April 30, 2015, 7 p.m.
If I Could Use Your Love: Chapter 22
T - Words: 4,181 - Last Updated: Apr 30, 2015 Story: Complete - Chapters: 36/? - Created: Jun 23, 2014 - Updated: Jun 23, 2014 113 0 0 0 0
Songs:
Elephant Love Medley - Moulin Rouge
Here in Your Arms - Hellogoodbye (However, the version I imagined for this fic is a BEAUTIFUL acoustic version that I found on youtube, here)
So. This past week I have been BLASTED with Casey feels. Its been quite insane. For some reason or another, he keeps popping up into my life and I keep seeing pictures and gifs that make me think of all of these little moments about him and his relationship with Blaine it feels like a rusty knife every single time. Hes very important to me, even though I killed him. This is what I get in return. Attacks of feels. I will learn one day, but today is not that day.
So, if any of you love Casey or were wondering more about him and his relationship with Blaine and why I love him and how incredible he is, feel free to take a trip down feels lane with my under my Casey Hemp tag on tumblr. There will be gifs and tears and I will send you virtual ice cream if needed.
Thats all for today, then! Thanks for reading!
-Rae (tumblr)
If Kurt were being honest with himself hed admit that he really missed Blaine a lot in the past few weeks. That one night when he and Blaine hung out with Kayleigh was the only time they saw each other in the almost three weeks Blaine had been playing in new venues. And if Kurt were being honest, hed admit that he wanted to rip up his ever so demanding schedule so he could watch Blaine play every night. He missed seeing Blaine lose himself in the music; he missed Blaines bubbly attitude underneath his shy exterior that very few people had the fortune to see. He missed his laughter and his warmth and the way he was always so kind and put everyone else first.
But Kurt wasnt really being honest with himself.
Hed admit that he missed Blaine, but thats all. He would never allow himself to indulge in anything more. Because thats not how their relationship worked. They were only dating on the surface, and Kurt was there for that purpose only. Really, the best way to avoid heartbreak on either end was to keep their relationship strictly for the media.
And their friends.
And their families.
Kurt packed up his things and left his trailer, so incredibly happy that hed be able to surprise Blaine at his last show tonight. He really didnt know if it would work out that way, but luck was on his side and he was allowed to leave early today due to a light schedule. While a part of him wanted so desperately to crawl into bed and sleep off the last week of work, a larger part of him wanted to go and watch his best friend play.
Because thats what Blaine was, his best friend.
And really, Kurt didnt think he actually had feelings for him or any sort of thing like that. Blaine was someone (a gorgeous someone) whom Kurt was extremely close to emotionally. He could tell him anything and know hed never be judged and Blaine would always be on his side. Blaine was his best friend, thats all.
Which is really the only reason he was worried about their inevitable "break-up."
He wasnt worried that things would get awkward between them or they would lose touch; he was worried that the media wouldnt be able to drop the fact that they would (hopefully) still be close after it ended.
He sighed as he typed out a quick reply to Rachel on his phone (apparently she was trying to plan a weekend getaway to Lima), and tossed his phone into the passenger seat, staring at it for a moment before turning away and starting the car. His father had called him earlier and asked about his and Blaines Thanksgiving plans. It startled Kurt that Burt had so easily included Blaine when asking about Kurts plans. It was comforting, in a way, but it also made things more complicated.
Should they spend the holidays together? For appearances, sure, but that was a blurry line to draw. Hed have to ask Blaine about it.
For now, he focused on the road while he mentally ran through what he needed to do when he got home. He would only have an hour or so to get ready for Blaines show, but he wasnt too worried. He didnt have much to do, anyway.
All throughout his routine of getting ready, he couldnt help but weigh the pros and cons of asking Blaine to spend Thanksgiving with him and his family in Lima. So far, it seemed the cons outweighed the pros. Sure, Kurt loved spending time with Blaine; they were friends after all. But if anyone could see through Kurt, it was his family. Maybe not so much Carole, but Burt would be able to tell. If Kurt and Blaine werent able to keep up with their relationship while in Lima, Burt would see right through them. Kurt hated lying to his father regardless, but he didnt think his dad would understand exactly why Kurt was in this "relationship." Hell, Kurt didnt understand it half the time. It just... seemed right.
He pushed the thoughts away once more as he checked his reflection one last time, brushing his bangs up off of his forehead and smoothing his vest before heading out to his car. It wasnt just up to him, after all. He had to ask what Blaine wanted to do as well. They could talk after his show tonight.
Kurt was both surprised and thrilled to see that the place was pretty crowded. The venue could only hold a couple hundred people, but it was relatively full. He smiled with pride as he ducked into the back corner behind the bar, out of view of the other patrons in the building. This was Blaines night.
Kurt thought for a moment as he weighed his options. He really wanted to surprise Blaine backstage, but he really had no way of getting back there without drawing attention to himself or letting Blaine know he was here. He pulled out his phone, ready to just call Blaine, when he saw a text awaiting him from Kayleigh.
New Message From: Kayleigh
Youre doing a terrible job of being inconspicuous. Id know that hair anywhere. And if *I* know that, just think how little time you have until some fangirl notices you.
New Message From: Kurt
Then can you get me backstage? And dont tell Blaine; I want to surprise him. He doesnt know I got off early today.
New Message From: Kurt
And please, Kayleigh Rooney, dont even try to pretend youre not one of those fangirls.
New Message From: Kayleigh
Well, well, Mr. Hummel, do you want me to get you backstage or not?
New Message From: Kurt
Why does that sound like youre trying to make a deal?
New Message From: Kayleigh
Do you know how much money I could make just from showing certain people these text messages?
New Message From: Kurt
I knew I shouldnt have given you my number.
New Message From: Kayleigh
But teasing you is so much fun!
New Message From: Kurt
Just get me backstage before they notice me. Please? For Blaine? This is his night.
New Message From: Kayleigh
Sure, pull the best friend guilt card on me. Ill be there in a sec.
Kurt smiled and slipped his phone into his back pocket as he waited for Kayleigh, watching people subtly from his not-very-inconspicuous hiding spot. Luckily, no one seemed to notice him.
"Lookin good, hot stuff." Kayleigh joked as she appeared on his right. She looped a hand through his and led him back to a short hallway behind the bar with three doors. One led to an outdoor patio and two had signs that read, "Employees Only." Kayleigh pushed open the far door and continued to lead him through as he spoke.
"Thanks, Kayleigh, but you know Im taken and spoken for and all that. Not to mention Im not on your team." Kurt teased.
"Eh, I can still admire a good looking man. Why do you think Im such good friends with Blaine?" She retorted.
"Touché." Kurt chuckled. "So hows he doing? I really havent seen him a lot these past few weeks. My schedules been insane; I barely have time to think."
"Hes been great. Really great, actually. You can tell hes a little bummed that you couldnt make it to his shows, but I think the fact that hes finally doing what he loves, even if nothing is official yet, is really lifting up his spirits. He looks so at home when hes performing. Well, you know that, youve seen him." There was a twinkle in her coffee colored eyes when she winked at him as if they shared a secret. He offered a small grin back at her as they slowed their walk when they reached an opened door with the sounds of well-practiced guitar music pouring out.
"Go ahead," Kayleigh nudged him and nodded towards the open door. "Ill give you two a minute." Kurt looked at her questioningly when she flashed him a bright, knowing smile, but instead of commenting, he nodded and stepped into the room quietly.
Blaine was sitting on a stool towards the back of the room facing a mirror, but not looking in it. He practiced his chords and scales in swift movements along the neck of his guitar, his eyes closed and fingers taking over. Kurt always loved how in tune Blaine was with his music. It made his playing so pure and raw and powerful.
He sauntered over towards Blaine somewhat quietly, not wanting to interrupt, but wanting his presence to be made known. When Blaine didnt seem to notice he was there, he cleared his throat and spoke gently, trying not to startle him.
"God, its been so long since Ive seen you play." He whispered, surprised at the sound of awe in his own voice. Blaine jumped slightly in his seat, but his eyes flickered up to Kurts in the mirror and widened before he turned around and leapt off the stool, a wide smile spreading across his face and reaching his eyes.
"Youre here!" Blaine exclaimed, nearly throwing himself at Kurt in a tight hug, his guitar still in hand. "What are you doing here? I thought you were filming until late tonight!" He pulled back and set his guitar neatly in the stand by the stool, pulling Kurt along and settling them both on the love seat on the left side of the room.
"We were supposed to, but we cut out early because we had a light schedule and they had to fix a few things in the last few scenes they shot. I had a feeling Id be done early enough today but I didnt want to get my hopes up. Im just happy I could make it to your show!" Kurt squeezed Blaines hands that were intertwined with his own as he watched Blaines eyes glisten with a few unshed tears and a smile spread on his lips.
"Im so happy youre here," Blaine said sincerely, his voice full of emotion. "I mean, I know you had to work, but I really feel like I couldnt have done this without you. It felt weird that you couldnt see any of the shows."
Kurt smiled at that and pulled Blaine into another hug. "Well Im here for the last one, so make it your best, okay?" He chuckled against the skin of Blaines neck.
"I wouldnt want to disappoint," Blaine responded as he pulled back. "Its also my biggest show. I dont think Ive ever played for this many people before." Blaine looked nervous, which was strange, because he was almost never nervous before a show. Sure, hed get the pre-show jitters, but those werent nerves, those were from anticipation. This time Blaine looked like he was actually worried about something.
"Hey," Kurt soothed, ducking his head to look into Blaines eyes through his lashes. "Dont be nervous; they all came because they wanted to see you."
"I... I know. I just feel like tonight is the night I really have to prove myself. I have to be everything they want in order to get what I want." Blaine said uncertainly.
"Since when has that ever been your motive? Just play like you always do. Play because you love the music. Play because you want to share it." He encouraged. "Youre going to be amazing, as usual. I know it." Kurt watched Blaine and waited for him to relax and take his comfort. He massaged Blaines shoulder with his fingers, working the tense muscles as he breathed slowly, in and out, gaining his focus. His muscles relaxed with each breath, and he finally let out a soft, "thanks," while gazing up at Kurt.
At that moment Kayleigh poked her head in the door and swept in when she saw them sitting on the couch. "All right, love birds, stage manager said youve got five minutes. You ready?" She directed at Blaine, looking intently as he shook his head as if to clear it.
"Yeah. Yeah, I am." He stood up and squeezed Kurts hand gently before letting go, walking over to grab his guitar and head towards the stage, Kurt and Kayleigh following right behind him.
"Break lots of limbs and hearts," Kayleigh winked, giving him a hug. Blaine rolled his eyes and smiled good-naturedly. She backed away a little bit as the stage manager spoke with Blaine briefly before clapping him on the back and walking away, leaving Kurt next to Blaine.
"Ready?" Kurt asked, his palm resting lightly on Blaines forearm and his fingers playing at the sleeve of his shirt.
"Yeah, I... thank you. For being here, for everything, really. I wouldnt be here without you." Blaine whispered.
"Yes, you would. All I did was help speed up the process. Youre incredible and Im so proud of you." Kurt was sincere with his words and Blaine bit his lower lip and looked at him with eyes full of such raw emotion that Kurt couldnt help but tug Blaine a little closer by the sleeve and press a gentle kiss to his lips. "Now go remind me how amazing you are." Kurt whispered against his mouth, barely opening his eyes to gaze at Blaine, who was still so close. Blaine stole one more kiss from Kurt, smiling against his lips, before he pulled away and turned towards the stage, ready to go and perform. Kurt watched as he introduced himself, so comfortable and whole in the environment.
"Sometimes I dont know if I want to slap you guys or take pictures. Youre sickeningly sweet. Its adorable and nauseating." Kayleigh muttered from Kurts left.
"God, you and Santana would be wonderful friends. You sound just like her." Kurt remarked, eyes still on Blaine as he began to play.
"Santana is the one you went to high school with, right?"
"Yup. Beautiful woman with a perfect body that other women would commit murder for, but a mouth worse than a sailors. I love her to death, though. I dont know if I would have survived living in New York with Rachel without her. She was such a bitch but a fiercely loyal friend when you needed her to be, never anything but supportive." Kurt kept his voice quiet as he spoke, half paying attention to Blaine and half to his conversation with Kayleigh. "She was the one who convinced me to go to the auditions for Secret Sides."
"She was?" Kayleigh asked, also watching Blaine while talking with Kurt.
"Yeah. Rachel told me it was a waste of time because my main focus back then was Broadway, but Santana sat me down and basically asked what do I have to lose? I wouldnt be where I am without her." Kurt said honestly. Not that he tried to hide it, but he never really told people about his debacle before the audition that gave him his big break. He didnt want Rachel to look like the bad guy, because she wasnt; she just had a different focus.
"Wait a second, was she the girl you took to the premiere? She had dark hair and wore that red dress?"
"Thats the one," Kurt nodded in reply. "I felt like I owed it to her to invite her to be my plus one since she helped me out with everything."
"God, I wanted to kill her, shes unfairly gorgeous. Plus she was your date, that was another reason to be jealous." Kayleigh muttered bluntly, glancing at Kurt with a smirk.
"She could always pull off that ‘Devil in a Red Dress look better than anyone I knew." Kurt smiled. Kayleigh hummed in response and the two of them watched Blaine play song after song, with a few monologues in between. Kurt marveled at how much more comfortable Blaine had seemed since hed last seen him play. He wasnt quite fully comfortable on his own yet, but hed improved so much since Kurt first met him.
Towards the end of his set, Blaine had moved to the keyboard and played a few songs, but paused after one of them with a thoughtful look on his face, before turning a bit to address the small crowd, his fingers still playing absently as they usually did.
"So, I dont know if you guys know this, but I have a very close friend with me here tonight," Blaine started, glancing towards the backstage area and locking eyes with Kurt. "And I hear hes a pretty fantastic singer." He smirked at Kurt and turned back to the audience. Kurt could feel it coming before Blaine spoke again, the feeling of dread seeping into his bones as he tried to get Blaines attention and shake his head no, tried to tell him to stop. It wasnt that he was nervous or afraid of performing; despite his lack of real practice his voice was still well trained, but he wanted Blaine to have this night. He didnt want to distract from Blaines performance.
"I was thinking about asking him to come out and sing with me, what do you guys think?" Blaine asked in a light, almost teasing tone and the crowd cheered and screamed, far louder than should have been possible for the relatively small venue. Blaine looked back at Kurt and waited. Kurt tried to stand his ground as Blaine looked at him with twinkling eyes and Kurt finally relented, stalking onto the stage and shaking his head, but he couldnt help but grin. A second microphone was brought out as Kurt slid onto the far side of the bench next to Blaine, the audience cheering and screaming as he settled himself down.
"I hate you." Kurt murmured as they tested the microphone. Blaine just turned to him and smiled wider than Kurt would have thought possible, and all he could do was roll his eyes in response. "Do I even know this song?" Kurt asked once everything was set up and working properly. Blaine played out a few different melodies all at once, as if his fingers couldnt decide, pursing his lips in mock thought before he replied.
"Ill be pretty offended if you dont." Blaine said mockingly, winking at Kurt as he settled onto one tune that Kurt immediately recognized. He had a feeling it wasnt what he was expecting though. He knew Blaine would try to throw him off. Kurt watched as his fingers danced over the keys, pressing shortly on chords and backing off again, finally stopping all together and looking intently at him as he began to sing, his gaze never leaving Kurts.
All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love...
The last word had a sort of inflection that Kurt knew all too well. The grin on Blaines face and the sparkle in his eyes as he waited for Kurt to continue gave him away perfectly, and it was with a smirk of his own that Kurt replied with a well-practiced grace from all throughout his high school years. This was his favorite movie, after all.
Love is just a game
The two of them went back and forth, singing the entirety of Elephant Love Medley from Moulin Rouge, laughing the entire time while singing. They barely paid attention to the crowd, though they could hear the loud noises of encouragement around them, like a dull roar of background noise. Kayleigh was laughing and taking pictures from the wings of the stage, and the atmosphere around them felt so light and perfect, just as it should be.
As the song came to a close, the background noise grew louder and Kurt and Blaine were pulled from their own little world in the bubble of the piano. From the corner of his eye, Kurt could see Kayleigh bouncing up and down and clapping her hands frantically with a laugh etched across her face. He glanced over at Blaine and found him staring back at him, laughing as well and looking at Kurt with pure adoration. Kurt couldnt help but join the infectious laughter as the crowd continued to cheer and clap. After a few moments, Blaine cleared his throat and addressed the audience once more.
"Thanks, guys, that was fun." Once again, his fingers rested gently on the keys and he played softly, just loud enough to hear below Blaines speaking. "Ive got time for one more, so Im going to slow it down a bit, all right?" He looked out into the crowd, smiling brightly, and Kurt couldnt help but think he looked so natural and happy where he was. He moved to slide off the bench and slip backstage, but Blaine turned to him as he felt him start to shift away.
"Hey, no, no, no, stay. Im not done with you yet." Blaine ordered calmly. Kurt raised a questioning eyebrow, but returned to his seat wordlessly. Blaine gave a small, triumphant smile, and began to play a melody Kurt recognized easily. It was much slower and more graceful than the original, but Kurt loved Blaines style and his ability to make songs into his own.
I like where we are
When we drive in your car
I like where we are . . . here
Cause our lips can touch
And our cheeks can brush
Our lips can touch . . . here
Well, you are the one
The one that lies close to me
Whispers, "Hello, I miss you quite terribly"
Blaines eyes barely flickered away from Kurts as he sang, and Kurt knew there would be a huge deal about it tomorrow in the tabloids but he found that he really couldnt care less. He beamed as he joined in and harmonized with Blaine.
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now theres no place else I could be but here in your arms
I like where you sleep
When you sleep next to me
I like where you sleep . . . here
Our lips can touch
And our cheeks can brush
Our lips can touch . . . here
As Kurt took over the second verse, he couldnt help but smile to himself. For so long in high school, and though hed never admit it up until recently, hed longed for someone it could be this easy with. Someone he could sing to and with without batting an eye. They would know which parts to take without practice; they would just know each other.
Well, you are the one
The one that lies close to me
Whispers, "Hello, I miss you, I miss you..."
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now theres no place else I could be but here in your arms
Here in your arms
Here in your arms
Kurt didnt realize how quiet the audience had gotten until they started cheering again as the song ended. Blaine turned to him and mouthed a silent "thank you" before pressing a brief, tender kiss to his cheek, the action spurring even more screams and shouts from the audience as Blaine turned back to them one last time.
"You guys are awesome; thank you so much for having me here." He sat there for a moment, just staring at the crowd in awe and disbelief that they were all here for him. "Ill hopefully see you again soon! Thanks again, guys!" Blaine hopped off the piano bench, following Kurts lead off the stage towards Kayleigh and the stage manager next to her. Mark and Maya, Blaines boss and agent, were several feet away, conversing quietly with proud smiles on their faces.
Kurt stood off to the side and watched as Blaine was first bombarded by Kayleigh in a bone-crushing hug, then by the stage manager who needed to make sure Blaine had everything he needed before they cleaned up, and then by Mark and Maya, with whom Blaine took on a very professional posture and tone. They each looked excited as they spoke with Blaine shortly, clapping him on the shoulder and shaking his hand as they sent him off and he made his way over to Kurt, who immediately opened his arms and pulled him into a hug.
"You are amazing, Blaine. That was just... Im so impressed with how far youve come!" Kurt murmured against his ear. Blaine squeezed him a bit tighter in response and choked back a laugh. "Im serious!" Kurt exclaimed as he pulled back, his hands still resting on Blaines shoulders. "You dont even know how much youve grown as a performer. You barely ever used to talk during your shows. Youre so comfortable up there now; its wonderful. Im just so proud of you, Blaine." Blaine had tears in his eyes once more but he cleared his throat and blinked them away.
"You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that," Blaine whispered sincerely. He watched Kurt for a few more moments before breaking eye contact and glancing towards the empty stage. "Maya wants me to go back out and talk to people..."
"Say no more; go ahead and go be a star." Kurt nudged him with his hip towards the open stage, beaming as Blaine stumbled a bit on his feet.
"Ill be back in a little while, do you mind waiting?" Blaine asked apprehensively.
"Of course not, Ill be back here!" Blaine grinned widely and turned on his heel, plopping himself gracefully on the edge of the stage as a few people started crowding over. Yes, Kurt was incredibly pleased with how much Blaine had progressed in these past few weeks.