The next morning Kurt was up early and reached for his phone automatically, checking for any messages. There were none. He tried not to be too disappointed by this, but wasnt able to squash the feeling that hed messed up last night. He really tried to understand Blaines reasoning of not seeing each other for a few days, but he couldnt help but think it was just Blaines way of running away again.

And now, here he was, obsessively checking his phone every few minutes to see if Blaine had texted him like he promised the previous evening. So Kurt puttered around the apartment, making coffee, trying to read the paper, then finally going in to take a shower. All in all, hed only killed an hour of time, but with each passing moment, he was getting more and more worried at the radio silence he was getting.

With every moment that passed with no contact, Kurt became more and more angry. How could he have been so stupid? Letting Blaine back into his life, into his heart? He swore he wasnt going to do this again, yet here he was, still waiting. Thats when Kurt decided he was done moping. If Blaine didnt want to contact him, then fine. He turned off his phone then and left the apartment to get some air.

When Kurt was feeling down, he loved to wander the streets of the city, occasionally stopping in random shops that caught his eye and discovering new places to get coffee. That is how he found himself at a random coffee shop hours later, realizing he was hungry, as well as thirsty. He was surprised when he realized it was already two in the afternoon.

Then he remembered he was supposed to have lunch with Rachel today. Shit, he mumbled under his breath after realizing hed turned off his phone. When the screen finally came on, it lit up with message after message, the device vibrating over and over as the messages loaded.

He decided to forgo the messages to call Rachel. She was probably freaking out right now. Yep.

"Oh my God, Kurt. Where are you? Weve been worried sick! Are you ok? Did something happen? Why havent you been answering your phone? Did..."

"Rachel, slow down." Kurt said, finally interrupting the frantic ramblings of his roommate. He heard her take a couple of shaky breaths before speaking again. "Im fine. I just took one of my contemplating walks. I turned my phone off before I left and forgot about it, and then just lost track of time."

"God, Kurt. How many times have I told you that you cant just turn your phone off like that. Nobody has been able to get ahold of you and..." she let out a small sob, making his stomach drop.

"Rachel, Im so sorry you were worried, but Im really fine." His voice betrayed him, though.

"Ok, please explain to me why you felt like you needed to take one of your contemplating walks, and why in the hell you thought it was a good idea for you to turn off your phone?" Now she was angry. "You usually only take those walks when Blaine ignored you, and I know for a fact thats not the case this time."

"Rachel," he sighed. Then he realized what she had said and his head snapped up. "What do you mean you know thats not the case this time?" He asked, gripping the phone tightly.

"Well, considering hes been here with me, and is just as worried about you as I am..."

"WHAT? What do you mean hes there? Its after two. He is supposed to be taking his final right now." Kurt was practically yelling now, garnering him looks from other customers sitting near him in the small coffee shop.

"Well, when I couldnt get ahold of you, I called him. Woke him up, actually. Apparently hed been up all night studying, so it was a good thing I called, but when I asked him if hed talked to you and he said not since last night, I really became worried. I tried to downplay it, but he could tell something wasnt right, so he called his professor and rescheduled his exam. Then he came over here." She paused for a minute to let this sink in. "Weve been calling and texting you for hours, Kurt." Her voice was suddenly soft and vulnerable again. "He even went to your favorite shops in the area to look for you, and would text me with updates."

Kurts stomach dropped and he felt like the lowest person on the planet. If hed just given Blaine a little time, and not jumped to conclusions they wouldnt be in this mess. He knew he was going to have to start trusting Blaine, but how could he get over his fear that Blaine was going to just keep leaving him? And now he was missing his final because he was worried and had been out running around trying to find him. God, he was an idiot.

"C-can I talk to him, Rach?" He asked, his voice shaky.

"Hes not actually here right now. Shit, I need to text him and tell him I found you. Hold on." He heard movement and knew she was exiting the phone screen and texting Blaine. While he waited for her to return to the call, he got up from his seat, throwing his now bitter tasting coffee away and began the long walk home. "Sorry about that. Where are you?"

"What?" Kurt asked, surprised at the question.

"Blaine. He wants to know where you are."

"Oh, Im on my way back home now. Should be there in about fifteen minutes, I think. Ill keep my phone on now, ok?" Kurt said, trying to make her feel better.

"Thats good, but where exactly are you?" She asked again.

"I dont know." He paused for a moment and looked up at the signs. "Im on 23rd and Park. Like I said, it will probably take me about fifteen minutes to so before Im back. Look Rachel, I really am sorry." He said sincerely.

"I know you are, but you cant let this happen again. We were worried sick. I was ready to call your dad." Rachel admitted.

"Oh God, that would have been bad. I promise, no more turning off my phone, no matter how upset I am."

"Why were you upset? What prompted this disappearance, anyway? Was it Blaine again? Because you should have seen him. He was frantic. Ive never seen him lose his cool like that. Hes usually so calm."

"No, it wasnt Blaine. At least, not really. It was me. Im an idiot." He sighed. "Im just having a hard time believing him, Rach. He told me he wont disappear this time, but how can I believe him? Hes done it so many times in the past, and I just keep letting it happen. So when I didnt hear from him this morning..."

"You figured he was pulling his old disappearing act and got mad." She finished for him.

"Yes, and it was stupid. I see that now. I mean, he actually told me that hed text me after his exam, not before, but I was just hoping, especially after last night that he would text me this morning. It was a stupid, knee jerk reaction and now I feel like dirt."

"Kurt, believe me, when I saw Blaine sleeping outside our door the other night, I was confused and honestly, a little angry. After all the times hes hurt you, he shows up literally on our doorstep, and I just wanted to kick him to the curb." She paused, and he heard her move the phone and type something, before she was back. "But I see a difference in him, Kurt. After I talked to him, I was still unsure, but I can see a sincerity in him this time. And today, Ive never seen him so lost. His eyes, Kurt. The hurt and worry in his eyes...it was intense. Im glad you are giving him another chance."

Kurt smiled at this. He was so worried about how his friends would react to him giving Blaine yet another chance, especially Rachel and Mercedes, who helped him through the roughest times. So hearing Rachel give her blessing meant the world to him.

He let his thoughts drift as he dodged the people around him, and of course, they drifted to Blaine. He couldnt believe hed missed his final to help Rachel look for him. He wanted to be angry with the older boy, but he couldnt. He was actually touched that he would give up something that important for him. He wasnt used to that feeling. Especially from Blaine.

"Kurt, are you still there?" Rachel asked, bringing him out of his thougts.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Just got lost in thought. Id better go, Rach. Its hard to navigate through the sea of people while on the phone." He said exasperated.

"Sure. Ill see you at home soon, right?"

"Yes, soon. Bye." He hung up and slid his phone back into his pocket without looking down. He needed to keep his eyes on the people, so he didnt get lost in the sea of bodies.

He had walked another couple blocks, bringing him within five minutes of the apartment when he thought he saw a flash of curls in the crowd. He scanned the people around him, wondering if it had been his imagination, when he was hit with such force it took his breath away. He was scared for a moment, until he realized the person that ran into him was currently wrapped around him and nuzzling his neck.

Blaine.

He felt like his entire body stopped functioning. He couldnt breath, he was sure his heart stopped beating, and his limbs were frozen at his side. Then he heard Blaines tortured voice chanting his name like a prayer. It was the voice that brought him back to himself and he slid his arms around Blaine while simultaneously taking a step to the side, so they were out of the line of traffic.

He allowed them both a minute to just enjoy the feel of each other, before pulling back and and trying to look at the shorter boy still in his arms. Blaine didnt seem to be loosening his hold so Kurt leaned back a little but Blaine was having none of it. He just kept his face buried in Kurts neck and kept mumbling about how worried he was and how he was sorry hed ever made Kurt feel like this. It was then he realized there was a wetness there, and Kurt broke.

"Im so sorry Blaine. I didnt mean to make you worry." Hed started crying by now, and was having a hard time continuing.

He heard Blaine, though. "When Rachel called and asked if I had heard from you. Oh God, I was so scared. I called and texted you over and over. Here I was, sleeping and you were God knows where..." He felt Blaines body quiver and the hot breath on his neck gave him his own chills, but for a different reason. Stop that. You are standing in the middle of the street in New York City wrapped up in the arms of the boy you love who is crying because of you and you are thinking about how good that warm breath feels on your skin. You are sick.

Kurt again tried to extract himself from Blaines arms with no luck, so he began talking again. "I cant believe you missed your final, though. What were you thinking?"

That did it. Blaine released him a took a step back, anger flickering in his eyes, still damp from the recent tears. He knew he should be focused on what Blaine was saying, but all he could think about was how fucking hot Blaine looked like that.

"What was I thinking? What was I thinking?" Blaine took a step toward him and even with the height difference, he was menacing. Kurt stepped backward and collided with a wall, but Blaine didnt stop. He got right in Kurts face, and Kurt could feel his warm breath on his lips this time, and he shivered. "What the hell were you thinking Kurt? Turning off your phone and disappearing without a trace? Rachel and I were so worried. We had no idea where you were or what had happened to you. At first, I thought you might have been upset with me about last night, but..."

Blaine didnt miss the guilty look that crossed Kurts face and he stepped back once again, a bewildered look on his face. "Thats it, isnt it? This was because of me. Jesus Kurt. All this worry because you were afraid I was going to ignore you again? So you thought youd beat me to the punch? Fuck!" He turned then and began pacing back and forth. Kurt stood stock still, watching Blaine, not sure how to react.

"I really fucked you up bad, didnt I?" He said finally, shaking his head in despair.

"No, Blaine, I..."

Blaine looked up at Kurt then, his eyes full of hurt and sadness, but still holding a bit of anger. "Dont." He said, holding up his hand. "I-I cant deal with this right now." Kurt stayed silent as Blaine began to pace back and forth in front of him. "Look Kurt," he said, turning to address him again. "Im so glad you are ok." He said, and Kurt heard a hint of worry left over. "But I was right last night. I...We both need some time to figure things out."

Kurts eyes widened and filled with tears. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, so he just stared at Blaine, mouth open, waiting.

"Dont take this as a bad thing, ok?" Blaine continued. "I need to come to terms with how much I hurt you, and you..." He stopped, almost afraid to finish. "You need to decide if you are really willing to give me another chance." He turned away then, not wanting Kurt to see the anguish in his face at the thought of Kurt changing his mind.

"Blaine, I told you, promised you, remember?" Kurt said, finally getting his voice.

"I remember," Blaine said, still not turning to face his friend. "You say you want to, but today showed me that you might not be able to."

"Today was just me making a stupid mistake." Kurt said forcefully.

"No, it was you doubting me and my sincerity. It showed me that you dont have faith in me, and I dont blame you. I certainly dont have the best track record, and I have no idea how to move forward."

He finally turned around to face Kurt, and the sight took Kurts breath away. All Blaines emotions were written on his face, the sadness, the hurt, the guilt, the worry. He heart broke, knowing he was the cause and he stepped forward with an overwhelming urge to hold him, but the shorter boy stepped back, shaking his head.

"Dont. I cant. Please understand. I just need some time. Im not going radio silent, and you shouldnt either. If you want me, just text me. I promise to get back to you as soon as possible. But please," his voice begging, "Dont assume the worst. Please." Kurt nodded, unable to speak. "I really have to go. Are you ok to make it back by yourself?" The taller boy cocked his head, as if to say, really? That move almost made Blaine smile, almost. "Keep your phone on, and Ill talk to you later, ok?"

Kurt looked ready to speak again, but Blaine just shook his head before turning around and walking away.