There's No Place Like Home
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And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going Previous Chapter Next Chapter Story
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There's No Place Like Home: And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going


T - Words: 4,651 - Last Updated: Mar 26, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 9/? - Created: Mar 14, 2012 - Updated: Mar 26, 2012
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Author's Notes: You might have noticed that each chapter is taking its title from a song that's been performed on Glee. I'm not doing this to suggest that this is a song fic or that these songs in any way provide mood or lyrical accompaniment to the chapter. Instead, the song title is chosen because the title fits the theme of that chapter of the story. For example, the last chapter was entitled "Try a Little Tenderness" as it mainly focused on Blaine trying to make Kurt feel better through cuddling and well...tenderness. This chapter title is in reference to Blaine having to repeatedly reassure a very sick and disoriented Kurt that he's not going to leave him. But I do have songs in mind for each chapter that provide a mood and/or lyrical accompaniment to the story. Definitely not necessary for reading the fic, but in my opinion, it will only add to the experience (although I'm biased because I absolutely cannot write without music). I don't want to give too much a way about this chapter up front, but stick around after the chapter for my music rec and explanation.

He wrapped his arm around Kurt, gently rubbing his back in the dark, wincing at the feel of Kurt's much too warm skin. "Sleep, Kurt," he directed. "I'll be here when you wake up." Kurt sighed and allowed his eyes to slip closed, feeling safe and warm.

 


 

Blaine woke up to the feel of a buzzing coming from his pocket. He looked around in the dark, feeling disoriented for a second before feeling a searing heat on his chest. He looked down, seeing the vague outline of Kurt's head snuggled cozily against his chest. "Shit," muttered Blaine to himself. Kurt was sick and he was supposed to be taking care of him. He reached down tentatively to brush Kurt's forehead and wasn't surprised to find that it was boiling hot. As Blaine stretched to reach for his phone in his pocket, he noticed with concern that his entire shirt was damp from what he guessed was Kurt's sweat. He pulled out his phone, seeing two missed texts from his roommate Wes.

From Wes (9:48 pm): Hey dude, where did you go? It's almost curfew, better hurry back. Don't want you and Kurt getting in trouble when we've got that big Warblers performance next Monday.

From Wes (10:09 pm): Blaine, where are you? I managed to cover for you during room checks. I told the resident director that you were in the shower. You owe me!

Blaine let out a breath of relief that since Kurt was a commuter student, the RD didn't check his room at curfew. They would have been in trouble for sure if they'd been caught sharing a bed together, even though Blaine had a good excuse. Speaking of which, he needed to figure out what was going on with Kurt. He grabbed the thermometer from the bedside table and turned to Kurt, brushing back his hair and softly calling out to him. "Kurt?" Blaine started tentatively. "Hey, I need to take your temperature. Open up."

"Mmm," Kurt moaned sleepily, opening his mouth while still half asleep. Blaine inserted the thermometer and grabbed his phone to type out a quick text to Wes.

To Wes (10:13 pm): Hey Wes, thanks for covering for me. I'm in Kurt's room. He's really sick and I'm taking care of him. I think I'm going to have to take him to the infirmary, so I don't know when I'll be back to the room.

As Blaine was pressing send on the text, the thermometer beeped. Blaine grabbed it out of Kurt's mouth, using the light from his iPhone to read the display in the dark. 104.2. Blaine looked at twice, thinking he had to be misreading it. He felt sick at the thought of Kurt getting so much worse in such a short amount of time. Blaine reached for the bedside lamp and turned it on, casting the room in soft light, allowing him to get a better look at his sick boyfriend.

Once the light was on, Blaine could instantly tell that the display on the thermometer had been accurate. Kurt's face was flushed and his entire upper body was damp with sweat. He had started to move restlessly in his sleep, presumably disturbed by Blaine's shifting away from him in bed. Blaine knew immediately that Kurt needed to see a doctor right away, if not take a trip to the ER. He would have to present a convincing argument to Kurt, as this was one fight he was not willing to lose, not with Kurt's health at stake.

Blaine brought his hand back to Kurt's cheek and began to gently stroke it as he tried to rouse Kurt. "Kurt? Hey honey, I need you to open your eyes for a few minutes."

"Mmffhh," Kurt mumbled, attempting to roll away from Blaine's touch so he could continue to sleep uninterrupted.

"Come on, Kurt. I know you are tired but I just need you to wake up for a few seconds, okay?" Blaine called, more insistently this time.

Finally, Kurt's hand went to his face as he rubbed his eyes sleepily before looking up at Blaine. "Blaine?" called Kurt confusedly. "Ughh, why is it so hot in here?" he asked drowsily. He reached down and touched his damp undershirt. "Why am I all wet?"

"Shh, it's okay, Kurt. You're hot because your fever is spiking. I just checked it and it's over 104. You're wet from sweating. Honey, you are getting a lot worse. We've got to get you to the infirmary, okay?" blurted out Blaine, expecting resistance.

But Blaine got no resistance from Kurt, an experience that somehow frightened him more than if Kurt put up a big fight. Instead, all Kurt said was "okay" quite meekly.

"Alright babe, do you think you can walk all the way there if I help you or would you rather I get the nurse and see if she can come to you?" Blaine asked gently.

"It's too far...Don't wanna move," Kurt slurred, his eyes half-closed again.

"Okay honey, I'll see if she can come to you instead." Blaine took the washcloth from the bedside table and wet it again, laying it gently over Kurt's forehead, hoping to cool him off a bit until the nurse could help him. Kurt moaned softly as he felt the cool cloth against his burning skin. He began to shift uncomfortably in the bed, trying to get away from the dampness before deciding to take off his sweat-soaked shirt.

Blaine watched as Kurt tried and failed to take off his shirt, his eyes still half closed and sleepy. "Here, let me help you," Blaine directed, easing Kurt into a half-sitting position and carefully peeling off his sweat-dampened shirt. "Do you want me to grab you another shirt?" he asked.

"Mhmm, yeah. Tank top. Too hot for anything else. Top drawer in my dresser." Kurt muttered.

Blaine nodded and began to rummage in Kurt's top drawer, blushing slightly as he realized that Kurt stored his tank tops and undershirts with his surprisingly colorful array of boxer-briefs, Blaine grabbed for a plain black ribbed tank top that was near the top of the pile and quickly brought it back to Kurt, helping him sit up enough to ease it over his head and pull it down over his feverish torso. Blaine noticed that Kurt's skin had erupted into goosebumps across his chest and arms, presumably from the collision of his sweat-dampened bare skin with the cool night air. As Blaine pulled down Kurt's shirt, he noticed him starting to shiver slightly.

"Mhmm...I'm cold. And hot. Blaine, how can I be cold and hot at the same time? I don't like it." Kurt said, his teeth starting to chatter slightly as chills overtook his body.

"I know, baby. I know. It's miserable. It's just from you running a high fever. You're getting chills. It's going to be okay, though. The nurse will help us get your fever back down, okay?" Blaine briefly wrapped himself protectively around Kurt, running his hands up and down Kurt's now bared arms in attempt to soothe his shivering.

"Kurt? I need to leave you alone for a few minutes so I can go track down the nurse. Are you going to be okay without me or should I try to see if Wes or someone can come sit with you until I get back?" Blaine asked worriedly, noticing that Kurt seemed to be more miserable and confused with each passing minute, likely as a result of the creeping fever that appeared to be going nowhere but up.

"Don't...need a babysitter. Just sick... But hurry back... Only want you anyways." Kurt mumbled, grabbing Blaine's hand in his and squeezing it tightly in his.

"Okay, Kurt. I'll be right back," said Blaine, pressing a quick kiss to his temple. "Don't move, okay? Just stay in bed. I don't want you passing out. Here's your phone. I've got mine on me, so just call me if you need anything. I should only be gone for five minutes, okay baby?" Blaine could hear himself rambling on and on, yet he felt powerless to stop as his chest was currently seized with worry at the thought of leaving Kurt for even a few minutes in his current state.

"'Kay...just go. Hurry," Kurt slurred, his eyes closing again as he fell into a fitful sleep. Blaine gave Kurt's shoulder a quick squeeze before standing up and leaving the room. He broke into a quick jog as soon as he reached the empty, quiet halls. The infirmary was located at the other end of the large dormitory on the third floor of Dalton Academy. Blaine jogged up the steps, taking them two at a time, wanting desperately to get back to Kurt as quickly as humanly possible. As he reached the third floor and rounded the corner, he saw the soft glow of the lights from the infirmary window come into view. He burst through the door, breathing heavily and obviously startling the nurse practitioner on duty.

"Goodness, can I help you?" asked the middle-aged woman whose name badge read Amelia Whitestone, NP. "Are you asthmatic?" she asked the wheezing, sweating student in front of her who sounded as if he'd just completed a 5K. "Can you tell me your name?"

"Sorry...no, I need help. Not...for me. Just ran...from dorm on...1st floor," Blaine managed to get out between gasps. He stopped and took a deep breath before continuing, trying to make sure the information he was giving was coherent. "My friend, Kurt. He's a new commuter student. He's really sick. He's been throwing up all afternoon and now's he running a high fever. It was 103 and he took some Tylenol, but he threw it up. But then he took another Tylenol but his fever's still 104 now and he seems like he's in a lot of pain and I just...I don't know what to do. Does he need to go to the hospital?"

"Whoa, whoa..." the NP cut in, sensing the student's panic. "Okay, back up. Where is Kurt now? I'll need to examine him first before we can decide about the hospital."

"He's in his room. 116. I can take you there." Blaine offered, feeling relieved that the NP seemed to be taking his concerns seriously.

"Okay, and what did you say your name was again? I recognize your face from the Warblers performances, but I don't know that I've ever treated you before."

"I'm Blaine. Blaine Anderson."

"Nice to officially meet you, Blaine. You did the right thing by coming to get me. Let me grab some supplies really quickly and I'll walk back to Kurt's room with you." The NP grabbed a small black bag that contained a portable vital signs machine, a few common medications, and an IV starter kit, as it sounded like her patient could use all of the above if he was truly as sick as his friend described.

Blaine led the way back to Kurt's room, walking as fast as he dared, the NP stomping heavily after him. He glanced at his watch, noticing that already 10 minutes had past since he'd left Kurt's room. His stomach was tied in knots at the thought of Kurt laying alone in the dark shivering and in pain.

As Blaine swung open Kurt's bedroom door, he was relieved to see that Kurt was still laying in the bed as Blaine had left him. His eyes were closed, but Blaine could see that his forehead and torso were covered once again in a thin sheen of sweat. Worse still, Kurt was moving restlessly in his sleep, his body tangled in the sheets and duvet while his head moved back and forth across the pillow, seemingly searching for someone or something he couldn't quite seem to find in his semi-conscious state.

Blaine was back by Kurt's side in an instant. He knelt next to Kurt's bed, bringing a hand to Kurt's right shoulder while his other hand found his left cheek and cupped it gently. "Kurt? Hey, I'm back. I've got the nurse with me and she's going to check you out okay? How are you feeling?"

"Blaine? Where'd you go? It's too hot. Let's go swimming." Kurt mumbled incoherently.

Blaine's eyebrows shot up to his forehead. He turned to the nurse, panicked. "He's not even making sense. He was talking to me just fine less than 15 minutes ago."

Nurse Whitestone simply nodded at Blaine's assessment, pulling out an ear canal thermometer and quickly checking her patient's temperature. She took the reading twice, once in each ear just to confirm the reading. 104.6. She turned to Blaine. "Okay, we're going to need to get him to the hospital. His fever is 104.6. If it gets much higher, he's at risk of febrile seizures and he's obviously got some sort of serious infection for his temperature to be up this high."

Blaine ran a hand over his face, trying hard not to completely fall apart while Kurt needed him. "Okay," Blaine responded. "What do I need to do?"

Nurse Whitestone responded to Blaine while she wrapped a blood pressure cuff around Kurt's arm and connected his finger to a pulse oximeter. "Can you tell me what his symptoms are? I don't think I'm going to be able to get much out of him at the moment."

Blaine nodded. "He told me that his stomach starting hurting him this morning and he's been feeling nauseous since lunchtime. He's thrown up everything he's tried to eat or drink since breakfast. His right side seems to be hurting him the most. He couldn't even stand up straight enough earlier tonight to walk from the bathroom to his bed. He also mentioned a headache."

At the sound of Blaine's voice, Kurt started to stir again. "Blaine?" Kurt moaned. "Blaine, it hurts. Make them stop. Tell them to leave me alone. I wanna go home."

"Shh, it's okay, Kurt. I'm right here. I know it hurts, honey. The nurse is here and she's trying to help. We're going to take you to the hospital, okay? Just hang on." Blaine tried to reassure Kurt, but he could see that most of what he was saying wasn't getting through to Kurt. Finally, he decided that physical reassurance might be more effective and took one of Kurt's hands in his while his other hand stroked Kurt's hair, hoping that the calming motion might soothe him more than his words were currently able. Kurt's body stilled at Blaine's touch, and he stopped struggling and laid still on the bed, allowing the NP to finally get an accurate blood pressure reading.

Nurse Whitestone frowned at her patient's vitals. Kurt's blood pressure was quite low at 90/70 and his heart rate was elevated at 120 beats per minute. Both were possible signs of dehydration and/or sepsis. She had a sneaking suspicion that her patient's diagnosis was appendicitis, possibly even complicated by an abscess or peritonitis, a condition she was all to familiar with having seen 1 or 2 cases of acute appendicitis in her position in the infirmary each year for the last ten that she'd been working at Dalton Academy. If Kurt indeed had appendicitis, he had to have one of the most severe cases she's seen so far, meaning that his risk of rupturing his appendix was probably quite high if it hadn't already. She decided to perform one final test to confirm her suspicions before calling for an ambulance to transport her patient to the nearest ER.

"Okay Kurt. Hey, I need you to open your eyes for just a minute so that I can examine you and ask a few questions," Dr. Whitestone called loudly, trying to rouse her patient to consciousness. She turned to Blaine. "Would you mind turning on the overhead light?"

Blaine reluctantly removed his hands from Kurt's hand and hair, standing to cross the room to switch on the overhead light. Kurt's reaction was immediate. First, his hands reached for Blaine in the dark, struggling mightily to make physical contact with him once again. When his hands did not find Blaine's, he reluctantly pried open his eyes which Blaine could see were still glazed over in haze of fever, pain, and exhaustion. Kurt could vaguely make out Blaine's profile in the dim light, watching in panic as Blaine headed for the door once again.

"Blaine? Don't leave. I'm sorry. Come back. I'll be good, I promise. Blaine, please? It's hot and cold and hurts and I need you," Kurt choked out, his eyes filling with tears. He felt so miserable. He wasn't exactly sure what he'd done to make Blaine mad, but he knew Blaine must be really pissed to leave him when he was sick in bed. Their date! That's right. He'd stood Blaine up for their date after making such a big deal out of it. He was such a bad boyfriend. He didn't deserve Blaine which must be why Blaine was leaving him. Probably for Jeremiah or some Banana Republic salesperson.

"Blaine? I'm sorry I stood you up for your date. I'll never ever do it again, I promise. Just don't leave," Kurt said, his voice breaking off into a sob.

Blaine flipped on the overhead light switch and practically sprinted back to Kurt's bedside, a hard lump forming in his throat at Kurt's guilt and panic. At the moment, he didn't really care about Nurse Whitestone or Dalton Academy's rules on fraternization between students or the fact that Kurt had basically just told their audience of one that they were dating. All he cared about at the moment was making sure that Kurt knew that Blaine wasn't mad at him and wasn't leaving him. Ever.

Blaine quickly side-stepped around Nurse Whitestone who seemed to be making a show of digging through her equipment bag, nothing in her demeanor suggesting that she was shocked by the implications of what her patient had just said. Blaine knelt down at the head of Kurt's bed, taking Kurt's face in both of his hands and gently wiping away the tears that streamed down his face with a swipe of his thumb.

"Kurt? Baby, look at me. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm not mad at you, sweetheart. You are really sick right now which is why you are feeling so miserable, but we're going to take you to the hospital so they can help you. But Kurt, I promise that I'll be with you the whole time, okay?" Blaine dropped his left hand to the bed and took Kurt's hot hand in his, lacing their fingers together and squeezing gently. "You feel my hand, Kurt? I'm right here. I'm not letting go again."

Blaine held his breath, waiting to see if his words were getting through to Kurt at all. Kurt's face relaxed minutely as soon as Blaine took his hand. Kurt's eyes finally found Blaine's, with him seeming to truly see Blaine for the first time since he'd returned to the room with the nurse.

"Blaine? You promise you won't leave me again?" Kurt pleaded shakily. "Because it hurts really bad and I need you."

"I promise, Kurt. Now do you think you can let the nurse examine you? She needs to ask you some questions, okay?"

Nurse Whitestone nodded her thanks to Blaine for calming her patient and began her exam. "Okay Kurt, can you point to the part of your stomach that is hurting the most? Where's the pain the worst?"

Kurt slowly reached down to point to a spot two-thirds of the way between his belly button and right hip bone. The nurse nodded as this only confirmed her suspicions given that her patient was pointing to the area directly above the base of the appendix.

"Okay, Kurt. I'm going to examine your stomach. I'm going to have to poke around a bit, but I want you to tell me if it hurts more when I push down on a spot or when I let go, okay?"

Kurt nodded, his eyes open wide in anticipation of the pain that he was sure was to follow.

The nurse reached towards Kurt's torso, gently lifting the hem of his undershirt to expose his abdomen. She watched as her patient's abdominal muscles tightened involuntarily just before she began to press against the area that he'd just shown her as the spot that hurt the most.

Kurt gasped as the nurse pushed down firmly against his stomach, feeling as if he was being stabbed with a rusty, serrated knife.

"Okay, I know that hurts. Just try to breathe. Now, I'm going to remove my hand and I want you to tell me if it hurts worse than when I'm pushing down, alright?" directed the NP.

Kurt nodded, his face tight with pain and his hand crushing Blaine's as he struggled to keep from crying out.

Without warning, the nurse withdrew her hand from his abdomen. Kurt had been anticipating a sense of relief as the pressure was removed from his side, but instead, he felt as if the rusty serrated knife he'd already been stabbed with was being twisted violently, scrambling his organs into one white-hot ball of agony. Kurt sucked in a shuddering gasp and let out a strangled cry, his whole body tensing as the pain shot through him, causing spots of black to appear around the edges of his vision as he fought to stay conscious long enough to ride out the wave of pain.

Blaine watched Kurt's face as the nurse palpitated his abdomen, swearing that Kurt's every wince and gasp of breath caused Blaine physical pain as well. He'd never felt so helpless as he watched Kurt's body jerk in pain, tears streaming down his face involuntarily. Blaine dropped his forehead to Kurt's as he wiped away the tears that continued to pool on his cheeks.

"Blaine...hurts," Kurt managed to squeak out between breaths as the pain crested and finally started to subside slightly.

"Shh...I know, Kurt. I know. You're going great. We're going to get you to the hospital so they can help with the pain, okay? Just keep squeezing my hand. I'm right here." Blaine choked out, feeling perilously close to tears but trying desperately to keep his emotions in check so that he could continue to reassure Kurt.

"Okay Kurt, I'm sorry. I know that had to hurt. It looked like it hurt more when I took my hand off your stomach than it did when I pressed down, am I right?" asked Nurse Whitestone.

Kurt could only nod, not trusting his voice at the moment.

"Okay, that's all I need to do right now. Listen, I'm almost certain that you've got appendicitis and I'm worried that it might rupture soon because your fever is spiking. I'm going to call an ambulance because we need to get to you to the hospital for tests and possibly surgery right away. In the meantime, I'm going to start an IV because you are dehydrated. Once it is in, I can give you some fluids and medicines for nausea and fever through your IV so we can hopefully get you feeling a little better. I'll also need to notify your parents. Can you give me their names and a phone number to reach them at?"

Kurt's eyes went wide at the sound of what was to come. Ambulance. Hospital. Appendicitis. Possible surgery. But most of all, he worried about what that news would do to his father who'd been hospitalized only months before with a life-threatening arrhythmia. His dad had done a lot to lower his cardiac risk factors with Kurt's help (and no small amount of complaining at having to give up his jelly donuts and mountain of salt), but he still suffered from occasional bouts of irregular heartbeats that seemed to be linked mostly to stress, His last arrhythmic episode which was thankfully mild compared to the episode that had landed him in the ICU had been brought on by the stress of finding out that Karofsky had directly threatened Kurt's life. Kurt looked to Blaine in panic, hoping that he could communicate his fears with only a gaze since he didn't currently have the strength to speak his fears aloud.

"Umm, actually, would it be okay if I contacted Kurt's dad for him? I'm pretty close with his family and I think it might worry Kurt's dad less if the news came from me." Blaine asked smoothly, knowing instantly what was worrying Kurt.

Nurse Whitestone nodded her head in agreement. "That should be okay as long as Kurt doesn't mind. Why don't I go ahead and call the ambulance and then I'll see about getting his IV started? Blaine, I'm assuming you are going to want to accompany your...friend to the hospital?" the NP asked sympathetically. Typically, she wouldn't allow a student to accompany a patient off campus without a faculty chaperone, particularly not after curfew. However, she knew enough of Blaine even though she'd never personally treated him to know that he was the lead singer of the Warblers and a model student who all the teachers and staff seemed to universally adore. More importantly, she could tell that her young, very ill patient was finding comfort in Blaine and given his fragile state, she wanted to do what she could to keep her patient calm and conscious. Besides, some rules were just made to be broken.

Blaine nodded gratefully. "Yes, I'd like to ride with him in the ambulance if I can. He's from Lima and it's going to take his dad awhile to get here, and I don't want him to have to be alone." Blaine turned to directly address Kurt. "Hey Kurt, hear that? I'm going to ride with you to the hospital, okay? I'll call your dad once we get you to the hospital so that he can meet us there. Just hang on for a few more minutes, Kurt. You're doing great."

Kurt could only nod as he still did not trust his voice to not break in pain if he tried to speak. He could hear the nurse in the background calling for the ambulance and repeating a flurry of technical information that he could only assume referred to him. He allowed her chattering to blend into the background and focused his attentions on Blaine's hazel eyes which were currently boring into his intently.

"Hey honey, how you doing?" Blaine asked quietly, intimately, making it clear that these words for Kurt's ears only. Blaine gently brushed back Kurt's bangs as he spoke, his eyes never leaving Kurt's.

"Dunno...scared. Tired. Hurting. You?" Kurt answered honestly.

Blaine's jaw clenched involuntarily at the broken sound of Kurt's voice as he answered, sounding pained, exhausted, and utterly miserable.

"Worried. Just worried about you. Frustrated that I can't do more to help. It's...Kurt, it's killing me to see you in so much pain and to not be able to fix it. I...I just wish...I want to trade places with you right now. You don't deserve this. Not after all you've already been through in the past few months." Blaine answered fiercely, wishing with all his heart that he truly could trade places with Kurt.

Tears were flowing freely from Kurt's eyes now, spurred by a mixture of pain, fatigue, and overwhelming love for his boyfriend. Blaine dropped his forehead to Kurt's, pressing his temple to Kurt's as the pad of his thumb gently swiped against Kurt's cheeks, brushing away the tears that were falling in earnest now. For a moment, they stood frozen in time, breathing the same breath as one. In the past few hours, Blaine and Kurt had developed an immediacy, a connection that went beyond words or physical connection, and Kurt continued to cling tightly to this connection to Blaine which felt as if it was the only thing tethering him to consciousness at the moment. Kurt could feel the creeping blackness at the edges of his vision, simply biding its time until the pain and fever overtook him completely. And while Kurt welcomed any respite from the pain which seemed to be increasing tenfold with every passing minute, he was terrified of sinking into the blackness, lest his connection with Blaine be broken, allowing Kurt to sink like an anchor into the deep black depths of his unconscious mind and body.

 

End Notes: Hi again! What did you think of this chapter? I always strive to make sure things are as medically accurate as possible in my fanfics. So, the exam the NP does in this chapter and Kurt's responses are actually part of the standard physical exam for suspected appendicitis. The area two thirds of the way between the belly button and and the right hipbone is called McBurney's point. Kurt's pain eventually localizes there which tells us that the base of his appendix is inflamed. Kurt tenses his abdominal muscles unconsciously before the NP even has a chance to touch his abdomen which is also known as involuntary guarding, another not so great sign. Finally, Kurt experiences rebound tenderness, meaning that his pain gets worse when pressure is withdrawn rather than applied to his abdomen. All of this is to say that poor Kurt isn't out of the woods by any means yet. Kurt's disoriented and in and out of awareness here which makes him all the more desperate for Blaine's voice and touch and we'll see in upcoming chapters how both characters tolerate even the briefest of separations. Reviews are love and it would make my day to hear what you think of the chapters so far. I welcome all suggestions and constructive criticism.As promised at the start of this chapter, my suggested musical accompaniment for this chapter: Cold Water by Damien Rice (Sample lyrics: "Cold, cold water surrounds me now. And all I've got is your hand. Lord, can you hear me now? Lord, can you hear me now? Lord can you hear me now or am I lost?") This song more closely mirrors Kurt's perspective. He's feeling trapped inside his body in that nightmare word between sleep and awake, being weighted down by his fever and illness. And the only thing that seems to be anchoring him to reality, to the present, is Blaine's hand which is why he panics and seems to be blindly searching for someone every time Blaine isn't touching him.

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