Jan. 5, 2012, 4:18 p.m.
Caged Bird Singing: 09- Conversation
E - Words: 2,694 - Last Updated: Jan 05, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 13/? - Created: Dec 12, 2011 - Updated: Jan 05, 2012 1,325 0 0 0 0
He took a moment to realize how weird that was. That he had slept dreamless, and awoke to Blaine’s kiss, which was the exact opposite of the pattern his life had fallen into. He decided he preferred this as he scooted closer to the heat of Blaine’s body and threw a leg around his hip. He felt Blaine’s smile as the kiss grew less and less lazy. Blaine, he’d learned, did amazing things with his tongue- he used it to twist around Kurt’s and coax it into his own mouth, and Kurt found the encouragement to explore hot to the point of endearing, and he was careful to learn what Blaine liked and repeat those tactics. Being as kissing was becoming kind of a regular thing, and he certainly didn’t mind that.
Blaine pulled away and then kissed him shortly on the mouth again and again- and then he was trailing his mouth down, over his jaw, to the spot right where his jaw hinged. He swirled his tongue around that smooth curve, mouthing at it as Kurt moaned- and his lips skated further down, stopping where the smell of Kurt was strongest in his nose his throat a few times, and then skimming down to where his nightshirt lay on his pretty collarbone, to hear Kurt groan his name, accompanied by a simple ‘please.’
Kurt watched through hooded eyes as Blaine rolled off and away from him, looking a bit guilty.
“I’m sorry, I forgot that I’m…”
“I forgot too.” Kurt grinned at him, and reached up to brush his frown away. “Wasn’t a bad ‘please.’” This was a relief. This felt like laughter, with the way it bubbled up in his chest and cured a little something there. “I don’t think you understand how nice it is to be able to make out with a beautiful boy in my bed without the implication.” Blaine hummed and rolled back into Kurt’s space, wearing a similar smile.
“It can be like this any time. Just tell me when it’s what you need.” He said, reeling Kurt back in with an arm around his waist. “And when it you want… implications.” He said, his forehead crinkling up before smoothing again.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s just… It’s hard to tell the difference between you wanting a boyfriend and you needing a dom. I need to know how to act, which means you need to tell me, baby.”
“What do you mean?” Kurt was thoroughly bemused.
“I’ll have to file that one away for the terms of covenant. We need something kind of like a safeword, but I worry that throwing corduroy around all the time will lessen the weight of it. I need a signal for when you want to be just my boyfriend.” Kurt didn’t know what to say to that.
“That’s a pretty big decision to allow me.” Blaine pulled his head back, his brow furrowed deep. “What? Letting me decide when I have to take your orders and when I don’t? That constitutes big.” Blaine rolled onto his back, scrubbing fiercely at his eyes.
“I don’t even know where to begin with you, sometimes.” Kurt opened his mouth, a little hurt, but Blaine cut him off. “What I mean by that is, I don’t know how to make you see that this is as much about you, maybe even more so, as it is about me. Until you realize that, I can’t…” He sighed. “I can’t be your dom. Really.”
“Then will you explain it to me?” Kurt asked. Blaine looked over at him.
“That’s what you need, isn’t it?” He said, eyes searching Kurt’s willing ones. “You need someone to explain to you why this is… why domming and subbing is a positive thing.”
“Yeah. Yeah, you could say that.” He said, and Blaine nodded. “Well. That’s kind of what I had in mind with training, but that… that really helps, Kurt. Knowing what you need really helps.”
“So where do we begin?” Kurt asked, allowing his eyes to close again as he rested his head on Blaine’s shoulder.
“Well, since you’ve been helpful so far, let’s make that one our first rule.” Blaine said, looking at him carefully. “You’re to tell me what you need from me whenever I ask it, or whenever you feel like volunteering the information. I promise that I will not disregard what you choose to tell me. Sound good?” Kurt considered this. It sounded clinical when Blaine said it, but under scrutiny it sounded… intimate.
He nodded.
“Sounds good.”
“Okay. Let’s practice.” Blaine said, with an air of teasing in his eyes. He pulled Kurt really very close, their lips a hair’s breadth apart. “What do you need?”
“…Coffee, and a scone.” Kurt said, with a very distinct air of two-can-play-at-that-game. Nothing seemed to please Blaine more, and he nodded delightedly, and nipped at Kurt’s nose before pulling him out of bed.
***
“Really, Blaine?”
“Well, I didn’t want to do twine. I thought that would chafe. And you have such pretty wrists, that would be a shame.” Blaine kissed the knot, and then held Kurt’s hands up for his inspection.
Kurt looked at them.
His wrists were tied loosely with a bright navy ribbon that Blaine made into a bow.
“You’re aware that if I tugged fairly gently, I could get out, aren’t you?”
“Mhm.” Blaine chirped. “Don’t.” He said, lower, before smiling at him and pulling him into den. “One of the reasons we’re doing this is for you to begin to learn to be good for me. Not that you haven’t been good so far.” He said, throwing Kurt a happy glance. “I also want to see if you’ll ever ask me to untie you, quite frankly. And, of course, as I recall, you like being bound?”
“A little firmer than this, but yes.” Kurt answered, shrugging. There really wasn’t any reason to be embarrassed about it. He was a sub. That was like acknowledging that he liked sex, right?
“It’s not something you have to like.” Blaine said, non-committal. Kurt looked up.
“I don’t like how easily you can read me.” He said, a little huffily, as Blaine traced his fingers over the ribbon, a corner of his mouth quirking up.
“Do you like it?” And because he asked, Kurt thought about it. Really thought. When he was with Max, being tied didn’t as much mean restriction as it meant that Max didn’t want anything out of him just then. It was safe, because when he wanted sex, he found other ways of keeping Kurt still. So sure, being tied up gave him something like relief.
But that feeling was left over. Old. When Blaine tied him, it was more like… like comfort. Like a promise. Like there was hope for him, and Blaine was doing it because he wanted to keep Kurt right where he was, right like this, so he could have him whenever he wanted. Kurt’s eyes snapped up, and met Blaine’s. They were patient. Curious.
“Yeah. I like being tied. I think I really like being tied.” Kurt said, nodding to himself.
“Alright.” Blaine said, slipping a finger under the ribbon, so he could guide Kurt to the couch.
“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” Kurt asked blithely. “You always do things like that.”
“What?” Blaine asked, looking alarmingly innocent.
“Made me think about it.” Blaine’s innocent face got even more innocent, and Kurt grumbled quietly.
“Aw, come on, honey. Don’t be like that. I had to know whether the response to being tied was… you know, autonomous. For research purposes.” Blaine put on a cat like smile.
`
“For the covenant.” Kurt said, clearing his throat. Blaine nodded. “You know, I still don’t really know what that is.”
“Ah, covenant. Have you never heard of one?” Kurt shook his head. “It’s not popular with a lot of Doms, seeing as how you can just get married, and then be held accountable for your sub. The covenant is a bit messier, but worth doing. We’ll have it done before we go into intense play. That’ll be our going steady thing. When you trust me. That’s the goal at this point.” Kurt felt his brow furrowing.
“So it’s like… like a pre-nup? Jesus.” Blaine laughed, and rested Kurt’s tied hands in his lap.
“Not at all, sweetheart. It’s more like a list of rules for me and you to follow.”
“So…?”
“Like… I will never, ever use the name that your previous dom employed on you. Or pet. Or any other name that you deem derogatory, actually.”
“Why do you have to agree to that?” Kurt asked, arching his brow. “Why would you want to?” Blaine’s eyes hardened just the slightest bit.
“Because you’re going to enjoy being my sub.” He said it tightly, and Kurt wondered if he’d done something wrong.
“But-”
“Do you want me to word it in terms that Maxwell got you accustomed to? I don’t want you thinking I’m him when I’m taking you, and I don’t want you to be feeling like you did when you were his.”
Kurt felt that he should be hugely offended by this. He wasn’t. He felt a little bit like giggling nervously, which he suppressed. Blaine broke first- it wasn’t even seconds.
“I’m sorry, Kurt, I had no right to say that, I had no right to even think, that we, that you-”
“Yeah, you did.” Kurt cut him off. Blaine looked at him, all wide eyes shocked mid-apology. “It’s a normal reaction. I wouldn’t want you to think of another sub while you were with me.”
“I wouldn’t.” Blaine said immediately. “They weren’t like you.”
“He isn’t like you.” Kurt said, soft and short, smiling at the way the simple phrase lit Blaine like a Christmas tree.
“That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Blaine laughed. “But do you understand what I mean about covenant?”
“I think so. I’m just… It’s crazy to me. You seem so sure we’re going to work.”
“I haven’t had proof otherwise.”
“That we’ll get to that place.”
“I’m very good at reaching my goals, babe.”
“You certainly are determined.” Blaine laughed outright at that, and pounced on Kurt, who giggled a bit as Blaine guided his bound wrists above his head and then nuzzled into his neck, a cat readying himself for a nap.
“If my boorish behavior two seconds ago didn’t convince you that I want you mine, I’m not entirely sure what will.” Kurt hummed, as Blaine wrapped around him.
“You weren’t a boor.”
“High praise from Kurt Hummel.” He chuckled into Kurt’s alabaster skin. “I forgot the most important aspect of the covenant. You are going to be the co-author.”
“What?” Kurt yelped, sitting up, knocking Blaine askew.
“I’m going to write rules for you, after of course asking you about your limits. You are going to write the rules for me, and then we’ll adopt them. I want to be the dom you need. And I know you want to be a good sub for me. This is the best way to do it.” Kurt looked at him, and then laughed, and laughed hard. “What?”
“I’m just wondering why I should ever be surprised by anything you say any more.”
Blaine just chuckled, and wrapped him, again, in his arms.
***
Kurt zipped up the dress and smoothed down the satin over his friend’s back.
“What do you think?” Tina asked.
“I think you have a body that most women would trade their first born, but I don’t think that this is it. Remind me why we’re not doing this at the office?”
“Because I don’t want to.” Tina said, not breaking eye contact with herself in the mirror. Kurt fluffed the layers of tulle under the smooth, silk-like fabric over her bustling skirt. “I want to do it the old fashioned way.”
“Our way is so much better, though.”
“I know, and I’m sure that you’ll be able to find me a gorgeous gown within two seconds of research, but I want to do this first.” Kurt smiled, and looked at his friend in the mirror.
The gown was a halter, and it cut all wrong into her shoulders, making her look a bit doughy around there. He waist was slim and her hips full, but the dress lay on her, didn’t accentuate this in the slightest. The bottom looked bedazzled at best.
“It’s terrible, isn’t it?” Tina asked, looking at Kurt, on the verge of laughter.
“Yeah, it is.” He laughed, and wrinkled his nose.
“S’alright.” Tina said, sitting down on the little pedestal in the middle of the floor. Kurt sat down next to her.
“How are you doing, Kurt?”
“Oh, I’m fine.” Kurt said, waving his hand.
“Kurt.”
“I really am.” Kurt said, and Tina looked at him. “I think that’s the issue.” Tina chuckled softly, and leaned into her friend, taking his hand and patting it rhythmically, and all of a sudden Kurt felt like crying, because for the first time that he could remember in a long, long time, he was fine. He was okay. He swallowed that feeling, and kissed Tina on the temple, her collar gleaming in the light. He didn’t want to do this to her, especially because the day was hers. Tina had way, however, of how comforting silently, that made him feel like he wasn’t taking advantage. And as her collar glinted in the light, he loved her and was glad to have her to pat his hand.
“C’mon, now. Let’s not get all sentimental.” He pulled her back to her feet, and she grinned at him ruefully. “You look like a bride, honey. You look so beautiful.”
“Liar.” She said, and Kurt laughed, and nodded.
“Okay, honey. Out of that one, into the next David’s Bridal abomination.” He put on a shudder, and Tina laughed and flounced into the dressing room.
***
Dear Momma,
I know I don’t write enough, so let’s get that one out of the way. I really do miss you, but there’s gigs and photoshoots, and god I loathe to think you keep up with me in the tabloids. (Have I told you not to look at those? Don’t.) I know, I’m an awful son, and if Dad was around he would tell me to man-up and be a better one, which is damn ironic, isn’t it? Him telling me to be a better person. I’m sorry, I never mean to bring these things up. I’ll try to write more, is what I’m saying.
Anyway, it’s starting to smell like snow around here, and I think you would like snow in the city. If you stop and listen you can hear the way the wind whistles as it curls around the buildings, digs in to get you cold. I’m sorry you can’t come visit, but I’m sure you’ll be alright. Maybe get Becky to take you out to see King’s Island like we used to every year?
I know how you are, and right now you’re telling me to get to the point. Well, here it is, and pray for me, Momma- I met a boy. And I’m in love with him. Only I can’t be in love with him yet- well, I totally can, lord knows, but he can’t know that yet, because it’ll scare the hell out of him. I’m writing you because he reminds me of you- not that you’re alike, because even in the ways you are, it’s not about that- he reminds me of you and how gentle you are. How you taught me to treat people like that, even with all the… well… you know. Do you remember the afternoon we built houses with playing cards and you scribbled a poem on one of them? I carry it in my wallet and I look at it and think of him and you and you’re the one who taught me to be a good person, a good dom, when my father should have.
Enclosed is your gift for your birthday. I’m sorry it’s late, it took a while to ship but I think it was worth it. I was never able to find a pair fancy enough for you, but I think you’ll like them. Kurt gave me the idea, said his friend used to wear them- he was on wheels too- and I know the lotion Beck gets you can only go so far. Don’t go on those nature strolls with them on, yeah?
Love you,
Blaine