Blaine turned to look out the driver’s side window, knowing that he had been completely rude and simply just unpleasant whilst sounding like an utter ass. He should have held it back, he was usually so good at controlling his emotions…no matter whether he was upset, or disappointed, or angry…he was always capable of reigning in on those emotions in order to hide himself from the outside world. But for some reason it was just so much harder around Kurt…he couldn’t lie to him, he couldn’t hold anything back, he’d nearly almost cried in front of him twice, and he couldn’t hold back all those impulses and wants to put everything out on the line for him, for that possibility of what they could be…. Blaine closed his eyes for a moment, his face still turned away from Kurt’s while he composed himself, attempting to control those emotions and thoughts so he could keep his neat, thin protective wall up. Turning back towards the actor he noticed the look on his face, the way his eyes opened in horrified shock, his hands visibly shaking, the hesitance in his voice, and the way he couldn’t look at Blaine. He felt his chest tighten a little, his breath leaving him slowly at the mere thought of treating Kurt in such a way as to make him too taken aback to look at him. “No…I really am sorry…I don’t know what came over me…” how many times had he said those exact same words? Blaine avoided the drama major’s gaze, too ashamed to cause this sort of reaction out of the other man.

Blaine leaned against the driver’s side door, his left elbow perched on the window ledge while he rested his cheek against his palm, his eyes focused and trained on the road ahead of him. He felt confused, and not the good kind of I’m in a relationship and I don’t know what to do to make it perfect confused, more like the what does this make us? confused. The musician leaned away from his hand, lifting it to rub at his forehead like he had once before and dropped it to his lap. He figured that singing a song that he had written about being there for someone and loving them unconditionally would imply more then just the want to be friends…not to mention the kiss he had planted on the man only minutes afterwards, to which he received one in return. Maybe those two actions, which took a lot of nerve and effort in doing in the first place, hadn’t been forward enough? Or maybe Kurt was just blocking off that possibility…he had shared what his past relationships had been like…so maybe he just wasn’t willing to live through those experiences again? He wasn’t sure…but if the latter was the case then he felt line it’d only be fair to receive some sort of explanation as to why…especially after he had put so much on the line to expose so much of himself. He was pulled from his deep thoughts when he felt a pair of eyes on him, though he didn’t acknowledge it until he heard Kurt’s voice. Glancing over at him briefly he opened his mouth to say something but decided against it and turned back to the steering wheel, wondering if it was even worth telling the truth when clearly his actions and words didn’t make much of a difference. He shifted in his seat, feeling uncomfortable for the first time in awhile since he had met Kurt…he wasn’t sure how his friend was going to take this, but he knew he had to bring it up… “What are we, Kurt? I just need to know before I embarrass or make a fool of myself or do something to make you uncomfortable…because right now I don’t think we’re on the same page…and it’s a little frustrating, I’m not going to lie. I thought it was obvious of my intentions…but the way you say things makes it seem otherwise.”

There were a few times in his life when Kurt Hummel had felt like he did right now. He honestly didn’t know how to feel, left feeling numb, his brain completely frozen on one thought or another to do with this sudden change in mood, the way he couldn’t control himself - his shaking hands, the tensing of his shoulders, the tight setting of his jaw, the blank, expressionless eyes. It was how he’d coped with every situation he wasn’t comfortable with since turning up in New York. Kurt wasn’t a fan of confrontation or violence in any shape or form, sure in the past he had no problem waltzing up to someone and giving them a piece of his mind, but now he was always tentative about it. Raised voices frightened him, harsh tones caused him to feel the need to physically defend himself. He honestly hated how protective he’d gotten of himself, but after emotionally and physically being hurt this many times he honestly couldn’t stop it anymore. He closed his eyes, listening to Blaine’s words and swallowing harshly, taking in a deep shaking breath before sitting back and glancing over to the musician briefly. “It’s fine, Blaine.” He could hear his own strained voice and frowned at it, rolling his shoulders to relax them. “Don’t worry about it, I shouldn’t have assumed.” He let out a long breath, calming himself down and letting a weak, yet genuine smile cross his lips again as he looked at Blaine completely. He did trust him, knew that he wouldn’t actually mean that. It was probably just nerves in the both of them, since they’d both already admitted to it. That was the explanation.

Kurt clamped his eyes closed tightly. This was exactly what he’d been dreading, this sort of question was the reason he didn’t do this and he was so incredibly tempted just to shrug, comply to what Blaine wanted them to be and just grow with it. That’s what he’d done in the past when he couldn’t bring himself to give an honest answer to a similar question; he’d just asked right back, gained an answer which was good enough and reciprocated in that way. Normally these conversations were at least easier when not stuck in a car on their way to a date of some sort when tension was already high. Normally they were conducted with soft tones, curiosity and not frustration which he could hear clearly in Blaine’s tone as he wrapped his arms around himself protectively before sighing. “I don’t know…” Kurt answered in a small, quiet voice. That was the truth, he honestly didn’t know what Blaine was. Yes he liked him, he’d made that clear, but he wasn’t ready to date anyone. He didn’t date. What the hell was he doing here? He couldn’t lead Blaine on, he was too nice of a guy to do that to and he definitely didn’t deserve this broken, hesitant version of Kurt to have to deal with. Kurt blinked a few times at the threatening tears, biting his lip a little and chipping away at his thumb nail nervously. “I do like you Blaine… I like you as a friend and I’d told you that I think of you as more… It’s just complicated.”