December 19

4:57pm

'Not Alone' by Linkin Park

I feel like an idiot.

I freaked out. Like... really bad.

Carole must have told Kurt. He started calling me and I could tell he was upset.

He missed the last bit of his French class today because of me.

No wonder he still has nightmares... He still has to deal with me being freaked out all the time.

He came home and he talked to me through the door until I unlocked it.

Then he just... hugged me.

I felt so stupid.

Guilty.

After everything I did... he just hugged me.

I didn't deserve it.

He should have yelled at me. He should have been disappointed, or angry that I made him miss his class. There are only a couple days left before Christmas break. Every day is important.

But he wasn't mad, or disappointed... he just looked sad.

Carole brought me a heating pad for my shoulder. I couldn't even look at her. I feel so ashamed. She told me that Marie would like to see me once more before Christmas, but that it's my decision whether or not we make the appointment.

I didn't answer.