April 9, 2013, 10:33 a.m.
Kiss me goodbye: 034-036
M - Words: 5,001 - Last Updated: Apr 09, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 25/25 - Created: Oct 19, 2012 - Updated: Apr 13, 2022 959 0 3 0 1
034 - The night sky
The morning after his little sleep-in is a tiny bit awkward, but not horribly so. It's just that it's definitely a little too soon for them to be sleeping together yet, although they both know it wasn't exactly planned. At the same time, though, they don't really regret it, because in many ways it was very beautiful. The awkwardness is also partly because it seems neither of them really know what they are supposed to do next. Rachel is still sleeping, the sun is just coming up, and the two of them are standing in the living room, fidgeting, not able to keep eye contact for very long, but not able to look away long either. Blaine realises then that he's still wearing yesterday's clothes after sleeping in them, and that he really needs a change and a shower, plus it's Friday so they both still have classes later, so in conclusion he really needs to leave. It's probably good for them both to get a little time apart to think now, anyway. So he tells Kurt goodbye with a long hug and leaves, both of their smiles soft and shy and happy as Kurt closes the door after him.
Blaine doesn't meet Kurt on Saturday, but he talks on the phone with him in the evening. They don't say anything very meaningful, just silly things, everyday stuff and a little flirting. To Blaine it feels slow and careful, and in many ways very different from his previous relationships, but it's also so much like Kurt himself, and he doesn't mind waiting or going slow, he enjoys it. And he never imagined it going any other way with Kurt, this is exactly how it's supposed to go. Kurt is still careful, and Blaine can feel the hesitance in his words and between them, but it really would feel wrong in a way, if Kurt wasn't. Kurt is special, in a very good way, but it also means that many rules Blaine is used to don't adapt. And it's more than fine, because Kurt is a strange, new and beautiful planet that he gets to discover and explore. Actually, that is a really good analogy. For so long Kurt was like the sky above that he could see and admire, but only from afar. And now that he gets to touch that previously unreachable sky, it's just fair that the exploration should be slow and careful.
Blaine knows nothing is sure yet, nothing is set in stone, and he feels his trip to the skies could end at any point, but he just has to take what he can get and enjoy it all when it's there. He feels cheesy and corny, thinking this, but he feels light and happy and so what if he's being stupid and sentimental? He's allowed to be. When they meet on Sunday, he touches Kurt's arm and calls him the Night Sky (because Kurt is wearing a black shirt), which of course earns him a confused and wary smile. Blaine can't help grinning as he hugs Kurt and then sits down to their usual table in the coffee shop.
"Oh, it's just a nickname I came up with… Don't you like it?" he grins.
"Is there a story behind it or did you just.. come up with it?" Kurt says, and he's still a bit confused, but also smiling in a way that makes Blaine know he is really fine with it, and possibly secretly happy to get a nickname.
"Oh there's definitely a story. I just don't know if I should tell it. You'll laugh." Blaine feels a bit silly about the whole analogy thing, but he also thinks Kurt might like it despite all the corniness.
"I promise I won't!" Kurt says, looking almost serious, even though it's really just such a silly thing. Blaine thinks it's maybe that Kurt has just grown very sensitive about people laughing at others, at him, through everything that has happened to him before. A fleeting sadness comes with the thought, but he pushes it away. He smiles at Kurt warmly, eyes both kind and a little mischievous, and he tells Kurt his little analogy about touching the untouchable skies. Kurt lets out a little laugh, but it's more just a happy, and possibly a little disbelieving, sound than any mirth at Blaine's cheesiness. Blaine is just glad he can make Kurt happy, no matter what way.
"That was kind of cheesy. But also really nice, I guess. Thank you." Kurt says with a quiet voice and just a bit too serious, betraying how much it all really meant to him. After a while Blaine cautiously takes Kurt's hand, that's been resting on the table, and brushes his own thumb on his.
"So can I call you that?"
"What?"
"Night Sky."
The smile Kurt gives at that is carefree and light, and almost unbearably glad, the kind of smile Blaine has probably never seen on him yet. It's captivating, and definitely contagious.
"Sure, if you want to," Kurt says, blushing a little, and they both laugh at their own silliness. They are college students acting like they're still in middle school, but it's fine, because they are just two people who have just now found each other, and who is to tell them how they should or should not act? Surely not Blaine. Reality and life can catch them later. Then Kurt seems to get an idea as something flashes in his eyes.
"When are we going to do the next photo shoot?" he asks, carefully, and Blaine can feel it's not the real question yet.
"Um, whenever. Next week, if you want?" Blaine says, trying to convince Kurt to say whatever he is thinking but not saying with his look.
"Yeah, okay…" Kurt takes his hand from Blaine and twists his own together, a little nervous gesture. Not panicked, more just insecurity, maybe afraid of Blaine's reaction. Blaine waits, but after Kurt struggles with what is going on in his head for a while, nothing coming out, he just can't wait.
"Please just tell me what you're thinking. I promise I won't laugh," he says, a sparkle in his eyes, using the earlier conversation hoping that it would make Kurt feel a little easier to speak out.
"Ok. Ok. Um, I just, your nickname..." that made Kurt flush for some reason, "well it just made me think about this one dream in my book and I got an idea?" The end rising, almost as if it's a question, though Blaine doesn't know what it's asking, exactly.
"Okay. Let's hear it," he smiles.
"Well, uh, I have this dream in my book about being an astronaut and being in space, and well, we could do some photo where I am in space, because you called me, well you know, and I think it would just be…" the last word is muttered so low Blaine couldn't possibly catch it.
"What would it be?" His voice is gentle.
"Sweet. It would be sweet." Kurt mutters to his hands, just a little louder, his cheeks pretty much red by now.
"Yeah, I think it would be," Blaine says and pries one of Kurt's hands back to his. Kurt looks up at him, a little surprised. "What? Did you think I wouldn't find it sweet?" he asks, honestly a bit confused.
Kurt makes a little, awkward sound, but smiles then, a little unsure and a little hopeful.
"Yeah.. No? I don't know." He lets out a little laugh at himself, "I'm being silly, aren't I?"
"I just told you that I thought you were the sky and I was the astronaut coming to explore you. If there was a competition, it would definitely be a tie." Kurt's laugh is sincere and free now, his eyes sparkling, and Blaine couldn't help compare them to the stars in the night sky of his analogy. He wants to laugh at himself for being so ridiculous.
"I already have an idea for the shoot. A perfect idea, Night Sky." Kurt let's out another short laugh.
"Oh my God, that nickname is so awkward," he laughs, and Blaine can read the 'but I like it' from his expression.
035 - Butterflies
Kurt is so high that he feels like he could easily grab a top hat and a cane and sing and dance in this downpour that the city of New York is currently experiencing. And by 'high' he doesn't mean high from drugs, but high like floating in the air simply because he feels so absolutely elated and like straight from his favourite musicals, as he walks side by side with Blaine in the pouring rain, trying unsuccessfully to avoid the puddles and stay under their one umbrella. He's still waiting for the moment when this all starts to feel real, but this dream-like state is not exactly unpleasant, so he'll take it, gladly. He lets out a small giggle, and thinks how uncharacteristic that sound is to him and how much things have changed, but then gives up because it's impossible to wrap his head around. He knows he was so scared in the beginning, so unsure, and frankly, he knows those feelings are all still there, but it's so easy not to dwell on them or what is to come, when he gets to be close to Blaine and hear his more than a little ridiculous flirts and feel cared for and wanted.
They are on their way to the same campus studio where they took the first photo for their project. They are going to make their silly Night sky photos, which turned out not to be that silly at all in the end, because even when Blaine is being overly corny, his photo ideas are still always striking. They are going to use the black background fabric and stick huge amounts of glow-in-the-dark stars in it, then Kurt will wear all black clothes, including a black mask, and his clothes will be full of the stars too. And they think that when they turn the lights out they will hopefully get a grainy dark photograph with lots of shiny stars and just the faint outlines of Kurt among them, him being literally in the night sky. Even though Kurt's dream was really more about becoming an astronaut, the exact wording was "13. One day I want to be in the space like Neil Armstrong", which means technically this interpretation works as well. If you forget the Neil Armstrong part. But it's their project so they decide what goes and what doesn't, and Kurt is more than fine with this plan, because it sounds really beautiful and also it's really romantic in a really silly way.
Aino is coming to help them set up the place, mostly because Kurt feels like he should meet up with her again, as she's a really good friend and the last time he saw her he was practically blind and mute, and besides another pair of hands putting up the stars won't hurt anyway. They are going to meet her at the studio so they are in a little bit of hurry so she doesn't have to wait. Then Blaine points at something in front of them and tells him to look. First Kurt doesn't see what he means but then he gets it.
It's a couple, a girl and a boy, standing under their umbrella, holding each other close and looking deep into each other's eyes like the whole world, the rain and the people, have simple ceased to exist. They lean in for a kiss and they look so perfectly content and in love that it hurts him a little to watch. It also feels so intimate and private that he feels like he should look away, but he can't, because they are mesmerizing. There is nothing really special in the two of them or the scene, but maybe that really is the most striking feature. They are in love, and that is all.
"Aren't they so sweet?" Blaine asks him quietly, with a small smile on his lips. Kurt nods, and glances at Blaine quickly. He freezes a little, when he sees the wistful and hopeful look on Blaine's face. Suddenly it feels hard for him to talk. He sees Blaine's expression and he can almost hear Blaine's thoughts, it's so clear to Kurt. That Blaine wants that. Blaine wants love, and tenderness and easy stability. Blaine wants to be that couple kissing in the rain, and Kurt somehow feels so small, so unready, and so afraid. Small, because he doesn't know if he could ever be that brave and confident that he could be like that with Blaine, with anyone. He feels unready, because this is such a strange new world for him and he has barely managed to get a little peek at it, and what Blaine seems to want is so huge, so much more than Kurt has gotten a chance to be prepared for. And he feels afraid, because what if he is not ready fast enough and Blaine gets bored waiting for him?
He knows Blaine told him that he is willing to wait, that there is no hurry. But that wistful look in Blaine's eyes tell him all he needs to know about Blaine's wants and needs. He knows Blaine would never push him for anything, but how much does he have time, before Blaine finds someone else, who doesn't need weeks or months to kiss with him in the rain under an umbrella? Because no matter how unready he might be, he likes Blaine more than he dares to think, and he does not want to lose him. He cannot lose him. He promised himself that he would hold on to this for as long as he can, and he will. What does it matter if he has to jump over a few of his own fences, as long as he gets to keep Blaine a little longer, gets to hold his hand and kiss him and see that lovely, tender glint in his eyes directed to him?
He feels scared, and a little bit desperate, but he also knows what he has to do, what he really wants to do, and he is determined. He will not run away this time, this time he will win himself, he will have to, because the prize is Blaine and all the wonderful things that having him means. And he will not let that go if he has any means to keep it. And why wouldn't he be ready for Blaine, Blaine who has been nothing but nice to him and who wants Kurt just as much as Kurt wants him? There is no reason to be a coward and wait. No reason at all.
He takes Blaine's hand in his own when they continue walking, and Blaine smiles at him, a little bit surprised (because this is the first time they've held hands in a really public place, where people can and probably will recognise them), but glad and squeezes Kurt's gently to tell him it's more than fine. And it is more than fine, it feels wonderful, like a drug in a way, because Kurt Hummel is walking hand in hand with a gorgeous boy on the campus and let everyone see! He has been and still is scared of PDA and what people would think or do, but doing this, even this little thing, while scary also ultimately feels like winning himself and like winning the world around him. It's showing them that even if a part of him is scared of them, he still won't back down - and yes, venturing on is definitely the right thing to do.
Then, out of the blue, Zach of all people is there in front of them, grinning like a mental case. First Kurt doesn't understand why he is that excited to see them, but then he sees Zach's eyes flickering continuously to their still joined hands and how his grin widens every time.
".. Hi Zach." Kurt says, smiling but quiet.
"You're holding hands!" Zach exclaims, in lieu of a greeting. Blaine laughs at that.
"Yeah, I noticed," Blaine chuckles good-humouredly, flashing Kurt a smile. He seems so happy.
"I thought you already told him about.. well, about this?" Kurt asks Blaine, a little confused.
"Yeah, he told me all about it, hasn't really shut up about it really, but it's different to hear and actually see, you know," Zach gives him an honest-to-God wink, but his smile is nothing but friendly. It makes Kurt feel accepted. "Oh God, I've waited for this for so long!" Zach continues. "Now I can make all the bad couple jokes about you two!" That makes Kurt blush and look down a little awkwardly. Blaine sounds a bit uncomfortable too.
"Uh, Zach, I told you we are not exactly a couple yet… We're still figuring things out." Blaine says, glancing at Kurt with a careful look, sounding serious and like he's trying to tell Zach to back off, and Zach seems to get the point. Kurt thinks that is really what makes Zach such a good friend - he is goofy and enthusiastic, but he always knows when it's time to stop.
"Ok, I get it, no need to sweat. Though I'm pretty sure that's rain, not sweat," he says with a friendly smile, pointing at their dripping wet shoulders. And just like that, it's easy again. Zach seems to already know they are doing the photo shoot and he decides that as he has nothing better to do at the moment, he wants to come with them and join the fun. Kurt and Blaine have nothing against that, the more the merrier, so they continue together, chatting about unimportant things and laughing at bad jokes.
Kurt has decided that he will tell Blaine today that he is ready to call them a couple, call them boyfriends and commit to that, if Blaine wants it. It's so easy to forget the fears he has, forget the uncertainty or the uncomfortable feeling of too early and too much in his gut, push it all somewhere in the back storages of his mind, when it's all so happy and easy in moments like this. Because he truly does want this, Blaine is all his dreams personified and he truly can't imagine someone or something he could want more. And if the butterflies in his stomach are not all happy ones, then who's counting? Most of them are, and that just has to be enough.
036 - Boyfriends
They are walking towards the studio, and Blaine's shoes are completely soaked through. Strangely, though, he doesn't mind at all. He feels excited and a trivial thing like wet shoes can't diminish it. He's excited, because he can't wait to get on with this next photo shoot, as he is still a photographer and this project is very important to him. He feels confident that his idea will come out great, and it will be so much fun to do it. He is also excited, because Kurt is still holding his hand in front of Zach and whoever else might have seen it on the way. It's not so much the holding hands in itself, because while it's definitely nice and he would never object to hand-holding, he is not, in fact, in middle school anymore and it's not such a magical thing any longer. It's more about the fact that his shy, scared-of-most-people Kurt took his hand in the middle of the campus and held on tight, and that is magical.
He has sensed both Kurt's happiness and his hesitation, and he has tried his best to let Kurt call the shots about how fast they move. Of course he wants more, he wants a lot with Kurt, but he has no particular hurry, because the most important thing is that Kurt is comfortable. But he also won't decide what Kurt is or isn't ready for, anymore. He's learned his lesson about that. So the simple guideline he's following is to let Kurt lead, and not assume things or decide things for him. Of course that doesn't mean that he would do anything he himself doesn't feel is right, but he won't try to decide what's right for Kurt, either, if he can help it. God knows, that hasn't helped his case before. And, in this case, Kurt had told him he was scared and did not know what he was ready for yet, so obviously he needs to give Kurt time to figure that out.
And really, he doesn't have problem with going slow. This silly middle school romance thing they have had going the last few days is pretty nice in all it's ridiculousness, anyway. Especially because they both know it's ridiculous. Holding hands, innocent little kisses, really corny flirting - it's silly and endearing and fun and, most importantly, simple enough for now. They have a lot of ground to cover, and he knows Kurt and he both have serious things they need to talk through and test the waters with, and it's not going to be this simple all the time, so it's nice to enjoy this easy silliness for a little while, and just cherish the idea that the other one wants you. He thinks it's good for the both of them after all their misunderstandings and drama. Besides, Blaine never had the chance to have a middle school romance in actual middle school, so he'll take what he gets.
They meet Aino in front of the studio and she looks absolutely miserable. She's soaked through, not a piece of clothing on her that isn't dripping water. She's doesn't have an umbrella with her, which explains a lot. She looks tiny; Blaine guesses she isn't that tall to begin with and with her hair only thin wet stripes around her face and her arms wrapped tightly around her body makes her look just that much smaller. She's also shivering with cold. Her expression is pretty glum too, although it brightens marginally when she notices them. She greets them with a sort of pathetic smile, and something protective rises it's head inside him, telling him to take care of this sad looking girl.
Apparently he's got nothing against Zach's protective instinct though. That becomes clear, when Zach notices who they are greeting and probably figures out this is the famous Aino, though he has never met him before, and goes to her in a second, already taking his jacket off and wrapping it around her and moving his hands up and down her arms to try to make her warmer. Blaine can't help but laugh a little as he sees the absolute horror on Aino's face, when this stranger just comes onto her, and how she tries her best to struggle away from Zach's invading touches. Kurt looks pretty horrified by Zach's actions too.
"Zach, uh, could you please just step away from her, ok?" Kurt says, sounding awkward but also really concerned. Zach takes a step back but doesn't get far.
"But can't you see she's freezing!" he whines a bit desperately, apparently really concerned about the girl.
"She also looks like you're molesting her," Blaine points out helpfully. He would laugh, but the situation is really not that nice for her, so he tries to concentrate on that. Zach seems to realise the truth in Blaine's words, as his eyes widen in his own kind of horror.
"Oh God, I'm so sorry! I didn't think! I'm Blaine and Kurt's friend, Zach, and you just stood there looking like you will drop dead the next minute, so I had to do something," Zach offers, a little helplessly. Aino's eyes flash in understanding when she hears Zach's name and explanation, though, and Blaine thinks Kurt must have told her at least something about him. She gives Zach a hesitant smile.
"It's okay, I think. I am freezing… Thanks for the coat," she tells Zach, wrapping the jacket around her a little tighter. Then she greets Kurt and Blaine too, and they all go back to the luckily toasty warm photography studio. Zach excuses himself to go find some vending machine with warm drinks, but not before he digs through his training bag and pulls out a small towel.
"Don't worry, it's clean," he says, winking as he hands it to Aino, who looks like she really doesn't know what's going on but also doesn't really mind. When Zach disappears out of the door, she turns to the other two. "He's.. really something, isn't he?" she says, smiling her little smile, and starts to towel her hair. Blaine and Kurt both agree with her. Then, while Aino is trying to get herself a little warmer and dryer, they start putting up the scene, finding the black background and starting to stick the glow-in-the-dark stars they have brought with them to it. The stars are easier to stick than they thought, with stickers behind them, and they realise pretty quickly that they wouldn't actually have needed any help for this. Aino joins them after a while, and in fifteen minutes they've got the whole fabric pretty much covered, from floor to somewhere over Kurt's head. Kurt dresses up in the black outfit he's brought with him, and offers the dry cardigan he had been wearing to Aino, a little shyly and probably not sure whether it's ok, but Aino seems grateful. Then they cover all of Kurt's front with the stars too, which makes Kurt look both really uncomfortable and a little giggly.
When they're ready, they turn out the lights and quickly realise they have a problem. The stars are barely glowing at all, and certainly not enough for them to show in any photos. For a while they just stare confusedly at the darkness in front of them. Then Aino, who is standing closest to the light switch, turns them on again, and all of their faces have fallen.
"What happened to them?" Kurt asks helplessly. Before they can discuss it more, Zach comes back in with three steaming cups of coffee. He grins at the scene they've put up before noticing the sad looks on their faces.
"What's wrong?" he frowns.
"The stars are not working," Aino says, and turns the lights off again to show, what she means. Zach lets out a laugh and Aino turns the lights on again.
"Of course they don't glow yet. Did you even read the instructions?" Zach smiles at them knowingly. "I know these things. They need to charge before they glow. Which means, we'll be stuck here for a while." Zach seems to have no problem with waiting. Blaine feels like he wants to hit his face in the wall. Of course he read that, he just forgot in his excitement. So, they proceed to wait for the half an hour that the stars need to be glowing properly. And somehow, without any of them realising, they have separated in two pairs, Kurt and Blaine talking about the shoot and night skies and other random things while not-so-absentmindedly caressing each other's hands, and Zach and Aino have fallen in a deep and clearly interesting conversation on the other side of the room. After a while Blaine quiets down and they both start looking at the other couple interacting. What had captured his attention was Aino's laugh, that came out strong and free and bubbly. It was so uncharacteristic to the normally held-back girl, and it sounded so full of easy joy. It's like Zach has gotten her out of her shell without her even realising. And then he feels Kurt wrap his arm so carefully around Blaine and leaning against him, in a way he hasn't really done before. It's not middle school any more, but something more. Blaine turns to look at him.
"What is it, Night sky?" he asks gently. Kurt searches for his words for a while, looking strangely scared but also very determined.
"Would you be my boyfriend? For real?" he asks, and his face and whole body give all the signs of being dead nervous, but his eyes don't leave Blaine's. A strong surge of affection constricts Blaine's chest. He didn't expect this to come so fast, he definitely didn't expect this now, but it feels good. He'd ask if Kurt was really sure, but he has to remind himself again that he won't question Kurt. Kurt seems to see the question in his eyes anyway and answers him.
"Yeah, I'm sure." he smiles a little. "What… what do you think?" he asks then, and now his eyes finally escape Blaine's, the suspense becoming too much, and Blaine realises he didn't answer Kurt yet.
"Of course I will, if that's what you want." he says firmly, but with a small smile. He'd grin like mad in a second, but this moment was serious. This moment was important in so many ways, so he'll wait.
Kurt gulps, but then nods decidedly. "I want it. I want you." he says, and Blaine is reminded of how Kurt said he wasn't sure what he wanted just a few days ago. Apparently he knew now, at least a little better than then. Blaine's smile widens into an unstoppable grin. He kissed Kurt firmly, just a tad bit stronger and deeper than their middle school kisses have been.
"Hello, boyfriend," he pulls back and grins, eyes twinkling. Kurt's nose crinkles with shy happiness, and it's a beautiful thing to see.
"Hello, boyfriend," he answers back. Neither of them have noticed that Zach is currently standing next to them, smiling his mad man smile again.
"So can I tell all the tasteless couple jokes now?" Zach's smug voice is way too loud for the distance between them and they both jump out of each others arms. They see Aino standing a few steps back, smiling and looking like she's so proud of the two of them. Blaine isn't sure if life can get better than it is, in moments like this.
The photos from the shoot turn out to be even better than Blaine dared to imagine. He decides to name it "Night sky". It seems like a good name.
Comments
I do love the fluffiness.... :)
I'm glad you enjoy it! But knowing me, drama is never far behind... ;)
finally bf's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!