Hello?

Hey, Kurt!

Hello, Rachel. [He’s not surprised to be getting a call from her. He’s actually surprised it didn’t happen sooner.]

How’s it going?

Cut the small talk. I know why you’re calling.

You do? How could you possibly?

[Kurt feels like he can hear her batting her eyelashes innocently.] You’re calling to yell at me for being mean to Blaine.

Um. False.

I know he must have told you that I was an asshole to him.

He actually didn’t say much about it, to me or anyone really, I don’t think. I know that something’s wrong.

Oh.

So I’m calling to check up on you, not yell at you.

[Kurt sighs.] I figured everyone would be on his side.

For starters, there are no sides. For seconders, I’m friends with both of you.

Seconders?

I’m sticking with that word. It’s useful and it should exist.

[Kurt smiles. He can’t help it. Rachel tends to cheer him up no matter what.] I miss you, Rach.

I miss you too, Kurt. Why didn’t we talk much while you’ve been away?

I don’t know. I think it was my fault. I was trying to avoid being sadder than I was.

[Rachel hums non-committally.]

[He’s quiet for a second.] So is the point where the interrogation begins? Is this when you start asking the hard hitting questions?

I don’t know. Is “are you ok” a hard hitting question?

Honestly? I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I didn’t mean to go off on him. I just... I’m tired of missing him?

Why did you go off on him then?

You really don’t know? He didn’t tell you guys?

Well, he told Matt and Kerry. But I haven’t talked to him at all myself.

You... haven’t talked to him? Since Wednesday? You don’t know if he’s ok?

I’m sure he’s ok.

[Kurt sighs.] Are you going to see him soon?

I’ll see him today. We’re all going to help him and Matt move. They got an apartment a couple blocks from here.

See? This is my problem. He never even told me they found an apartment!

But why is that a problem? Maybe it just didn’t come up?

He never tells me anything! He never tells important things, like about getting an apartment or when he gets a complaint lodged against him at work or that he’s going to group speech therapy. But he also doesn’t really tell me unimportant things.

So then, what do you guys even talk about?

Well, we talk about big stuff, like stuff with his dad and speech. I don’t know. We talk about classes and we talked a lot about how my trip hasn’t been exactly what I expected.

That sounds like conversation. I think you need to explain how this started.

I guess it all started with me going away. I know you know I was worried. But it didn’t get any better. But I didn’t really feel like talking about it, to you or him or anyone really. So instead I let it … grow. Fester. And then Blaine started telling me about all these friends he was making and guys who were hitting on him...

One guy, Kurt. It was only one guy. And it wasn’t exactly the scene you’ve built it up to be in your head.

You saw it?! [Kurt’s indignant.]

Yes. I was working that night, but it was hardly anything.

But Blaine talked to him! And then he talked to him again a different time!

Um. Yeah. But I feel like you’re looking at this the wrong way. Blaine talked to him.

And then he bragged about it.

He bragged about getting hit on?

Well, he claims he was bragging about the talking thing.

Kurt.

Rachel.

I’m not taking sides, but I have to say that I think you might be acting a tad unfair on this point. I can tell you the time I saw Blaine talk to this guy, it was entirely innocent. He quite obviously wasn’t interested in the guy. He didn’t even know he was being hit on. I bet it never even would have come up, except that we were all teasing him about it afterwards.

You guys teased Blaine? He... you didn’t hurt his feelings, right? [Kurt’s mind goes to an image of bashful Blaine, face tensed and blinking, while a roomful of Kurt’s friends tease him. Kurt shakes the image away.]

Of course not! He was laughing too.

So, what else happened?

He was worried you’d be mad at him. That’s why he decided to tell you about it.

There was other stuff he should have told me about and didn’t though.

Hold that thought. I feel like I still don’t know how this fight started though. You picked a fight with him in May because he talked to a guy in March?

Oh. Well, no. You know that video you sent me?

Yes...

You filmed Blaine talking to a guy.

Yeah, Puck’s roommate, Scottie.

I thought that was Justin.

Ohhhh. Damn. That sucks. Justin wasn’t there.

Yeah, I didn’t know that.

I’ve never even met Justin.

Again, with me not knowing these things and building them up in my head.

And Scottie’s really handsy.

Yes. Yes he is.

Oh, God. That’s terrible Kurt. I’m sorry about that. I thought you knew Scottie and wouldn’t think twice about him talking to Blaine.

What are you sorry about? I’m the one who’s been in a blinding, seething, jealous rage for the past 2 months and never bothered to get any of the information clarified. So instead of knowing that Blaine wasn’t flirting with some other guy in my own apartment, I made wild assumptions. And then called him on the phone...

[Rachel can’t help but interrupt.] His most hated form of communication...

… and backed him into the a corner.

Oh, Kurt. [Rachel’s voice is slightly judgmental. Perhaps fondly judgmental.]

See you should be on his side!

Oh, Kurt. [Rachel’s voice is bordering on sympathetic this time.]

I made him block so badly Rachel. I wouldn’t let him talk. I just kept yelling and getting more and more angry. And then I thought he was lying to me about having class, so I yelled at him more and I swore and he was trying to talk and … I wouldn’t let him.

I didn’t know any of this. This is...

It’s bad, Rachel. It’s bad. He should be so mad at me.

Hmm. [Rachel doesn’t want to agree, doesn’t want to sound like she’s taking sides, but she’s finding it hard to keep her mouth shut.]

Anyway. He hung up on me.

Wow.

I know. And then he wrote me an email. Apologizing for hanging up and explaining that the guy he was talking to was Puck’s roommate. And then he told me that he was going to group speech therapy, that was the class he had that night. He said he was going to surprise me with how much better he sounds when I got home. [Kurt sucks in a breath.] I am a dickhead.

Aw, Kurt. I don’t think you’re a dickhead.

Kind of I am. It’s all my fault.

So, if you think this is all your fault, why aren’t talking to him?

I feel like I need time.

Time for what?

To think. To stop being mad. To stop feeling so guilty. To have fun for the next couple weeks.

Are you having fun?

Yes and no. But I know if I talk to him I’ll just fall into the same stupid mindset that I’ve been in all semester. And I’d rather just wait and talk it all out with him when I get home. Or maybe he’ll forgive me and we won’t ever have to bring it up again.

I know he’ll forgive you, but you’re still going to have to talk it out.

I know. [Kurt sighs.] When we were im-ing he really stood up for himself. It would have been refreshing, if it wasn’t my fault he had to stand up for himself in the first place. He told me I’m never allowed to talk to him like that again. That he can forgive me this time because of the circumstances, but that I really hurt his feelings.

Well, I’m sort of proud of him, too then. I’m impressed that he spoke up about it.

I really backed him into a corner. I said that he never talks when it’s important and that talking isn’t actually that hard.

Oh, Kurt! [This time Rachel doesn’t even try to disguise her disappointment.] That’s like... a really terrible thing to say to Blaine. I’m sorry. But that was dick. I’m not saying you’re a dickhead, but that was a dick thing to say.

I swear I meant talk as a synonym for communicate!

But on the phone it doesn’t translate that way.

I know. Consider me chastised.

I wish I could give you a hug.

I wish you could too. When you see Blaine later, can you give him a hug for me? Don’t tell him it’s from me.

I’ll give him a nice tight one. I promise.

Thank you.

Is there anything you want me to tell him? Or anything specific you don’t want me to tell him? I have a feeling I might need to have a heart to heart with him too. You boys are so alike in so many ways.

If you think I said something that’s really pertinent to the conversation, tell him. No matter what. I can’t talk to him right now. I just can’t. But if you talk to him, and you feel strongly about something that he should know, I trust you. I would have said all of this to him.

Then why don’t you?

Rachel. I can’t right now. I fucked up. We need time.

Don’t beat yourself up over it.

I’m trying not to. But I think I sort of deserve to wallow in my guilt for a bit. It’s my punishment.

You’re kind of punishing him too though.

I never said it was a logical punishment.

[Rachel can’t help but smile at that.] I almost understand Kurt. I promise. But I should go, it’s just about time to help them move. Have fun on your trip.

Alright. I love you, Rach.

I love you, too, Kurt. Call me if you need me ok? Anytime, doesn’t matter.

Thanks. Bye.

Bye.

~~~~~

Blaine’s puttering around his apartment on Thursday afternoon. Classes are over, exams are over. Given all the variables, he actually did pretty well, grade-wise. He doesn’t have work today. He’s basically just trying to keep his mind off his problems with Kurt, when there’s a knock at the door.

He peeks through the peephole and is surprised to see Rachel standing there for two reasons. One, their building has a buzzer system, and two, he figured she’d be on Kurt’s side. He had seen her on Sunday while they were moving and she’d given Blaine a nice hug, but he figured... Actually he’s not sure what he figured. It was a really nice hug. He just assumed that she wouldn’t really talk to him until he and Kurt made up. Eventually. Hopefully.

He swings open the door.

“Hi,” she says with a broad smile.

“Hi,” he says tentatively.

“I snuck in as someone was leaving.” Well, that explains surprise number one.

“Okay. Do you wah-wah-want to come in?” he asks.

“Actually, I’m here to see if you want to go out. I need to go to Target. I thought maybe you’d like to come.”

“Um. Sure.” He pauses and looks around.

“What?” Rachel asks, sensing his discomfort.

“I feel like you shouldn’t um, shouldn’t um, b-be here.”

“Because you’re mad at Kurt?”

“No, be-be-be-be-because Kurt’s mad at me,” Blaine says soberly.

“What do you mean?” Rachel asks, as Blaine gestures then for her to come inside. They might as well talk this out, before they go anywhere. Rachel enters the apartment and they both sit on the couch. Rachel with her body turned fully in Blaine’s direction.

Blaine isn’t facing her, feels like he can’t quite face her. So he sits facing straight ahead and stares at this hands, lacing and unlacing his fingers. “Isn’t this like b-b-bray-breaking some kind of friend code? Hanging out ww-ww-with mmmme? I’m pretty sure I’m the enemy or ss-something.”

“Do you really think Kurt would be mad at me for hanging out with you?”

Blaine shrugs uncomfortably. He feels like Kurt could be mad at anyone for almost anything at this point.

“I’m your friend too, Blaine. I want to hang out with you.” She pauses, unsure as to how to explain herself further. She decides to just jump right in. “I talked to Kurt the other day.”

“You did?” Blaine wants to ask so many questions, but he knows he doesn’t want Rachel to betray Kurt’s trust. And he knows he only has 8 more days to get through and then hopefully he’ll get to see and talk to Kurt and they’ll be able to work everything out. But knowing Rachel has spoken to Kurt, makes him seem so close. He squeezes his eyes shut for a second, momentarily overcome by how much he misses having even a tiny shred of communication with Kurt.

Rachel nods.

Blaine sucks in a breath. “I mm-miss him so muh-much.” His chin quivers and his chest aches with what he can only assume is longing. He hopes it’s longing. Blaine’s been worried that what that ache in his chest really signifies is the end of his relationship with Kurt.

“Hey, hey,” Rachel says softly, putting a hand on Blaine’s arm.

“It’s like. It’s like I miss him and I’m m-m-m-mad at him at the ssss-same time. And I’m mm-mm-mad at him be, be-cause I mmmm-miss him or something. Or maybe I’m mad at myself be-be-because I-I-I-I mm-miss him, even though I’m mm-mm-mad at him.” He shuts his eyes and feels a lump growing in his throat. “I’m sorry. That doesn’t mm-make any sss-sense.”

Rachel rubs his arm soothingly and somehow that’s what breaks him. He hasn’t cried about the fight he had with Kurt, he was close the night on the phone, but that was frustration more than legitimate sadness. But he can’t hold it in another second. Rachel draws him into her arms and he lets his tears flow. She rubs his back and he gets himself under control in a minute or two. He already feels better.

When he pulls back, Rachel asks, “Are you okay?”

He laughs bitterly and wipes at his eyes. “I’ve b-b-been beh-better.”

Rachel smiles kindly.

“I’m just r-r-r-r-really tired of missing Kurt.”

“He said the same exact thing about you.” Then she curls up next to him and puts her head on his shoulder. “But he’s coming home soon.”

“I’m sssss-cared.” The phrase is out of his mouth before he really even has a chance to think it over. But the relief of saying those two words is almost immediate.

“Of what?”

“Of s-s-s-s-seeing him and still beh-beh-being mm-mad.” This is the thought that’s been niggling in the back of his mind since they stopped talking. This is the thought that he’s been afraid to even look full in the face. This is the thought that could potentially ruin everything.

“Are you mad right now?”

Blaine rubs a hand across his face. “I’m a little angry. I-I-I-I... I-I-I d-d-d-don’t like what he ss-said to me. I never expected him to, to, to talk to mmmmme like that.” Blaine sighs. “Buh-buh-ut on the other hand, he apologized. And it w-w-w-w-was the heat of the mo-mo-mo-moment... Did he tell you wha-wha-what he sssss-said?”

“About talking not being that hard?”

“That. B-b-ut what actually pissed mmm-me off was that he ss-said, he said, I-I-I-I can always talk when it dah-dah-dah-doesn’t mmmm-matter.” He shakes his head. “That’s nah-not fair though. I-I-I want to talk all the time. I-I-I-I have ss-so mmm-much shit in mmmmy head that I, I, I wah-wah-want to say and so many ideas and thoughts and everything. I’m happy when any of it w-w-w-will come out.”

He starts blinking. He’s getting emotional again, but he really wants to explain this to Rachel. Blaine hates getting emotional these days. It messes with his speech and ruins the little bit of fluency he’s been gaining. But he presses on.

“I-I-I thought he wwwwas happy, too. I-I-I thought he just liked me, loved me for mmm-me, whether I I I can talk about the important stuh-stuff or not.”

“He says he meant talk as in communicate.”

“He sss-said the sss-same thing to mmmmme. It’s nah-nah-not that I don’t b-b-b-b-believe him... When he ssss-said it, it felt like he mmm-meant it. It felt like he wah-wah-wah-wanted his words to sssslap me.”

He looks at Rachel, meeting her eye for the first time since they sat down.

“And they did. They hurt mm-me.”

“That happens sometimes, with words,” Rachel says.

“And I-I-I know I messed up too. And that mm-mm-maybe my ww-words were hurting him, for a long time, buh-buh-buh-ut that wasn’t my intent. Intent is important.” Blaine looks at Rachel and she’s nodding.

“Intent is important. And I know for a fact that Kurt didn’t intend to hurt you. I think he was just … trying to get your attention. To make you listen.”

Now it’s Blaine’s turn to nod.

“I-I-I want to forgive him.”

He swallows thickly, his throat still constricting with emotion, but he feels better. Talking to Rachel has without a doubt made him feel better.

“Then you will,” she says, a small smile working at her lips. The boys will get through this, of that Rachel is sure. Talking to Blaine has really shed light on the issue for her. And if they don’t resolve it themselves after reuniting, she might mediate. Because even if they’re not quite on the same page, they’re at least in the same chapter.

“You think that’s how it w-w-w-works?” Blaine asks honestly unsure.

“I think it can. If you love someone enough.” She gives his hand a light squeeze. She knows it’s a cliche sentiment, but it seems like more than anything Blaine is looking for permission to forgive Kurt. “Do you think you still love Kurt enough?”

Blaine smiles, his lip quivers just a tiny bit, and he takes a deep breath. “I love Kurt mm-more than anything else in the whole w-w-w-world.”

“Then everything will be fine,” Rachel states definitively. She draws Blaine into another hug and they sit like that a little longer.

Then they go to Target, where Blaine buys a whimsically printed shower curtain to cheer himself up.

He goes home and hangs his new shower curtain and comes to terms with the idea of letting go of whatever anger he has left about his fight with Kurt.

When Matt gets home later and heads into the bathroom, Blaine’s general mood is probably the best it’s been in a week. And when Matt exclaims “A robot shower curtain!” Blaine can’t help but laugh.

Everything is going to be fine.