Kurt tried to make himself somewhat presentable on the way to the hospital, but every time he thought about how awful hed been another tear would spill over. He had no idea why he was going to the hospital. Blaine probably hated him now and didnt wouldnt want to see him, and Kurt wouldnt blame him. Hed said some terrible, hurtful things to Blaine and now he felt like scum.

How could he have thought that his best friend, the guy to drove to McKinley only days after meeting him to confront his bully, would have said those things about him. He literally hated himself for believing his ex-boyfriend. What an idiot. How could he have taken Jeremys side? He didnt even care about him. He was just trying so hard to get over his feelings for Blaine that hed have believed just about anything.

Kurt shivered as he thought about what could have happened if Blaine hadnt overheard Jeremy. Mr Reins glanced over then and turned up the heat in the car. Hed been quiet until now, but as they pulled into the hospital, he spoke.

"Mr Hummel, I know you and Mr Anderson had some pretty heated words and I can tell you are beating yourself up over what you said, but right now, you need to go in there and just be there for him. Im sure hes hurting over your last..." he started to say conversation, but changed his mind, "exchange, and once hes out of the woods, you two can deal with that. But what is most important now is just being there to support him. Believe me, hell be happy you are here."

With that, Mr Reins exited the car and turned toward the visitors entrance of the hospital, stopping to wait for Kurt to follow. Once inside, they were directed to the third floor, surgery wing waiting area, where they found David and Wes.

The two friends had been sitting close, not talking but trying to pull strength from each other, when Wes looked up and saw Kurt and the headmaster heading their way. He nudged David, who looked up as well. Neither boy spoke for a moment, just taking in Kurts appearance.

Kurt felt the intensity of the two boys gazes and immediately dropped his chin to his chest and stopped walking. Mr Reins didnt notice and continued forward. "Mr Montgomery, how is he?" He said, putting his hand out to shake the younger boys.

Wes stood up and took the offered hand. "Mr Reins, sir, um, we dont know. Hes still in surgery." His voice shook and it was evident to everyone that hed been crying.

David stood up as well and offered his hand. "Sir." The headmaster shook it before addressing Wes again.

"How long has he been in there? Have they given you any updates?" His voice took on an authoritative tone.

"Its only been a couple of hours, and they told us they probably wouldnt be able to give us progress reports because they hoped the surgery would be fairly short, depending on what they found."

The reality of the situation hit Kurt like a freight train and he clapped his hand over his mouth and ran for the nearest bathroom. Mr Reins saw movement and out of the corner of his eye caught Mr Hummel running down the hall. He turned back to the boys in front of him.

"Mr Hummel is not dealing with this very well."

David let out a snort and Wes turned to glare at him. "Is he..."

"Yes, hes been getting physically sick when discussing Mr Andersons injuries." He said. "Poor kid." He muttered under his breath. Wes caught it and gave a small smile.

"Its not surprising." David said.

"Yeah well," Wes continued. "He loves him."

"Theyve both been so stupid." David chimed in.

All three were nodding their heads in agreement when Kurt reappeared, paler than ever. He hesitated for a moment, then threw himself into Wess arms. David came up behind and the sandwiched the younger boy in a hug, while Kurt sobbed into Wess shoulder.

Mr Reins stood back and watched as the two older boys comforted their friend, and hed never felt more proud of his students. Not wanting to interrupt, he turned and disappeared down the hall in search of a coffee machine. He figured they could all use a little pick me up.

When Kurt began to calm down, Wes and David led him over to a small sofa, all three squeezing in together, needing the closeness. Once they sat down, Kurt looked at Wes guiltily.

"This is all my fault. Oh God, I am so sorry." He began to sob again.

Wes stopped his rant. "Hey, this is NOT your fault. That asshole Jeremy did this, not you. You couldnt have known."

"But...he probably hates me now. I was so mean and hurtful. God, Im so stupid." Tears were streaming down Kurts face and he made no move to stop them.

"Blaine could never hate you." Wes said reassuringly.

"Yeah," David added. "Hes been awful jealous and has missed spending time with you, but he doesnt hate you."

"You dont understand." He sobbed. "The things I said..."

Wes made Kurt look at him. "What do you mean? Did you talk to Blaine?" Kurt nodded and looked down, embarrassed.

David was having none of that and forced Kurt around to look at him. "When did you talk to him? Could you tell he was hurt? Why didnt you help him? Didnt you see his eye or his cheek?"

"I...I..."

"David." Wess voice held a warning. "Go ahead Kurt. Tell us what happened."

"I...I never meant it, you have to believe me. I didnt mean it. I was just so mad and Jeremy lied to me and told me Blaine said some terrible things and..." The words were pouring out of his mouth fast that Wes and David were having trouble understanding. "I told him to leave me alone and that we were no longer friends and that I never, oh God, that I never wanted to see him again." He put his face in his hands and sobbed. "Its my fault and now, oh God, hes hurt and might not..." After a moment, through the tears and hysteria, he mumbled into his hands, "And he might die never knowing how much I love him."

Wes pulled Kurt to him encircling him in his arms again and David held onto his back. Both Wes and David knew Blaine was in love with Kurt and assumed Kurt felt the same, but hearing him say it out loud made them both happy and sad.

The three were still there crying when Mr Reins returned from getting coffee. He was pleased to see the boys still supporting Kurt. They could have easily been upset with him, but he knew they could see how bad Kurt was hurting.

He cleared his throat and the boys sat moved back a little, but still sitting close enough for the comfort they all needed. Mr Reins said nothing at first, just sat the four coffees on the table in front of them. Wes looked up and thanked him, still keeping an arm around Kurt. Finally, the headmaster spoke.

"Mr Montgomery, thank you for handling everything. Im not sure what happened after Mr Anderson left my office, but I instructed him to go to the nurse, although he gave no indication his injuries were this bad. I thought it was just his face that needed stitching up."

"None of us knew, sir." Wes replied, rubbing Kurts back in assurance.

As he was about to reply, the doors opened behind him and Wes shot up out of his seat, startling everyone. The doctor approached them with a hesitant smile.

"Mr Anderson is a very lucky man. One of the punches he received perforated his spleen and he was slowly bleeding into his stomach. If you two wouldnt have found him when you did, hed have bled to death in a few hours." There was an audible sob from behind Wes, and David pulled Kurt closer, trying to soothe the younger boy. "Luckily, we were able to find the problem and fix it and your friend will make a full recovery. Hell be staying with us for the next two days, then will have two weeks of recovery time, but after that, hell have no restriction. Will his parents be arriving soon?" He questioned, looking from Wes to the headmaster and back.

"Im not sure, sir." Wes answered. "Ill contact them with the news and will let you know." He sighed, then quietly added, "But I wouldnt count on it."

The doctor nodded and shook Wess hand before turning to Mr Reins and doing the same. He nodded to the two boys still on the couch and turned to leave.

"Excuse me." Came a quiet voice from the couch. Everyone turned to look at Kurt, waiting. "W-when can we see him?"

"Well, the policy is family only, but Ill make an exception in this case. Unfortunately, because its so late, we cannot allow anyone in until tomorrow. Hell be under for the night anyway."

"Sir, Id like to stay with him, if thats alright? Since I am his legal guardian." Wes requested.

"Certainly." The doctor responded. "Hes still in recovery, but should be moved shortly. Ill have the nurses set you up a cot, and have one of them come get you when you can go back."

"Thank you sir. For everything." Wess eyes were moist when he shook the doctors hand once again.

It took a lot of convincing for David and Mr Reins to get Kurt to leave, but they finally managed. David left the car for Wes, riding back to campus with Kurt and the Headmaster.

When they were dropped off, David offered to let Kurt sleep in Wess bed, knowing he needed support, but Kurt declined. What he really wanted was to be by himself. He wandered the halls for a while, passing his room and somehow ended up in front of Blaines door. He turned the knob and the door opened. He figured in the confusion earlier nobody thought to lock it.

When he walked in and saw Blaines bed and the mess, he fell to his knees, sobbing. He put his arms around himself and rocked back and forth, the pain of coming so close to losing Blaine catching up to him full force.

He allowed himself a good fifteen minutes of pity before pulling himself up off the floor and setting to work. He stripped Blaines bed and bagged his sheets before silently making his way to the laundry room. It was just after curfew, but he knew even if he got caught he wouldnt get in trouble.

Once back in the room, he set to task, cleaning the remainder of the vomit off the floor and bed before putting on a clean sheet set. He then sprayed an air freshener before heading back to the laundry room to switch the sheets over to the dryer.

He returned to the room to wait the 30 minutes it would take for the sheets to dry. He was exhausted, but didnt want to sit down, knowing hed forget the laundry, so he moved to Blaines desk to organize the papers strewn all over. Blaine was a very neat person, but when he was working on a particularly stressful assignment, he became a slob.

So Kurt spent the next few minutes going through Blaines papers, obviously notes for an English assignment, trying to put them in some sort of order. It was underneath his English book that he saw a paper with his name on it. He was surprised, and a bit curious. All the other papers laying around were scribbles about poets and playwrights, mainly Shakespeare, whom it looked like Blaines paper was mainly about.

This one was different. He could only see the top part from where it was sticking out, but it appeared to be a letter...written to him. He froze and his heart started beating faster. Why did Blaine write him a letter? When did he write it? Should he read it? All these thoughts were floating around in Kurts head and he began to get a little dizzy, so he sat down in the desk chair and just stared at the corner of the paper.

The writing was not as frantic as the writing on his notes, but it wasnt in Blaines normal perfect penmanship either. It seemed a little shaky. Oh God, what if he wrote it after Kurt yelled at him. Kurt didnt even notice the tears that had started again. It was only after the writing he was staring at became blurry that he wiped his eyes. He needed to see what was on that paper. His shoulders were tense and his hand shaky as he slid the paper out from under the book. He glanced at the words through tear filled eyes, nothing coming into focus.

He sat in the chair holding the letter but not reading it. The paper shook as he tried to focus on the words, but he eventually gave up and rested his hand, still holding the letter, on his leg. He leaned his head back and took a deep breath. Thats when he noticed Blaines sweatshirt. It was behind his back, hanging on the chair and his head was leaning on it as he tried to control his emotions. He turned his head slightly so that his nose was next to the fabric, and he took a deep breath in.

A sob escaped him when he breathed in Blaines scent. His head automatically turned further, burying his entire face in the sweatshirt as he cried. How could he have been so stupid. The only reason he was even dating Jeremy was to get over Blaine, but he knew now that would never possible. He probably knew it then, but wasnt ready to admit it to himself yet. Blaine meant everything to him and when he rejected him after Valentines Day, Kurt was hurt and just wanted to forget everything Blaine made him feel.

They went back to being friends, and Kurt even made an effort to not act different with Blaine, but after he went through his sexuality issues with Rachel, Kurt couldnt take it anymore. He slowly began distancing himself from Blaine. He tried to make sure it wasnt obvious, but as much time as the two boys normally spent together, it was inevitable that Blaine would notice.

Unfortunately, Blaine was not the only one that noticed. It was right after their fight in the coffee shop about Blaines identity crisis that Jeremy started flirting with Kurt. And of course, he loved the attention, even though he wished it had been Blaine. So when Jeremy asked Kurt out, he accepted right away. He needed to distance himself from Blaine and Jeremy was a good distraction. He had hoped to make Blaine jealous in the process, but Blaine acted exactly the same around him, which hurt.

He had been so stupid, though to believe Jeremy. He didnt have any real feelings for Jeremy but did like the attention. What he didnt like was how recently Jeremy was trying to move their physical relationship along too much. Kurt felt very uncomfortable with any form of touching or caressing.

The only person he felt comfortable even hugging or touching him was Blaine, and that had surprised him. From the moment they met and Blaine took his hand, leading him down the hall to the Warblers performance, he knew. His body welcomed Blaines touch. It just felt so natural, even if it was a casual touch, it felt like home.

But whenever Jeremy touched him, he flinched. Sure, hed let Jeremy kiss him, but always with closed lips. The first time hed kissed him, hed had a flashback of Kurofsky. Jeremy had grabbed his cheeks just like Kurofsky had and he froze. Jeremy wasnt as forceful, so he allowed himself to relax a little, but still wouldnt open his mouth.

Jeremy had tried to get Kurt to be more physical lately, pinning him to the couch while they were trying to watch a movie, and trying to kiss his neck and give him a hickey. The thought of anyone doing that to him made him want to throw up, so hed always push Jeremy off. He could see how frustrated Jeremy had been with him, and honestly hed thought about breaking it off with him because of how uncomfortable hed been lately.

But after hed shown up at Kurts door with a black eye and busted lip telling him that Blaine had done it, Kurt was enraged. How could Blaine do that? He felt sorry for Jeremy and was touched when he said he was sticking up for Kurt. There was a part of Kurt deep down that knew Jeremy wasnt being truthful, but he wanted to believe him so bad. It felt nice having someone interested in him that he was willing to believe anything.

And look where it got him. His best friend and the boy he loved more than anything in the world almost died because he was defending Kurt against his so called boyfriend. And Kurt told him he never wanted to see him again. Oh God, how had things gotten so screwed up? And now, he had this letter in his hand that he knew he needed to read, but was too scared. What if Blaine told him he never really cared about him and was glad they werent going to be friends anymore? Kurt knew he would never survive that.

Needing a distraction, he got up from the chair quickly and tossed the note onto the bed and turned toward the door, intent on going to retrieve the sheets from the laundry room. He paused a moment, then reached his arm behind him, grabbing the sweatshirt off the back of the chair and pulled it over his head. He closed his eyes for a moment and put his arms around himself, trying to imagine Blaines arms instead. He took another deep breath, to breathe Blaine in, and made his way downstairs quietly.

When he returned to the room, he felt calmer, the walk doing him some good. Of course, it could also be that he was wrapped up nice and warm in Blaines favorite sweatshirt and surrounded by his manly scent.

After putting the clean sheets away in Blaines closet, he turned back toward the bed, and the note that awaited him there. He took a few hesitant steps, picked up the note and sat down on the bed to read it.

Kurt,

First I want to say how truly sorry I am. I really screwed up. I shouldnt have attacked Jeremy like I did. I should have known that youd believe him. He is your boyfriend after all.

And its ok, I understand. Ive been awful to you and I hurt you too many times. Its sad to say, but honestly, it wasnt until you started dating Jeremy that I realized how I truly felt, and by then I knew Id lost the best thing I could have ever had. I was just too naive and stupid to see it then.

Im just so sorry. I knew youd be upset, but hearing you say our friendship was over killed me. I honestly think Ill die if I cant be a part of your life somehow. Even just as friends. I love you so much Kurt, and Im so fucking sorry that it took me this long to figure it out.

And now Ive lost you. Even just writing that down makes my heart hurt. I really hope that you can forgive me. Im not sure what Jeremy told you to make you hate me so much, but I promise you that I was only defending you. He must have said something really awful, though for you to threaten to finish the job. Believe me, I know not to mess with an angry Kurt Hummel.

Seriously, Kurt, I dont know what I can do to repair our screwed up friendship, but I hope that one day you can forgive me and will let me be a part of your life again. You are a part of me, Kurt. I know weve only know each other for a few months, but to me, it feels like youve always been there. And now youre gone and my heart literally hurts.

Please believe me when I say that I am sorry and that I really do love you.

Now and forever.

Blaine