Annabel stumbled in the bus groggily, and Blaine laid her out on an empty row of seats. She was curled up with a blanket and asleep before we finished loading the bus. Blaine and I took the two seats across from her and stored away our bags. After a quick head count, we were off. I had planned on napping for at least part of the ride, but Blaine was too excited to sit still. He was bouncing slightly in his seat, already listing all of the things that he just had to show Annabel. As annoying as his peppiness was so early in the morning, it was hard not to get swept away into the excitement radiating off of him. I couldn’t blame him. I remembered the first time my dad had visited me in college. I had dragged him around the city until his feet were aching, showing him snippets of my life. I couldn’t wait to see Annabel’s face when she saw New York for the first time.

“So, what’s on the plan for today, then?” I asked when Blaine finally paused to breathe.

“Well,” he began, “Once we get to the hotel we’ll probably find somewhere to eat lunch. After that, I’m not sure. I want Annabel to see Times Square today, and then maybe we can do some touristy things. Oh, and we’re definitely hitting Central Park before we leave. She’s super excited about seeing the zoo from Madagascar. We loved that movie,” He admitted sheepishly.

“I see. But, tonight? No specific plans?” I asked.

“Are you asking me out?” He asked with a grin. “Because it’s kind of hard to go out when you have your four-year-old tagging along,”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I scoffed, hoping the dim lighting would hide my blush, “I was just wondering if you both would like to come see Wicked with me. My old roommate is in it and she was able to save me a few tickets. I thought that Annabel would probably love it. But, I completely understand if you already have plans.”

“Oh my God, Kurt!” Blaine yelped, drawing the attention of several others on the bus, “ I’ve seen Wicked once when it was touring, but that was before Anna. She’s going to love it. We’d love to! I keep forgetting that you went to NYU. You know this city so much better than I do.” If Blaine had been excited before, he was practically radiating now. I knew I had done the right thing by asking Rachel to hold three tickets for me.

“We should stick together then.” I tried to grab my iPod out of my bag, but Blaine was too quick for me.

“Come on, you don’t need that. You have me to keep you company. Besides, we have this entire drive to plan out this weekend.”

I knew that there was no point in arguing with Blaine, so I tucked my iPod away and turned towards him. “Okay. Lunch, Times Square, then we see Wicked. What else did you want to show Annabel?”

"Oh. I um, I didn't exactly think that far ahead to be honest." He admitted sheepishly.

"So what were you going to do if I didn't offer to show you and Annabel around? What if I had plans?" I'd always been organized; I made lists in my sleep. Hearing that Blaine was going to a city he was unfamiliar with and just planning on winging it made me wince.

"I figured you'd say yes, and if not, I could always ask someone for directions. I couldn't manage to get too lost, right? I mean, we're sending a group of twenty-odd kids to wander around, aren't we?"

"The kids are all in groups of three, and they've given us rough itineraries for the entire weekend. The kids are far less likely to get lost!" I scolded. "Why did they ever agree to let you chaperone?"

"I asked nicely." Blaine said with a smirk. "You should try it sometime."

I hit him with one of my trademark bitch glares, and he retaliated by sticking out his tongue.

"Your maturity abounds," I said dryly. "Now shut up so I can sleep."

***

We arrived at noon. The bus pulled up beside the small hotel we would be staying at that night. The Belnord Hotel was in midtown, and it was relatively nice for such a cheap place. After helping the kids check into their rooms, Blaine and I dumped our stuff in the room we would be sharing.

“Daddy, I’m hungry!” Annabel complained. “I haven’t eaten in ages!”

“Well, Bella-boo, you’re gonna have to ask Mr. Hummel what his plans are. He’s our tour guide today.” Blaine said with a grin. “Lead the way, good sir!”

It seemed that Blaine was less patient than Annabel when it came to food. Within ten minutes of leaving the hotel, he was already pestering me.

“So… where’re we going?” He asked, as I flagged a taxi.

“Nope! If you wanted to know what my plans were, you shouldn’t have fallen asleep in the bus. After insisting that I stay up and talk to you, no less.” I scooped up Annabel and entered the taxi. Blaine grumbled as he followed me inside.

I quickly gave the address to the driver and settled in. Annabel crawled over into my lap so that she could smash her nose up against the window.

“Daddy! Look! The buildings go up forever! There are so many people. Daddy, why isn’t that man wearing pants? Is he going to be cold? Is he—wait, look it’s Mary Poppins! We saw that movie!” Annabel babbled on, pointing out the sights that appealed to her. Blaine, on the other hand, was so busy trying to wrestle her into her seatbelt that he was paying no mind to our surroundings. So, when we finally arrived he looked up in amusement.

“Are… are you serious?” He asked. “You took us to the most tourist filled section of the city?” We were right outside of the Winter Garden Theatre, where Mamma Mia was performed. “And, I thought we were getting something to eat?”

“This is Annabel’s first time here. Tourist things are just what she needs, right hun?” Annabel nodded sagely, and grabbed my hand. “And anyways, we’re not going into the theatre.” I motioned to the restaurant right next to the theatre. “Ellen’s Stardust Diner is the perfect place to go on your first trip to the city.” I lead the way into the dimly lit diner. We walked in mid-song, and my reasons for picking this restaurant became apparent.

“Oh my god! This is awesome!” Blaine exclaimed loudly over the music. Annabel tried desperately to watch everything at once, but it was a lot to take in. There were two people with microphones dancing around the tables while the rest of the servers sang back up as they passed out food. The restaurant had a slight retro feel to it, but that was ruined by the high tech lights shining on the performers.

We were seated on the first floor in the middle of the room, which was loud and crowded but in the center of the action.

“So, basically, all of the waiters work here to foot the bills while they try to get a spot on Broadway. The food is rather terrible, but it’s meant for tourists, so you can’t really blame them.” I explained. “My friend Rachel used to work here, before she got into Wicked.”

We didn’t talk much, content to eat and watch the performances. It wasn’t until right after we finished that I spotted Nate. The heavyset man’s eyes lit up when he recognized me, and he ran up to our table.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a surprise for you today! Kurt’s back!” He squealed into his microphone as he ran over. “Maybe, if we ask nicely, he’ll give us a song!” The customers, who mainly consisted of overweight southerners and their whiny children, cheered, as if they had any idea who I was. Blaine looked at me with shining eyes, but it was Annabel’s reaction that sealed my fate.

“Can I pick the song you sing, Mr. Hummel?” She asked. I internally cursed Nate’s weakness when it came to kids.

“What do you want us to sing, darling?” He asked, as he handed me a wireless microphone from the rack above the counter.

“A princess song!” She said. That settled it, and the next thing I knew Nate was dragging me on top of the ledge between two tables.

“I’m telling Rachel!” I threatened quietly, but he simply grinned and began singing.

“I can show you the world…” His voice rang out. I quickly became lost in the song, nailing Jasmine’s parts, if I do say so myself. We danced around each other for a while, until it came to the last few lines. I leapt off the ledge and walked back to my table, motioning towards Annabel. She eagerly ran towards me, and sang the last lines with me. Her voice was strong for such a young girl’s, and I wondered if that came naturally or from Blaine’s coaching.

The diner exploded in applause when Annabel fumbled with a curtsy. Blaine let out a loud whistle, and Annabel ran towards Nate to give him a hug.

“See? At least she likes me,” Nate said, nudging me in the shoulder. He handed the microphones to someone else and waited for them to begin before he walked back to our table. “So, what brings you back to the city?” He asked me, before thrusting his hand out at Blaine. “I’m Nate. I’m assuming this diva’s yours?”

“Blaine, and yes, this is my daughter Anna.” Blaine smiled, ruffling her hair.

“He’s cute. At least, more than the last loser you introduced me to.” Nate whispered to me, still loud enough for Blaine to hear. “Where’d you find this one?”

“Nate! He’s not my—I mean, we’re colleagues. And I thought you liked Lewis.” I accused. “He said you were still friends.”

“Whatever, whatever.” Nate brushed me off, “I’ve got to get back to work, but thanks for the show. I’ve missed you.” He turned towards Blaine. “This guy used to stop by every day to sing with us, before Rachel made it big, that is.” Nate pulled me into a big hug before heading back to work.

***

“So. That was awesome.” Six hours later and Blaine was still going on about my impromptu performance. “Like, I had no idea that you were a countertenor. Why haven’t I heard you sing before?”

“Why would you have?” I sighed as we entered the theatre. We’d spent the rest of the day in Times Square, doing any and everything that Annabel could think of, and I was exhausted. Blaine had been just as excited as Anna to explore M&M World and was still suffering the side effects of eating too much candy. “Besides, we’re here.”

I hurried to get the tickets that Rachel had reserved for us and get seated. We were about six rows from the front, dead center. Annabel was literally shaking with excitement. Blaine had talked about Wicked a lot in the past, and Annabel seemed to equate actually seeing it with Christmas morning.

Of course, I had completely forgotten the flying monkeys. When they first came out, Annabel screamed bloody murder. The next thing I knew, she was curled up in my lap. Blaine leaned over, and began stroking her hair and whispering in her ear. Immediately, all of the tension left her body, and she sat back up.

“I’m okay now.” She sniffed, before returning to her seat. She grabbed Blaine’s right and my left, squeezing tightly before bravely lifting her eyes back up towards the stage. We remained silent until I finally picked out Rachel from the rest of the students at Shiz.

“Look!” I whispered to Anna and Blaine, “Third from the left, the girl with brown hair. That’s Rachel!” I watched in awe as Rachel danced with the others during Dancing Through Life. I’d never seen her perform before in an ensemble role, and it was a little overwhelming. Rachel was always the center of attention, so it was shocking to see her onstage and not trying to pull focus. When she had been in productions at NYU she had always fought for the spotlight.

Wicked was just as amazing as I had remembered. Afterwards when we met up with Rachel for dinner, Annabel proved to be a proper fangirl.

“That’s her!” She squealed to Blaine, before leaping up to give Rachel a hug. “I saw you on the stage! It was so good! ‘Cept not those monkeys, because they weren’t fun. They were scary, and I screamed even though you’re supposed to be quiet inside.”

Rachel laughed as she hugged her back, before reaching out to engulf me in a hug. “Thanks, sweetie. Oh god, I can’t believe you’re finally here, Kurt! I thought you’d never come back!”

“I know, I know. I suck. I can’t believe I waited this long to see you either. You were fabulous, Rachel. Barbra would be jealous.” I hugged her back. “I’ve missed you, love.”

Quick introductions were made, and Annabel spent the majority of dinner bombarding Rachel with questions, from the personal, “What’s your favorite color? I like pink, like Galinda, do you?”, to the professional, “How many dresses does Galinda get to wear? And how does she change so fast?” Rachel was a good sport, but she cornered me during dinner.

“What is going on with you two?” She demanded when Blaine left to take Annabel to the bathroom. “You hate kids, but that kid has you wrapped around her pinky. Did you sleep with him yet?”

“Rachel!” I whipped around, checking to make sure Blaine hadn’t suddenly reappeared. “No! Of course not!”

“Why? Nate called me after your little show today at lunch. He said that Mr. Prep-School was drooling over you the entire performance. And I didn’t miss how he held the doors open for you, either.” She said, as she sipped her Cosmo. “So he obviously isn’t opposed to the idea.”

“Rachel! He’s just polite. And, you know, I work at a prep school too. So what makes him Mr. Prep-School and not me?”

“He dresses like it! Who wears a bowtie when they’re spending a day in the city?”

“True, true. But he pulls it off rather well.”

“I bet you’d love to see him pull it off, wouldn’t you?” Rachel quipped with a wink.

“Rachel!”

***

“I’m exhausted!” Blaine sighed as he tucked Annabel into the queen sized bed that they would be sharing. “I’m gonna take a shower, okay?”

I nodded as I went through my suitcase. “Sure, sure. I’ll hop in when you’ve finished.”

Blaine grabbed his bag and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. I got out my pajamas and toiletries so that I would be ready when Blaine finished and flopped onto the other bed. I was flipping through the texts on my phone when I heard the hesitant knock.

“Mr. Anderson?” someone sniffled, “Can I talk to you?” Valerie was at the door when I answered, tears raining down her face.

“Valerie? Is everything okay?”

“I just—can I talk to Mr. Anderson?” She asked softly. I glanced back at the closed bathroom door, the sounds of Blaine humming in the shower drifting through.

“He’s in the shower. Can I help you, hun? Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, fighting the urge to drown the frail girl in a hug.

“O-okay. Yeah, I’d like that.” She answered. I motioned for her to give me a second and went back into the room.

“Blaine!” I called out, banging on the bathroom door. “A student needs me, I’m going out. I’ll be back soon.”

“Sure, lock the room, okay?” He yelled back. I grabbed my coat and slipped back on my shoes before leaving the room.

“Do you have your shoes?” Valerie nodded. “Okay, great. Mr. Anderson’s daughter is sleeping, so I figured we could talk somewhere else. There’s a Starbucks just around the corner…” I trailed off as we reached the elevator. Valerie nodded, and I could tell that she was uncomfortable. I hoped that getting to the coffee shop would help her relax. We walked down the street in silence until we got there. I quickly ordered for myself before turning to Valerie.

“Water’s fine,” she mumbled.

Once we’d grabbed our drinks we found some chairs to sit in at a table in an isolated corner. I sipped my mocha slowly, waiting for Valerie to speak. Ten minutes passed and she still just sat there, not meeting my eyes. I took that as my cue to speak up.

“Valerie. Something is obviously really wrong. Did something happen while you were touring today?” I asked, hoping to coax her out of her silence. Valerie shook her head and shrunk into her hoodie. She looked so frail, wrapped up in an oversized hoodie and jeans that were five times too big for her small frame.

“No. No, today was fine. Until we got the room assignments.” She said, quietly.

“Okay… So what happened when you got the room assignments?”

“There were only two beds for the four of us. So, I figured we’d just each share a bed, right? And we were about to get ready for bed when Aikya—” Valerie took a deep breath before continuing, “Aikya told Gina that she wanted to sleep with her. But, Gina was going to share with Michelle. So I said that I would share with Aikya. But, she flipped out. She said,” another pause, another deep breath. “She said she couldn’t share a bed with a dyke.”

Valerie looked so small, so alone in that moment. It took everything I had not to run back to the hotel and yell at the other girls. Aikya was a senior, which made the fact that she was harassing a sophomore even more deplorable.

“Are you gay?” I asked her, hoping that being blunt wouldn’t push Valerie to withdraw into herself even farther.

“No!” she burst out.

“It’s perfectly fine if you were. You know that, right?” I asked. “There are plenty of gay kids at Lake Vermont. Faculty too.”

“I’m not gay!” She insisted. “I’m really not. I just… It just hurts, you know? I don’t get it.”

“I know. I know exactly how much it hurts. I dealt with that daily when I was a kid, and there were some days when I just wanted to give up. But, Valerie you’re a bright girl, you know that—”

“No. That’s the thing. I’m not.” She interrupted. I could tell that she was trying to imply something, but I wasn’t sure what she meant.

“You’re not what?”

“I’m not… I’mnotagirl.” She whispered quickly. “That’s why they think I’m gay. Because I do like girls. I’m just not one.”

Suddenly the conversation I had with Blaine earlier made sense. Of course it would be difficult connecting with a character if a teacher kept giving you the wrong gender to work with.

“Oh, Valerie.” I sighed, “Thank you so much for trusting me with this.”

“Besides Mr. Anderson, you’re the only one who knows. I tried to tell my mom, but she didn’t understand. She just told me I was gay. And I know there’s not anything wrong with being gay, but…”

“But you know that you’re not. I understand. When I was a freshman, in Ohio of all places, I was even more effeminate than I am now. Most people knew I was gay, but so many people just assumed that I was transgendered. Even a few of my teachers called me Lady.” I reached forward and grabbed Valerie’s hand. “I know it’s hard. And it probably always will be. Sometimes, it will be so hard that it doesn’t seem logical to keep going. But, it’s so, so worth it. High school sucks. You have no privileges. So much is expected from you. But life isn’t high school. In a few years, you’ll be gone. And then you’ll be able to live the life you deserve.”

“I… I really hope so. I want that so much, you know? And I know that I’d never, you know, do anything. But, sometimes it’s so tempting. I live in Jubilee, one of the sophomore girls’ dorms. Everyone gets so uncomfortable around me in the bathrooms. It’s like I’m a predator. But that’s not the worst part. I hate myself. I hate my body. I hate these,” She gestured towards her chest with disgust. “I feel wrong, every day and all the time. Mr. Anderson says that someday, maybe I could transition. If I want. But that’s just as scary as staying this way, you know?”

“I think that there’s a GSA at Lake Vermont.” I suggested, “Maybe you could look into that? I know that when I was in high school, my school’s Gay-Straight alliance was one of the places I felt safest.”

“Yeah, Lake Vermont has this group called Safe Place. Mr. Anderson’s our faculty advisor. I went last year, a few times. But it was hard. Because everyone was so happy. It’s okay to be gay here, as long as you’re open about it. But, they all thought I was hiding in the closet. Which I am, but not for the way they think. They thought I was ashamed or something, and it made everyone awkward around me.” Valerie sighed. “So, now I just talk to Mr. Anderson when it gets to be too much. He’s great, you know? He gets me. Like you do, but…” Valerie sighed. “Sometimes, he just makes it harder. Like, he makes me think about stuff I don’t want to.”

“Like?”

“Like, he makes me say it. Say that I’m,” Valerie looks around quickly before whispering, “transgendered. He makes me use the right words and stuff. And, he makes me decide what I want to be called. Did you know some people prefer ‘zir’ instead of ‘his’ or ‘her’?”

“Yes, I did know that. What do you prefer?” I asked. “What do you want me to call you?”

“I don’t want to be a her, or a she. But I’m not ready to be a guy yet either. I’m scared. Of what people will think, mostly. And, well, I’m scared that I’m not manly enough to be a guy. I like acting and dancing. I cry all the time. I just feel like I should be a guy, but no matter how hard I try, it’s not good enough.”

“If you think you should be a guy, you are.” I said. “It’s as simple as that. You don’t have to fit a norm. Look at me. I’m obsessed with musical theatre, I sing higher than most sopranos, and I’m obsessed with fashion. But, if you ask any of my ex-boyfriends, they will assure you that I am indeed all male.”

Valerie chuckled at that. “I think, for now at least, I’ll stick to being a ‘she’ and a ‘her’. Someday, someday maybe I’ll have the courage to start transitioning. But, not yet.”

“That’s perfectly fine. There’s no rule that says you have to at all. It’s just up to what you feel comfortable with.” I stood up and walked to Valerie, enveloping her in a hug. She hugged me back fiercely. “Come on. Let’s go back to the hotel. You can sleep on the couch in the room that Mr. Anderson and I are sharing. I’m going to have a little discussion with Aikya now.”

“No!” Valerie burst out. “No, no please don’t. That will make it even more awkward. Please don’t say anything.”

I pondered this. Letting Aikya get away with her hurtful comments seemed so wrong, but Valerie seemed so fragile right now that I worried about pushing her.

“Fine. But if Mr. Anderson thinks we should do something about it, we will, okay?” I compromised. I knew that this wasn’t an issue that could be resolved easily, but I had to do everything in my power to try. Valerie deserved a teacher that cared enough about her to try, at least. So, with my former worries about whether or not Rachel was right about Blaine pushed to the back of my mind, I headed back to the hotel with Valerie.