Aug. 4, 2012, 4:50 p.m.
Our Love Song: Chapter 11: Kurt
T - Words: 1,237 - Last Updated: Aug 04, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 27/27 - Created: Nov 01, 2011 - Updated: Aug 04, 2012 1,416 0 0 0 0
"Yeah, but if he doesn't love me, then I'd just be making a huge fool out of myself. I mean... Come What May is like the world's greatest love song. If he didn't..." my voice cracked, and I struggled to finish the sentence. "If he didn't return the feelings, I don't know what I'd do."
"Don't be an idiot, Kurt. He's your boyfriend, of course he loves you. He's just going through a tough time and is having trouble expressing his feelings," Mercedes tried to comfort me. "And you singing the world's greatest love song to him will just make him love you even more."
"But what if it doesn't? What if-"
"Shut up and go sing to him." I opened the car door a little bit. I let my legs dangle out of the side of Mercedes' car. I swung them back and forth, considering. I was worried about every single thing. All of a sudden, a billion flaws in our plan that had looks so utterly flawless Monday night suddenly came into view. I was imagining me forgetting the lyrics, my voice cracking, him yelling at me, me breaking down crying, awkward silences, and so much more. The thoughts were terrifying.
"Come on, Kurt. Courage," Rachel said, pushing me out of my seat with a little too much force, causing me to tumble out of the car. Courage. I smiled, remembering the word that has acted as my motivation since I'd met Blaine. And then realizing that I didn't have it.
Courage sounds good right now, yes.
"Alright. If I'm not running out of the house crying in ten minutes, you can go ahead and leave without me," Rachel and Mercedes laughed.
"Sounds like a plan. Do you have your music?" I nodded, holding out Rachel's bedazzled speakers with a light smile.
"Awesome. Now go away," Mercedes shooed me away with her hands, and I reluctantly slammed the car door. The walk from Mercedes' car to Blaine's front door wasn't a long one, but it sure felt like one. I felt Mercedes and Rachel's careful gaze on me, watching my every move.
I stepped up onto the front porch and pressed the doorbell, stepping back and waiting, somewhat impatiently. I tried to make my mind recite the lyrics to the song, but I got stuck after "never knew"... (also known as the first two words of the song) My mind froze up completely and I stood there on Blaine Anderson's porch, my boyfriend that I haven't spoken to in five days, about to serenade him with the world's greatest love song that I had just forgotten the lyrics to. Oh, God, I was going to die.
But as much as I had no idea what was going to go on that day, nothing could have prepared me for what was going to go down next.
It wasn't Blaine who opened the door.
"Oh! Mr. Anderson!" I realized that I'd never met Blaine's father. I had been introduced to both his mother and his older brother, but never... never his father. I only knew it was him from a picture of him and Blaine that sat on Blaine's bedside table. Blaine must have been around four years old in the picture. He sat on his father's lap, a huge grin plastered on both of their faces.
"Who are you?" his face was in a hardened expression, staring at me intently. Suddenly I felt two inches tall. Completely vulnerable. I didn't know what to say, because I didn't know how much he knew. I would hate to say something about Blaine and I that Blaine hadn't gotten a chance to tell him himself.
"A friend of Blaine's," I decided on. "Is he here?" Mr. Anderson didn't move or change his expression. He continued to reduce me to near nothingness with his gaze, which did nothing less than terrify me.
"You're Kurt Hummel, aren't you?" my heart sank with the realization that he knew exactly who I was and probably, considering the accusation of his voice, the state of my relationship with his son.
"Uh, yes, sir."
"Then get out. I don't want you near my son anymore," his voice was stern and his glare filled with poison. If I felt two inches tall before, I felt barely a millimeter tall now. It sunk in slow enough what he was saying to me. He didn't like me. He didn't approve of my relationship with Blaine. He didn't want me to see Blaine. I couldn't see Blaine.
"Dad! Is that Kurt?" my heart leaped as I saw a familiar face peek around the corner of the hallway. Blaine.
"Yes, but he is just leaving."
"No! Kurt, don't go!" Blaine looked right at me. I could barely hold his gaze. I looked at his face. The scars were still there, but overall he looked better. Almost... normal.
"Kurt is leaving. You can't see him anymore."
"No, dad! I have to talk to him!" Blaine looked at his dad with a sense of urgency, and for a minute, forgetting the current situation, I was happy that Blaine wanted to be with me and wanted to talk. But that feeling didn't last very long.
"No, you can't Blaine. Kurt, I want you to leave, and don't come back to this house ever again."
"No! Please don't leave, Kurt," Blaine pushed past his father. He clutched onto my shoulder protectively. This touch... however little it may have been... it made me feel like I was tall again. Blaine made me feel safe and stronger again, just like he always had. "Just give me five minutes to talk to him, please. In private, just five minutes."
"Fine. You have five minutes, but that's it," Mr. Anderson walked inside, leaving Blaine and I alone. I was still incapable of speech or movement, barely even registering what had just happened in my mind.
Barely a few seconds after Blaine's father had left, he was pressed up against me, his lips crashing against mine in our first real kiss since last Friday. I'd missed it. More than I can put down in words. When we separated, I wasn't quite sure what to say.
"Blaine..."
"Kurt, I'm so sorry," Blaine whispered in my ear. It felt... good in a weird way. This totally different behavior after all we had been through this week... I had no idea how to react. He pulled me back and looked me in the eyes. "Kurt, I love you. I'm so sorry. This isn't it. I promise."
"Blaine..." I struggled for words. "What?"
"I want to be honest with you. I want us to have no secrets. I want us to be forever. And I'm so sorry for hiding things from you, but you'll have to understand why," his strong hands were stroking my hair lovingly and all I could do was stare at him blankly.
"Then why, Blaine?" his gaze softened sadly, and I was immidiately worried. Blaine has been hiding something so important that he couldn't even tell me, his boyfriend... And I was about to figure out why. I was ambushed with a quick feeling of sheer terror.
"You can't tell anybody, Kurt. Not Mercedes, or Rachel, or Finn, or even your father. Promise me."
"I promise."
"I want you to be safe, Kurt. That's why I didn't tell you," I touched his chest just above where his ribs were, still healing, with the gentlest touch. Blaine looked at my fingers sadly, then back up to me.
"My father," he whispered. I nearly choked as all the pieces began to fall into place.