An Unspeakable Desire
Sarahbefree
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An Unspeakable Desire: Chapter 4


E - Words: 2,246 - Last Updated: Jun 24, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 18/? - Created: Apr 30, 2012 - Updated: Jun 24, 2012
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"Have you ever been kissed?" Kurt blurts, words rushing and tripping over one another before he clamps both hands over his mouth, eyes going wide in astonishment, heart practically leaping from his chest in pure shock.

Blaine's eyes also grow wide, lips parting a millimetre as if to speak, but it's too late, Kurt's speaking already, stumbling back off the bed, tripping over himself as he stands. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" he apologises, running both hands through his hair and resolutely not watching the way Blaine's tongue works to dampen the lips in question. "I'll just leave," he says, closing his eyes in panic, hands fluttering uselessly before he turns and heads quickly towards the door, face on fire with embarrassment.

And just as he's about to leave, one hand already curled around the door frame as if to pull himself out quicker, Blaine speaks, one simple, innocent, sinless word which sparks a jolt of desire so strong through Kurt's body that his knee's almost buckle. "No," Blaine whispers from his bed.

Kurt halts in the doorway, hand tight around the door frame, knuckles bone white as a thick, engulfing silence swells around him, in the distance he can hear the thrum of the shower before he turns. His eye's land on Blaine, sat cross legged on his bed, hands loose on his lap as he stares at the bed sheets. Kurt can see his cheeks and ears are red, and can't help but find him hopelessly adorable, feeling his heart calm and swell in his chest, his breath catch.

"Blaine," he whispers, taking a step further into the room. "I'm sorry," he says, shaking his head, "I shouldn't have asked that, I- I don't know why I did," he tries to explain, ringing his hands nervously before Blaine looks up, eyes locking on Kurt's for the briefest moment, beautifully golden.

"I guess it's kinda weird," he confesses with a half shrug, eyes darting down, every movement suddenly sharper now he can feel Kurt's eyes on him.

"W-what d'you mean?" Kurt asks, still stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, exposed and unprotected.

"I'm 16 and I've never been kissed…" Blaine shrugs again, a habit of his before sighing at his bed sheets and looking up at Kurt. "Isn't that kind of sad?" he asks, scrunching his face in embarrassment before his gaze slips to focus over Kurt's shoulder, unable to meet his eye.

"Hey, no!" Kurt argues, moving to the foot of the bed. "It's not weird or- or sad, loads of people don't have their first kisses till they're older than 16," he tries to assure him, wanting to reach out and touch him, cradle him and wipe that unsure, ashamed expression from his normally smiling face.

"How old were you then?" Blaine asks, eyes locking quickly on Kurt's, the question coming not entirely out of the blue because really, Kurt should have expected it.

"Urm," Kurt shuffles awkwardly back onto the bed, wanting to be at eye level with Blaine but leaving as much distance between them as possible. "Well," he thinks aloud, "when I was 15 I kissed a girl but I don't- I don't really think that counts," he says, earning a light laugh from Blaine who catches his eyes for the briefest second, before looking away again, and Kurt feels as his heart soars at having made him smile. "And then- then when I was 16 this jerk from my school sort of, force kissed me, I don't even know," Kurt shrugs, waving his hand at the concerned expression on Blaine's face. "And then later that year I er- I met a guy who was er, my first proper kiss," he shrugs again, meeting Blaine's half smile with one of his own.

"So you were 16," Blaine confirms, voice a monotone.

"Well yeah, but just because I was doesn't mean that's the- the standard age for first kisses or something," Kurt laughs nervously, picking at the seam of his jeans, feeling his heart jump a little with Blaine's laughter.

Silence stretches around them, the bed soft beneath them but the air thick with awkwardness, both incredibly aware of each movement the person across from them makes, the sound of water through the pipes above their heads and the closeness of their bodies.

"I want to," Blaine says after a stretch of endless seconds, voice full of conviction mingled with a hint of sadness, "but finding an eligible gay guy in Ohio is harder than you'd think," he laughs bitterly. Kurt doesn't mention that he was 16 in Ohio once too, hoping, just like Blaine probably is, for a handsome guy to come and sweep him off his feet.

"I could kiss you," Kurt offers before he's had a chance to think, his mind once again working faster than his lips and throwing him head first into the pits of hell.

"W-what?" Blaine asks, eyes wide, brow furrowed slightly, in confusion or shock Kurt can't tell.

"I- I meant, I didn't mean-" Kurt stammers, throwing his head back to look at the ceiling as he moves to push himself back and off the bed again, preparing himself to just gouge his eyes out, because anything would be less painful that this awkward, stifling, confusing conversation he's suddenly initiated.

"You could," Blaine suddenly says, urgency seeping into his tone as he reaches out and places a broad, warm hand on Kurt's knee, halting Kurt's movement, who instead just stares down at the hand. Heat seeps through the denim of his jeans, through to his knee, sliding up his thigh, spreading through his body until his fingers literally tingle from that small touch. When he finally looks up, Blaine speaks, "I mean, if- if you wanted to," he shrugs again, removing his hand, knotting it with his free one, swallowing when Kurt looks at him with wide, surprised, somewhat hopeful eyes.

"You want me to?" Kurt asks, unintentionally licking his lips as his eyes dart down to Blaine's; bitten deliciously red and painfully tempting.

"I… guess?" he says, sounding like a question as he watches Kurt for his reaction.

But Kurt just laughs, feeling tension roll from his body as he does so, smiling across at Blaine before speaking, "you don't sound too certain," Kurt teases, watching Blaine's eyelashes flutter as he laughs and the movement of his shoulders beneath his dark polo.

"I am," he finally says, catching Kurt's eye with blazing certainty in his own, while nerves makes his hands shake and apprehension coils like a snake within him.

"You are?" Kurt asks, needing to make sure.

But Blaine just looks down and nods at his knees, cheeks endearingly red as his Adam's apple works around a swallow.

So Kurt nods and swallows himself, edging forward on the bed, Blaine doing the same until their knees knock and Kurt reaches out to steady Blaine's still shaking hands.

His eyes dart up at the contact, suddenly so much closer, close enough for Kurt to count the flecks of green in them and the faint freckles over the bridge of his nose, feeling heat leak from his skin to fall over Kurt's. Kurt raises a hand, brushing Blaine's hair back from his face before tracing his hairline, unintentionally ghosting over that pale scar, watching as the boy's eyes flutter closed beneath his touch, lips parting with a sigh.

Kurt smiles at the reaction, watching just for a second as the boy remains frozen beneath his touch before leaning forward a little, eyes tracing the outline of Blaine's lips. Kurt's just about to shut his eyes, close the gap and infinitesimally tighten his hold on Blaine's cheek when Blaine speaks, the words like a secret against Kurt's lips. "I don't know what to do," he admits in a whisper.

Kurt can't help but laugh, resting his forehead against Blaine's and watching as his eyes flicker slowly open, momentarily startled by the proximity before his pupils grow noticeably wider. "You'll know," Kurt assures him, thumb tracing the shell of his ear, fingers threading a centimetre further into his thick curls, holding him close.

"Okay," Blaine finally says, swallowing again as his hands instinctively reach forward, not really knowing what to do with them and just letting them fall against Kurt's knees.

"Okay?" Kurt affirms, feeling his thigh muscles jump beneath the pressure of Blaine's hands, gripping a little tighter as Blaine swallows and nods. "Okay," Kurt repeats, watching Blaine's eyes search his own, breath skittering between their impossibly close lips, "close your eyes," he instructs when Blaine continues to stare, fearful but hopeful.

They stutter shut immediately, eyelashes fluttering as the hands on Kurt's knees tighten even further before Kurt finally closes the gap. It's chaste, just the simplest, sweetest, most delicate brush of lips, skin against skin, nothing really, but Blaine's grip tightens at the small contact, breath stuttering, pressing forward as Kurt pulls back.

Blaine's eyes blink open, confused and startled, lips still an inch from Kurt's who's grinning at the expression on his face, like he's both lost and found, wrecked from one kiss, one touch. "Again," is all Blaine says before he's leaning up, meeting Kurt's lips of his own accord, pressing harder as his hands inch subconsciously higher.

Kurt gasps in surprise, smiling against his lips before moving them together, close-mouthed and mostly dry as his hand runs further around Blaine's head, deeper into his hair before the boys lips part like an invite, warmth breath seeping with a moan from his mouth to Kurt's.

And Kurt takes advantage, he knows he probably shouldn't, it is only his first kiss after all, but Blaine's breath is warm, tasting entirely of boy with a hint of coffee and it makes Kurt's head spin in the most delicious way. So before he's really thought about what he's doing he's sliding his tongue out, brushing it over the sensitive skin of Blaine's lower lip, making him gasp and pull back. His eyes are hooded as he stares at Kurt for the longest second, in shock and want and confusion, lips kissed red, before he presses in again, nose bumping a little awkwardly as his enthusiasm triples.

And suddenly he's sliding his tongue out, repeating Kurt's action, a little too fast and wet but what does Kurt expect. So he meets him in the middle, slipping his tongue alongside Blaine's and feeling as the boy shudders beneath his touch, pressing forward forcefully, taking Kurt by surprise as his free hand scrambles back to steady himself against the bed, body aching as Blaine's hands inadvertently stray further and further up his thighs.

Then out of nowhere Blaine shifts, mirroring Kurt's kneeling position, messily detaching their lips with a wet smack, thighs opening as he edges slightly onto Kurt's lap, one leg forced between his knees. And Kurt can't help but smile as he stares up at the boy now a couple of inches above him; eye's dark from his touch, hair messed from his hand and lips red from his lips. Kurt straightens his back to take the press of Blaine's body against, before moving his hand from the bed to rest on Blaine's hip, anchoring him slightly over his thigh.

Blaine's straddling him now as he kisses Kurt again, moaning in the back of his throat, all hesitation and trepidation gone as his neck bows down to meet Kurt, who himself is craning up for more. Kurt can feel Blaine hard against his thigh, can't help but press up the tiniest fraction, feeling the body above him jerk and moan louder. Blaine wastes no time in slipping his tongue into Kurt's mouth, hands finally having regained movement as one presses sweaty against Kurt's neck, able to feel the frantic hum of blood beneath his palm while the other falls over Kurt's shoulder, palm splayed between his shoulder blades, pressing their chests together.

In the distance Kurt hears the sound of the shower turning off in the family bathroom, followed by the grind of a lock being undone. Hastily, and probably a little harder than necessary, he pushes Blaine off, their lips detaching with a smack. Blaine looks both confused and hurt as he falls back on his ass, thighs spread, landing on his elbows as he glances up at Kurt, who nods over his shoulder and leans forward to straighten Blaine's hair, inadvertently moving between his thighs.

Blaine's face is flushed with heat and embarrassment and a hint of pride as he laughs under Kurt's ministrations, earning a smile from the older man.

"Blaine?" Cooper suddenly calls, voice a noticeable distance down the hall, but that doesn't stop both boys jumping back.

Blaine quickly crosses his legs beneath himself, pulling his polo frantically over his crotch before calling back, "in my room Coop, Kurt's here." His voice is a little hoarse and he coughs to clear it, throwing Kurt a bashful smile, face beet red.

Kurt's shimmies back to the edge of the bed, returning his smile quickly with a reassuring one of his own, and then all at once Cooper's in the doorway, towel around his waist, teasing his brother's red face and demanding that Kurt comes and dresses him.

So Kurt stands, straightening his shirt as he does so and ignoring the slight tightness in his pants, Cooper's talking as he turns and walks down the hall, but Kurt's not listening. Instead he looks back into Blaine's room one final time, unable to resist smiling as the younger boy throws himself back on his bed, hands over his eyes, a wide, unrestrained, face splitting smile on his still red lips and a noticeable bulge beneath the yellow fabric of his jeans.

Kurt can't help but feel satisfied.


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THIS. IS. GOLD. Is all I can say.

Hi, I love your style of writing so much. You have such a gift. I read another of your pieces over on fanfic, the one where Kurt and Blaine meet in London and Blaine has a little girl. It's still my favourite fanfic. I love this one too, I can't wait to see how the story unfolds.