November 28

1:09am

Fuck.

I just woke up and kinda freaked out a little bit.

At first I couldn't remember where I was and I completely panicked.

I thought I was back there...

I must have been having a nightmare about being back at the motel with him because I woke up in a cold sweat and felt like I was going to be sick. I made sure to be quiet so I didn't wake anyone up.

I can still feel his hands all over me.

I hate that I can't get a decent sleep without being plagued by these stupid nightmares.

I actually got out of bed and locked the door.

Then I just stared at it for like... ever... waiting for something bad to happen.

I'm so tired of feeling like this.

I wish I'd never gone to that stupid dance.

I wish my parents never found out about me.

I wish I'd never been kicked out of Dalton.

And I really wish that I'd never even gone to that disgusting motel in the first place.

If I'd known that's what he wanted, I would have figured out a different way to make money for school.

Without letting him turn me into some disgusting, useless whore.

I let it happen.

I just want to stop feeling like I'm a bad person...