Chapter 17.
The truth comes out.

I was still staring at the text. Trying to find an answer that would come across great, not to needy, but not pushing him away. "You absolute idiot." I grumbled to myself. 

Kurt:

No worries :)

That was pathetic, Kurt. 

Blaine:

I wasn't a dick, was I?

I bit the edge of my lip, squeezing my eyes shut.

Kurt:

No Blaine. You wasn't a dick. Don't worry about it okay? :)

Blaine:

Did anything happen? I don't remember.

I woke up next to you.

I paused, the words taking a moment to process in my mind. So he didn't remember, great.

Kurt: 

No, don't worry. 

I grabbed the laptop from the side of my bed, sitting it on my lap. He didn't reply after that.

__

"Last night was fun. Someone come and cuddle the pain away."

Bowties has liked this post.

"What a surprise..." I mumbled.

__

Bowties; says: *Cuddles tired Kurt*

Kurt says: Thank you :)

Bowties; says: So no cuddles back? D:

Kurt says: I asked for the cuddles, I didn't say I'd give them in return.

Bowties; says: Meanie D:

I let a small laugh slip.

Kurt says: I'm not a meanie..So this secret identity. Have we met before?

Bowties; says: Maybe.

Kurt says: Tell me your name.

Bowties; says: Why should that matter?

Kurt says: Because it does, I want to know who I'm talking to.

Bowties; has gone offline.

I sighed, running a frustrated hand through my hair.

"You have a good time, Kurt?" Dad asked at my door.

"It was okay."

"You look dead."

"Thanks dad. I know. I'm going for a shower in a minute. Then I'll get some food."

"I'll make you a bacon sandwich. Perfect hangover cure." He chuckled. 

"Thanks, dad." I smiled, watching him leave the room. 

__

I opened the bathroom door, my clothes damp from the condensation. I'd towel dryed my hair so bits were sticking up in different directions. I could smell the bacon downstairs. I smiled.

"You must be Kurt!" She said. 

She had blonde hair down to her shoulders. Her smile was fake and I could tell that the posture was also fake. 

"This is Sandy, Kurt." Dad smiled. putting a sandwich in front of her.

She was sitting in the seat mom used to sit in. I narrowed my eyes, "Get off that seat." I snapped quickly.

"Kurt!" Dad gasped. 

"Get off my mom's seat!" I shouted, grabbing the back of the chair.

She jumped forward.

"Kurt!" He warned. 

I frowned, hands going in front of me. "She's sitting in moms seat! That's moms seat!"

"Calm down..." He sighed.

"I will not. She does not have the right to sit there!"

"Kurt, go upstairs." Dad grumbled. 

"I can't believe you." I shook my head.

"I said, get upstairs now!" 

"Gladly!" I shouted back. "Mom didn't deserve you. Throwing her out like she is just some bad memory.."

"Your mother chose me, at least I wasn't an accident." 

His face froze. his hands grabbing his mouth.

My teeth clenched, swallowing thickly. "What a lovely accident for you." I whispered, tearing were clenching to fall in my eyes. I angrily turned for the stairs.

"Kurt!" He called after me.

I closed the door on his face. An accident? Was I really an accident?

Had she lied to me, Had she only had me because she had to have me?

I was sat on the edge of my bed, her photo catching my eye. My body started shaking, anger and upset rattled through my body. 

"An accident?" I repeated, the sentence didn't clear in my head, it didn't make sense. "So you didn't want me?" I kicked the side drawer, the picture falling off with a crash. "An accident!?" I screamed, "No wonder you don't get me, no wonder you can't bond with me!" 

The drawers were open, inside the bottom drawer was a penknife my uncle had given to me when I'd told him about the bullies, I was ordered not to tell my dad about it though, he'd go spare at me.

I grabbed it quickly, checking around to make sure there was no watchful eyes. My scared eyes scanned the room, my chest only getting tighter, anger rushing through my veins.

Blaine's name started flashing at me, my phone vibrating on the side of my bedside table.

"Pick up Kurt, I'm sorry okay." His voice came through voicemail. "I'm so sorry, I acted like a complete jerk." 

The blade shaking in my hand, picking up my phone with the other.

"Kurt?" He asked out.

"I ca.. I can't do it anymore."

"Kurt?" His voice changed. "Kurt talk to me." 

"I'm just an accident. I'm different. Everyone hates me." I choked back tears.

"Kurt, I'm coming over."

"Well I won't be here." I sniffed.

"Kurt, don't you dare!" He warned. "I'm coming around, now." 

"Who's that?" Someone questioned in the background.

"I don't want you too." I whispered.

"Keep talking to me." He ordered.

I squinted as the blade scratched my skin, letting out a panicked whimper.

"Kurt!" He growled. "Keep talking to me!"

__

I heard a bang, the door had been pushed open.

"What are you doing here?" Dad shouted after him.

The footsteps were fast. Really fast. My bedroom door busting open.

"Kurt.." He breathed, 

I sniffed, hiding my face from him.

"Oh, Kurt..." He sighed sadly. 

He came forward, kneeling down beside me. His hands took mine, making me drop the blade. It fell to the floor with a thud. There was a little silence, him lifting my face with his finger agaisnt my chin, "So silly." He whispered. 

"It's just a scratch.." I whispered. 

"What were you thinking?" He shook his head.

"I'm just an accident..." I mumbled.

"What are you talking about?"

"The one person that made sense, didn't want me."

"Kurt.." Dad said, standing at the door. "Kurt, I didn't mean any of that."

"Didn't mean any of what?" Blaine asked, looking towards him.

"When we found out your mom was pregnant of course we wanted you."

I frowned. "You said I was an accident."

"You said he was an accident?" Blaine asked.

"I didn't.."

"You know how hurtful words can be? How much they can damage someone?" His voice was angry, his eyes hard.

"I don't think that's any of your business." Dad snapped.

"I care about Kurt. Of course it's my business!"

I looked at him. He cared about me?

"Dad, just leave. I.. just want to be on my own for a bit."

"No Kurt, I'm fed up of you pushing me out."

"I'm fed up of you acting like everythings okay. You don't have to be happy all the time you know dad, I'm sick of trying to cope with everything. Like it's all okay, like there's nothing to be scared !or worried about. I've got enough of that already and trying to find the words to tell you that I'm gay is hard because I'm scared you'll hate me" The words came out all at once, not making sense at all but it was out.

He stared at me. Blaine put his fingers between his eyes, and moaned a bit. "Wrong time." He whispered at me.

There was no right time.

Dad laughed. "You're not gay, Kurt. It's just a silly phase."

Blaine looked at me, "Tell him it's not."

"It's not dad. I like guys.. I like someone."

He didn't reply, raising an eyebrow at me. "Sure. Okay." He shrugged.

I swallowed, he walked out.