Blaine opened his mouth in shock, of course he didn’t think that, not even close. Since he’d first met Kurt he hadn’t judged a single thing about the man, not the way he sang, or dressed, or the way he styled his hair, or even when he had avoided him at the bar not so long ago. He had assumed things, listened to every last word that came out of the actor’s mouth and jumbled them all together into some loose cohesiveness where he made plausible assumptions to what had happened to him and why he acted certain ways or said things the way he did. But never once, in the entire time that he had known Kurt, had he ever judged him…and Blaine honestly felt so taken aback that he immediately closed his mouth and glanced elsewhere, knowing somewhere deep down that he hadn’t meant it the way it came out. He leaned against the door frame, glancing idly out of the driver’s side window with as calm of a tone as he could, “No, that’s not what I meant.” The musician turned back, deciding it was best to just drop it altogether as he forced a small smile while Kurt sort of covered up his initial remark with an explanation of his father’s truck. “Well thank you, like I said before, I’ll take your suggestion to heart because I’m positive you know a fair amount more about fixing up cars then I do.” Blaine shifted somewhat in his seat, and reached towards the console to turn on the heat, “Yes she is, very pretty indeed…oh, you mean my Jeep,” he chuckled guiltily, his cheeks warming the slightest bit, barely visible in the dimly lit car. “Rachel Berry’s sweaters? I don’t think I’ve really witnessed her plethora of sweater wearing, but I will keep an eye out for it.”

Blaine hesitated before watching Kurt as he spoke, listening fairly careful because it was times like these, he noticed, when he started to have that odd sense that something about what the actor was saying wasn’t, well…right, for lack of a better word. He wasn’t lying, at he least he didn’t think he was, but then again Blaine both couldn’t tell the difference between when someone was lying or telling the truth and he just had a naive feeling that if he didn’t lie to Kurt then he wouldn’t do the same in return. Nodding his head he managed to look out the window once more, leaning back into his seat with an unnerving air about him as he let his thoughts kind of just run wild, his thumb instinctively rubbing gentle circles along Kurt’s palm, “Its nothing, really. You’re right and I should just let it go…” he muttered in the most uncharacteristically grim tone as he continued to stare out the window. Snapping out of his moment he noticed the awfully concerned look on Kurt’s face, knowing full well that his response was not nearly sufficient enough of an answer. The musician eyed their hands for a couple seconds, sighing a little when Kurt told him to talk to him, immediately making him feel the slightest bit guilty. “I don’t know what to tell you Kurt…I’m just nervous. I’ve made a number of mistakes in my past, something’s I shouldn’t have done and other things I could’ve done..and I know, I’m just letting these things get to me after all these years but I’m just a mess…honestly Kurt, I’m a mess.” Blaine lifted his gaze from their hands to the drama major, his expression sad and regretful. “I know you said I won’t mess anything up…but you don’t understand, I have the most unfortunate luck of messing things up, ruining things, losing people. And I know I haven’t known you for all that long but I can’t keep the thought out of my mind of just making the same mistakes with you…because that is honestly the last thing I want to do…you mean a lot to me.”

“I know…” Kurt glanced down to the floor, sighing guiltily. He honestly hadn’t meant to sound that harsh - it was just a reflex gained from years of teasing and abuse wearing him down. Kurt knew fine well that this was the last thing that Blaine would ever say to him in that manner, whether he thought it or not was a different matter, but he would definitely never actually say it out loud to Kurt’s face; the actor was also fairly sure that Blaine wouldn’t even say it to anyone behind Kurt’s back if he was thinking it. He just didn’t seem the type to talk badly about anyone, where as Kurt quite enjoyed the odd complaining and bitching session about people. It was an admirable trait of Blaine’s, which Kurt adored and applauded him for having. “I probably do.” He gave another apologetic smile, still feeling guilty about already putting an awkward moment over the night already. “Both are pretty, although I was talking about your car. She suits you, actually.” It was true in a way. The Jeep just matched Blaine so well, it was kind of amusing and Kurt couldn’t imagine him driving anything else. “Oh trust me, you don’t want to see them. They’d hurt your eyes, destroy your vision, your life would be changed forever - you’re lucky you haven’t had to undergo the torture of watching her sing - and she is seriously talented, I’ll give her that - and all you can think is how badly you want to burn her outfit for going against every fashion law there is in existence.” Kurt lightened the mood with a soft chuckle and realizing his dramatic hand gestures he’d been making whilst speaking, blushed a little. Once he got started, he just couldn’t stop.

Kurt bit his lip slightly, letting his gaze fall just past Blaine and out of the window behind him. He let his shoulder fall back to rest on the back of the chair, his temple resting against the headrest as his eyes flicked back onto Blaine quickly. “I never said you should let it go, Blaine…” Kurt could feel his eyebrows knitting tighter in concern, his lips parting slightly in a half ready way to comfort or to remark as best as he could. He’d never heard Blaine like this and it was worrying. Kurt had half a mind to get out of the car, walk around the other side and remove the keys and make Blaine talk to him - but that was neither productive nor something Kurt was willing to do. “I’ve done a lot of things that I’m not proud of either, and you’ve seem just how much of a mess I am - in fact I’m probably even more so. Trust me, we just need to help eachother and I’m here no matter what, okay?” It was hard to stop the heart skipping a beat at those words and Kurt honestly couldn’t figure out if it was from shock or happiness or dread at this hinting. He was fine with the whole ‘I like you’ situation but it was hard to swallow anything deeper than that right now. “Hey… If you have unfortunate luck, then I do to. Because I lose everyone even though I’ve never really had anyone, I ruin things a lot by letting my emotions getting the better of me and because I’m controlling. But I need you to understand one thing - I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’m always going to be a friend.”