Underneath
RyleighHayle
I Don't Want To Hide - Part III Previous Chapter Next Chapter Story
Give Kudos Track Story Bookmark Comment
Report

Underneath: I Don't Want To Hide - Part III


E - Words: 14,761 - Last Updated: Jun 25, 2013
Story: Closed - Chapters: 41/? - Created: May 23, 2012 - Updated: Jun 25, 2013
784 0 8 0 0


And so this lengthy chapter continues…


Find me on Twitter: Ryleigh_Hayle

Or on Tumblr: RyleighHayle

***NEW*** - Find me on LiveJournal: Ryleigh-Hayle

I would love for you to add me and help me share my stories!


Check out Blaine's journal on Tumblr: Courage-Journal


*** TRIGGER WARNING ***

This chapter may contain depictions of violence, coarse language and non-consensual sexual acts.

~~~ This story is rated 'R'. ~~~

Viewer discretion is STRONGLY advised…


Chapter 27 Part Three

 

Bacon.

Pretty much the best smell in the whole world.

And this isn't even real bacon.

Well… real as in the 'pig' kind…

Blaine inhaled another deep breath as he sat on the stool next to the table in the kitchen and watched as Kurt tossed another strip of vegan tofu bacon onto the grill. It sizzled sharply, sending tiny specks of grease popping out onto the stovetop. Multiple thin intricate tendrils of steam snaked its way out of the grill, sending a fresh wave of the mouth-watering aroma through the kitchen.

Kurt reached up into the cupboard above the sink and pulled down a large crystal serving bowl and set it down on the counter in front of him before turning to face Blaine.

"Would you like to help me make the pancakes?"

Blaine glanced over to Kurt, whose golden hair was now fashioned into an elegantly styled coif, much different from the messy bedhead he'd had upon waking up next to him this morning. He couldn't help but allow a tiny smile to form on his face at the green apron Kurt donned, which covered the impeccably trendy outfit he'd chosen for the day.

He looked like the domesticated version of a runway model.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked again with a lifted brow.

Blaine's wide honey-amber eyes shot up to meet Kurt's.

"Pancakes?"

The curly-haired teen felt his cheeks warm just slightly as he nodded and stood up from his stool.

He walked over to the counter and stood next to Kurt, albeit a few inches shorter, and waited for further instruction.

"Do you want an apron?" Kurt asked. "You don't want to get flour on your pyjamas."

Blaine's face turned a deeper shade of pink, but this time a dull ache formed in his chest to go along with his flushed cheeks.

He looked down at the matching navy blue satin pyjamas he was wearing and his thick eyebrows furrowed into a frustrated frown as his fingers fumbled with a loosened seam.

I'm still in my pyjamas and Kurt is all dressed up, because Kurt is going to school.

Without me.

It was as though the weight of the world came crashing back down onto Blaine's already small stature.

The brief feeling of comfort that he'd finally attained was gone, replaced by a hollow emptiness.

A very dark and horrible emptiness.

Kurt felt the change immediately.

The warm glow that had been radiating from Blaine's skin disappeared instantly and was replaced by a chilling shadow as his shoulders slumped and his head lowered until his empty eyes were focused on the floor.

Kurt's face slid into a pool of anguish as he set the measuring spoons on the counter next to the mixing bowl.

He took a step towards Blaine and gently lifted his hands until they were placed one on each side of the shorter boy's hollowed cheeks.

"Blaine?" He whispered, not wanting to frighten him.

When Blaine didn't respond, Kurt took in a deep breath, trying to mentally prepare himself for his next action.

He knew that he needed to console the other teen, but if he was being honest, Kurt was as apprehensive to leave as Blaine was to be left behind.

However, he couldn't show Blaine his weakness. He needed to at least pretend that everything was going to be okay when he left him to go to school.

Kurt couldn't shake the horrible feeling in his stomach that it was going to be a long and rough day without having the curly-haired boy tucked close to his side wherever he went.

He knew he'd be worrying about Blaine for the entire day. He'd likely not focus on his schoolwork at all and it would end up being a waste of time to even be there.

But he had to do this.

Fake smile.

Fake confidence.

Fake courage.

"It's going to be okay." He lied through his teeth.

He hated lying to Blaine.

Blaine finally allowed his sad eyes to drift upwards until they met Kurt's and they held each other's gaze for almost a full minute before Kurt continued.

"You're going to be fine here, Blaine." Kurt whispered his reassurance, and to his credit, his voice remained steady throughout. "Carole is going to be here with you while I'm gone."

Blaine swallowed thickly, causing his Adam's apple to bob slowly as the lump of emotion made its journey down his parched throat.

Kurt's heart shattered when he realised that Blaine looked no more reassured than he had before his pep talk.

Blaine just kept looking at him with the biggest, saddest eyes that he'd ever seen, like he was waiting for Kurt to spill the perfect combination of words to make him feel better.

This time it was Kurt who gulped.

Damn it.

Why can't I just stay here with you forever?

Damn this all for happening

And damn your puppy eyes.

Those beautiful puppy eyes.

"I mean it, Blaine." He added, rubbing the pads of his thumbs down Blaine's prominent cheekbones gently. "Carole is going to be right here with you, you'll never have to be alone."

Blaine's eyes were glassy; Filled with an emotion that Kurt had not yet recognized.

He wasn't afraid of what had happened in the past.

He was terrified of what was yet to come.

Blaine cursed himself for being so weak.

It's only a few hours.

I can do this.

I need to be brave for him.

Blaine nodded into Kurt's hands slowly, unsurely.

But will you be okay?

He wanted so desperately to allow the words to stumble from his lips.

He longed for the ability to speak again and he cursed his brain for betraying him.

Talk to him.

Ask him if he's okay.

Blaine's lips parted just slightly and began to tremble as he searched down to the deepest depths of himself to summon the strength and find the words he craved to speak.

Kurt seemed to recognize his attempt and he lowered one hand until his fingers came to rest on top of Blaine's and he gave them a gentle squeeze, sending the boy every ounce of courage he could spare.

Blaine's eyebrows knit in obvious concentration, as he seemed to be carefully formulating his sentence structure in his mind.

Tell him you're worried about him.

It's Kurt. He'll understand.

Tell him - Something.

Anything.

Stop hiding behind the silence.

Blaine finally looked back up into Kurt's eyes from underneath the long dark curls that framed his face and took in a staggered breath.

Kurt's eyes widened and his pulse quickened inside of his veins.

He's… going to talk to me.

Blaine ran his tongue gently over his chapped lips before swallowing once more and allowing his mouth to fall open slightly as he urged his vocal cords to cooperate.

"I-…"

The weakness in Blaine's voice surprised himself and he closed his eyes and cleared his throat.

If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this properly.

Kurt stared into Blaine's amber eyes, held his hand and gave him a tiny nod of encouragement.

Please… Please go on.

I just need to hear your voice.

"K-Kurt…" Blaine's voice stuttered just slightly as he began. "I…"

"Good morning boys! What's for breakfast?"

Blaine gasped and flinched violently as the unexpected voice shrilled from close behind him.

Kurt reached for him instinctively as Blaine's strangled words fell from his lips, long forgotten and he clenched his eyes closed, trying desperately not to cry out.

As she watched the two boys engage in the awkward embrace, Carole Hudson couldn't help but feel as though she'd unintentionally interrupted a very important moment.

Kurt's eyes met her own as he clutched the trembling teenager in front of him tightly to his chest.

She raised an eyebrow hopefully, but all optimism was dashed when Kurt responded with the subtlest of headshakes.

Blaine was most definitely not okay.


Breakfast was awkward and silent.

After they'd finally finished, Carole cleared the breakfast items from the table before strategically disappearing into the living room while Kurt simply sat with Blaine at the table. He didn't say a word.

Neither of them did.

But rather, Kurt held his hand and pressed gentle circles into the back of Blaine's fingers with his thumb.

They were delaying the inevitable. Kurt knew this for sure.

He knew that he would eventually have to walk out the door and leave the broken boy behind.

It burned his heart to think that he would be doing the exact thing he promised to never do again.

He'd sworn to Blaine that he'd never leave him.

That he'd never have to be alone.

That Kurt would always be there for him… no matter what.

But aside from dropping out of school to take care of him (which his father would surely never allow – he'd already asked), there was nothing more he could do.

He had to go.

He just hoped that Blaine would remember that no matter what – he was coming back.

He'd been neglected by so many in his life already… There was no doubt in Kurt's mind that Blaine would have some serious abandonment issues bubbling inside his chest right now.

Several more minutes passed until Kurt glanced up at the clock on the kitchen wall and sighed.

It's time.

Blaine obviously realized it too because a shiver snaked up his spine at that exact moment.

He risked a look up at Kurt as tears stung the corners of his eyes.

Don't freak out.

Fake it.

Pretend that you're okay.

He doesn't need to see you panic again.

Neither of them moved.

Both teenagers just wished that time would stop and they could just stay together for a little while longer.

Just one more minute.

Kurt finally shook himself, realizing that if he delayed any longer, he'd surely be late for class.

As if I'd care.

He stood up from his chair slowly; leaving his hand knit closely inside of Blaine's and stood in front of him, unsure of what to say.

Finally Kurt pulled his phone out of his pocket, as though confirming for both himself and Blaine that he'd keep it close.

"Do you have your phone?"

Blaine nodded. He reluctantly released his fingers from where they were warmly entwined with Kurt's and reached inside his sling before pulling out his black iPhone.

"Text me." Kurt instructed, his voice wavering. "For anything. At anytime."

Blaine gulped and nodded slowly once again, causing Kurt's chest to ache.

He's trying so hard to be brave.

"I'm not even going to keep it in my pocket. I'll have it in my hand all day, okay?" Kurt explained. "So I swear I won't miss it if you text me. I'll answer right away, no matter what."

Another nod.

Fake it.

Fake it.

Fake it.

Finally, Blaine tucked his phone safely back into the sleeve of his sling and stood up from the chair until he was standing in front of Kurt once again.

"You're going to be okay, right?" Kurt asked hopefully, trying to keep the emotion from drowning out his own voice.

Blaine struggled to force a neutral-looking mask to his face as he nodded.

Kurt knew that look.

It was the facade that spoke a thousand words.

I'm not really okay, but I'm going to pretend that I am because I don't want to upset anybody.

Kurt sighed.

Dear sweet Blaine.

Always concerned about everyone but yourself.

As if on cue, Blaine reached up and gently ghosted his finger down the side of Kurt's neck.

He'd removed the bandage today.

Even though Carole had removed the remaining stiches a few days prior, the large gash on the left side of Kurt's neck was still incredibly noticeable. Although it wasn't as red and angry-looking as it had been the first time Blaine had seen it, the scar still managed to send a torrent of chills crawling up his spine.

Kurt's constant reminder of what had happened that day in the motel room.

Blaine winced as a stab of guilt flooded his veins.

The beautiful canvas that had been Kurt's flawless porcelain skin would forever be marred because of him.

The gentle touch of Blaine's fingertip sent a shiver up Kurt's spine.

He knew precisely what was going on inside Blaine's mind at that exact moment.

"It's okay, Blaine." He whispered softly. "I'll be safe."

Blaine's breath caught in his throat and his eyes widened, as though he wasn't expecting Kurt to pick up on his mobid train of thought.

He looked deep into Kurt's gorgeous glasz eyes as moisture gathered at the corners his own.

Do you promise?

Kurt smiled, and for the first time that morning, there was no hint of false bravado.

"I promise."

Kurt's words seemed to relax Blaine, just slightly. His shoulders became less tense and the tiny speck of fear and uncertainty dissipated from within his amber eyes.

"I have to go now." Kurt announced finally. "I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?"

Blaine followed him to the front entrance, still clinging desperately to his hand in a futile attempt to convince Kurt to stay.

The older teen reluctantly let go of Blaine's fingers and shrugged on his sweater before he picked up his messenger bag and swung it up onto his shoulder as Carole stepped into the foyer.

"Ready to go, sweetheart?" She asked quietly.

She undoubtedly knew the real answer, but as expected, Kurt forced a smile and nodded.

Carole took this opportunity to take a step closer to Blaine and set a gentle hand on his shoulder. She hoped that if she showed Blaine that she was indeed here to stay with him that it might make his transition easier.

Blaine dropped his gaze to look towards Carole's hand, momentarily allowing his eyes to leave Kurt's.

He knew it was time.

Kurt has to go now.

He'll be safe.

He has to be.

He drew in a staggered breath as he watched Kurt pull on his boots and wrap his favourite brown cashmere scarf snuggly around his neck.

What if he's not okay?

What if Karofsky tries to hurt him again?

What if Sebastian…

Kurt finished tying his boots and stood up once again.

He was ready to go.

Only… he wasn't.

They stood in the doorway staring at each other for several seconds, until Blaine threw all caution to the wind and rushed towards Kurt and into his unsuspecting arms.

Kurt's eyes widened at Blaine's sudden and unanticipated bravado. He could feel the teen clench the fingers of his unslinged hand into the back of his heavy winter sweater as he nestled his face to Kurt's chest.

Silent sobs racked Blaine's body, and Kurt pulled him in tighter into his own. He brought his hand up and ran it through Blaine's tangled curls.

And they just stood there, in each other's arms.

Neither of them wanting to let go.

Ever.

After several minutes, Kurt reluctantly pulled away until he met Blaine's gaze once again.

The boy's hazel orbs were wide, darker than usual, and filled with emotion.

Kurt sighed.

My god, those eyes are not making this any easier.

He reached forward, took Blaine's trembling hand and placed it softly onto the middle of his own chest.

Blaine's eyes widened at Kurt's unexpected action.

He could instantly feel the warmth of Kurt's body radiating into his palm and the faintest of rhythmic beats thrummed gently into the tips of his fingers.

"Can you feel that?" Kurt asked softly, looking deep enough into Blaine's surprised eyes that he could feel his soul stutter.

Blaine blinked twice, regaining his composure, before nodding hesitantly. He was uncertain of what Kurt's intention was, but he knew one thing for sure:

He didn't want him to let go.

"That's for you." Kurt explained. His tone was gentle, soothing and soft. "My heart beats because of you, Blaine."

Blaine was stunned.

He couldn't have found the words to speak even if he wanted to.

"And as long as it keeps beating, I'll be here for you, okay?" Kurt added. His voice had remained consistently strong until the last two words, where it broke just slightly. "I promise."

Blaine sucked in a surprised breath as Kurt untangled his fingers from within his own and lifted his hands up, placing them one on each side of Blaine's face. Kurt leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to the shorter boy's forehead, allowing his lips to remain for a second or two longer than necessary before pulling away.

Tears had gathered at the corners of Kurt's eyes when he took a step back, causing Blaine's hand fall limply from where it had remained on the front of his chest.

They stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime, before Kurt forced a smile to his lips and blinked away the tears, which were inevitably on their way.

He knew that if he was going to be able to convince his feet (and his heart) to walk out the door, that it was now or never.

He nodded to Blaine, not trusting his voice to not betray him, turned around and stepped out the front door.

It was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.

The moment Kurt closed the heavy front door behind him with a click, his heart sunk and the tears he'd been fiercely withholding fell freely.

Please be okay, Blaine.


Inside the house, Blaine's stomach plummeted to the floor the moment Kurt had vanished from in front of him.

He felt his throat constrict and his palms began to sweat.

He could still feel the gentle beats of Kurt's heart on his fingertips.

He could still smell a hint of Kurt's conditioner and see the sparkle in his dazzling blue eyes.

But he hadn't heard the words.

He didn't say goodbye.

Blaine's heart ached.

Why didn't he say goodbye?

It took all of his will power not to run to the window and watch Kurt get into his car and drive away. He knew Carole was standing right behind him, and he was afraid that she would get upset if he got too emotional.

Pretend.

Fake it.

"Honey?" Carole asked softly as she moved up beside him and placed her fingers on the top of his shoulder. "Shall we go work on our puzzle?"

Her words barely registered.

Blaine felt empty.

All his mind could see was Kurt turning his back to him as he walked out the door.

He didn't even say goodbye.

"Blaine?"

Blaine sucked in a shaky breath and tried to sweep away the cobwebs of sadness that had encrusted his fractured heart.

Fake it.

Tell her you're fine.

Blaine nodded unconvincingly and had taken one step away from the front door when his phone vibrated and a soft, chiming 'ding' resonated from where it was still nestled safely on the inside of his sling.

His eyes widened and the ice crystals that had just formed around his burning heart instantly melted.

Kurt's text message tone.

Blaine fumbled his hand into the sling and hastily pulled out his phone. His fingers trembled as he slid open the lock on the screen and opened the message.

He let out a sigh filled with relief, emotion and reassurance as he saw Kurt's words.


I'm never saying goodbye to you.


"Blaine, honey?" Carole said, looking up from the puzzle. When the boy glanced up and met her gaze, she continued. "How are you doing? Do you need anything?"

She knew the boy was uncomfortable. The moment Kurt had stepped out the door she had noticed the immediate change in Blaine's posture.

He'd looked instantly disheartened.

Lost.

Alone.

The text message he'd received minutes later (obviously from Kurt) had perked him up some, but now, only an hour or so later, they were back to square one.

His wide amber eyes looked so sad.

Even his skin appeared to have lost some of its olive tone.

He literally looked sick.

Blaine had kept his phone in his hand almost all morning, constantly checking and rechecking the screen – as though desperately waiting for Kurt to call or text him.

She'd even seen him unlock his phone several times and open his messenger app; obviously checking to make sure that he'd not missed any messages.

She watched as the boy shrugged his shoulders noncommittally and refused to make eye contact with her.

Carole knew that Blaine would never tell her if he was hurting, or hungry or needed anything.

She knew that he didn't want to be a bother, and that broke her heart into a million more tiny fragments.

"Are you sure?" She asked. "Would you like something to drink? Are you hungry? You didn't eat much breakfast."

Blaine shook his head sadly.

He wished with all his heart that he could look at her.

Talk to her.

Carole had always been so kind.

He just wanted to drop the walls, open up his mouth and let the words stumble off his tongue.

Tell her how he was feeling.

The sadness.

The anger.

The betrayal.

The fear.

But he couldn't.

He didn't think he could find the strength to say the words.

To dredge up the memories that haunted him.

He also didn't want to burden her any further.

She'd already done so much.

She didn't need to hear all the gory details.

It was his burden to carry.

No one else's.

After Kurt left this morning, Carole had ushered him back into the kitchen where they both sat at the table and worked on her puzzle.

She didn't push him to talk, or fuss over him like an over-bearing mother hen, but she made sure to stay close to him, and she made quiet, one-sided conversation just to break the silence.

She relayed to him a few happy stories of new babies being born at the hospital, and about some interesting articles that she'd read in the paper that morning.

It was nothing spectacularly exciting, but Blaine found the near-constant buzz… nice.

Comforting.

Blaine picked up another puzzle piece and slipped it into place with a quiet sigh.

She's trying to keep my mind off things.

"I know you had a hard time letting him go this morning."

Blaine's eyes widened as he sucked in a surprised breath.

Or not.

He lifted his head once again until his anguish-filled eyes met Carole's.

Her chest ached when she saw the flood of emotion on his face.

Shame.

Embarrassment.

"Oh sweetie." She said softly. "There's nothing wrong with that. You two have grown incredibly close in all of this. You rely on each other now, so it's normal for you to miss him."

Blaine's eyebrows furrowed.

Normal?

What part of this could possibly be classified as normal?

He could feel the hole in his chest widening and his throat beginning to clench.

None of this is normal.

I don't even know what normal is anymore.

"I know that after everything that has happened that you have a hard time being alone, but Kurt will be back soon. I promise you that." Carole's voice was soft, but filled with obvious concern.

Blaine shrugged again just slightly, still not finding the strength to look at Carole again.

I'm supposed to be brave right now.

Brave for Kurt.

I have to pretend like I'm okay.

"You're worried about him, aren't you?"

Carole's words caught Blaine by surprise once again. He hadn't realized that she'd been watching him and had apparently noticed his internal struggle.

He nodded as he finally lifted his head up until his eyes met hers. Then he gulped down the lump of hesitation that resided in his throat and reached over beside him and grabbed the whiteboard.

It's his first day back. Do you think he'll be ok?

Carole's heart both warmed and sunk lower in her chest simultaneously.

After everything he has been though, it's Kurt he's concerned about.

He's so selfless and pure.

"Yes, Blaine." She reassured. "I'm certain Kurt will be doing just fine. I'm sure he misses you just as much as you are missing him right now."

Blaine released a breath as he set down the whiteboard.

I sure hope so.

After a few minutes of silence, Carole stood up from the table.

"Would you like to take a shower today, Blaine?" She asked. "I think you are strong enough now that you could do it on your own if you want to."

Blaine looked up at where she stood next to him with wide, excited eyes.

A shower.

It's been so long since I've had a real shower.

"I'm going to take that as a yes." Carole said with a smile.

She led him into the bathroom and then brought him a fluffy green towel and a set of comfortable clothes for him to put on afterwards.

"Do you mind if I have a quick look at your shoulder?"

Blaine hesitated momentarily, but then nodded and allowed Carole to help him remove the sling and unbutton his pyjama shirt.

When his bare chest was exposed, Blaine subconsciously sucked in his abdomen and his shoulders slumped down protectively.

The bruises and cuts across the front and back of his body were fading and nearly healed, but each one made Carole's heart ache just a little bit more. The hand-shaped bruising around his neck was gone, leaving only the faintest traces of greenish-yellow discoloration.

There were still several small round burn marks visible across his torso.

Cigarette burns that would no doubt leave permanent scars.

Carole sighed to herself.

He'll never be able to forget what happened to him because those scars will be a constant reminder.

Carole could easily sense how self-conscious Blaine was about his damaged body, so she tried to quickly wipe any negative thoughts from her mind and put on a smile.

She had Blaine lower his arm down to the side and was pleased to see that it didn't cause him any pain.

"Are you able to lift your arm out to the side?"

Blaine hesitated, afraid for what pain might follow the action, but he did as he was asked, and was ecstatic when he realised that it didn't hurt.

At all.

He looked up at Carole with wide eyes.

It doesn't hurt.

Carole smiled, not missing his excitement.

"That's so great Blaine! It's healing nicely!" She grinned. "It won't be long and we'll be able to get rid of this annoying sling and start working on strengthening the muscles in your shoulder again."

Blaine sighed a heavy breath of relief. It had felt like forever since his arm had been bound to his chest.

He'd felt so helpless.

So… unable to defend himself if need be.

"Blaine?" Carole asked softly, interrupting his thoughts. "I know this is an uncomfortable question honey, but I need to ask you. How are you feeling… down there?"

Blaine's face fell from excitement to shame within half a second.

Carole sighed. It killed her to see him flip between emotions like that. His shoulders instantly sagged and he looked defeated.

Again.

"You've been walking much easier lately and I didn't see you wince at all when we sat at the table. Are you feeling better now, honey?"

Blaine scrunched his eyebrows together, gulped and nodded.

"That's great sweetie." Carole praised. "That means you're healing down there too."

She leaned in and pressed a kiss to the top of Blaine's messy curls.

"See?" She said softly. "Everything is going to get better, sweetheart. I promise."

She took Blaine's hand and gave his fingers a gentle squeeze.

The teenager swallowed slowly before looking up at the love-filled green eyes beside him and reciprocated the squeeze just slightly as he nodded.

Carole smiled fondly.

"Now…Let's get you in the shower."


"I bet that feels better, doesn't it?" Carole asked with a knowing grin as Blaine padded back into the kitchen half an hour later.

She wasn't kidding.

Blaine felt better after his shower than he had in a long time.

He'd remained standing underneath the hot water for almost 20 minutes until it had turned cool against his battered skin. He could feel the stress and worry melt off of him, as it followed the millions of tiny water droplets flowing down his naked torso and circling around the bottom of the tub until they disappeared down the drain.

He felt fresh.

Rejuvenated.

Even though his legs felt exhausted from him standing for so long, his mind and soul felt re-energized.

If he was being honest, it might have had something to do with the fact that he'd used a tiny amount of Kurt's moisturizing cleanser to wash himself.

The familiar smell had invigorated his senses.

Made him feel safe.

Protected.

Blaine sighed contently as he slipped into his place at the table. His hair was still damp, causing his loose curls to hang down on his face, partially obstructing his view. He hadn't found the same detangling cream that Kurt used in his hair every night after his bath, but he wasn't entirely worried about it.

He'd gone so long without even having a proper shower, that he was certain that one day without detangling cream wasn't going to hurt him.

Carole immediately noticed that some of the tension was gone from Blaine's previously rigid posture.

"Would you like a cup of tea? I was just going to make a pot."

Blaine looked up at her from under his still-dripping curls and nodded.

It had been ages since he'd enjoyed a cup of tea.

"I was thinking." Carole started several minutes later after they were both seated at the table sipping at their cups of tea. "Since Thanksgiving is finally over. How would you like to help me decorate for Christmas?"

Blaine's head shot up and his eyes were wide.

Christmas?

It's almost Christmas?

Carole smiled.

"It is December, Blaine." She reminded softly.

Blaine's eyebrows furrowed as he considered her words.

Of course it's December.

I knew that… But… Christmas?

"You've had other things on your mind lately, sweetheart. It's completely okay that you forgot." Carole forced a gentle tone, but internally, she was saddened by the boy's reaction.

What poor child should ever has so much pain and suffering in their life that they forget about Christmas?

Blaine remained sitting at the table completely dumbstruck.

I can't be here for Christmas.

Christmas is for families and I don't…

"You're part of our family now, Blaine." Carole said at just the right moment. "Of course you're going to be with us for Christmas."

Blaine's breath left him momentarily.

Does she really mean that?

I get to stay here for Christmas?

"We're happy that you're staying with us, Blaine." She smiled. "You're always going to be welcome here."

Blaine's heart warmed and tears prickled at the corners of his eyes.

I get to be with Kurt for Christmas.

With…a real family.

"What do you say?" Carole grinned. "Shall we get started?"

Blaine nodded enthusiastically and the moment they both finished their tea, they headed towards the attic to gather the boxes of decorations.


It took Carole several trips up and down the collapsible ladder leading to the attic before all of the boxes of decorations were stacked neatly in the living room. Apparently she'd brought several boxes of decorations with her when she and Finn had moved in, so when they were combined with the boxes that Burt and Kurt already had… It took Blaine and Carole almost two hours to sort through them and decorate the house.

They set up Christmas themed table runners, cinnamon scented candles, wreaths on some of the windows, a silk Poinsettia flower on the coffee table in the living room and many glass figurines – including a nativity scene on the mantel.

The house was transformed.

Blaine couldn't contain his excitement.

He'd never seen a house look so beautiful before.

His own home had never been decorated for Christmas. Usually his family went away on a vacation over the Christmas holidays.

Last year, his parents had gone away and left him alone at Dalton.

But this year… He was going to spend Christmas with the Hummels and the Hudsons!

The Hudmels?

Blaine smiled to himself.

Yes. Definitely the Hudmels.

Carole smiled as she watched Blaine systematically arrange the figures of the nativity scene.

He looked happy.

Comfortable.

She'd been watching him closely all morning, and although there were a few times when he looked concerned, as though he'd been temporarily reminded of something bad, Blaine had otherwise been relatively relaxed.

She'd not even seen the teen check his phone in the last hour.

Carole smiled to herself as she peeled another sticker from the sheet.

I've succeeded in keeping him distracted.

Blaine set the final piece of the nativity scene – the teeny figure of baby Jesus – into the manger and turned around to face Carole with a proud smile.

"There!" She said excitedly as she placed the last Christmas decal on the window. "It looks great, Blaine! You did a wonderful job!"

Blaine beamed as he looked around the room. Everything was just perfect – the flower arrangements, the wall-hangings, the string of green spruce garland they'd hung up above the window… but he couldn't help but think that something was missing.

Maybe they didn't want to have a Christmas tree this year?

If he was being honest, the moment that Carole had asked him about decorating for Christmas, the first image that popped into Blaine's head was a giant green Christmas tree filled with ornaments and candy canes and a golden star on the top like he'd seen at the mall when he was young.

But, he was so excited about the rest of the decorations that he decided that there likely wasn't even space for a tree in the over-crowded living room anyway.

This is going to be the best Christmas ever.

Blaine was just about to go over and check out the three large unopened boxes sitting next to the piano when the doorbell rang.

Carole glanced down at her watch with a sly grin before looking over to Blaine.

"Honey, I'm just busy with this last flower arrangement, do you mind getting the door?"

Blaine looked towards the front door hesitantly.

But… What if…?

No.

Carole won't let anything happen to me.

He nodded warily and began walking towards the door, taking slow, calculated steps as his mind reeled.

I can do this.

I can do this.

He stepped up to the door and took a deep breath as the doorbell rang once again.

It's probably just a package delivery or something…

Blaine reached up and tentatively clicked the metal locking mechanism open and then put his hand on the doorknob allowing his trembling fingers to turn the cool, smooth metal slowly.

He cracked the door open carefully and hesitantly until he was met by something he was definitely not expecting.

A Christmas tree.

Like… a real, live, Christmas tree.

Bundled up with string.

Blaine's face conveyed his utter confusion until a familiar face popped out from behind the tree.

"Seasons greetings!"

Burt Hummel stepped out from where he'd been standing, effectively hidden behind the tree with a wide, infectious grin.

Blaine's eyes were round with surprise, and he remained standing in the doorway with his jaw hanging slightly open as he stared at he tree in front of him.

Burt chuckled at Blaine's apparent astonishment and stepped inside the house, carrying the tree.

"Well, I got a tree…" He said nonchalantly. "Need one?"

Blaine finally snapped out of his astounded trance and nodded eagerly.

A tree!

Mr. Hummel brought home a real Christmas tree!

Within ten minutes, they'd pulled the strings off the tree, fluffed out the branches and set it up in the living room after moving Burt's recliner off to the side of the room.

"Okay, you can let go now." Burt had just finished screwing the trunk of the tree into the tree stand.

Blaine released his hold on the large branch and stood back.

Carole stepped in next to him and put her hand gently on his shoulder.

"Come." She said excitedly. "Let's go look at it!"

The threesome backed up into the middle of the living room and looked at the gorgeous, full Christmas tree in front of them.

Carole clapped her hands together. "Ohhh! It's perfect!"

Burt stared proudly at the tree with a satisfied grin. "Yeah, well I couldn't imagine us celebrating Christmas without a real tree"

He turned to Blaine before continuing. "Kurt's mom used to always buy the tree. I'd always tell her to wait until I got home from work, but she never could. Then, the first Christmas after his mom died, I totally forgot about it. That is, until I saw little Kurt hanging his own special version of a Christmas ornament on his window shade Christmas Eve."

Burt walked over to the stack of boxes next to the piano and opened the one on top. He pulled out a tiny glass vial hanging on a string and held it up for Carole and Blaine to see.

"His mom's perfume bottle." He explained. "He always loved the way she smelled."

Carole smiled proudly at the man standing next to her and stood on her tiptoes to press a gentle kiss to the top of his bald head.

"So I pull him outta bed, throw a coat on him. I drive straight through a snowstorm, right down to the Christmas tree sale." Burt grinned as he continued his tale. "It was the first time he smiled since his mom died."

Blaine felt tears prickling the corners of his eyes.

Poor Kurt.

That must have been awful to not have his mom with him for Christmas.

Burt looked between Carole and Blaine, who both had tears welling up in their eyes. He cleared the emotion out of his own throat before walking back over to the box filled with ornaments.

"No tears on Christmas!" He announced happily. "This box is full of happy memories as well!"

He reached into the box and pulled out an ornament of a terribly ugly looking blonde doll and grinned. "Like our Christmas trip to Dollywood!" He handed the doll to Blaine, who looked at it sceptically.

"That trip was for Kurt." Burt explained with a wink.

He reached back into the box and pulled out an ornament shaped like a racecar.

"Or the redneck NASCAR trip, as Kurt calls it." He said with a smile. "That was for me."

Carole snorted.

"Hey!" Burt said in mock defence. "This is a really nice ornament!"

Blaine was all smiles, as he looked through Kurt's favourite ornaments.

So many happy memories.

"Well Blaine?" Burt said, nodding to the ornaments. "Shall we decorate the hell outta this tree, or what?"

Blaine grinned and nodded excitedly.

Burt chuckled and began walking towards the tree. "Lets hang 'em!"

It took almost forty minutes to finish decorating the tree.

But it looked spectacular.

The multitude of ornaments that filled the boxes of both Burt's and Carole's complemented each other perfectly. There was a good mix of gorgeous, expensive looking ornaments and homemade ones that both Finn and Kurt had constructed over the years.

It was obvious that both parents had treasured their children's creations.

Burt had helped them string a cord of white Christmas lights around the tree, which illuminated the ornaments perfectly.

And to Blaine's surprise, instead of a large golden star, like he'd seen at the mall, Carole presented a beautiful porcelain angel wearing a red gown that Burt placed carefully on the very top of the tree.

"Gorgeous!" Carole exclaimed as she walked in from the kitchen carrying a tray of sandwiches for lunch. "Great job fellas!"

Blaine looked up from where he sat on the floor cross-legged under the branches of the tree with a smile.

He found himself enjoying his place on the floor, directly beside the tree.

He could smell the woodsy scent of needles on the tree and when combined with the cinnamon from the candles in the living room… Blaine was filled with even more warmth and comfort.

It was perfect.

He'd just finished untangling the final string of Christmas lights (which was not a simple task with one arm in a sling.) because Burt had told him that they'd hang up the lights around the house after they had a bite to eat.

Blaine was ecstatic.

He never dreamed a house could look so warm and… perfect.

He couldn't wait for Kurt to get home and see all of their hard work.

Blaine's head shot up.

Oh my god!

Kurt!

I haven't checked my phone in almost two hours!

He reached into his sling to pull out his phone but gasped when his fingers grasped at nothing but his own arm.

Oh god.

It's gone.

His stomach plummeted as he stood up from his place under the tree with wide, terrified eyes.

What if…

"Blaine?" Carole sounded worried as she looked over to where Blaine was frantically patting his pockets. "Is everything okay?"

Blaine looked up at her with pure apprehension etched into his features and shook his head.

"Are you looking for your phone?"

His breath came in quick gasps and he looked around the room hysterically before nodding.

I can't lose it.

It's the only connection to Kurt that I have.

It can't be gone.

"I'm sure its here somewhere buddy." Burt chimed. "We'll help you look for it."

"I'm sure you just set it down while you were digging through all of the ornaments." Carole added.

The threesome looked around the room for several minutes; digging through the stacks of empty boxes, under the Christmas tree and everywhere else they could think of.

Nothing.

Blaine started to panic.

What if Kurt needed him?

What if he phoned for help and Blaine didn't answer?

"Can you re-trace your steps?" Burt suggested. "Where were you last?"

Blaine stopped circling the living room and thought for a moment.

He'd been sitting under the tree with the lights, but before that he was placing ornaments onto the tree and before that he was setting up the tree with Burt.

But they'd looked in all of those places.

It wasn't there.

Carole looked at the teen in front of her with concern.

His breathing had picked up and he was as white as a ghost.

Blaine was undoubtedly only one minute away from having another panic attack.

He'd been doing so good.

They'd managed to keep him distracted all morning.

She didn't think she could handle it if something happened and Blaine regressed again, erasing all of their progress.

We need to find that phone.

She thought back, trying to remember if Blaine had stepped away from the living room since their cup of tea following breakfast.

Decorating the tree.

Setting up the nativity scene.

Ha hadn't gone into the kitchen for anything…

What about…

The bathroom!

Blaine had left to use the bathroom a while ago!

She darted out of the living room, and down the hallway towards the bathroom, leaving Burt and Blaine standing in the living room speechless.

She returned seconds later carrying Blaine's black iPhone proudly in her hand.

"I got it!" She exclaimed, rushing over to Blaine and setting it in his hands.

Blaine fumbled with the phone, and unlocked it with trembling fingers fearing the worse.

What if Karofsky had hurt him again?

What if Sebastian showed up at school?

What if…


2 Missed Calls – Kurt Hummel

1 Voicemail Message

3 Text Messages


Blaine's stomach dropped.

Oh god.

He called me and I didn't answer.

He's going to think that he's all alone!

He's going to think that I don't care!

Blaine sucked in a deep breath and dialled his voicemail.

One ring.

Two rings.

Enter password.

"You have one new message. To hear the message, please press one."

#1

"Sent on…"

#1

"Hey Blaine! It's Kurt! Just called to check in and see how you're doing."

Kurt's voice sounded upbeat and happy, not depressed or frightened.

Blaine allowed his head to fall forwards as he breathed a sigh of relief and listened to the remainder of the message.

"I'm guessing that you're taking a nap, or working on the puzzle with Carole. That's great! I hope you're doing okay. I miss you. Things are okay here at school. Boring as always! I'm on lunch break right now, and then I'm headed to double history. YUCK! After that, I have French, but then I'm done for the day and I'll be home! I was thinking that we could maybe watch a movie tonight or something after supper. Think about which one you'd like to watch! Also – I made something for you this morning before I left for school. That's why I took so long downstairs. It's a CD of some really nice songs that I think you'll enjoy. They're songs that make me feel better about myself as well as some that I think might really fit what you're feeling. I left it on your desk. Not sure if you found it already or not? Anyways… I know how much you've been interested in new songs lately, so I thought it might help to pass the time today while I was away. Oh shoot! There's the bell. I guess I better go. Ms. Hansen is a complete cow if you're late. Hope everything is going well today! Call me anytime! Or text me… if you don't feel like talking… 'cuz that's okay too! Although, I'd really like to hear your voice! But no pressure or anything! I… uh oh... Your voicemail lady is telling me I'm running out of time to leave this message. Enough babbling! Talk to you soon!"

Blaine pulled the phone away from his ear after the message cut out.

He pressed re-play and listened to Kurt's message three more times before he felt content and saved the message and closed the voicemail app, wearing a huge smile on his face.

Kurt was okay.

He didn't get bullied and Sebastian never showed up.

He was… okay.

Burt and Carole had watched Blaine listen to the message the first time, and both relaxed visibly as they saw Blaine's tense posture soften significantly.

He'd been so worried, but a simple message from Kurt had washed away all of his fear.

Blaine opened his messenger app and opened the missed text messages.

There was one from Nick telling Blaine that he got a solo with the Warblers and two from Kurt wishing him courage and telling him about the hideous outfit that Rachel Berry wore to school that day.

Everything was great.

Kurt was safe.

There was a giant Christmas tree in the living room decorated so full that you could barely see any of its branches and the living room itself looked like a scene out of a Christmas magazine.

Blaine looked up to Burt and Carole with apologetic eyes and sighed.

I'm sorry that I freaked out for nothing.

"Everything is okay, isn't it?" Burt said with a grin. "No need to worry."

Blaine nodded and tucked his phone safely back into its place inside his sling.

"Now…" Burt nodded eagerly towards the tray of sandwiches on the coffee table. "Shall we have some lunch? I have to get back to the garage soon."

"One more thing before we eat." Carole announced with a smile.

Blaine watched as she walked over and pulled a handful of what looked like red fabric out of the last ornament box.

"Stockings!" She exclaimed happily. "We have to hang them on the mantle!"

Blaine's eyes grew wide as he watched Carole set out the stockings on the table in front of him. Each stocking was red velvet with white faux fur along the top and a name embroidered in elegantly scripted dark silver letters.

One was labelled 'Burt'.

'Carole'.

'Finn'.

And the last one… 'Kurt'.

Oh.

Blaine drew in a shallow breath and tried desperately to hide is disappointment.

Of course.

How could I be so selfish?

I shouldn't have expected…

"It seems as though we've forgotten someone." Burt said, interrupting Blaine's thoughts as he looked around the room curiously. "Hmmm… Who could that be?"

Blaine's eyebrows knit in confusion.

Surely he didn't mean…

Burt grinned as he reached into a white shopping bag that had been lying next to the couch. When he pulled his hand out, he revealed a brand new Christmas stocking.

It was red with white fur along the top and had neat dark silver letters on the side, exactly like all of the rest:


BLAINE


Blaine couldn't believe what he was seeing.

They got me a Christmas stocking?

A real stocking!

But I…

How did…

Why?

He was so touched, that he simply could not form the words, even in his mind.

He looked up at Carole and Burt, who were now standing together in front of him, obviously satisfied with their surprise.

Burt stepped forward and presented Blaine's stocking to the flabbergasted teen with a wide grin.

"Here you go, kiddo." He smiled. "You didn't actually think we'd forget you, did you?"

Blaine took the stocking in his hand and ran his fingers over the smooth velvet. Each silver letter of his name was embroidered on with obvious care and attention to detail.

He looked back up to Burt and Carole as he felt several tears slide down his face.

"T-thank you." He whispered softly.

Carole also had tears streaming down her cheeks.

Such a simple gesture has almost truly overwhelmed this boy.

"I have one more surprise for you, Blaine." She said, her voice cracking with emotion. She reached back into the white shopping bag and pulled out a small green box and handed it to Blaine.

He took it with wide eyes, uncertain of what to expect.

Blaine gulped as he slid his finger under the cardboard tab on the box and flipped open the lid. Inside the box was a piece of white Styrofoam. Blaine pulled it out of the box and split it open to reveal its contents.

He gasped when he saw what was inside.

It was a beautiful silver tree ornament in the shape of a music note with six tiny diamonds set inside of the top of it.

Blaine's fingers began to tremble as he looked down at his precious gift.

This is too much.

I can't keep this.

"Don't even think about not accepting it, buddy." Burt said perceptively. "We bought it just for you."

Carole stepped forward and knelt down beside Blaine and pressed a hand gently onto his shoulder.

"You need to have a special ornament for the tree too, sweetheart." She explained with soft smile. "And I remembered how much you love music."

Blaine looked back down at the silver music note as a tear slipped from his cheek and landed on top of it, giving it an even more brilliant shine.

"I-I…" He stuttered, unable to find the words.

"It's okay sweetheart, I know." Carole said, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "You're welcome."


After they'd finished their sandwiches and Burt had returned to work, Blaine and Carole started cleaning up all of the now-empty boxes that were crowding the house.

Carole had just left to take the last box up to the attic, leaving Blaine alone in the Christmas decoration-clad living room.

Everything felt perfect; inviting and… comforting.

Blaine's heart was warm and full as he allowed his eyes to roam across the new decorations.

His favourite, of course, was the silver music note ornament that hung on the tree, right next to a silver bell ornament that had Kurt's name engraved on it.

He padded barefoot through the living room until he came to where Burt had moved the piano onto the opposite wall under the mirror to make room for the Christmas tree by the window. The elder Hummel had pulled the white sheet off that had been covering the piano, exposing to Blaine just how gorgeous the instrument truly was.

Carole had placed a red table runner on the top of the piano and strategically covered it with an entire Christmas village. There were several houses, trees and bushes, a small church, and a number of tiny vehicles, including a horse drawn carriage.

She'd also placed a large snow globe in the middle of the display that had two penguins wearing bowties and Santa hats skating on a pond together.

It looked magnificent.

Blaine wandered closer and allowed his finger to gently slide over the pristine black cover that protected the piano's keys. He found himself fighting the urge to sit down on the matching black piano bench and peek underneath the cover.

It had been ages since he'd played a piano.

The last time he had was the day in the auditorium with Kurt.

He sighed at the memory.

Kurt's angelic voice.

They'd both been so happy that day.

Before…

"Do you still play?"

Blaine gasped and pulled his hand away from the piano as though it had been burned and his whole body leapt back in fright.

Quick flashes of images and memories burned his mind and his first instinct was that he'd been caught doing something wrong.

Shut up and do as you're told, you little bitch!

Are you going to do it or do I have to teach you another lesson?

Stop fucking fighting me!

I'll give you something to scream about!

Blaine squeezed his eyes closed, desperate to drown out the voices that filled his mind.

It took him a moment to collect himself and to realize that it was Carole speaking to him.

He wasn't back in his own house, with his father angry with him for breaking a priceless vase.

He wasn't in the motel room.

With them.

No, he was at the Hudmels.

Safe.

But…

Carole caught me touching the piano.

I shouldn't have touched it.

It's not mine.

It was Kurt's mom's piano and it was covered up because it makes them sad.

Why am I ruining this?

Everything was so perfect…

Why do I have to ruin everything?

"Blaine? Honey?" Carole asked; her voice laced with concern. "Is everything alright?"

He sucked in a staggered breath and forced himself to open his eyes.

Carole was standing several feet away from him with a stuffed polar bear in her hands and a worried look on her face.

"Blaine?" She asked again after he didn't respond. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

Blaine clenched his fist hard enough that his nails dug into his palm.

Breathe, damn it.

Stop being so stupid.

He forced himself to raise his head until his eyes met Carole's, but his heart sunk when he noticed the look of disapproval on her face.

She's mad.

I shouldn't have touched the piano.

After everything they've done for me… given to me…

I always manage to fuck everything up.

"I-I'm sorry." His words cracked as they slipped past his lips.

Carole set the polar bear on the couch and walked over towards the quivering boy. She came within a few feet of him and stopped. She didn't think it would be wise to touch him; it looked as though he'd had another flashback.

His face had lost all its color and he was shaking visibly.

"Blaine, sweetie." She said softly. "What on earth are you apologising for?"

Blaine looked away from her and gulped. He unclenched his fist and began fumbling with a loose thread on the seam of his sling.

"I-I shouldn't have t-touched it."

He bowed his head shamefully, as though he expected a severe punishment to follow his admission.

Carole was shocked.

Blaine was speaking.

Full sentences.

But he was not only speaking… he was apologising.

For what?

Her heart clenched when she realized that the curly-haired boy in front of her was not going to lift his chin.

He looked so ashamed.

What could he possibly have done to look this guilt-ridden?

"Blaine?" She asked, while quietly stepping towards him. "What did you touch, sweetie?"

Without lifting his head, Blaine spoke.

"The piano." He whispered. "I touched the piano."

All of the wind left Carole's lungs.

The piano?

He's this upset about the piano?

You'd think, by his reaction, he'd just stolen the Mona Lisa.

"Blaine… sweetheart." She sighed. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Blaine's eyes remained fixed on the floor.

He looked like a puppy that had peed on the carpet and was waiting to be swatted with a rolled up newspaper.

"Blaine? Can you look at me for a second?" Carole asked, and then added. "Please?"

The teenager gulped audibly.

Here it comes.

She's going to hit me.

Or…

Maybe she'll take my stocking away and my ornament…

Oh god.

What if she makes me leave?

What if I can't be here for Christmas?

What if I never get to see Kurt again?

Blaine finally found enough inner strength to lift his head and look at the woman standing in front of him.

He'd expected to see dark eyes.

A scowl.

Disappointment.

Anger.

But when his eyes met the soft green ones belonging to Carole Hudson, Blaine's eyebrows raised slightly on his forehead.

She didn't look angry at all.

Her eyes were warm, not dark and cold.

Not disappointed.

She wasn't scowling, but not smiling either.

She looked… sad.

Her eyes were sad, and her lips formed almost a straight line across her face.

Blaine didn't know what to think.

He didn't know when his punishment was going to come and he didn't know what to do next.

Carole was just standing there.

Looking sad.

So Blaine didn't move.

He didn't speak.

He just waited.

Waited for Carole to make her move.

He was ready to accept whatever punishment was coming to him.

Dozens of scenarios raced through Blaine's mind.

But nothing prepared him for the next words that came out of her mouth.

"Blaine. You've don't nothing wrong, sweetheart." She started calmly. "Don't you ever be afraid in this house. Nothing and no one will ever harm you while you're here. You'll never be punished here, no matter what happens."

Blaine sucked his lower lip in between his teeth and chewed on it nervously. He still refused to look Carole directly in the eye, instead, he found himself looking anywhere but.

"Blaine?" Carole wasn't even sure if he'd heard her initial speech. "You are not in trouble. It's okay that you touched the piano. You didn't do any harm to it. You were just curious."

The words finally sunk in and Blaine's amber eyes widened.

She's not mad.

"Why would you possibly think you were in trouble?"

A few moments of silence passed, and Carole tilted her head to the side just slightly, waiting patiently to see if the teen would give her a verbal answer.

She was shocked by how much Blaine had spoken in the past few minutes. It was more than he'd said in the past three days combined.

Maybe he's finally finding his voice again?

Blaine gulped again but didn't speak.

"Were you afraid to touch it because it was Kurt's moms?" Carole asked, realizing now that the teen was not prepared to say anything further. "Did you think it would make him sad to talk about it?"

Blaine nodded.

"You know that Kurt would never be upset with you, Blaine." She said softly. "About anything."

He shrugged without looking up.

"I mean it, Blaine. Kurt genuinely cares about you." Her words were soft and gentle. "His mom passed away a long time ago, he has come to terms with it now. Sure, the piano might be a reminder to him about how much he misses her, but he would never be upset with you for asking about her, or being curious about her piano."

Blaine finally risked a look up. His honey-amber eyes were wide, and filled with emotion.

Really?

"I promise." Carole confirmed. She smiled and moved over next to where he stood beside the piano. "In fact, I think it would mean a lot to Kurt if you talked to him about his mom."

At Carole's kind words, the fear and uncertainty instantly slipped from Blaine's shoulders and he felt a thousand times lighter.

"Also, I'm sure Burt would be more than happy to let you play the piano, if you'd like to."

Blaine's eyes widened at the thought.

He missed the way the smooth keys felt underneath his fingertips. He longed to hear the soft sounds that would emanate from the strings inside the piano.

He missed feeling the beautiful vibrations that the music filled him with, each note creating a sense of tranquility.

Hope.

Freedom.

Peace.

He sighed as his heart felt warm and comforted by the memories.

Maybe someday I will be able to play again.

"Come on." He heard Carole say from beside him. "Let's go have a cup of tea."

Blaine nodded, and after one last longing glance towards the pristine black piano next to him, he padded barefoot along behind her towards the kitchen.


"There!" Carole exclaimed proudly after Blaine had just slid the last puzzle piece into place. "All done!"

She watched curiously as Blaine studied the image of the now-completed puzzle that lay on the top of the kitchen table.

He hadn't said a word since they'd discussed the whole piano fiasco; they'd just sat at the table, sipping their tea and worked silently on the puzzle in front of them.

She sighed silently when Blaine didn't look up from the puzzle. His face remained expressionless as he stared at the two grey-brown wolves in the wintery mountain landscape.

It was night time in the image, and hundreds of stars twinkled brightly above the scene as one wolf climbed up a steep, icy slope, away from the darkness of the forest below. He was looking behind him as he crept; seemingly afraid of the horrors he'd escaped from, perhaps paranoid that his nightmares may be following him.

The second wolf stood watching him from the top of the hill with rays of sunshine filtering through the trees and giving his fur a brilliant glow. His eyes looked curious, but at the same time, comforting; as though he was there to provide safety, protection and guidance.

Wolves were often thought of as solitary creatures, frequently off on their own in search of acceptance and solace, while fighting off enemies and struggling to survive. But when one finally discovers his own pack and allows himself to accept the comfort and domesticity of it, he becomes stronger than he ever could have been while he was alone.

Although Blaine may have missed the significance of the image that Carole had deliberately chosen it for, he couldn't help but allow his eyes to roam across the picture.

Several strategically placed wolves were hidden in the image, within the clouds, the trees, and even within the face of the moon.

He counted eleven… no… twelve… was there more?

Blaine ran his finger across the surface of the puzzle, following the trail of indentations where each of the pieces fit together perfectly.

Hundreds of tiny fragments, so insignificant when alone, but when all joined together formed such a beautiful piece of art.

A poignant thought slipped through his mind, and he frowned while re-counting the hidden wolves peeking out from the image in front of him.

I want all of my pieces to be put together and make something beautiful.

Carole sensed that the teenager's mind was filling with depreciating thoughts, so she reached her hand out to cover his where it lay uselessly on the table.

"Would you like to talk about it, honey?"

Blaine's eyes lifted slowly from the puzzle until he was looking at Carole's caring face.

He shook his head.

"You know you can tell me things, right?"

Blaine gulped, but nodded once.

Carole took a deep breath, choosing her words carefully.

"I know that you feel the most comfortable speaking with Kurt, and that's great, but you know you can talk to Burt, or myself too, right?" She said calmly. "Burt pretends to be tough, but just between you and me, he's about as mean as your little teddy bear over there." She nodded towards the brown plush bear that Coach Beiste had brought for him.

A tiny smile formed on Blaine's face.

"Can I ask you something?" Carole's words were slow and calculated. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I'd love it if you did."

Blaine gulped.

"Why have you stopped talking?"

Blaine's eyes grew large and a hollow feeling began to grow in the pit of his stomach.

Carole noticed immediately and quickly kept talking.

"You have such a beautiful voice, Blaine. I miss hearing you talk, and laugh." She explained sadly. "And I'm certain that you miss singing."

The teen drew in a staggered breath.

How am I supposed to answer that?

What does she want me to say?

"Were you afraid to speak? In the beginning, I mean." She asked quietly, fearing the answer. "Like you might get in trouble if you did?"

Blaine frowned as images of men sticking terrible things into his mouth and slapping him around clouded his memory.

He closed his eyes, in a desperate attempt to push the thoughts out of his mind as he nodded.

"That's what I thought." Carole admitted sadly. "But you don't have to be scared anymore. No one will punish you."

Blaine nodded again slowly.

"You can trust us, Blaine."

Blaine looked up at her with a frown.

He knew he should be able to agree to her words.

He should be able to trust the Hudmels.

But…

"We won't let you down." Carole all but finished his thoughts for him. "We're here to support you, Blaine; to help you and love you and to get you through this. We won't ever let anything happen to you again."

Tears formed in the corners of Blaine's eyes.

I just want to let them in.

I want to be happy.

"You just have to let us."

Blaine's face scrunched with emotion. He gulped and pulled his hand down from where it had still been laced together with Carole's on the top of the table and brought it into his lap.

He looked down at the table in front of him and sighed.

"I-I want to."

Carole's eyes widened.

Her first instinct was to reply, but she kept quiet, desperate to give Blaine the chance to speak.

Keep him talking.

"I-I…" He stuttered and his face folded into a frustrated frown as he began tugging at the seam of his sling. "I-I'm so t-tired."

Blaine finally risked a glance up to Carole. He half expected her to reply, but she remained stoic, and gave him an encouraging nod.

"I'm tired of h-hiding." He said sadly. "I-I don't want to be… scared anymore."

This time Carole couldn't prevent the words from slipping from her mouth.

"Oh honey!" She exclaimed, standing up from her chair. She moved around the table and knelt on the floor next to Blaine and took his hand in her own. "You don't have to hide from us. You don't have to hide your fears, your doubt, your feelings…and you certainly don't have to hide your voice."

"I know you probably feel scared to talk to us about what happened, and that's completely understandable. I bet you're afraid that once you start talking, it will be hard not to just let everything out, right?"

Blaine drew in a deep breath, and a look of disbelief flashed across his face.

How does she know exactly what I'm feeling?

His brain swarmed as the emotions began to bubble up in his chest. The sudden urge just to start talking, explaining, and begging forgiveness was almost overpowering.

Tell her.

Tell her everything.

But then his conscience kicked in and he began to doubt himself.

Stop.

Don't do it.

Don't you dare tell her anything!

She doesn't need to know.

Protect yourself.

She won't understand.

She'll look at you differently.

She'll tell Kurt.

Blaine turned green as the terrifying thought of Kurt knowing his darkest secrets crossed his mind.

The two different rivers of thought flowed through his mind, battling for dominance until he felt physically ill.

Wait…

Carole was talking again.

What was she saying?

The voices in his head were so loud that they drowned out her words.

"…a professional."

The internal voices immediately stopped and an eerie silence engulfed him as his head shot up.

What did she just say?

"We think it would be good for you."

What would be good for me?

Who's we?

"…help you deal with this."

Wait, what?

Who is she talking about?

"…depressed."

Who's depressed?

"Maybe they could give you some medication or something."

Oh god.

No.

"Might help you relax"

Nonononononono.

I can't.

Fuck.

Not again.

"…help you feel better."

Blaine's heart was pounding out of his chest.

He ripped his hand out of Carole's and squeezed his fingers into a clenched fist.

"Blaine?"

His breathing became rapid and his head was spinning.

She wants to drug me.

They want to put me to sleep.

I won't be able to protect myself.

I can't fight back.

I won't be able to protect Kurt.

"No!" He screamed.

He squeezed his eyes closed as his body shied away from Carole, who flinched away, surprised from Blaine's sudden outburst.

"Blaine… what…?"

"Stop it!" He screamed, bringing his unslinged hand up protectively in front of his face.

Visions clouded his mind.

Nightmares.

A heavy feeling of helplessness flooded his veins as his body became weak.

Hands were on him.

Rough, callused hands.

Touching him.

He tried to lift his own arms to push them away, but they were too heavy – as though they'd been hollowed out and filled with sand.

He couldn't even open his eyes.

When he did, the room would spin and he felt sick.

When he did… he could see them.

Their faces.

Distorted from the chemical racing through his blood.

They were angry.

Hungry.

Evil.

He felt himself being pushed back until he was laying on something hard.

A table?

His brain was too muddled to form coherent thoughts now.

All he could think about was that this was wrong.

So wrong.

It shouldn't be like this.

The hands were back now.

Scratching and pawing at him like a wild animal.

Stop it!

He wanted to scream, but his lips felt like they were sewn together.

There were too many of them.

Too many hands.

Too many voices.

Telling him to relax.

Telling him that they would make him feel better.

He didn't want to relax.

He didn't want them to make him feel anything.

He just wanted to wake up.

Wake up from this haze.

Wake up from this nightmare.

He felt the cold metal stinging against his wrists.

He was too weak to pull away, what was the point?

Hands.

Touching him in places he didn't want to be touched.

Fingers dug into his skin.

There would be more marks tomorrow.

More bruises.

Bite marks.

Cigarette burns.

Cuts.

The cuts were the worst.

The slow drag of a blade across his skin…

A burning pain filled him.

An intrusion like no other.

Please stop.

I can't do this anymore.

No words came from his lips.

Now he just wanted to go to sleep.

Just wanted the pain to go away.

Hands.

Too many hands.


Carole was beginning to panic.

Blaine was gone.

His body was sitting only inches in front of her, but his mind…

His mind had disappeared.

The boy's hazel eyes were wide but unseeing and filled with terror.

His lips had fallen open in a silent, never-ending scream.

She'd tried everything; but her gentle hand on his knee had gone unnoticed and her quiet reassurances unheard.

This was the worst panic attack she'd seen yet.

His breathing was staggered, it was doubtful that he was pulling in enough oxygen to feed his starving cells.

But it was Blaine's eyes that scared her.

She'd expected to see them filled with fear, and it shattered her very soul when that was not the case.

They were dark, almost black.

And empty.

He'd given up.

Like he didn't have the strength to fight any more.

"Blaine!" She yelped, shaking him just slightly.

No response.

"Please, Blaine!" She was sobbing now. "Please come back!"

When there was no change in Blaine's defeated posture, she pulled her hands back and stared at him through her tears.

What do I do?

Where did he go?

It's like… he just disappeared.

A thought struck Carole that made her feel sick to her stomach.

He regressed.

He's protecting himself by disappearing inside of his own mind.

She reached back up and placed both of her trembling hands on the sides of Blaine's face, pulling his long curls out from in front of his eyes.

"Sweetie, please." Her voice was rough and filled with emotion. "I need you to listen to me. Nothing is going to happen to you. You're safe."

Nothing.

"Blaine!" A little louder this time. "Please, please just… wake up!"

Blaine's eyes flickered just slightly.

His breathing was still ineffective, and his lips had turned a frightening shade of blue.

Carole racked her brain for something, anything she could do to bring him back from his nightmare.

"Kurt needs you!"

She knew it was crazy, but she was desperate.

If anyone could snap Blaine out of this, it would be Kurt.

"Blaine, please! Kurt needs you to be here with him. Come back, Blaine. Please!"

Another tiny flicker behind the darkness of his eyes.

"Wake up!" She shouted again. "For Kurt!"


The hands were pressing on his face now and the screams were reverberating through his skull.

Stop screaming at me.

Please… just stop.

Let me go.

I just want it to stop.

The burning was gone now.

Replaced by a cold, hollow emptiness.

He felt nothing.

But the screams were still ringing in his ears like echoes across a canyon.

His mind flickered when one of the screams turned into a desperate plea.

Kurt?

Oh god, Kurt.

No.

You can't have Kurt.

Leave him out of this!

A new wave of strength surged through him as he fought against the invisible cords that bound his body and mind.

Leave him alone.

Leave him alone!

He fought back against the darkness, desperate to claw at the hands that were touching him.

Too many hands.


Carole gasped when she saw that Blaine was beginning to stir. His eyes were clenched shut now, as though he was concentrating with all his might.

"Blaine? That's it sweetie… You're doing so good…" She praised. Tears were still streaming down her cheeks as she stood up in front of where Blaine remained sitting in the chair next to the kitchen table. "Come back, Blaine. Come back for Kurt."

Suddenly Blaine's eyes sprung open and his head shot up.

He was awake, but not conscious.

There, but not there.

Still obviously caught in a web of his own nightmares, Blaine brought his hand up and tried to push Carole's fingers away from his face.

"Shhh…" She hushed, moving in closer. "It's okay…"

Blaine didn't hear her words.

He struggled until he managed to rip his left shoulder out of its sling and brought both hands up in a desperate struggle to free himself.

"Blaine, please stop honey." Carole begged. "You're going to hurt yourself!"

Blaine batted at her hands, and pushed back with his legs.

Escape.

You have to fight.

Protect Kurt.

Don't let them take him.

He was still gasping for breaths, sucking in air between his clenched teeth as he desperately fought off his imaginary attacker.

It was then that Carole made a critical mistake.

She moved her body closer to Blaine's, in an innocent attempt to pull him into her arms and calm the frightened boy down.

When the still-incoherent Blaine felt the advance, he kicked out his legs and threw himself back in a reckless attempt to free himself from his nightmare.

His body, still starved from lack of oxygen, hit the back of the wooden chair with an unexpected force.

And he toppled over backwards.


Kurt hated History.

It was undoubtedly the most boring of all his classes.

He thumped his pencil on the notebook in front of him and brought a hand up to support his chin.

When the hell will I ever need to know (or care) about the Polish uprising in 1956?

Bored didn't even begin to describe this.

He glanced mindlessly out the window to his left.

There was a yellow canary on a tree branch just above the windowsill.

Kurt watched as the delicate yellow bird hopped around gracefully on the branch.

He imagined the song that it might be singing.

Soft, sweet and gentle little chirps.

I wonder if Blaine would like a pet.

A yellow canary would be nice.

Easy enough to take care of.

And I bet I could design a gorgeous Burberry-esque cover for it's cage…

He smiled to himself as he considered different names for the bird.

It would have to be a famous musician.

Whitney? Nah.

Patty? Hmmm… maybe.

Maybe it's a boy bird.

Mozart?

Pav…

His thoughts were interrupted as a searing pain whipped through his chest.

It caught him by such surprise that a tiny gasp escaped his lips.

Mike Chang, who was sitting next to him, turned and flashed him a look.

You okay dude?

Kurt, slightly embarrassed, tried to wave it off.

"Just indigestion. I guess my lunch didn't agree with me."

Mike gave him another look – this time Kurt could almost hear his thoughts.

Ooohhhkaaay then… TMI dude.

Kurt straightened up in his seat only seconds before another sharp, stabbing ache filled his chest.

This time he pitched himself forward and brought a hand up to the middle of his sternum.

What the hell is happening to me?

Seventeen -year-olds don't get chest pain.

The pain intensified, until he was filled with a horrible, agonizing ache.

Oh god.

I think I'm dying.

He felt his throat constrict just slightly and it felt as though he couldn't pull in enough air.

It felt like he'd just fallen onto his back and knocked the wind out of his lungs.

It was terrifying.

Suddenly a whisper of a thought whipped across his mind.

Blaine.

Something is wrong.

His mind raced with potential scenarios as he fumbled into his pocket, desperate to find his phone.

He didn't answer this morning when I called.

He hasn't replied to any of my texts.

Something is wrong.

Kurt ignored the strange looks he was receiving from his classmates and stood up from his desk, digging further into his pocket until his fingers landed on his phone.

He pulled it out and looked at the screen.

It was empty.

No missed calls.

No texts.

Just as he was about to slide his finger across the screen to unlock it, it started buzzing in his hand.


BLAINE ANDERSON CALLING


Kurt almost dropped the still-buzzing phone.

How the hell…?

He quickly sidestepped passed the rows of desks in front of him and made a mad dash out the classroom door, completely ignoring Ms. Hansen's protests.

The second Kurt was out of the room he swiped his finger across the bottom of the screen and quickly lifted the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" He answered quickly.

Too quickly.

"Blaine? What's wrong?"

The moment the call connected, his worst nightmares came to life.

He heard screaming.

Desperate, agonized screaming.

Oh my god.

"Blaine?" He wailed into the phone. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

More screams.

The hairs on the back of Kurt's neck stood on end.

His feet were planted on the floor where he stood in the middle of the desolate hallway.

He couldn't move it he wanted to.

"Blaine? Please?"

He was shaking.

Something was so very, very wrong.

"Blaine! Damn it! Just talk to me! Tell me what's wrong!"

He was sobbing now.

He felt so helpless.

"Kurt?"

He pressed the phone tighter against the side of his face.

Had he heard that?

Was someone there?

"Blaine?" He cried desperately.

Please, let it be Blaine.

Please.

Please.

PLEASE.

"Kurt, it's Carole."

Kurt's eyes widened and his heart sunk.

Why does she have Blaine's phone?

What the fuck is going on?

Who's screaming?

Is that Blaine?

"Carole?" Kurt's voice was hysterical. "What's…"

He was cut off.

"It's Blaine. He's… he's… well, he's freaking out and I don't know what to do!"

Kurt's heart fell to the floor.

Carole was crying.

Carole didn't cry.

What is happening?

"W-what happened?" He managed between desperate sobs.

He heard Carole saying something too quietly for him to hear - perhaps trying to calm Blaine with soothing and relaxing words?

It obviously wasn't working.

More terrified screams filled the background.

"Carole?" He asked despairingly.

"He-he had some sort of flashback or something and he zoned out, but then he came back… well… kind of came back, but then he panicked..." The words rushed out of her mouth.

Kurt gulped, trying to remain calm.

Carole was hysterical.

Carole didn't get hysterical.

Something was really, really wrong.

"He started swinging his arms around… It was like he was trying to protect himself or something, I-I don't know. But then he tipped the chair over. He landed pretty hard Kurt." She explained. "He won't let me touch him or help him. He just keeps screaming. I don't know what to do."

Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he re-opened them, he dug deep and found the courage to move his feet.

He needed to get somewhere more private.

There was no way he was going to be able to talk Blaine down while standing in the middle of the hallway, halfway panicked himself.

He started walking briskly to his left.

He knew where he'd go.

"Carole…" He instructed as he hurried down the empty hallway. He was trying desperately to keep his voice calm. "Put me on speakerphone."


"Blaine? Can you hear me?" He said loudly. "It's Kurt. I'm here Blaine."

Nothing.

He kept walking.

It was more of a jog, really.

At one point a teacher had stepped out in front of him. He'd shouted something about running in the halls, but Kurt had simply ignored him and kept running.

"Blaine, I need you to listen to my voice."

Nothing.

Kurt kept running until he arrived at his destination.

The girl's bathroom at the end of the hallway.

It was so far away from the majority of the classrooms, that people rarely used it.

It was perfect.

He rushed inside and quickly checked under the stall doors to make sure no one else was inside before he turned back to the door and latched it shut.

And locked it.

"Blaine?" He tried again. "Please listen to me. I need you to focus on my voice."

The screams had quieted some, but Kurt could still hear the panicked noises on the other end of the line.

"Blaine? It's me Kurt… can you hear me?"

Nothing.

"I need you to listen to my voice Blaine." He said softly. "Focus on my voice."

When he got no reply, he started again.

"I'm here, Blaine. I'm listening. I'm sorry I can't be right beside you, and I'm sorry I wasn't there when you got scared, but I'm here now. I wish I could hold you in my arms right now. I wish I could hold your hands and press your head to my chest so you could hear my heart beat. Remember this morning when you felt my heartbeat? It's beating right now Blaine. For you. It beats for you. I need you to calm down your breathing so you can hear it, okay?"

Kurt was pacing the tile floor in the bathroom as he listened for any sign that he'd succeeded in getting through to the terrified boy on the other end of the line.

"K-Kurt?"

He stopped dead in his tracks - paralyzed like a dear in headlights.

The helplessness of the voice startled him.

It sounded broken and weak, like that of a small child.

A small, terrified child.

"I'm here Blaine." He cried. Tears were pooling down his cheeks by this point. "I'm right here."

Blaine was crying. The screams had stopped, but now he was crying uncontrollably.

Kurt could hear the desperate sobs through the phone.

"I'm here, sweetie." His voice cracked with emotion. "I'm right here, Blaine."

The sobbing continued.

"You're going to be okay now, Blaine. I promise."

Kurt leaned against the wall in the bathroom and allowed his lean frame to slide down until he was seated on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest. He hugged his legs tighter to his body with one arm, while the other clung desperately to his phone.

His lifeline to Blaine.

"Can you still hear me?" Kurt asked.

He could hear Blaine's stuttered gasps on the other end of the line; the boy's breathing had slowed, but was still much quicker than normal.

He heard Blaine sniffle, and could imagine him nodding, not realizing at that moment that Kurt wouldn't be able to see his action.

"Carole, are you still there too?" Kurt closed his eyes and tried to imagine the scene.

Were they in Blaine's room?

"Yes, Kurt." She said quietly. "I'm here. We're in the kitchen."

Kurt nodded, also unnecessarily.

"Is he doing better?"

"Yes honey… Blaine is feeling much better now, aren't you honey?"

Kurt closed his eyes, listening with all he could in case Blaine was about to answer.

He heard nothing.

Perhaps Blaine had nodded?

"Blaine?" Kurt asked again. "Did you hurt yourself when you fell?"

There was no answer for a few seconds until Kurt heard Carole speak once again.

"He shook his head. I think he's okay."

"Okay. That's good, Blaine. Thank you for telling me that." Kurt tried to sound reassuring.

He thought for a moment.

Blaine was still obviously in a state of confusion and disarray. He needed to get him calmed down more.

"Carole?" Kurt asked.

"Yes, honey?" She was sounding much more composed and relieved.

"Can you take me off speaker phone and give the phone to Blaine? If he's willing to take it, I mean."

Several seconds passed and Kurt heard muffled sounds in the background before finally, he could hear short, swallow breathing thorough the receiver.

"Blaine?" He asked quietly. "Is that you?"

He heard a sniffle.

Yes, it was definitely Blaine on the phone now.

"Hi, sweetie." Kurt spoke softly, gently. "Are you doing better now?"

Another sniffle.

Again, even with his eyes closed, Kurt could almost see Blaine nodding.

"Good." He said. "How are you feeling? Do you think you can walk?"

"Y-yes."

Kurt sucked in a quick breath and his eyes shot open.

He'd not expected Blaine to answer.

"Great." He managed to keep his voice steady. "Why don't you go into your bedroom and lay on your bed? It's much more comfortable in there, and then we can talk, okay?"

He paused, hoping that Blaine might consider talking again.

"O-Okay."

Tears slipped down Kurt's cheek as he sat on the cool tile floor in the girl's bathroom.

He waited for several seconds, imagining Blaine getting up off the floor in the kitchen, maybe with help from Carole and stepping quietly through the hallway.

Had he re-injured himself?

Was he limping?

Did he need to lean against the wall for support?

He was just about to ask Blaine when the boy's voice whispered quietly from the earpiece of his phone.

"I-I'm here."

"Okay – is it dark in there?"

Another slight pause.

Kurt could imagine Blaine looking up and around his room. It was still early afternoon, so Kurt suspected that there would still be a fair bit of natural light seeping in through the blinds.

"No, not really."

"Okay Blaine, can you close the blinds?" He asked. "You can set the phone down if you need to use your good hand."

"O-okay."

Kurt then heard a gentle clunk, indicating that Blaine had indeed followed his suggestion and laid his phone on his desk, or maybe on the bedside table. He listened hard, with his eyes closed once again, and heard the gentle sound of curtains being pulled before Blaine was back on the phone once again.

"Is the light turned off?" He asked.

"Yes."

"So it's a little bit dark in there now?"

"Uh huh."

"Blaine?" Kurt asked. "Do you trust me?"

Silence.

Kurt's heart was pounding as he waited for the boy's reply.

"Y-yes, Kurt."

Kurt closed his eyes and released a sigh of relief.

"Will you unlock the door?"

He heard a soft gasp from the boy on the other end of the line.

"I-I…" Blaine hesitated.

"It's okay, Blaine. No one is going to hurt you. Carole is downstairs and my dad will be home soon from the shop. You won't be home alone – ever."

Another drawn out silence.

"You're safe Blaine. I promise"

Kurt could feel Blaine's hesitation.

"O-okay." The boy finally whispered.

Kurt heard the gentle metal click of the door being unlocked and another tear streamed down his face.

He trusts me.

"Thank you for trusting me, Blaine. It means a lot to me that you did that."

Silence.

"Why don't you lay on your bed and look up at your stars?" Kurt suggested softly. "Does that sound nice?"

He heard Blaine sniffle, and could imagine the boy using the back of his hand, which was still clutching the phone, to wipe away his tears.

"O-okay"

Kurt heard the springs of the mattress creak just slightly as Blaine crawled up onto his bed.

"Pull the covers up around you tight so you're nice and warm." Kurt instructed gently.

There was no demanding tone in his voice whatsoever, only one laced with love and kindness.

"Is Thumpy beside you?"

"Uh-huh." Another sniffle.

Kurt smiled, imagining the tiny boy tucked in tight under the blue faux mink blanket and the plush rabbit stuck in under his arm.

"Good boy." Kurt praised with a satisfied smile. "He'll keep you warm until I get home."

"Mmmhmmm."

"Can you see your stars?"

It was quiet for a brief moment.

"A little bit." Blaine answered softly. "It's not very dark in here."

Another tear slipped down Kurt's cheek.

Blaine's breathing had slowed right down.

He sounded almost… relaxed.

And he was talking.

Kurt's heart jumped for joy with every syllable.

He was so proud of him.

"That's okay, sweetie. You look at them the best you can." He said softly. "Can you count them?"

A few minutes passed where all Kurt could hear was Blaine's soft breaths against the speaker of the phone.

He was actually counting the stars.

"I-I lost count." Blaine said with a yawn.

"That's okay. You can start again if you want to." Kurt smiled. "You sound tired. Did you have a busy day with Carole?"

Another yawn, followed by a sleepy sounding, "Uh-huh."

"That's good sweetheart. I'm glad that you had a good day."

Silence for a few minutes.

"Did you find the CD that I left for you?"

"No." Blaine answered. His voice changed to one filled with guilt and sadness as he added, "I'm sorry that I missed your text."

"That's perfectly alright, sweetie." Kurt reassured. "I'm glad that Carole kept you busy all day. You can listen to it tomorrow."

"Okaaaay." The single word was elongated as Blaine sucked in another yawn.

"You can close your eyes if you want to, Blaine. I'll stay on the phone until you fall asleep."

"Promise?"

Kurt's heart warmed.

"I promise."

Several more minutes passed, with no sounds coming from the phone aside from the rhythmic pattern of Blaine's breathing.

Kurt was almost certain that the boy had fallen asleep until Blaine's sleepy voice sounded once more.

"Kurt?"

"Yes, Blaine?"

"W-will you please sing to me?"

Kurt smiled.

"Of course."

He dropped his legs and re-adjusted himself until he was sitting cross-legged on the hard tile floor and began the first song that popped into his head.

When your tears are spent on your last pretense

And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense

When it's in your spine like you've walked for miles

And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while

If your heart wears thin I will hold you up

And I will hide you when it gets too much

I'll be right beside you

I'll be right beside you

When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath

When the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless

When you try to speak but you make no sound

And the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud

If your heart wears thin I will hold you up

And I will hide you when it gets too much

I'll be right beside you

I'll be right beside you

I will stay

Nobody will break you

Trust in me, trust in me

Don't pull away

Trust in me, trust in me

I'm just trying to keep it together

Because I could do worse and you could do better

Tears are spent on your last pretense

And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense

If your heart wears thin I will hold you up

And I will hide you when it gets too much

I'll be right beside you

Nobody will break you

When Kurt finished the last line of the song, he brought the back of his free hand up to his face and brushed away a stray tear. He'd managed to keep his voice relatively strong and consistent throughout his entire rendition of the song, despite the flooding emotions that overwhelmed his senses.

He pushed his phone tighter to his ear and listened carefully to Blaine's soft, even breaths.

Was he asleep?

After several more seconds of silence, Kurt allowed his shoulders to sag, tension rolling off of him in waves.

He'd done it.

Blaine was going to be okay again.

About that time, a tiny whimper broke the pattern of Blaine's breathing.

Was he dreaming?

A nightmare?

Or had he not quite fallen asleep?

"It's okay, Blaine." Kurt whispered softly into the phone. "You're going to be okay now."

When he received no reply, Kurt sighed. "I promise."

He cleared the emotion from his throat and began singing another song.

When the visions around you

Bring tears to your eyes

And all that surround you

Are secrets and lies

I'll be your strength

I'll give you hope

Keeping your faith when it's gone

The one you should call

Was standing here all along

And I will take

You in my arms

And hold you right where you belong

Till the day my life is through

This I promise you

This I promise you

I've loved you forever

In lifetimes before

And I promise you never

Will you hurt anymore

I give you my word

I give you my heart

This is a battle we've won

And with this vow

Forever has now begun

Just close your eyes

Each loving day

I know this feeling won't go away

Till the day my life is through

This I promise you

This I promise you

Over and over I fall

When I hear you call

Without you in my life baby

I just wouldn't be living at all

And I will take

You in my arms

And hold you right where you belong

Till the day my life is through

This I promise you

Just close your eyes

Each loving day

I know this feeling won't go away

Every word I say is true

This I promise you

Every word I say is true

This I promise you

Ooh, I promise you

Kurt ended the song with a soft fading note.

However, this time when he listened, all he could hear were Blaine's soft snores.


~ Thanks for reading and reviewing. Your words inspire mine. ~


"Beside You" by Marianas Trench

"This I Promise You" by N Sync


Comments

You must be logged in to add a comment. Log in here.

Very touching and heart breaking chapter.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my story. That means so much to me! Xoxo-RH

Love you too pumpkin!!! XXoxoxo Thanks for sticking with me! :)

This chapter was amazing. I loved seeing Blaine be carefree and happy while decorating the house with Carole and Burt and realizing that they really did consider him a part of their family. Seeing him get so worried about Kurt and then seeing Kurt actually feel physical pain when Blaine was hurting just showed how strong and special the bond between them is. I hate seeing Blaine suffering so it was hard to see him break the way that he did but I was relieved that Carole realized that she needed to contact Kurt to help him in any way possible. I seriously started to cry when I read the end of the chapter because the trust that Blaine has in Kurt in so beautiful and an amazing thing to see. Your story has made me feel so many emotions and that just shows me what an awesome writer you truly are. Thank you so much for writing a story that is so emotional while also depicting a special bond between two boys that truly love and care about the other. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Wow! That was so beautiful! Thank you so much for such an amazing review! It's so encouraging and inspiring to get reviews like that! Makes me smile and feel and warm nd tingly! ;)You're amazing. Thank you so much for believing in me and in my story. Love you,xoxox-RH

... i really want them to have some really cute kiss and be boyfirnds or blaine to think they are ... chapter are soooo long love this and hapy to keep ready ...

Awww hang in there. Blaine is still healing. It will be a while before he's even in the correct mindframe to consider it a possibility. He's just not there yet.