Kurt hated himself for sounding so weak, the way he was pushing against Nick’s shoulders and making no difference to the force at which he was being held against the wall. It always started this way, one or two drinks with friends turned into many more from his boyfriend while Kurt stuck to drinking water the entire evening, passing it off for vodka. He’d hoped everytime that this happened that he could manage to just crawl into either his bed or Nick’s bed and just sleep forgetting how embarrassing it was to be around the normally suave boy when he was intoxicated. But his hopes for a semi-early night were dashed since Nick clearly had other plans which Kurt was going to make sure didn’t happen one way or another. However the force and the strength exuded from the other man was just too much to force off. He could feel the nipping, the sloppy kisses and the suction along the collumn of his neck and all Kurt could do was beg for it to stop. The tears were prickling his eyes and there was nothing he could do but try to hold back his sobs and just hope that Nick would eventually get bored and give up. After letting out a choked sob, Kurt could have almost sighed in relief when his boyfriend pulled back. But instead of the concern or the questioning look which he expected, all Kurt could see was anger.

It was truly frightening seeing Nick like this, he’d never once directed any form of anger towards Kurt and yet there he was staring at Kurt like he was digusted and infuriated. As Nick stepped back and turned away, Kurt sagged against the wall, trying desperately to control his shaky breathing and the tears rolling down his cheeks in between quiet sobs. His entire body was shaking and his legs felt far too weak to allow him to move despite wanting to do so for however long he’d been pinned there. He hadn’t even noticed that his eyes had been closed until he heard a loud crash, causing them to snap open immediately, clouded by the tears. Once his vision cleared however, the distruction was clear. The antique vase, which Kurt had somewhat demanded Nick bought from the vintage fair he’d dragged him to because it went so well with the decor of the somewhat simplistic apartment, lay shattered on the wooden floor. The table it had been sat on was collapsed with one leg seriously broken. Kurt should have thought about getting out of there, but really wasn’t this his fault? He’d broken down and infuriated Nick to the point of destruction of his own property. Taking a deep breath, Kurt allowed himself to look across the rest of the room to the dishevelled mess which was Nick. He was panting in his anger, staring straight at Kurt.

“Useless.” Kurt felt the word hit him like boiling oil. It prickled and burnt his skin sending searing pain and leaving a terrible taste in his mouth and yet he was frozen to the spot. “Who would want you?” Another burn, catching his breath sharply as he felt the air burn all the way into his lungs. He could feel the acid scarring his oesophagus as he tried desperately to keep a somewhat calm exterior. “You’re disgusting,” Nick spat again and Kurt visibly flinched, “just look at you!” Kurt closed his eyes sharply. This wasn’t his Nick speaking at all, it was the alcohol entirely. He couldn’t take this personally in the slightest. “You’re lucky to have me, you know? Because there’s no one on this planet who would want you, Kurt.” The venom which surrounded the way Nick said his name caused his stomach to lurch slightly and Kurt pressed his palms flat against the wall to steady himself. “I treat you well and you give me nothing in return. I have to force you to even kiss me and we’ve been dating for months!” He could see Nick drawing closer and all he could do was shake his head in a half pleading manner before his chin was taken roughly into Nick’s grip, forcing his head up sharply and jarring the muscles of his neck. Nick’s other hand traced Kurt’s collarbone, fingernail dragging across the pale flesh with purposeful pressure to leave a red line following.

“Please, Nick, stop…” That same little weak voice, the pleading one in between body wracking sobs as he felt the buttons of his shirt being opened clumsily. The Nick stopped again, as per Kurt’s request before he felt a sharp sting across his left cheek. It took a while to register that Nick had just hit him until he tasted the metallic sign of blood from his lip from where he’d bitten down on the tender flesh during the assault.

“Kurt…” The softness, the complete tenderness to the tone of his name caused Kurt to look up whilst cradelling his stinging cheek with his palm until it was pulled away gently. It was like a complete switch, the normal, careful, sweet Nick was back pressing a featherlight kiss to his red, stinging skin and caressing his jaw so softly that it just felt like normality again, like nothing had happened. “I’m sorry, Kurt. I didn’t mean to… You just make me so frustrated sometimes… Come here.” And with that he was pulled into a one sided hug, completely numb and drained and overwhelmed with so many thoughts and emotions that he was willingly being held like he was a ragdoll, shocked into silence.