If I Could Use Your Love
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If I Could Use Your Love: Chapter 8


T - Words: 2,941 - Last Updated: Apr 30, 2015
Story: Complete - Chapters: 36/? - Created: Jun 23, 2014 - Updated: Jun 23, 2014
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Author's Notes:

Song in this chapter:

After an Afternoon - Jason Mraz

 

Thanks for reading! Next update might take a little longer but Ill do my best! :)

Blaine wasnt surprised to see dawn breaking over the east side of his building a few hours later. It happened from time to time that he stayed out on the roof all night thinking, writing, or whatever else he needed to do to clear his head. It was his safe haven.

Wednesday. He didnt even know what to expect from Kurts parents. He wasnt sure he was really ready for this, but hed have to get used to meeting new people, opening up a bit. Blaine took a deep breath and stood up, heading back into his apartment.

He exhaled as he entered and found himself subconsciously walking towards his music room and sitting down at the piano. His fingers flew across the keys, plinking out various melodies from classical music hes memorized over the years. He let himself get lost in the music, repeating the same mantra over and over in his head. You can do this.


Wednesday early evening found Blaine in front of a mirror once again criticizing his outfit. He wore an olive green cardigan over a light gray v-neck and jeans. Casual, thats what this was. Just dinner with Kurt and his parents. As friends. Casual.

Blaine checked his watch before he left his apartment, making sure he wouldnt arrive at Kurts too early. It was still light out; summer had definitely taken over and the air was warm. This wasnt enough to distract Blaine, though. His nerves increased with every minute that passed as he drove.

Blaine pulled into Kurts driveway and was not surprised to find a rental car parked next to Kurts. After another emergency pep talk, Blaine climbed out of his car and sauntered up the front walk to the door. He waited a few seconds after ringing the doorbell, then Kurt pulled open the door, calling something over his shoulder to someone, (Blaine assumed his parents), and turned to greet Blaine. However, the moment Kurts blue eyes met Blaines own hazel ones, Kurts body froze.

"Im sorry, I know Im a few minutes early but..." Blaine muttered and scratched the back of his neck self-consciously. Kurt seemed to shake himself from his thoughts and smiled.

"No, no youre fine!" Kurt smiled. "Just, your cardigan, it—"

"Bad wardrobe choice?" Blaine asked, feeling even more self-conscious now as he wrapped his arms around his center.

"Not at all!" Kurt reassured excitedly. "Its—you should always wear that color. Im a huge supporter of changing up the wardrobe, but really, you should always wear green." Kurt rushed out. Blaine pretended not to notice the blush rising in his cheeks.

"I should?" Blaine lowered his arms but raised an eyebrow.

"Well, maybe not, but it really makes your eyes pop. Like, seriously, your eyes are the same color as your cardigan right now." Kurts eyes were darting back and fourth between Blaines and the cardigan he was wearing. Blaine blinked, unsure of how to answer to that. Instead Kurt cleared his throat and came back to his senses.

"Sorry, I just..." He cleared his throat again, "anyway, come on in, sorry for making you stand outside." Blaine shrugged and smiled, stepping past Kurt into his front hallway. It was weird to see him act like that, almost like he was flustered. Blaines thoughts were pushed aside when he heard a womans voice call from the kitchen.

"Kurt, the timers going off! Should I take the roast out of the oven?" Blaine assumed that was Kurts stepmother.

"Ill be right in, Carole!" Kurt nodded in the direction of his kitchen and Blaine followed. As soon as they turned the corner, Blaine immediately recognized the bald man hed seen on so many campaign ads and signs when he lived in Ohio. Instead of a classy suit and tie, this Burt Hummel was wearing a plaid flannel shirt and a worn baseball cap, as Kurt had predicted. Blaine liked this version of Burt better.

The woman talking with him was a beautiful middle-aged woman with short hair and a warm smile. She seemed just like the kind of person Kurt described her as, someone who would welcome anyone in with open arms.

Kurt cleared his throat and pulled the two of them from their conversation. He stepped aside to let Blaine into the room so he could introduce them.

"Dad, Carole, this is my friend Blaine." Kurt gestured to him and Blaine smiled slightly, giving the two of them a small wave. Carole rushed over and immediately pulled Blaine into a hug, just as Kurt warned him.

"Its so nice to meet you! Kurts told us so much about you," She said as she released him. He returned the hug lightly, and honestly wasnt bothered by the closeness at all. Carole was too nice to let it bother him.

"Its nice to meet you, too, maam." Blaine said politely, but she shook her head and waved her hand. "Please call me Carole. All these titles make me sound old!" She smiled kindly and stepped aside to let Burt introduce himself. Kurt took the opportunity to check on dinner and make sure everything was ready.

"Nice to finally put a face to the name," Burt smiled knowingly. "Im Burt." Blaine offered his hand and introduced himself.

"Blaine," he replied, "Its good to meet you, too, Mr. Hummel." Again, Blaine was corrected.

"None of that; I get enough ‘Mr. Hummel and ‘Sir when Im in Washington. Its Burt, got it?" He smiled and leaned against the island in the kitchen.

"Yes, si—Burt." Blaine smiled nervously, but caught Kurts reassuring glance as he put the roast on the stove.

"Good to know you took my advice about making something with sustenance!" Burt joked as Kurt began placing the food on platters, Carole not far behind him, helping out.

"I know well enough that Carole doesnt let you eat crap for food, so I figured Id spoil you a bit since I havent seen you in a while. A little red meat from time to time wont kill you. But as soon as you go back home youre back on your diet." Kurt told his dad firmly as he cut the roast and arranged it neatly on a platter.

"Yeah, yeah. Nothing but rabbit food, I got it." Burt rolled his eyes and Carole swatted his arm gently. The corner of Blaines lips turned up in a smile. Watching their banter was heartwarming.

"So Blaine!" Burt started as soon as they all sat down for dinner, "Where ya from anyway?" Blaine cleared his throat soundlessly before answering.

"Westerville, Ohio, actually." Blaine said quietly, gathering all the courage he could to speak up and somewhat confidently.

"No kidding! Really?" Burt said as he took a bite of potatoes.

"Yes, I went to USC for Music, and Ive been out here since." Blaine took a bite out of the roast, keeping his eyes downcast as he chewed. He had to stop himself from nearly groaning at the juicy flavor.

"This is delicious, Kurt." Blaine said once he swallowed, eagerly cutting another piece.

"Thank you," Kurt smiled happily. Blaine missed the knowing glance Burt sent across the table to Kurt, which of course, was ignored by the recipient. "I used as much spice as I dared with Dad here." Kurt told Blaine, who just nodded and took another bite.

"So Blaine," Carole began politely, "you went to college for music? Is that performance or education or something else?" She smiled invitingly at him.

"Performance, but I uh, took a minor in production. Right now Im working in a recording studio, but I usually play at a restaurant—um, Giovannis—a few evenings a week." Blaine sighed internally. He didnt have a reason to be nervous about talking about school and work, yet here he was nearly stuttering through dinner.

"Oh, how wonderful!" Carole exclaimed before taking another bite. "Are you playing sometime this week? We should go see you!" Blaine froze and glanced at Kurt, who watched him closely, a small amount of concern hidden in his crystal eyes, before giving him an encouraging nod.

"Well Im playing tomorrow night, around 7:30-ish." Blaine told Carole, "I can have Kayleigh make a reservation for you if youd like..."

"That sounds like fun!" Burt exclaimed. "Ever since the boys graduated Carole and I have been deprived of a good show," he explained. Blaine looked down at his plate and cleared his throat. Thankfully, Kurt saved him.

"Well you wont be disappointed if you go and see Blaine," Kurt gushed. "I told you that thats how I met him; I just had to compliment him after the first show I saw. I go back as often as I can." Blaine blushed at Kurts words. They were true, but the way he said them made his insides turn. Like Kurt was so proud to be able to say that they were friends. More than that, the look Kurt gave him said so much more. Blaine could feel the heat rising in the back of his neck and hoped Burt wouldnt pick on up the soft, loving look Kurt had aimed at him. Technically, they were still only ‘friends, but apparently Kurt was an even better actor than Blaine had originally believed. Blaine kept his eyes down and a small smile tugged across his lips as he glanced over at Kurt, pretending not to notice the knowing look Burt flashed his son.

"Well we should go and watch the show, then!" Carole clapped her hands enthusiastically and Blaine immediately felt a wave of nerves wash over him. What if Burt and Carole hated his set? He caught Kurts gaze and was sent a reassuring look, which calmed him down surprisingly quickly. Hed worry about tomorrow nights show later. For now, he had to tackle dinner.

The remainder of the evening was spent in Kurts living room chatting and laughing about Kurts family and old stories from when he lived back home in Ohio. Blaine laughed along and nodded his head at appropriate times, generally only speaking when prompted or when throwing in small side comments. He tried to ignore the questioning look Kurt gave him from time to time, but he knew Kurt was surprised by his shyness. He was never really like this when it was just the two of them. Conversation between them flowed easily and naturally.

Somewhere in the middle of a relatively vague story about rebuilding a car with his father, Blaine realized how late it was getting and moved to get up from the couch.

"Sorry, I should get going," He apologized politely as he stood. Burt stood up as well, offering a hand, which Blaine took.

"It was nice to meet you, Blaine. Well see you tomorrow night, I suppose!" Burt grinned and Blaine offered a small smile back. Carole pulled him into a hug, bidding him a similar goodbye, and Kurt offered to walk him out. He gave Burt and Carole another small wave followed by another "It was nice meeting you both," and led the way out of Kurts front door. He waited on the porch as Kurt closed the door quietly behind him, not uttering a word and looking slightly hesitant. Blaine cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Im sorry," He looked deeply into Kurts eyes, hoping that he wasnt angry or frustrated. Instead, he found a little bit of confusion in Kurts returning gaze.

"For what?" Kurt said as he stepped into place beside Blaine and walked with him out to the car.

"I just... I know Im a lot more talkative around you and honestly I dont know why that is, but this is the real me around strangers. I dont have a lot of social skills. I hope I didnt offend your parents. I know how much their approval means to you and I tried to be open, Im just... not there yet." Blaine stopped by the drivers side door to his car and sighed, praying to anyone listening that he didnt mess this up.

"Blaine, relax." Kurt smiled softly, taking his hand. "Id be lying if I said I wasnt surprised, mostly because youve been able to talk with me about anything right from the beginning, for the most part, but you told me this is who you are. And thats what Im here to help you with, remember? Thats why we agreed to this." Kurt gave his hand a comforting squeeze and continued. "This was just a practice run. Now we just need to figure out what to work on, and Im going to be here for that, remember?"

Before Blaine had time to think about what he was doing, he flung himself at Kurt and wrapped his arms around his waist, his chin buried deep in Kurts shoulder. Kurt giggled lightly and wrapped his own arms around Blaines shoulders.

"Thank you," Blaine whispered.

"Ill be here to help, I promise." Kurt murmured back to him. Blaine squeezed his arms tightly around Kurts torso one last time before reluctantly pulling away. Kurt kissed his cheek and smiled.

"See you tomorrow night?" He asked quietly. Blaine nodded and smiled in return.

"Thank you for having me over. Your parents are lovely," Blaine said as he opened the door to his car.

"Believe me, they think the same of you, I can tell," Kurt walked backwards up the path to his house. "Goodnight, Blaine."

"Goodnight, Kurt." Blaine climbed into his car as he gave Kurt a final wave. He was getting better, but not nearly close to there yet.


Blaine should have known that Kayleigh would reserve the table to the immediate left of the stage for Kurt and his parents. He nearly rolled his eyes and laughed as he began playing his set. Making sure everything was played to a T. These were Kurts parents after all, if the two of them were going to be ‘dating soon, he should at least prove himself worthy of dating Kurt.

He took a deep breath as he sat on the bench by the grand piano and began his set. He kept stealing glances across the stage towards Kurts family, awaiting any sign of reassurance, that they were actually enjoying his set. From what Blaine could gather, they seemed to like it well enough. He tried not to pay them too much notice, mostly because he didnt want to make it obvious how much he starved for their approval, but also because he didnt want to bring attention to Kurt and end up ruining their dinner thanks to a crowd of fans.

He took a final breath before his last song and glanced over to Kurt as he strummed his guitar lightly. With a wave of bold courage, he tilted the microphone up to speak.

"Thanks for coming out tonight, everyone. Im surprised no one has gotten sick of me yet, this is my last song, I promise." He strummed a few more chords before continuing.

"Before I begin though, I just want to say thank you to someone very special to me, and an even bigger thank you to a few people who are very special to him." Blaine ignored the pointed stare he got from Kayleigh as she sat people at a table in the far right corner. He glanced at the Hummel family and gave a faint but genuine smile.

"I dont know them very well yet, but it means a lot that theyre here for me tonight." Blaines smile grew as he began to play the opening chords to the song and sang softly.

I bare my windowed self untamed and untrained
Dreams that hardly touch our complexions truest faults
If room enough for both my drowsy spirit shall fall
Bold waves tumble oh to the season of my heart
And you have offended my faith and my trust
Until all is lost into the beauty of the day
Until all is lost, until all is lost

Blaine tried his hardest not to keep his eyes locked on Kurts, but he couldnt help glancing over every so often only to find Kurts gaze never leaving his face.

But theres something in the way you laugh
And it makes me feel like a child
Aspects of life they confuse me
You and your thesis amuse me
Oh, after and afternoon with you
And your rich brown eyes
Your lips and dark hair
Elbows and exposed knees tossing toward the ceiling
After an after, after an after, after an afternoon
After an after, after an afternoon with you

Maybe it wasnt the best approach, but Blaine needed to say something to prove he wasnt just some shy kid hanging around to get famous. Because even though thats how it began, Blaine knew Kurt was more than that. He was someone he could open up to and genuinely call his friend. He hadnt had that in a while.

Face to palm
Tear to tear
Mouth to tongue
Heart to ground
Heart to ground
Heart to ground
I am in love

Blaine closed the set and smiled one last time before heading into the back room. Thinking back, that was probably the worst idea hed ever had. Kurt had just introduced them as friends. Sure, they were going to be dating soon, but maybe Kurt wanted to tell Burt and Carole on his own, and not by some declaration of feelings through a song written by and for someone else. Blaine shook his head as he packed away his guitar. Gio came in to give Blaine his traditional post-show hug, but there was something different this time.

"Someone special, huh?" Gio asked with a knowing eyebrow raised. Blaine blushed slightly as Gio squeezed his shoulder lightly. "Perhaps that same someone whos been coming to all of your shows and is currently sitting at the front table with his family?"

"Hes a good friend, Gio." Blaine emphasized. "I wanted to make a good impression on his parents."

"Im just teasing, Blaine, relax." Gio winked and Blaine playfully rolled his eyes. As Gio left the room, though, Blaine could have sworn he heard a happy, "You two would make a cute couple!"

Just Wait. Blaine thought.


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