Prologue

Its Been a Long Time Coming

Kurt walked out on the stage slowly, a sad but determined look on his face. He whispered to the pianist and made his way up to the mic. The band was taking a break, and Kurt knew this was his moment.

Hed been psyching himself up for the moment for months now. Who was he kidding, it had been years. How could he have let things get so bad? Oh, thats right, it was Blaine. It had always been Blaine.

Kurt couldnt take it anymore. The pining, the waiting, the hurting, the tears. But that all ended tonight. He had waited for the band to take five, because he wanted to make sure Blaine was there, in the audience, watching. Blaine was a creature of habit, so once on break, he would visit the bathroom then the bar.

Kurt waited until he saw Blaine head for the bar before taking the stage. He had never been so scared in all his life, but he also knew that he needed to do this for his own sanity.

Then Kurt began to sing.

Chapter 1

How it all Began

He met Blaine his freshman year and had fallen head over heals in love. Coming from a small town in Ohio, Kurt hadnt met many other gays, so living in New York and going to school at a NYADA, a fine arts college, was a shock. There were a lot of openly gay guys and girls alike, and he didnt feel like such an outcast.

Blaine was in his Tuesday/Thursday acting class. The curly black hair and hazel eyes caught Kurts attention right away, along with many other guys and girls in the class, and Kurt almost fainted when Blaine sat down next to him and grinned.

"Is this seat taken?" Were the first words out of his mouth and Kurt was hooked. The two became fast friends and Kurt was able to curb his attraction, for the most part. He was honestly just happy to have found a friend to hang with. He missed his friends from New Directions, his old Glee club, and although he and Rachel lived together, they hardly saw each other with their schedules.

So, he began spending more and more time with Blaine, who, much to Kurts excitement and dismay was a huge flirt. When they were alone, watching a movie or just being silly, Blaine was always touchy feely, and Kurt was not used to it. Not that he was complaining. No, he wasnt complaining at all. But, it did confuse him.

In his high school, he obviously didnt have opportunities to date. Sure, hed had crushes before, but always on straight boys that he knew would never amount to anything.

And even though Blaine said he was gay, he still had no idea where he stood. As touchy as he was when they were alone, he was just the opposite when they were with friends. It was like Kurt had the plague. Sure, hed talk to Kurt, sometimes, but other times he completely ignored him.

This went on for most of their freshman year, and Kurt convinced himself it was okay. He knew Blaine cared about him, so what if he treated him like a nobody when they were out with Blaines friends. When Blaine came over and hung out with him and Rachel, he was his normal flirty self.

And he didnt always ignore him. There were days that Blaine would call him up early in the morning and kidnap him for the day, taking him to art exhibits and museums, and sometimes a Broadway show. One those days, even though they were out, Blaine would shower Kurt with attention and affection.

At times, Kurt felt like a flower. He was bright and happy when Blaine was around and being his normal self, but the second Blaine turned into the stranger (which is what Kurt took to calling Blaines second personality), he would wilt. Blaine would notice, and shower him with attention again, causing Kurt to blossom once again. It was a vicious cycle, and Kurt didnt know how much more of it he could take.

Of course, Kurt was so much in love with Blaine, that he continued to take it all, over and over again. And everyday Kurt hated himself a little more. He wanted to hate Blaine too, but he just couldnt. Deep down, he knew that Blaine had feelings for him. There were fleeting moments they would share, and Kurt would see something in Blaines eyes, but a moment later, he could cover it up with some funny joke and the moment was gone.

He recalled one time in particular, when he and Blaine had been making sundaes in his kitchen. It was not anything unusual, as they both loved eating ice cream while watching Moulin Rouge. Kurt had bought a new jar of cherries, and Blaine was teasing him about being able to tie the stem in a knot.

Rachel had let it slip last time that Kurt could tie a knot in a cherry stem with his tongue, but they were conveniently out of cherries, so Blaine couldnt test Kurt. This time, however, he was begging Kurt to show him and Kurt refused. When Blaine threatened to tickle him, Kurt took a glob of whipped cream and wiped it on Blaines nose.

Blaine stopped, looking up at Kurt through his lashes, and Kurt backed up, worried about what Blaine would do. Blaine took two quick steps forward, grabbing Kurts hands and placing them above his head while almost pressing his body against Kurts.

They both stood stock still, staring into each others eyes. Kurt could feel the heat from Blaines body that was so, so close to his, and his wrists were on fire where Blaine still held them above his head. The intensity in Blaines stare sent a warmth through Kurts entire body, and his mind could only think, please, please kiss me.

Suddenly, as if being burnt, Blaine let go of Kurts arms and stepped back, turning around. He stood still for a moment, but then picked up his spoon as if nothing had happened and went into the living room, leaving a confused and turned on Kurt in the kitchen.

As like most things that were confusing in their relationship, they never spoke about what happened that day. Unfortunately, it was moments like those, where Kurt knew he saw something in Blaines eyes, that kept him coming back.

The end of their freshman year came, separating the two boys for the summer. They talked about getting together at various times, but Kurt secretly hoped they wouldnt. He realized, after spending one lazy Sunday re-reading his diaries from the past year, that he needed distance from Blaine and his confusing signals. So, Kurt decided he would take the summer and get over Blaine.

Yeah, that was easier said than done when the person you are trying to get over texts you everyday, and Skypes you at least once a week. And, to top it off, continues to call you at random intervals too, sometimes in the middle of the night. Those are the hardest, because he knows Blaine is drunk, and thats when he says things that give Kurt hope. Hope he doesnt need.

The first late night drunk call came a month into their summer break. It was 2:30am when Kurts phone started playing Katy Perrys Firework. Blaine had programed it as his ringtone because, well, he was obsessed with Katy Perry.

Half asleep, Kurt mumbled a hello, wondering why Blaine would be calling him so late. He heard loud music in the background and was wondering if Blaine had accidentally butt dialed him until he heard sniffling.

"Blaine. Is that you? Are you there? I cant hear anything except music." He whisper yelled into the phone, not wanting to wake anyone up.

The music was quickly muffled, and it sounded like a door shut. "Kurt," Blaine said, his voice cracking. "I miss you." Was that another sniff. Was he crying? No way.

"Blaine, what are you talking about? We just Skyped yesterday, and you texted me this morning." Kurt had no idea what was happening, and he hated that feeling.

"I miss seeing you," came the quiet reply. "I just want to see you. Why cant I see you?"

"You saw me yesterday on Skype." Kurt said again, slowly this time, as if talking to a child.

"I know, but I couldnt touch you, or even smell you. You smell fantastic. Have I ever told you that? Well, you do. I love sitting close to you and just breathing in your scent. You have no idea how much I want to just pull you into my arms and bury my head in your shoulder and smell you."

Kurt was speechless. All traces of sleep gone, he sat up in his bed and tried to process what Blaine was saying. He knew he was drunk, but he was telling Kurt things that he had obviously wanted to do for some time. And Kurt had no idea how to react, so he decided to play along and see what else he could learn.

"Blaine, you know you can hug me anytime you want to." He said, jokingly, testing the waters.

"I want to hug you all the time, Kurt, but, but I cant." Came the broken reply.

"Why not?" He was almost afraid to hear the answer.

"Because if I let myself get to close, Ill be lost. I cant let that happen. These feelings...I - I dont understand them, and my friends keep telling me..." Suddenly there was noise in the background and he heard muffled voices. Blaine, dammit man, what are you doing? Are you stupid? Hang up the fucking phone.

Kurt heard Blaine start to object, then there was nothing but a dial tone. Kurt just sat there, phone still in his hand, listening to the dial tone, for what seemed like hours. He knew sleep was impossible, so he put the phone down and picked up his diary. He wrote until his hand began to cramp, then he took a break, and wrote some more.

Keeping a diary was the only thing that kept him sane during his high school years, and as much as it pained him to say, the one from his freshman year was filled with Blaine and only Blaine. God, he was pathetic. But, hearing Blaine say those things to him gave him hope again. Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder.

He finally fell asleep around dawn, exhaustion finally catching up to him. He stayed up later than he should have, glancing at his phone every few minutes, hoping Blaine would call back, or even send a quick text, but all he got was radio silence.

Unfortunately, that silence lasted throughout the following day, which was incredibly confusing to Kurt. Normally, Blaine texted him at least 10 times a day. Usually just random thoughts or quotes from their favorite movie or song, but today, nothing.

After spending all day worrying and fretting, Kurt decided to just bite the bullet and text Blaine himself. Nothing earth shattering, just a quick hello, and whats up.

Kurt didnt receive a reply until hours later, as he was in the middle of his moisturizing routine. Fearing the worst, he made himself wait until he was finished, then slowly walked to his desk where his phone lay. He looked at it as if it might bite, before snatching it up and looking at the message before he could change his mind.

He wished he hadnt looked. Hes not sure what he was expecting after last nights call and weird confessions, but is wasnt this. The text simply said, Sorry, busy.

Thats it. Sorry, busy. Really? He drunk dialed him, going on about how he wants to smell him and pretty much says he is confused about his feeling, before his friends cut him off. What the hell? Sure, Kurt was hurt earlier, and confused. Hell, he was still confused, but now he was just pissed. Well, two can play that game.