Kurt was used to running away from things which didn’t go to plan. He was used to running from everything when his feelings were hurt, when he felt scarred and damaged, when he was terrified or when he’d be left wondering how he was supposed to cope with situations. While being self proclaimed social, Kurt lacked the ability to really deal with his own emotions and he couldn’t blame anyone but himself. Sure there were points in his life where everything had just gotten a little bit worse, but it was Kurt who bottled that up, who filed it away and pretended it never happened and yet still continued the emotional baggage. Being rejected, being used, being hurt… He was so used to all of those, he was ready to deal with them over and over and simply perfect his shield. But when it came to emotions, it came to matters which touched his heart… There was nothing to shield him and so he’d used flight as a mechanism for avoiding this. Right now, he was fighting the urge to just turn and run as he chipped nervously at his thumb nail as he listened for tell tail signs of movement within the house, for the moment when he would have to face up to everything he’d been denying himself regardless of if it was too late or not. His eyes flicked up as he caught sight of the shadow falling across the door way and he stood back just a little, avoiding Blaine’s eye for as long as he could.

He felt tired all of a sudden, looking up at Blaine and just taking in his appearance. He looked tired, hurt and honestly, Kurt had never wanted to see him look anything like that night of his breakdown; especially not because of himself. The actor opened his mouth to respond to Blaine’s question, yet he couldn’t formulate anything in response. Because he was there for a reason and yet he just couldn’t forumate the words all that well without going off on a complete ramble about everything and anything he could possibly say. “I… Just hear me out, please?” He begged the musician quietly, playing with the end of his scarf as a distraction.�“Firstly, I’m sorry. Honestly, I’m so unbelievably sorry for absolutely everything. I shouldn’t have reacted like that; I had no reason to be mad at you, I had no reason to react so badly to everything…” He took a deep breath to calm himself down, to stop his voice from rising an octave and from speeding away until he was soudning unintellagable. “Blaine… I care about you a lot, you’ve completely changed my life ever since the first moment I spoke to you and I honestly can’t imagine not being able to just text you in the middle of class or turn up and watch movies with you…”

He took another breath, judging Blaine’s expression slightly before continuing. “I love how, no matter what the weather is like outside, I can always grab your hand and it’s always warm; you’re always warm. I love how you’re always leisurely whenever we have dinner together. I love how whenever you’re thinking, you crease your eyebrows and bite the corner of your mouth. I love how you get so passionate about things that mean something to you enough that you’ll actually put all your effort into explaining it. I love how whenever I spend time with you, I go home and I can still smell you on my clothes. I love how you never judge me for my fears and my insecurities. I love how you’re not afraid to be yourself around me and consequently, I love how I feel like there’s absolutely no wall I need to put up when it comes to who I am with you. I love how you’re the last person I ever want to talk to at night and the first one I want to talk to on a morning… And I’m not here right now because I’m lonely, I’m not here because I have no one else, because truthfully, I’ve learnt to live like that in the past and continuing that way would take learning but I could do it.” Kurt looked up, reaching out to take Blaine’s hand in his own cold one. “I came here to tell you the complete truth and if you decide that enough is enough, then I’ll leave you alone, if you don’t want to have anything to do with me, then I’ll respect that…” He could feel his eyes swelling with tears, the emotion clouding his voice. “I’m here because I need to tell you that I love you too, Blaine.”

I can’t do this…I just can’t.�What was the point of going into a full-on, in-depth monologue of how sorry he was if the moral of the story was going to be something he had unfortunately already heard once before? Because hearing�“I’m sorry, Blaine…but I don’t feel the same way about you”�once was hard enough, especially after being in a relationship for as long as he’d been in. It was heartbreaking, emotionally pain-inducing, overall devastatingly�disappointing�and it just left him so raw and helpless…but that’s exactly what love was, heartache…for me at least.�And the one time he had received the same affection in return…that one time where he was young and naive but he would have sworn that he and James were meant to be together for however long their physical bodies lasted…well that was the one time everything crumbled between his fingertips and left him eternally damaged. The musician knew heartbreak, he knew pain - both physical and emotional - and he knew when he simply just could not handle something. That night at the bar? He was lucky if anything, he had grown angry and frustrated because he had no idea that he was being purposely ignored for no apparent reason - at the time at least. The date to see Wicked? Failed, miserably. He had no chance once the memories flooded back to him, the unwanted and pent-up emotions and past hauntings that he had�buried�deep down until they all came rushing back to the surface and left him a sobbing, pathetically weak boy who managed to embarrass himself in front of someone he admittedly had feelings for. But this? This was a whole new level of something he couldn’t handle. In fact, he had half a mind to stop Kurt mid-sentence when he started to apologize because it really wasn’t his fault. It was Blaine who had made poor decision after poor decision at the bar with Sebastian, and it was his fault for expecting some sort of response to his confession. So what if Kurt wanted some time away from him to process the fact that his�close friend�had admitted he had strong feelings for him? His actions were justified, Blaine’s�reaction while away in Rochester, however, was unnecessary.

The music major’s thoughts were suddenly put on hold as his gaze finally met perhaps the most strikingly gorgeous pair of honest blue-green eyes he’d ever seen, his own lips pressing into a loose line and his fingers�clutching�painfully hard at the door’s wooden edge as the actor started to list all the things he�loved�about the musician. Blaine wasn’t really sure of how to feel or what to think - provided that he was even capable of doing such a thing at a time like so. At some point he was subconsciously aware of where this was going, what Kurt was leading up to saying…but he had no intention of being letdown and hurt like that again, so he refused to accept the possibility, refused to process the words that were leaving his mouth until he got caught up on three stupid little words. The hand holding his felt nearly frozen as he glanced down at the pale skin, �his mind racing to make sense of what he had just said despite the fact that the theater major had spoken clear as day. But as his eyes lingered back up towards Kurt’s and took in the sincere and simultaneously uncertain expression he felt that connection again, the eye-contact that they had felt so comfortable with from day one at the coffee shop. It was difficult not to feel mesmerized by the everything that this man was because this face that belong to this actor, this�amazing�individual that he had been so unbelievably lucky to cross paths with…well this was the very man he was in love with. Fingers loosened their grip from the door as a small step forward pulled him from the warmth of the house, his hand pulling the door closed behind him. The musician allowed his hand to slip away from Kurt’s before both found their way to rest against his cold cheeks as his entire body leaned into the actor to meet his lips with his own. It was sudden and it was unexpected, but more importantly…it was�right.�He could have stood their in the cold forever with his face being held delicately in his hands and their bodies close while he lavished in the affectionate kisses that he continuously pressed to Kurt’s soft lips. Eventually he gradually slowed his lips against the theater major’s before pulling away so that they were barely touching, his eyes closed as he breathed lightly against him and murmured nearly inaudibly, “Kurt…don’t do that to me again, alright?” he said with a breathless laugh and embraced their lips together once more.