-beh-beh-best impersonation of mmmmme you can dah-do?

Yes. It sounds just like you.

I-I-I-I’m glad I’m a w-w-w-why-why-whiny asshole in your head. [Blaine’s face betrays the fact that he’s not the least bit upset about Kurt’s impression.]

You have no poker face, Blaine. There’s amusement pouring out of your eyes. Not to mention love. Maybe even some fond exasperation.

Me! [Blaine places his hand on his chest.] I’m fondly exasperated ww-ww-with you? Never!

Sometimes, yes.

Sometimes, mmm-maybe.

Do you have any plans today?

Not rr-rr-rr-really. I-I-I-I-I figured I’d let you ss-sta-sta-tare at mmmme for as long as I could possibly sssssstand. Then mmm-may-may-maybe go hang out wwwwwith Tina for a while.

Oh! You and Tina are getting along?

Yeah! Actually... I-I-I-I-I like her a a a a lot.

I thought you would. You guys have similar dispositions.

We dah-dah-do. That mmm-mmm-made it... hard at first. I-I-I guess cause we’re boh-boh-both shy?

She used to be a lot shyer.

Sssso did I. [Blaine grins.]

Very true.

Stop sss-stah-stah-staring at mmmmme.

I can’t!

Stop it! Or... or, or. I-I-I’m covering the camera.

Fine. So what are you guys going to do tonight?

I-I-I-I-I dah-dah-don’t know. Puck took Rachel to his nana’s condo in the Poconos for the nnn-nah-nah-ight.

Why doesn’t Puck ever take us to his nana’s condo in the poconos?

I-I-I guess he just dah-dah-doesn’t love us enough Kurt.

[Kurt giggles at the wistfulness in Blaine’s voice.] So, what’s the verdict, poop? You like this more than the phone right?

[Blaine nods vigorously.] Yes. This is mmmmm-much beh-beh-better than the phone.

I knew it! I knew it would be.

You were rr-rr-right. I-I-I-I wah-was wrong. I should always r-r-r-re-remember your rules.

Yes, you should. But now you should win something.

I should!

I’ll think of something and let you know.

I-I-I always www-www-win, too, actually.

How do you figure that?

I-I-I www-win just be-be-be-because you’re my fella.

Oh! Cheesy Blaine! Very nice, but so very cheesy!

I-I-I know. Buh-buh-ut you love mmmme for my cheese.

I do, you’re right.

And I-I-I-I love you even though you insist on sss-stah-staring at mmm-me. [Blaine can’t help but look at his hands.] It’s rrrr-rrrr-really wah-wah-weird to be be be be able to feel ssss-ssss-someone staring at at at you through a computer.

Can you stare at me, Blaine? Please?

[Blaine glances up, eyes curious, but then sweeps his lids back down.]

I just really miss your eyes.

Ok. [Blaine blinks a lot, but he looks at the camera and stays like that.]

Even if we can’t jump through the internet, it’s sort of awesome that we can at least see each other.

[Blaine nods and smiles.]

Ok, you can stop. You’re right, that does start to get a little creepy.

I ww-win!

You win.

[Blaine does a little happy dance in his seat.]

What was that?

Mmmmm-my chair dah-dah-dance of joy.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Do you want to stop talking?

[Blaine shrugs.] Not rr-rr-rr-really. Do you have anything you nah-need to dd-dd-dah-do? Am I-I-I-I-I-I keeping you from anything?

Not at all. I should eat dinner maybe.

And I-I-I should eat... buh-buh-br-br-breakfast.

Blaine isn’t like 1 in the afternoon there?

Yes, buh-buh-but I-I-I wah-was grooming mmmmmyself for a very long time this mm-mah-mah-morning.

Your hair looks like you’ve been electrocuted.

Ah buh-but, look at mm-mm-my toenails. [Blaine contorts himself so he can show Kurt his foot.]

[Kurt squints.] Are your toes... Bahama Mama red?

Yes! For you! For Valentine’s Dah-dah-day.

I just. I can’t with you. You’re so...

Whimsical?

Amazing.

[Blaine giggles.] Or mmmm-maybe I’m just wah-weird.

[Kurt wrinkles his nose and shakes his head definitively.] I’m sticking with amazing. I guess we better go eat.

No! Let mm-mm-mm-me just rrrrrrun and get a b-b-bay-bagel and come bb-bb-back!

Really? You want to talk more?

Yes! And you go and get sss-sss-something. I-I-I-I have all dah-day.

[Kurt almost glows, he’s so happy.] Ok, I’ll meet you back here in 20?

YES!

Love you, see in a few.

Love you, too.

~~~~~

To: Kurt, From: Blaine
Date: Fri, Feb 20, 11:48 pm
Subject: This week’s password

I decided to give you this week’s password early, since I’ll be away and who knows what time I’ll be back on Sunday.

I’m home now and things are really, shockingly good. Cooper’s staying over tonight because we’re leaving like crazy early in the morning. I should really be asleep already.

Anyway, I’ll let you know how it goes.

This week’s password is: youweretheface. :)

Love you.