An Unspeakable Desire
Sarahbefree
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An Unspeakable Desire: Chapter 10


E - Words: 2,295 - Last Updated: Jun 24, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 18/? - Created: Apr 30, 2012 - Updated: Jun 24, 2012
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The day passes in a haze of a hundred smile and a thousand words, a million touches and infinite secret thoughts.

They don't really do anything special, just dot in and out of the occasional shop and wander the streets of New York with conversation flowing between them, mostly comfortable, sinking into occasional awkwardness when a silence stretches a moment too long, when finger touch unintentionally between their already overly aware bodies.

But eventually, somewhere after what feels like the five hundredth supposedly unintentional knuckle graze on Blaine's part, Kurt sighs over dramatically and makes a point of touching the thin skin of Blaine's inner wrist, stretching his fingers wide; an invitation. Blaine stares down, not looking where he's walking as his eyes focus on the palm offered to him. He glances quickly up at Kurt, who's staring down at him, smiling timidly. And Blaine smiles back, that impossibly wide smile that Kurt's quickly learning is a permanent fixture to his face, before opening his own palm and sliding them together.

Their fingers lace, fitting together easily and earning an almost silent little hum of pleasure from Blaine, feeling as Kurt's warmth spreads through his body from the point of contact. He begins to lightly swing their hands between them, watching them sweep through the air, the streets of New York City passing beneath them, and he just can't stop smiling. He's actually walking through the city he's always dreamt of, with a man holding his hand, a man he couldn't have dreamt up in a million years. This sudden realisation makes happiness swell so rapidly in his chest that it actually hurts.

"Stop that," Kurt says after a minute, stopping their hands mid swing and dropping them down between their bodies, still but for the natural movement of their bodies as they walk.

Blaine glances up, a little hurt, watching the profile of Kurt's face as he stares ahead. "Sorry," he murmurs, loosening his tight grip a little, his smile faltering.

Kurt quickly looks down, feeling his heart drop at the dejected look on Blaine's face, the no longer clinging feel of his hand against his own. "Hey, I didn't mean that like-" he hesitates, wondering how to say what he's thinking. "I meant that in a stop-being-so-impossibly-adorable sort of way, not a… not a stop-being-you sort of way," he tries to explain.

"Sorry, I just- I'm kind of excited I guess," Blaine explains, dropping his head to hide his smile, repeating the words 'impossibly adorable' over and over in his head.

"I know," Kurt says as he guides Blaine in front of him, avoiding a large group of tourists coming towards them, detangling their hands to plant his firmly on Blaine's hips, steering him through the crowd. "I can tell," he whispers, leaning forward to ghost his breath over the younger boy's ear, squeezing the hard bones beneath his palms.

He hears Blaine's breath stutter, his body pressing back a little as they walk, wanting to feel the solidity of Kurt along his spine. Blaine grins up at him over his shoulder, blushing when Kurt meets his smile. And then suddenly Kurt's guiding him back to his side, taking his hand and steering them around a sudden corner, dragging Blaine behind him as he pushes the door open to a small coffee shop.

Kurt pays for their coffee, waving Blaine off when he gets his own wallet out, instructing him to find them a table instead. So he picks a table by the window and sits, staring with a smile on his face out at the rush of life on the other side of the glass. He's not sure where they are, not far from the apartment, but no where recognisable to a non New Yorker. But the city is still achingly beautiful.

He watches people pass by and creates intricate stories in his head about them, a game him and Cooper used to play. There's the woman who's having an affair, the single parent, the runaway. There's the struggling artist and the successful business man and the free spirit. He maps out stories for each of them in his mind and watches as they walk, one step after another before they disappear into the crowd, into the sea of people, swallowed whole by the city as their story becomes just another mystery.

Before long though Kurt's sliding in across from him, stealing the spotlight as he hands a cup to Blaine over the table, following his previous line of sight to stare out the window.

"What're you staring at?" Kurt asks, eyes scanning the street outside where Blaine had been looking.

But Blaine just shrugs and smiles and sinks his eyes to the table, hands wrapping around the cup, unable to stop himself wondering about Kurt's story, what's made him who he is and how he's got here. Why he's here. He knows the facts but he wants to know the intricacies. He wants to know the reason behind Kurt's coffee order. He wants to know why Kurt occasionally smiles, small and delicate and hidden, to himself when he doesn't know anyone's looking. He wants to know why all the cups have to face the same way in the apartment, but most of all he wants to know the stories held in Kurt's fingertips and the secrets hidden in his eyes.

When Blaine looks back up Kurt's still staring outside, half his face illuminated by the sunlight, his neck stretched tight and pale and long. Blaine watches the curve of his lips as he takes a tentative sip of his too-hot coffee before he turns, attention focusing back on Blaine when he doesn't reply.

"Nothing," Blaine eventually says, still smiling a little, ducking his head to test the temperature of his drink against his lips, the strong aroma filling his brain as Kurt returns his smile through the steam of his own drink.

"So, what're you planning to do with your month in the Big Apple?" Kurt asks conversationally, and that's all it takes for the potential awkwardness of the situation to slink away, taking with it Blaine's thoughts as they're replaced with his overly enthusiastic voice, mingling with the warmth of the cup seeping through Kurt's palms, making his entire body thrum with second hand heat.

He lets Blaine talk long after their cups have emptied, interjecting every so often with ideas or stories of his own, laughing when Blaine laughs, inwardly crooning when he becomes particularly excited, rolling his eyes occasionally which earns him playful kicks under the table.

Eventually they leave and begin walking back to the apartment, Blaine once again accidentally-on-purpose bumping their shoulders and hands, obviously thinking he's being a lot more subtle. But Kurt just hides his smile and takes his hand, feeling him shuffle a little closer, the gentle pressure of his thumb rubbing over the knuckle of his own.

As they walk Kurt's mind works at a million miles an hour, tripping over stray thoughts, letting his imagination run wild, the occasional steady swipe of Blaine's thumb on his knuckle like a metronome as they walk. And all of a sudden his throat is dry; constricted. Blaine's touch feels all at once too hot, and not in a good way, making his palm itch to pull away. When they begin to near the building, Kurt discretely removes his hand from Blaine's, making to find his keys, completely missing the small frown which creases the younger boys brow. But by the time Kurt turns back around Blaine is just smiling again, as usual, choosing to ignore the little spike of hurt which flares in his chest.

When they get in Kurt begins dinner in near silence, shooing Blaine away when he hovers around, trying to help. "Just go and watch TV or call your parents or something, honestly, I'm fine doing this alone," he says, smiling tightly before turning back to the counter.

"But I- I want to help…" Blaine trails off quietly, watching the swift movement of Kurt's hands as he dices vegetables.

"Honestly, I'm fine," Kurt repeats, glancing to his left where Blaine is leant, looking downcast. He drops the knife in his hand with a sharp clatter before turning to properly face Blaine, "okay, spit it out, what's wrong?" he asks, voice maybe a little too sharp.

Blaine's head snaps up, expression confused. "Are you… mad at me or something?" he asks, dragging his bottom lip between his teeth, a gesture which doesn't go unnoticed by Kurt.

"No, I'm not mad. Why would I be mad?" Kurt says all at once.

"I dunno, you just, we were fine and then," Blaine shrugs mid sentence, a gesture which floods Kurt's mind with so many memories of the exact same shrug, and suddenly he feels as all his unexplainable fear dissolves before Blaine's even finished speaking, "you've pushed me away all of a sudden," he finishes, avoiding Kurt's eyes and focusing on the hardwood floor.

And because of this he doesn't see the gentle slump of Kurt's shoulders, the long breath he releases or the way his eyes soften around the edges. But he does see as Kurt's arms rise either side of him and drag him into a hug, and instantly his body relaxes into the feel of Kurt's, an odd sense of calm washing over him.

"Sorry," Kurt murmurs into his hair, "walking back I just sort of remembered the fact that you're my best friends little brother and I sucked your dick this morning. I had a bit of an internal panic attack," Kurt explains, trying to laugh while still panicking a little.

Blaine snorts into Kurt's shoulder, his body shaking as he laughs before pulling back and looking up at Kurt. "Are you still panicking?" Blaine asks with a smile, but a serious edge to his voice.

"No I… okay yeah I'm still panicking. I mean, it was bad enough in Ohio when I- when we kissed but now… Coop would literally kill me," Kurt tries to explain.

"Well, I mean… It's not like I'm going to tell Cooper," Blaine says, "if that makes you feel any better?"

"I- yeah, yeah, I'm just being overly dramatic," Kurt assures him, rubbing a hand down his own face.

"And I guess- I mean, it's not like- like anything else has to- is going to happen? I mean, just…" Blaine trails off nervously, his heart picking up speed in his chest, because fuck, he wants more to happen. He wants a lot more to happen, even if it's just stolen kisses and hand holding, he can't stop himself from wanting those things. But if it's going to make Kurt uncomfortable, he's more than willing to not want those things. Or to tell himself that.

"Do you want anything else to happen?" Kurt asks then, his eyes searching Blaine's, who just stares up blankly, eyebrows raised and internally screaming 'yes' at the top of his lungs.

"I… do you?" he asks tactfully, not very subtly diverting the attention away from himself.

Kurt laughs loudly at his awful diversion, clamping a hand over his mouth to hold in the noise he's just made. But that just makes Blaine's face split into his trademark grin, laughter erupting from his body, and for a moment they just stand and laugh at each other and the situation and especially the conversation.

Then in the distance they hear the sound of the front door slamming shut, followed not long after by Cooper appearing in the doorway, no doubt having heard their laughter, because he too has a massive grin on his face. "Whatcha laughing at?" he asks cheerfully as he drops his bag by the door and slides into a seat at the breakfast bar, leaning down on his arms and watching Kurt and Blaine with a curious expression.

"Nothing, nothing," Kurt assures him, turning back to the vegetables he was dicing, "we were just talking about that time you streaked down the street for 20 bucks," Kurt says off the top of his head.

This makes Blaine laugh louder again, and Kurt turns just in time to catch his eye, sharing a small smile while Cooper mutters, "oh yeah," wistfully behind them, staring into the distance as if reminiscing. "So…" he says after a short pause, "what did you do today?" he asks his brother.

"Oh, I er-" Blaine begins nervously, something Kurt quickly picks up on before happily taking over for him.

"Blaine and I just went out for a bit, just shown him around the neighbourhood, got coffee," he explains, his back still to Cooper.

"Eurgh," Cooper groans, "did he make you go shopping and carry all his bags?" he asks Blaine seriously, "he always does that to me, and then he thinks buying me a pretzel will make up for it. Which it really, really doesn't by the way Kurt," Cooper finishes, shaking his head at Blaine in disapproval.

"Cooper, I have never once made you come shopping with me. You tend to just complain when I don't invite you and then bully me into letting you come," Kurt says, shooting a scowl over his shoulder. "And stop sitting there being a useless lump and come and help me," he adds, earning a louder groan, followed by the pad of feet across wood.

Cooper walks around the counter and into the kitchen, throwing an arm around Blaine's shoulder and ruffling his hair playfully, making Blaine complain and pinch at his waist. "Set me to work Captain," he says to Kurt, when Kurt turns around he salutes exaggeratedly and accidentally knocks over a fruit bowl, oranges and apples scattering over the counter and bouncing off onto the floor.

Kurt raises a disdainful eyebrow at the brothers, both of whom are failing to hide their smiles, before he huffs and turns his back on them, continuing with dinner. He listens as they shuffle to retrieve the fruit, giggling and whispering under their breath, and Kurt can't help the small smile which graces his face when he hears a gentle little laugh from Blaine.

Yes, he thinks, I definitely want more to happen.

End Notes: A/N: Just a quick note, I've got about another two chapters after this written already, but I've hit a bit of a block. It's nothing huge, I'm slowly working around it but I figured I should let you know so, if updates become even more irregular that's why. That and the fact that this month is actually really busy for me so, my free time for writing will actually be significantly cut. I guess I just wanted to warn that updates might take a little longer, but I promise in about three weeks I will have a lot more time and will be able to update a lot more often. All that's left to say then is thank you to every one reading and reviewing and I hope you can forgive me for any upcoming delays :)

Comments

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Oh no, not delays :'( oh well, thanks for warning me! This chapter is GLORIOUS! Love it! Thanks! Loving the cuteness of the relationship starting to evolve. x t

Your smut is HOT AS HELL. Really love the love/lust building between these two....how soon until Coop catches them? LOL. Keep it coming! Thanks!