May 13, 2013, 8:27 a.m.
Like We Used To: Chapter 7a
T - Words: 1,422 - Last Updated: May 13, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 13/? - Created: Apr 22, 2012 - Updated: May 13, 2013 1,129 0 0 0 0
Kurt’s POV
Blaine.
Without thinking I spin around to face him. Oh god, it’s actually him.
Breathe, Kurt.
“Hi,” I hope to some higher power he can’t see my nerves.
“Are you nervous?” Blaine chuckles.
Damn. “Nervous? No. Why would I b-“
“It’s okay, I know I am.”
Why is he being so nice and honest? Aren’t I supposed to hate him? But, if I’m honest, I could never bring myself to hate Blaine: even after we broke up.
My confusion must show on my face because Blaine’s expression turns to one of utter understanding.
“I mean, after everything that happened between us, it’s only natural to be nervous about seeing each other again,” Blaine states, using what I suspect is a rehearsed speech.
“But it’s been nine years. Shouldn’t it only be mildly awkward, rather than making us nervous?” This comment earns a giggle from Blaine. God, I’ve missed that laugh.
“I think you just summed up this entire evening.”
“Well I’ve always been very perceptive,” I quip.
This feels weird: like ‘good weird’ but weird nonetheless. I mean, this man is the reason I haven’t had a relationship in nine years, but he’s also one of the only reasons I’ve laughed in just as long.
“So how’ve you been?” Blaine asks as he shuffles his feet slightly.
“Not bad,” I lie, “Living in New York running a semi-successful fashion line,” this seems to impress him...good, “How about you?”
But just as Blaine is about to answer, he is all but attacked by a tall, slender man. Blaine lets out a small scream as the man pounces on him.
“For god’s sake, Drew! Scared me half to death!” Blaine catches his breath.
“Sorry...” he pouts, “forgive me?” This guy is even better at the puppy dog eyes than Blaine is!
“I guess,” Blaine teases, earning a huge hug from...Drew, I think he said.
“Yay!” Drew laughed, “Who’s your friend?”
“Oh, this is Kurt. Kurt this is Drew, my...”
Boyfriend.
Blaine’s POV
This is not the way I wanted my past and present to meet. Well, I don’t really know how exactly I wanted them to meet, but it wasn’t like this. There was supposed to be a build up; some kind of weirdly momentous conversation. I was supposed to have time to tell Kurt before they met.
“Oh, this is Kurt. Kurt this is Drew, my...” Oh crap, do I say it?
I have to.
“...Boyfriend.”
I’m not sure, but I swear I see Kurt’s carefully constructed expression falter ever so slightly. Drew’s awkward disposition practically permeated from every pore of his body, but Kurt: if I didn’t know him so well he would be impossible to read.
“Uh...Drew?” he makes a hum of acknowledgement at his name, “Could you give us a minute?” I tear my eyes from Kurt’s face to look at Drew.
He looks up but avoids my eyes at all costs: his right hand rubbing the back of his neck as he shuffles awkwardly. “Uh sure, I’ll just be...over...um...there.” I throw him a smile – he’s so understanding.
As soon as he begins to walk away, I turn back to face Kurt. His eyes are fixed on some spot in the distance.
“Kurt.” Those crystal blue eyes lock with mine, “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you.”
“Why? I mean it’s not like I haven’t moved on Blaine. It’s been nine years.”
He’s moved on? Of course he has. Someone as special as Kurt Hummel was probably surrounded by adoring men as soon as I was out of the picture. Why didn’t I put up a better fight to keep him? Make more of an effort to visit him in New York? And why does it hurt so much to know he’s moved on? Sure he’s moved on, but so have I: I have Drew.
“Oh, so you have a boyfriend?” I do my best to smile, “That’s great.”
“Yeah, he’s just a guy from work. He’s a bit younger than me but it doesn’t bother us.”
“How much younger are we talking here Kurt? I hope you’ve not become a cradle-snatcher since you left Lima.” Yeah, make a joke, that’ll make this less awkward.
“Oh no! None of that went on. He’s 23.” Kurt smiles.
“Oh,” I chuckle, it’s hard not to when he smiles, “What’s his name?”
“James.”
James. Sounds like a...stupid...person. Very eloquent, Blaine.
“Ooo, that’s him now!” Kurt says, reaching into his pocket for his phone, “Talk later, Blaine.”
Kurt’s POV
James? What the hell! Now I have to spend the rest of the night pretending to be dating my apprentice.
I pretty much run to the locker room – thankfully I remembered the way – after my conversation with Blaine. I just have to get away from that room...from him.
God, how could I be so stupid? Faking a call from a fake boyfriend? I’m so pathetic. I’ve never lied to Blaine before, not ever. He was just stood there, looking perfect with his perfect boyfriend. I’ve never felt more embarrassed. Kurt Hummel has officially reached a new low.
Pools of hot tears cloud my vision. This night is so much harder than I expected it to be.
Then it dawns on me; the mystery visitor had told Mercedes and Rachel about someone having a new boyfriend, the girls going silent, the mention of Blaine’s name in the car. Someone was trying to warn me. But who on Earth would do that?
Kurt, listen, you’re being silly. You need to calm down. I don’t even care how you do it: do 50 laps of the field, jump up and down, listen to music...whatever! Just calm down!
I listen to the tiny rational part of my brain. I dig out my iPhone and press it to “shuffle”. I lean against the lockers as I allow the familiar guitar introduction flood my ears. And suddenly, I know what I have to do.
Blaine’s POV
“I know you didn’t know, Drew! That’s not the point!” I’m trying so hard not to yell at him right now – not wanting to cause a scene.
“I hardly see how this is anyone’s fault, Blaine!” By the sound of his voice, Drew’s struggling to maintain his cool as well.
I clench my teeth together and close my eyes in a feeble attempt to calm myself down, “We’ll talk about it later, I don’t want to do this surrounded by other people.”
“Do what?” Drew muses under his breath.
A soft guitar tune begins playing from the stage and I spin around towards the familiar tune.
Kurt. He’s on stage...singing.
I can feel his breath
As he’s sleeping next to me
Sharing pillows and cold feet.
Oh crap.
He can feel my heart
Fell asleep to its beat
Under blankets and warm sheets.
If only I could be in that bed again
If only it were me instead of him.
Does he watch your favourite movies?
Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favourite parts when you’ve seen it a million times?
Does he sing to all your music
While you dance to ‘Purple Rain’?
Does he do all these things
Like I used to?
Is he singing this to me? Or am I just reading way too much into this? It’s been so long since I’ve heard his voice and he picks this song: the song he knows would remind me of him.
I can’t not listen to him sing every word as if his heart and soul depended on it. I hear Drew huff next to me and I mentally scold him for it. I get hooked into as Kurt’s voice reaches a new section of the song.
I know, Love
(Well, I’m a sucker for that feeling)
Happens all the time, Love
(I always end up feeling cheated)
You’re on my mind, Love
(Oh darling led her that leaded)
It happens all the time, Love, yeah.
His eyes lock on mine...yeah, this is for me.
Will he love you like I loved you?
Will he tell you every day?
Will he make you feel like you’re invincible with every word he’ll say?
Can you promise me if this one’s right don’t throw it all away?
Can you do all these things?
Will you do all these things
Like we used to?
Oh, like we used to.
Before the guitar outro ends, I’m out of the door. I don’t even care where I’m going, just out of that room.