Puck refused to elaborate, but I didn’t need to know what Sebastian had said. Sebastian had wanted my job from the start, so anything he had to say to the headmaster couldn’t be good. Puck told me that he was already risking a lot by giving me a heads up and that he had the utmost faith in me, but I still left the room a little nauseous. I tried not to worry; Headmaster Douglass had liked me enough to hire me, hadn’t he? On the other hand, I knew I needed to step it up. I needed to show the headmaster that there was absolutely no reason to listen to Sebastian’s claims, whatever they may be. This only served to make audition week more tense.

I was rather surprised at the number of kids that came to auditions. Almost all of our students, as well as a number of individuals who had yet to establish themselves in the Arts Department were there. Most of the students were nervous, which made me glad that we had just finished our mock-auditions unit. Hopefully the knowledge of what was expected would be of some comfort to my students.

The first night of auditions did not go very well. Sebastian sat between Blaine and me with a disinterested, snarky air. He seemed to enjoy disagreeing with any comments I made simply for argument’s sake. He spent the entire first night doodling on a napkin, playing Angry Birds on his iPhone, and trying to chat with Blaine. Blaine merely listened to him, completely oblivious to the tension in the room. It never failed to astonish me that Blaine could be so perceptive at times, like when dealing with Valerie, but then so clueless at others. It was almost enough to make me wonder if it was all a mask he wore to avoid conflict, but Blaine was too not to try to help resolve things. If he had noticed, surely he would have tried to mediate by now.

Brittany and Mike had already worked on the choreography for an ensemble number, as well as a small ballet piece for the girls. We realized at the beginning of the audition that no one had hooked up the stage’s speakers yet, leaving us with no way to broadcast the music for the dances.

“Kurt, I thought you were taking care of it,” Sebastian accused, “Why didn’t you figure it out last night when you came to the theater to set stuff up?” His voice was annoyed, but his eyes lit up in delight at the mishap.

“The doors to the sound booth were locked when I came in last night, and I don’t have a master key yet. I called Puck and he said that he’d get the guys to check up on the system. But they had a dance recital last weekend in here, so when I didn’t hear back I assumed we were in the clear.” I explained.

The kids were all sprawled out across the audience, waiting for our instructions. We had already wasted enough time by giving a little pep-talk—courtesy of a very excited Blaine—so we needed to get started soon. When Sebastian flopped back down to play Angry Birds, inspiration struck.

“Do you get internet in here?” I asked.

“Yes, but you can’t use it.” Sebastian replied. He sounded like a toddler, clutching a toy to his chest and squealing mine. I rolled my eyes before producing my own iPhone from my pocket.

“Just checking. Britt, what songs were you using?” I was able to find the songs we needed on Youtube, albeit the movie versions. The songs were slightly different, but it would work. I ran to my office to get my iPod dock and we were ready. Brittany was very patient with the students, going over the routine again and again while Mike jotted down notes on each student’s audition form. Things were going rather well, until a bumbling senior boy lost his footing and tripped off of the stage. There was an unfortunate-sounding crunch, and the night ended with Mike and me escorting the boy to the health center.

The next night, Blaine sat with the others, frantically scribbling notes after each student’s performance. I was accompanying them on the piano on stage, so I had no idea what Blaine was writing. I couldn’t help but tense up whenever I noticed Sebastian whisper something to Blaine intimately. Each student was singing sixteen bars of whatever song that Blaine had put out the week before for their range. Listening to forty sopranos sing Far From the Home I Love one after another was tiring and I soon grew restless. Just as I was beginning to think that Valerie had decided not to show, I noticed her hiding in the back as the tenors practiced scales together. She ended up auditioning last, when the majority of the other students had already left.

She introduced herself quickly before beginning with her piece. She started softly, but soon gained confidence. She was loud and clear, with a rich timbre to her voice that was uncommon among girls of Valerie’s age. She was singing the song Blaine had put out for tenors, Miracle of Miracles. Traditionally, the song is song by a male, but her voice seemed to fit the song better than any of the guys that had auditioned with it. I would have to see Blaine’s notes, of course, but I had a good feeling about Valerie’s audition.

The next morning when I went downstairs to have breakfast, Blaine was nowhere to be found. Over the last few weeks, my rushed coffee while Annabel waited for Blaine had transformed into the two of us eating breakfast together. I was getting up slightly earlier, so instead of grabbing a yogurt to eat in my office, I started sitting with Annabel. Blaine had quickly realized that Annabel was eating a real meal, instead of the cereal that she usually ate. He had felt guilty that I was cooking for her every day, so he began to help me cook and the three of us ate together. It was cozy and domestic, and I hadn’t realized just how much I enjoyed it until Blaine didn’t come that morning.

“Anna, love, where’s your Daddy?” I asked as I got out the eggs.

“He’s sleepy.” She twirled around the room, setting the table for us. “He forgot to wake me up this morning. I had to go jump on his bed.”

As she said this, Blaine entered the kitchen.

“What’re you making?” He asked blearily, rubbing at his head. “And why are you being so loud?” Blaine’s usually impeccable clothing was wrinkled and his bowtie was crooked. He also had all of the signs of a hangover.

Blaine looked to be in agony, so I turned down the burner and asked, “Do you want me to get you an aspirin?”

“Yeah. My head’s pounding.” He slumped against the counter, grimacing at the overhead light.

“You do realize that everyone is going to know what you were up to last night, don’t you?” I asked as I fished some Advil from the cabinet. Blaine merely grumbled in response. “Why would you go out on a school night? Where was Anna?” Blaine was such a responsible father. Why on earth would he go out and get drunk when he knew he had class in the morning and a four year old at home?

“She was here, asleep. I didn’t go anywhere.” He whispered, obviously trying to appease his aching head.

“So you just decided to get wasted, by yourself, at home, on a school night?” I asked incredulously. “That’s so unlike you.”

“Sebastian came over after auditions last night. We watched the game after I put Anna to bed, and I had a few beers. I’m a light-weight.” Blaine moved to sit down at the table next to Anna, burying his head in his hands.

“Daddy’s up!” Anna squealed when she noticed him. “Why’re you acting so funny?”

“Hun, Daddy’s head hurts. Please use your inside voice.” Blaine whispered.

“Hangovers are nature’s way of reminding you that you were really stupid last night. Deal with the noise, and maybe you’ll be smarter next time.” I chided as I handed Blaine his pill before returning to finish breakfast.

“Thanks, Dad.” He grumbled sarcastically. Blaine with a hangover was starting to get on my nerves. Not to mention the fact that I was still trying to decide how I felt that Sebastian had been over last night. Sure, I had no interest in watching the game last night, but it would have been nice to have been invited. Maybe there was something going on between Blaine and Sebastian, and I was just too oblivious to notice it. Maybe Blaine wanted a guy like Sebastian, who would charm him over beers.

A few years ago, just knowing that Blaine was interested in guys like Sebastian would have had me changing everything about myself in an attempt to win him over. College had matured me, however, and I had grown confident in myself. If Blaine didn’t like who that person was, that was his problem, right? I tried not to think about what Blaine and Sebastian may or may not have gotten up to the night before and move on with my day. But knowing something and actually believing it are two very separate things.

It was harder than I had hoped it would be. At lunch, Puck teased Blaine about his hangover consistently. By that point, the headache had worn off, but Blaine still looked a little pale. He was nursing his water while munching on saltines, hoping to settle his stomach.

“Anderson, if you needed to relax, you should have called me. I get around, you know. I could’ve shown you a good time, and prevented the hangover.” Puck teased, clearly enjoying the change in events. Blaine was always so in control, and Puck was loving that he had an edge on him.

“Are there even any bars in town?” Brittany said. “Where’d you go?”

“Guys! It wasn’t like that. I just drank a little too much after dinner. We were watching the game.” Blaine explained with an edge to his voice. That was another thing—Hangover Blaine had a tendency to snap. He didn’t seem to be aware that Puck was just teasing, and instead of just jousting back with him as always, I worried that he would lash out. As laid back as Puck seemed to be, he was still Blaine’s friend, and for that reason I hoped that Blaine would be able to control himself.

“I see Kurt managed to come out of it all right.” Puck noted with a grin. “Was this part of your plan, Hummel? Get Blaine wasted and then have your way with him?”

“What? No, Kurt wasn’t there,” Blaine said. “Sebastian came over. Why would Kurt be there?”

Silence. Complete and utter silence engulfed the table, thicker than the time that Brittany had accidentally claimed that she was going to school for masturbating, instead of her Masters’ degree. Blaine, oblivious as always, gulped down the rest of his water and stood up.

“I’m gonna take a nap before my next class. See you at auditions, Kurt.”

“I thought that you and Blaine were…” Puck began, “I mean, please don’t tell me I’m the only one who saw it.”

“Nope, I thought so too.” One of Puck’s many groupies replied, scooting her chair closer to his. He ignored her attempts to distract him and looked right at me.

“Hummel, are you okay? I’m sure he’ll come round,” He assured, smiling brightly. “He’s always been known for having his head in his ass.”

“I’m fine. Why does everyone assume that just because we’re both gay and we live together that we’re dating?” I asked petulantly.

“Isn’t that how it works?” Brittany asked. Her accent was somewhat less pronounced as she talked around a mouthful of spaghetti, “You meet, you kiss, you move in, no?”

“We don’t live together; we share a townhouse. It was arranged by the school. We didn’t even meet until after I moved in!” I argued, over Puck’s laughter.

“Kinky, Hummel. I didn’t know you had it in you.” He quipped. I rolled my eyes before standing up to leave. Puck was great, but I was not in the mood to joke about my sex life. Especially my non-existent-as-of-now sex life, and especially when I was still fuming inwardly over Blaine’s hangover.

Luckily, I had cooled off by that afternoon, so I was able to sit next to Sebastian at auditions without strangling him. We had to work together, as co-directors, but of course we found a way to be as separate as possible. He and I took separate notes on each student’s monologue to be discussed later. We refrained from commenting on anything, watching in silence as each student did their piece. When the actual rehearsals began, we’d have to interact more frequently, so I was enjoying this while it lasted.

It was a rather proud moment for me to see my students perform their monologues. I couldn’t take credit for much, but it still made me feel giddy. It was almost like I was up there myself, filled with nerves and hope and desperation for a lead. But the greatest of all of the monologues was Valerie’s. It wasn’t necessarily that she was better than the other students, although she did do very well. I could feel the emotion in her body language; see the picture she painted with her voice. As she spoke, she continually blew my mind.

The main thing was that I realized how big of a step this was for her. She was putting herself out there; she was outing herself. For all she knew, everyone at Lake Vermont was just like Aikya. For all she knew, she was setting herself up for the kind of torture I had experienced in Ohio. I knew better, but she didn’t. Not everyone was like Aikya. I couldn’t wait for Valerie to realize the number of people that truly cared for her. When she finished, it took all I had not to clap. I simply smiled, and thanked her, before moving on to the next student. Valerie left the stage with a huge smile and shining eyes. Gone was the scared little girl that had come to me crying, and in her place was the beginning of a strong, independent young man.

When everyone finished we all went to the staff lounge to discuss casting. Standard procedures would be to wait a week, but with our busy schedules it would be best if we could get the cast list up by Monday. We started off discussing the notes we had for each individual, good and bad, so that we could see how well they worked across the board. There was one girl that I had been certain would make a great Chava, but upon hearing Blaine's notes on her voice I knew that she didn't stand a chance. The same went for a senior girl that Mike had raved about, but couldn’t act to save her life. Most of the students were well-rounded enough for us to agree. That is, until we got to Valerie Bradley.

"I don't know what you saw, Brittney, but that kid can dance. She can hold her own well enough in a group, which would help her in ensemble,” Mike said.

“She has energy,” Brittany commented, “That’s for sure. What did you think, Blaine?”

"Okay, let me find my notes... Well, she was singing a song meant for tenors, but she did really well. Nice projection, and although her notes were slightly shaky at the beginning they leveled off beautifully. I think Valerie's perfect for ensemble, but too unusual for any of the girls' roles."

I nodded, “Valerie wouldn't fit any of the female roles, but she would make an outstanding Motel. She blew my mind with her Tevye monologue, and I have the feeling that she's just small enough to make Motel look meek without being too unbelievable. She’s too talented to hide in a crowd. Sebastian?"

"No. Definitely not. She's a girl; what would the alumni think if Lake Vermont endorsed cross-dressing?” Sebastian looked at me with a fierce resolve. “Let her be ensemble—and make her sing alto."

I tried to interject, but Mike beat me to it. "It wouldn't be cross-dressing—it would be acting. And Lake Vermont is a fairly liberal school. Kurt’s right, she should be on the list for callbacks for Motel. He doesn’t do much dancing, but Brittany can add in something to showcase her moves.”

"She was the best fit for the role. You've all said that she sang and danced well, so there are no reasons not to consider her for the part. Blaine, Back me up on this?" I asked, turning to him.

"I don't know, Kurt. Sebastian has a point. I really don't think it would be a good idea. We should just let her be ensemble. It's not fair to the other boys that she beat out," Blaine said, looking anywhere but at me.

"And discriminating against her is?" I was livid, "How can we possibly teach acceptance when the faculty doesn't uphold it? Not once have you mentioned her talent, so if your only reasoning is her anatomy—"

"Oh come on, just because you feel sorry for her doesn’t mean you can just hand out—" Sebastian started, only to be cut off by Mike.

“I think,” He began, “That we should skip over Valerie’s audition for now. Let’s finish up, and we can all go home and think on it, calm down a bit. Then, tomorrow we’ll discuss it, okay?” I agreed, but I still found it hard not to spend the rest of the meeting glaring daggers at Sebastian. However, more than anything, I was pissed at Blaine. How could he say those things after everything he had been doing to help Valerie? Didn’t he have any idea how big of an accomplishment it was that Valerie had even been willing to audition for a male role?

When I went home that night, Blaine was waiting for me in the living room. “Kurt? Can we talk for a minute?”

“I honestly doubt that would be a good idea,” I snapped, “We have to share a house for the rest of the year. I’d rather not say something I’m going to regret, and I’m not in the mood to censor myself.” I headed for the stairs, planning on calling Rachel to rant as I indulged in a tub of Ben and Jerry’s. Today had been awful from the start, and I wanted nothing more than empty calories and Rachel’s voice.

“No. We need to talk.” Blaine was faster than I had expected. He hopped off the couch and grabbed my arm with a firm grip. “You need to understand why—I’m not an asshole, okay?”

I jerked my arm out of his hand and turned to him. “Fine.” I nearly growled. “Talk.” I demanded, heading to the couch.

“Valerie is one of my favorite students. She’s a sweet kid, and I’m so proud of her for coming so far in the past year. But if she goes up on that stage dressed as a man her life is only going to get harder.” His eyes were almost black with intensity. I could tell that he was doing this out of some sense of moral obligation, but that didn’t make me any less angry.

“That’s not our choice to make. Valerie is going to come out eventually, and we’re just giving her the opportunity to do so in a safe environment. Do you really want to discourage her after she’s trusted you with something this big?” I shot another withering glare, but he just sighed.

“Who says this is a safe environment? How do we know we’re not just setting the stage for disaster?” His voice broke, and I saw another glimmer of the weak, devastated Blaine that I had seen the weekend before.

“Blaine, what are you trying to tell me? What… what happened to you?” I asked, leaning forward to take his hands. That was all it took. Blaine retracted his hands violently, whipping his body away from me.

“She’s not getting that callback.” He said coldly. The next thing I knew, he had stormed out of the living room. I slumped up the stairs, too emotionally exhausted to do anything more than sleep.